Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

Lucy and Twiggy
“It is Wednesday, not Friday. You don’t have to eat grass on Wednesday Little one.”

 

It’s Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we found out the insurance company is unwilling to say much about Rafferty’s policy. We also didn’t get any information from Rafferty’s employment contract. In fact, we didn’t get anything at all. (The Greek chorus says amen) Is it any wonder Larry wants to try to contact Gloria? Heck no. It’s a good idea. We better hurry since he and Andrew are entering Micki Lee’s shop.

 

“Well hello, my two favorite cops.”

“Hi, Micki.”

“Not to draw too much of a fine line, Ms. Lee but I’m not a policeman.”

“Thank you, Mr. Cummings. Since you are in the employ of Mr. Dunfee, I believe you are a policeman.”

“Fair enough.”

“if you two are finished I have some business with you, Ms. Lee.”

“For heaven’s sake Larry. You need to lighten up. Nothing in this world was ever accomplished by getting too pushy.”

“Tell that to Washington.”

“Okay, what is it I can do for you.”

“I need to talk to Gloria. The last time she was on some kind of holiday. I need to know if she is back and can meet with me.”

“I think I can help with that. First, let’s have some tea.”

“I know you have your system so if tea is part of it, fine.”

“I’m actually playing with your head, Larry. Tea has nothing to do with it but I think you should relax and slow down a little. I’ll be right back.”

“Tell me, Andrew. Do I look like I’m in a rush or something?”

“Your type A personality is on your sleeve today.”

“Really? Well okay. Let’s just kick back and drink some mother loving tea and have a real social hour here.”

“Also your propensity to overreact is playing a part as well”

“For heavens sa—”

“Here we are with some nice black tea from China. I’ll pour.”

“You know Ms. Lee. There is nothing like a nice cup of tea to relax the soul.”

“Call me Micki. I see Andrew has been talking to you.”

“He mentioned a few things. Yes.”

“While you are having your tea, I will call Gloria.”

“That would be nice. Maybe she would like a cup as well.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so but hold on. Her presence is very strong. Gloria is that you?”

“I am here Micki”

“Gloria, how have you been?”

“Just fine, Larry. The important question is how have you been?”

“I still miss you.”

“I know but don’t worry. I’m here now. What can I do to help you?”

“The Sandusky case is driving us nuts.”

“Still no closer to a suspect?”

“That’s the problem. We have three and now possibly four and the death of his engineer.”

“It wasn’t an accident.”

“What Rafferty?”

“Yes.”

“Who killed him?”

“You know I can’t tell you that.”

“What can you tell me?”

“You need to pay close attention to who would want Rafferty’s dead.”

“We have those. Evon, Janice, and Cortez.”

“Sorry. You are missing the obvious.”

“The Police Chief of South Lake Tahoe?”

“Nope.”

“Aw come on, Gloria. Give me some help.”

“All I can say is the littlest insect can cause the most damage.”

“Huh? Insect?”

“Well, I need to get to the spa now, Larry. If you need more help you know where to find me.”

“Don’t leave, Gloria. Gloria?”

“You know when you have a spa appointment you can’t be late, Larry. She is not here anymore.”

“Do you have any insight into her insect parable?”

“Let’s think about it. Sip your tea. Clear your mind.”

“Hmm. The only thought that comes to mind when I think of little is someone with no power.”

“That is a good start. Keep thinking.”

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – A Story

Boss

Since Keith Channing is off buying a house in England and does not have a prompt this week, I thought I would tell you a story. I hope you like it.

The wish by John W. Howell © 2019

This is a fable of sorts. Yes, it begins with once upon a time but is a little different from most. You see the time was yesterday. Here’s what happened. This guy whose name was Mortimer was walking on the beach.  He was taking in the salt air and enjoying the sand between his toes. Mort did not have a care in the world. He had long ago made peace with the fact that he was an ordinary man. He no longer made any pretense about working hard and getting rewarded for doing so. You see, old Mort had worked hard his whole life and in his mind never got a thing for it. Yes, he was able to feed and clothe himself but never felt he had enough money to court a potential spouse or buy any luxuries.

