A very brief post to wish you and your family in the US a very Happy Thanksgiving. For the rest of the world…peace.
Tag: His Revenge
Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day
It is Wednesday Story Day again. This week’s episode is sponsored by Teagan Ríordáin Geneviene and her excellent blog Teagan’s Books which can be found at this link. https://teagansbooks.com This episode is being dedicated to Teagan since she guessed (pretty much) the ending of the story. So, last week, we left the gang getting ready to go out into the world. Alexis and Trudy told Ralph they weren’t going. Ben said the same but changed his mind after Ralph threatened a bullet to the kneecap. So back we must go. This may be the last time on this journey.
“All right then. Are we ready to go.”
“Mr. Worthe?”
“What Ben.”
“Do I really have to go out there?”
“Yes Ben. Also, I’m going to force Trudy to go as well.”
“You what? Listen to me Ralph Worthe. I’m not going anywhere with you.”
“You going to stay and face the music?”
“The music as you say is all on you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I fixed it so you’ll take the fall, Ralph. That’s what.”
“Oh, do tell.”
“Not in front of these witnesses.”
“Oh come on Trudy. You know as well as I do we are all going to be dead before the day is over. In fact if it were up to Dan Anton we all would have been dead six weeks ago.”
“Who the hell is Dan Antion?”
“Forget him. Tell me now or I will put one through your left eye.”
“Daddy no.”
“Shut up Alexis. Tell me Trudy.”
“Okay. Yes I was the one who took the money offshore and sold explosives to the underworld. I made it look like you did it. You had no idea and in fact had you left well enough alone we would already be in the Cayman’s having a drink by the pool.”
“So you acted alone?”
“Yeah. Who would want a dumbass like you in on the take.”
“Mom?“
“Shut up, Alexis. This doesn’t concern you.”
“Yes, Alexis your mother has pretty much stepped in it. Lightfoot? You hear enough?’
“I sure have.”
“Ben. you got it all.”
“Yes sir I do. My phone recorded everything.”
“Alexis, you as well.”
“Yes, Daddy. Mom confessed to everything.”
“Okay then Lightfoot do your duty.”
“Yes, sir. Trudy Worthe, you are under arrest for money laundering and conspiracy to commit felony coercion and black mail as well as unlawful possession of explosives.”
“You can bite me Lightfoot. Why are you listening to Ralph, that worm Ben, and my daughter.”
“Alexis and Ben have been given immunity and will be happy to testify at your trial. Ralph has been an undercover agent for the last ten years. We have been trying to break this ring and now have you dead to rights.”
“You’ll never make it stick. After this bogus charge is thrown out I’ll sue you all for everything you have. You will owe me big time for this.”
“Trudy. I have always tried to be civil to you over the years in spite of your hateful personality. So I’m going to ask Agent Lightfoot to read you your rights and in the meantime offer you a big cup of shut the fu*k up. Commander we are coming out.”
Well, that is it for the Worthe’s Ben, Lightfoot, and Alexis. I hope you enjoyed the series. Don’t forget to visit Teagan at https://teagansbooks.com. The in next week for a new story
Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #101 by Keith Channing
Here is what it is all about in Keith’s words.
“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t work.
Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”
Here is the photo.
Just Thinking by John W. Howell © 2016
“So I was wondering. Would you like to go to the movie with me? I know it is forward of me to ask, but I have admired you from across the bazaar. I have been watching you for weeks now and think I almost know you. You don’t have to answer right now. I can come back. I was thinking we could go to the movie but grab a little dinner first. I know this beautiful place that has killer appetizers. It is a very public place, so you won’t have to feel uncomfortable. The movie is rated PG, so there will be no embarrassing, funny stuff on the screen. After the film, we could get some dessert. There is a lovely bistro that serves the best eclairs. Oh, maybe I misspoke. You may not like eclairs. That’s okay you can have anything you want. Their menu is quite extensive. Then after dessert, I will walk you home to make sure you arrive safely. So what do you think? ”
“Excuse me. Are you talking to me?”
“Uh. Yes, I was.”