Mort lived from hand to mouth. When he was young, he dreamed about the time when he would be a big boss. He had a belief that the road to success was paved with loyalty and dedication.  He became whatever his boss wanted him to be. He came in early and left late. He finished all assignments on time and with as much quality as Mort’s abilities could deliver. Time after time when the opportunity for a promotion arose the job went to someone else.

Mort, although disappointed, kept up appearances of a loyal and dedicated employee. He never expressed his true feelings. Year after year the same thing occurred. Boss after boss praised his work, but when it came time for a step up, he was passed over.

The day finally came where Mort worked up the courage to ask his boss the reason he never got a promotion. His boss seemed surprised by the question. Mort could see his surprise and inquired as to the purpose. The boss looked a little embarrassed but when pressed by Mort confessed that Mort was such a good worker that they would never have been able to replace him. Mort was so shocked by the double indignation of the boss’ admission and the unfairness of being irreplaceable that he rose from the chair and resigned.

Mort was strolling the beach thinking about what to have for dinner. He still had some Redfish in the freezer and was concocting in his mind a Beurre Blanc sauce. While lost in the thought of shallots Mort stumbled over a heavy object in the sand. He dropped to his knees and brushed the sand away. To his amazement, he uncovered a substantial brass urn. He dragged the urn out of the hole and on close inspection he could see a cover on top of the urn. He placed his hands around the cover, and like he was working a new jar of pickles, he finally got the cover to move. To his surprise, the cover began to move on its own. He jumped back and finally, the cover fell and stuck upright in the sand as if it were a discus.

Mort held his breath while a vapor rose from the urn like a well-trained snake. He couldn’t help himself as he began to feel weak in the knees. He soon was aware of his whole body shaking his inability to control it.

“Hey, Mort.” Came the voice from deep in the urn.”

“Y-yes.” Mort answered, but it wasn’t his finest response.”

“You get a wish.”

“I-I do?”

“Yup. It’s the old free the genie deal. One wish and I’m on my way.”

“I want to be a boss.”

“Granted.”

“Just like that?”

“Yup. You are now a boss.”

“Wait. Who do I boss?”

“Not my deal.”

“What?”

“Surely you have read enough genie stories where the genie grants a wish and the client forgot to include important facts.”

“Like who to boss?”

“Exactamundo.”

“Can I get a do-over?”

“Ha ha ha. No.”

“So I’m boss over nothing?”

“I wouldn’t sell yourself short.”

“So I’m boss over me.”

“A lot can’t say that.”

“You’ve given me a lot to think about.”

“How many do you think feel they are their own boss.”

“You should be giving self-improvement seminars.”

“Great suggestion. I gotta go.”

“Can I go with you?”

“You don’t need me. You have you and a great boss.”

“Wow. See you then. I have some orders to give.”

So needless to say, Mort lived happily ever after. The genie is still doing seminars on cruise ships.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Opening of the First Ray Kroc McDonalds

 

Top Ten Things not to do

Today is the anniversary of the opening of the first McDonald’s by Ray Kroc in 1955. It was sixty-four years ago that the fast food innovation began. In case you have a way to get back there here is a list of things not to do that will hopefully keep you from making a big mistake.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Opening of the First Ray Kroc McDonalds.

10 If you are at the opening, do not try to order your burger without onions. If you do, at best your request will be ignored. At worst, you’ll be asked to stand aside and in twenty or so hours you’ll get your burger. ( I have to say you were warned, Goodwine. If Ray wanted to eliminate ketchup from the burger he would have done it already.)

9 If you are at the opening, do not drop a paper on the ground while Tiny the WWF champ is in charge of picking up trash around the restaurant. If you do, at best he will ask you politely to pick it up. At worst, he will pick up the garbage and you and deposit both in the nearest can. (I know this space in the trashcan is tight, Gorman. The bad news is Tiny is adding more trash. You better hope collection day is soon.)

8 If you are at the opening, do not take any time to make up your mind on what to order. If you do, at best there is no one behind you. At worst, the person behind you has not eaten for twelve hours. (Not sure why you have a problem ordering, Gottfried. The menu only had a hamburger, cheeseburger, fries, shake, coke, root beer, orange drink, and coffee. How hard could it be?)

7 If you are at the opening, do not ask for ketchup for your fries. If you do, at best you will be refused. At worse, you will be subjected to the corporate lecture on why the McDonald policy forbids supplying ketchup for fries. (You now realize customer service does not include satisfying customer wants, Gowyn. Unhappy? Go pay 35¢ for a burger somewhere else.)

6 If you are at the opening, do not ask for a fillet-O-fish sandwich. If you do, at best no one will understand you. At worst, the employees will think you are trying to make trouble and call the police. (This is a fine kettle of fish you have gotten yourself into Gram. You should have known the fillet-O-fish was not introduced until 1965. The police are very interested in you now.)

5 If you are at the opening, do not ask for a seat inside. If you do, at best you’ll get a strange look. At worst, the manager will bring you in, and you’ll be waiting on customers before you know what happened. (If you keep at it, Graysen you might become the President like Fred Turner who started at the counter. Inside seating wasn’t available until 1962.)

4 If you are at the opening, do not start singing “Two all beef patties, lettuce, cheese, onion, pickle, special sauce on a sesame seed bun.” If you do, at best the employees will think you daft. At worst, the manager will think you are having a mental breakdown and will call an ambulance. (Since the Big Mac was introduced in 1968 it will be thirteen years until you are released from the sanitarium, Gregoly. Try not to make any trouble until then.)

3 If you are at the opening, do not start waxing poetic about the McGriddle breakfast. If you do, at best you’ll be ignored. At worst you’ll be asked to make a McGriddle and when you fail tossed out on your ear. ( So much for having a glimpse into the future huh, Griff. Best not show your face here again.)

2 If you are at the opening, do not ask them to supersize your order. If you do, at best you’ll get a blank stare. At worst, a well-meaning customer will pull you aside and give you a talk about the evils of overeating. (You should have remembered, Grim that the super-sized concept was way off in the future and a trend that didn’t last.)

1 If you are at the opening, do not remain at the store longer than to eat your burger. If you do, at best you’ll get looks from the employees. At worst you will be accused of loitering. (Before the police arrive you may get the explanation that Ray Kroc did not install payphones or vending machines near the restaurants so that bums like you would just eat and move on. Aw, don’t be so sensitive, Guglielmo. He didn’t think of you personally as a loitering bum. Just the rest of humanity.)

 

Views of the Neighborhood – Lakeway Air Park

There are several amazing things in Lakeway. One of them is an airport smack dab in the middle of houses and a golf course. The airport was originally used as a landing strip for a ranch. In 1964 a 3200-foot runway was built to support air interests of residents and later expanded to 3,983 feet. It is a private airport and receives no government funds. Operations are supported by fuel sales and landing fees. I hope you enjoy a look around.

Lakeway airpark

Here is an aerial view of the park. There are eight homes that have driveways connected to the runway. They are on the left.

Lakeway AirPark

A ground view looking South.

This is the central building. entrance is by keycode.

A sign explaining the fees. Note that the fee box is by the front door and compliance is the honor system backed up by a camera.

How much for aviation fuel? $4.02 a gallon here. 100 is the octane level and LL stands for low lead. This fuel is good for piston driven engines. Jet fuel is not available at the air park.

Here is a sign with some information about the airport. To the left is the elevation of the field (905 feet) to the right is the airport common frequency. This is used so pilots can communicate their position to other pilots in the area. This airport does not have a controller so awareness of other aircraft is important. The first item should be cause for concern. Deer on the runway are not a good thing. The second indicates this airport is not lighted so operations are restricted to daylight hours only. The third explains the landing pattern has a left hand approach at 1900 feet Mean Sea Level (A measurement against a calculated sea level standard) So, if you are intending to land your approach to the airport needs to be on the left side of the runway and at 1900 feet. If all planes use the same method collesions are avoided. The next advisory says upon take off pilots should stay on the runway heading until a mile away and at least 400 feet (Above the Ground) altitude. Let’s assume the take off heading is 340 degrees the pilot would hold the 340 degree heading until 400 feet AGL and one mile. No touch and go’s which means no practice take off and landings. The last one which says use at own risk is self-explanatory.

The last shot is of an airplane taxing toward the fuel station. Those bright spots on the wing tips are strobe lights. The propeller doesn’t look like it is moving thanks to my super-fast camera phone. You can see the houses located with access to the runway in the background. Way off to the left is a group of golfers getting ready to T-off.

Hope you enjoyed the visit.

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Lip.”

 

Stream of Consciousness

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is “lip.” Yeah, that’s right, lip. Anyway, Linda Hills says we can use the word alone or as part of another word. For example, Lipshitz. If you would like to join in and perhaps send yourself over the edge, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS April 13/19

Lip by John W. Howell © 2019

“Can you stop with the elliptical for a minute.”

“You want me to stop? Any more weight gain and I’ll need liposuction.”

“Save the lip, I need to talk to you.”

“Your speech is clipped, and brow furrowed, my friend.”

“Your machine makes so much noise. I don’t want my words to slip into oblivion.”

“Okay. I’ve stopped. What is it that has your pants in a backflip?”

“There is a millipede in my bed.”

“So what? They are so lilliputian; you can just brush them away.”

“Not this one. He was huge and did a backflip over my footboard.”

“So you could call him flippant?”

“Come on. I need you to get rid of the flipper.”

“Can you lipread?”

“Well, if you liplike in English.”

“Read my lips. Not going to happen no way no how.”

“You are slipping in your landlord duties.”

“See this clipboard?”

“It is filled with newspaper employment ad clippings.”

“Tells you my job search is not slipshod.”

“So you are not the landlord, slippery one?”

“Not even a blip on the landlord radar.”

“I hope your lipids freeze.”

“Ouch.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

“Okay, Little One it’s Friday. Time to ruckus.”
“You make the first move, Lucy. Then I’ll pulverize ya.”

 

Another fast Friday for me. Seems these weeks are flying. It becomes hard to remember just what went on for the week. I do know we received two area rugs which were welcome additions to the house.

We were pleased to get a permit and final approval for the fence. The company will start building about the 15th of May. They were totally booked by the time the details were worked out.

We had about one and a half inches of rain last weekend which pointed out the need for gutters at key points of the house. The rain came off the roof in torrents, and it was hard to get out the door without being drenched.  We need to find a gutter and downspout contractor.

Our landscaping plan includes a deck which will require a permit. So we are also in the hunt for a deck builder.

Like most things connected with a move there becomes a seemingly endless list of items.

Today’s JohnKu talks about how lists seem to grow on their own. I hope you all have a glorious weekend.

To Do Lists by John W. Howell

It starts with one thing,

Then just a small addition . . .

Soon too long to do.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy and Lucy at Home

Twiggy and Lucy

“Hey, Twiggy. Come see the new rug.”

“I’m busy now.”

“What are you doing?”

“Dad left the dishwasher open, and I’m checking it out. Be right there.”

“Okay. I’m here. Where are you?”

“Over at the dishwasher looking for you.”

“Man, you are a hard one to keep on the radar.”

“Been here the whole time.”

Twiggy and Lucy

“Yeah, sure, Little potato. I call this move my step over body pin.”

“Not hard to pin a little guy, Lucy. Let me up, and I’ll show you something.”

Twiggy and Lucy

“What’s that called?”

“Stealth stalking. The panther lays in wait for its prey.”

“Then pounces on the unsuspecting big ox.”

“Hey. Who you calling a big ox?”

“It’s just a game, Lucy.”

“Of course it is. Had you fooled.”

“Are you coming back?”

“After I graze the pasture Little One.”

“Brother.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

“Are you sure it’s Wednesday?”
“Yes, Little Potato I’m sure.”
“Can I go back to bed till Friday?”

 

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we were exposed to one more character who seems to have a connection to the death of Alexis Rafferty. Larry and Andrew added Captain Swartz of the South Lake Tahoe police department to the growing list of suspicious persons. I think Larry’s lament “God I hope we are not adding another suspect,” rings pretty true for all of us. We also heard Larry say out loud that he ought to contact Gloria.  Surprisingly Andrew seemed to agree. Larry had one more call to make, and that was to Evon to check the status of  Rafferty’s employment contract which Evon said he was going to send. I see Larry is off the phone so let’s get to the station for the results of the call.

“So, Larry. What did Evon have to say.”

“He said he is working on getting the contract read.”

“Did he say when he would have it to us?”

“No, and I get the idea he may be dragging his feet.”

“I don’t get it. What could be in a contract that would be a problem.”

“I don’t think it is the contract.”

“What is it then.”

“He is trying to delay our investigation.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Well, if I was on the receiving end of five million, I sure wouldn’t want some detective discovering something that could squelch the deal.”

“But he is Janice’s lawyer. What could he stand to gain?”

“Hos fee. I’ll just bet he stands to make twenty-five percent.”

“I see. That would be a million and a quarter.”

“Enough to drag one’s feet for sure.”

“Why don’t we call the insurance guy and find out where they are?”

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”

“Hold on I have his number here. Let’s see what he has to say. It’s ringing. Crap it’s going to voice mail. Yes hello, Mr. Davis, this is detective Dunfee of the Boston Police Department. We have a need to discuss the Rafferty claim with you for a moment. I would appreciate a return call. You can reach me at 617 555-5000. Thank you, Mr. Davis I hope to hear from you soon.”

“Doesn’t anyone answer their phones anymore?”

“I could tell this number is a cell phone. I think I’ll give him a text as well.”

“Good idea. I don’t think most people would ignore a detective of the Boston Police department.”

“Okay, I’ll let that one slip. You are pretty cheeky today.”

“We just don’t seem to be getting anywhere is all.”

“Hold on. Let me finish the text. There sent. I think having my cell number as well as the office is a good thing.”

“You mentioned Gloria before.”

“Yeah, since when have you become a believer?”

“Since Miss Lee introduced me to her fine selection of teas.”

“Very funny. Oops, hold on. Here’s a call from Davis. This is detective Dunfee. Oh yes, Mr. Davis. Thank you for returning my call. Yes, that is correct. We would like any information you can share regarding the status of the Rafferty claim. Hum, I see. How about with a subpoena? Yeah, I can get one for sure, but I had hoped we could handle this on an unofficial basis. Let me be blunt and ask is World Life going to pay the ten million in claims. I see. Okay then. Thank you for your co-operation. We’ll be in touch. Goodbye, sir. Jerk.”

“What was that all about?”

“Ah, he has some kind of confidentiality thing with his clients. He can’t disclose details of policyholders or policies.”

“So did he say anything.”

“Nothing of value. Just that the policies are under investigation.”

“Well, that says to me they are not going to automatically pay.”

“I guess.”

“How about some tea.”

“I think we need some help. Let’s go.”

 

 

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Whatever It Takes – The New Psychological Thriller by Suzanne Burke

I am so pleased to have as my guest Suzanne Burke who is here to tell you about her new release. Her book is on pre-order from now to May 8th at a terrific price. I was fortunate to be able to read her manuscript and can tell you this is a must not miss story. Let me stop blabbing and turn the post over to Soooz.

Whatever It Takes cover reveal banner with curtain

Whatever It Takes

by S.Burke

Available to Pre-Order NOW. At the special Pre-order price of $0.99c
Release Date: May 8th, 2019
>Psychological > Thriller & Suspense >.

It is such an exciting time for an author when releasing a new book! I would be remiss in not sharing my heartfelt thanks to the marvelous people who gave of their time so readily to beta read my latest book. Their valuable insights helped me enormously when crafting “Whatever It Takes” A big thank you to my wonderful editor and friend Rich Bowden @Bowden_Writing

At long last, I’m able to share the cover and blurb for “Whatever It Takes” my latest Psychological Thriller. “Whatever It Takes ” is due for release on May 8th, 2019.

It is NOW available for Pre-Order at the special Pre-Order price of $0:99

I have many good friends sharing this cover across the blogosphere today and tomorrow, so you’re likely to see it pop up in various places. Thank you to the marvelously generous hosts participating in my cover reveal splash, and to everyone dropping by to share in my excitement. Here’s my new baby . . .

With much gratitude to Eeva Lancaster at The Book Khaleesi for the cover creation.

Cover Created by Eeva Lancaster at The Book Khalessi

And now the cover …

Whatever it Takes Book Cover for all posts.

BOOK BLURB

James Kincaid had it all.

He’d made it the ‘A’ list in Hollywood, a town that prized and idolized its winners above all else.

Then life began exacting a price that no man could be expected to pay as the people he cared about began dying and dying badly.

He couldn’t move on with the dream without knowing why.

Andi O’Connor is the woman he’s hired to do ‘whatever it takes’ to find him the answers.

Could this disenchanted, street-hardened, ex-homicide cop uncover the truth without adding to the growing list of those already sacrificed on the altar of a serial killer’s insanity?

From New York to Los Angeles the body count continues to rise.

Time is not on their side.

***

Prologue.

James Kincaid had long-held to the belief that the red carpet he’d walked so often was stained that color with the blood of all those that had bled on the journey to satisfy their heady and addictive dreams of fame.

He’d shed more than his own fair share to get there. He hated the dream destruction, as much as he understood it. This town drew dreamers from every place on the planet, all in need of completion, all hungry for fame and holding on for dear life to the belief that it was only a matter of time before their artistic genius was recognized. No other drug ever gave them that high pulsing adrenaline rush that you soon became reliant on and addicted to. Those first glimpses of recognition hit harder than heroin. Until even those with a strong moral compass became lost.

Lady Luck had become his constant companion only five years before. After twelve years struggling to make headway in the business he became the latest ‘overnight’ sensation, winning the coveted role in what was tipped strongly to be the next ‘big thing’. He knew he could do justice to the part and that knowledge became abundantly clear as the audition cameras rolled.

James Kincaid found himself launched into the stratosphere. This was the only game in town and he was now a lead player.

He was feted and celebrated, pimped out and postured until the day when everything in his world fell into an oxygen-deprived free fall as people he cared about started dying from anything but natural causes.

**

Pre-Order Whatever It Takes HERE on Amazon

Suzanne Burke Amazon Author Page

On TWITTER.

On Facebook.

My Blog

Thank you so much for joining in my excitement. Your support is very much appreciated.

I would be delighted to hear your thoughts and comments below.

Whatever It Takes PRE-ORDER Banner USE THIS ONE FROM Eeva

Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Are Worshipping the Vampire Queen

As you can see by the headline, I am totally out of my normal comfort level. That is because a friend of mine is launching a new book. I twisted his arm and made him cry uncle and agree to come here today to tell you about it. Charles is a prolific author of some of the best fantasy books on the planet. It pleases me to have him here with his own brand of Top Ten Things Not to do. So without delay here is Charles. Wait we need to see the book cover first.

War of Nytefall - Rivalry

Wow! Beautiful. Now here is Charles.

A big thanks to John W. Howell for letting me be a guest, especially on one of his most famous weekly posts. For those who don’t know me . . . More hands went up than my author ego was prepared for. So, my name is Charles E. Yallowitzand I’ve just released a vampire action-adventure book called War of Nytefall: Rivalry. This is the third of my second series, which follows the players of the Vampire Civil War that happened in the shadows of Windemere. On one side, you had the old-world vampires that wanted their society to stay the same. Against them were Clyde and the Dawn Fangs, who are a new breed that can survive in the sun and live within human society. Now, a third faction is appearing, and this one wants to conquer the entire world. So, what are 10 warnings to keep in mind if you decide to choose the side of the legendary Vampire Queen?

  1. If you are worshipping the Vampire Queen, do not make suggestions about the royal dress code. At best, she will laugh at your foolishness and ignore you for a week. At worst, your skin will become her newest shawl.
  2. If you are worshipping the Vampire Queen, do not talk when she is making a speech. At best, she will have her Tiny the former WWF Champion throw you out of the room with no dinner. At worst, she will make all future speeches by using you as a semi-living ventriloquism dummy.
  3. If you are worshipping the Vampire Queen, do not think any of the jewels lying around the island are public property. At best, you will be summoned to her bedchamber and asked to return what you accidentally stole. At worst, you will be dipped in liquified rubies and repurposed as a garden statue.
  4. If you are worshipping the Vampire Queen, do not mention that you know the person who cannot be named. At best, she will kill you instantly in a fit of unbridled fury. At worst, she will kill you slowly over the course of a month in the hopes you telling her something about her hated rival.
  5. If you are worshipping the Vampire Queen, do not forget her birthday even though she never told you it in the first place. At best, she will accept your homemade card and a pint of your blood as a present. At worst, she will enslave your mind for the next year and have you do the chores that nobody would wish on their enemies.
  6. If you are worshipping the Vampire Queen, do not forget to praise her beauty when she asks for a compliment. At best, she will give you another chance because she’s in a good mood and feels bad about catching you off-guard. At worst, she will be so insulted by your silence that dropkicks you out of her kingdom . . . in pieces.
  7. If you are worshipping the Vampire Queen, do not try to seduce her in an attempt to become her king. At best, she will use you for a night and cast you aside with only your pride and clothing in shambles. At worst, you will be made to fight her strongest warrior to prove you are worthy of her hand while naked and armed with a caviar spoon.
  8. If you are worshipping the Vampire Queen, do not talk to her about the best way to kill a Dawn Fang. At best, she will answer your question and go on with her day. At worst, she will assume you are a really stupid assassin and have you locked away until she has decided on the best way to torture you for information.  (Note: Since you are not an assassin, you have nothing to tell and will probably be killed.)
  9. If you are worshipping the Vampire Queen, do not show up to one of her parties wearing the same dress. At best, you will be given a new set of clothes and made to work with the wait staff as penance. At worst, she will have you spend the rest of the party naked and not be allowed to have any of the food.
  10. If you are worshipping the Vampire Queen, do not talk as if there are other Vampire Queens in existence. At best, she will . . . Wait . . . *reads the title of post* . . . Oops.I’m just going to head out now with no forwarding address.  Grab a copy of War of Nytefall: Rivalry and learn what the Vampire Queen of Windemere is planning.

Thanks again to John and hope everyone enjoyed.  Check out War of Nytefall: Rivalry on Amazon and see you in the comments.

 

About the Author:

Charles Yallowitz

 

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn’t working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. Truthfully, his tales of adventure are much more interesting than his real life, so skip the bio and dive into the action

 

Blog: www.legendsofwindemere.com
Twitter: @cyallowitz
Website: www.charleseyallowitz.com