“I’m sorry I was deep in thought. Please excuse me.”
“Not a problem. I was rambling anyway.”
“Rambling about what?”
“Oh, nothing much. You know the weather and such.”
“Yes, it is quite lovely today.”
“It is. Well, I won’t keep you. Have a pleasant afternoon.”
“You as well.”
“Bye now.”
“Goodbye.”
Top Ten Things Not to Do If You Are a Writer
The inspiration for this list is thinking back on all the mistakes I made while trying to become a writer. Not that I made all of them, but maybe most. I hope you enjoy.
Top Ten Things Not to Do If You Are a Writer
10 If you are a writer, do not kill a child or a pet in your story. If you do, at best the fallout will blow over in two years or so. At worst, you will be cavorting with some strange characters in your new witness protection plan. (Don’t get cute with a pen name either. They will find you)
9 If you are a writer, do not show friends and family portions of your work in process. If you do, at best you’ll pick up some unwanted advice on plot direction. At worst, your family will now wonder how in the world you ever got the experience to write that sex scene. (Just how do you explain that one Buford?)
8 If you are a writer, do not think you can take a vacation. If you do, at best your characters will haunt your every moment until you get back to the manuscript. At worst, you’ll suddenly let your insecure inner self convince you to quit and become a McDonald’s employee. (At least the money will be better huh Clyde?)
7 If you are a writer, do not tell people at a cocktail party what you do. If you do, at best they’ll smile and walk away. At worst, you will have to listen to a potential best-selling synopsis that takes over an hour to relate by someone who is thinking of writing a book. (Like it is the easiest thing to do, Ferd)
6 If you are a writer, do not think that life ends when the manuscript is done. If you do, at best your story will take on epic proportions. At worst, you may get the heaviest book award from the New Apple Book Awards group. (You didn’t know that was a category? It was established primarily for you. No, your manuscript cannot be returned since the flatbed truck is not available.)
5 If you are a writer, do not let your characters take control of the story. If you do, at best you’ll have a pack of amateurs running the show. At worst, your story will take on the appearance of a three-ring circus (You hadn’t intended to write about entertainment did you, Ernest?)
4 If you are a writer, do not be in a hurry to get published. If you are, at best you may have a plot hole that no one will notice. At worst, the grammar, plot, character, and continuity issues might gain you all the one-star reviews you can handle. (Quite a shock huh?)
3 If you are a writer, do not think you need to do little else. If you do, at best those few books sold will be gravy. At worst, your status as the great undiscovered but brilliant novelist will remain undisturbed. (Best to write your own eulogy as well.)
2 If you are a writer, do not plan to have your retirement income be solely based on your royalties. If you do, at best you can cut expenses enough to survive. At worst, you are allergic to the kind of soup at the Salvation Army kitchen. (All your pals are really impressed that you are an author. Right Bunkie?)
1 If you are a writer, do not argue with your reviewers. If you do, at best the reviews will not improve. At worst, you may pick on the single reviewer who is classically trained in the martial arts and knows where you live. (Is that Tiny the WWF champ tearing your front door off the hinges?)
Views of the Neighborhood
Our local paper The Port Aransas South Jetty summed up the amount of alcohol consumed on the island last year. To quote “Drinkers at bars and restaurants in Port Aransas downed $11.4 million worth of adult beverages during the past year. According to the Texas State Comptroller’s Office, that figure is up 1 percent from the $11.3 million during the same period the previous year.” If we didn’t have help from the tourists it would mean every man, woman and child would have consumed $2,850 worth of adult beverages, and that does not include takeout. (Of course, my analysis is flawed)
So here’s the deal. Our island has been described as a”Drinking village with a fishing problem.” It is no wonder then that the numbers are increasing. The population has a job to do to keep the reputation alive.
Today I want to give you a little flavor of the salty side of Port Aransas. There is no better way than to show you some of the boats moored in the marina.
Here are two boats used for fishing excursions in the Gulf
This photo shows a couple of boats that are privately owned and docked outside the owner’s condo. The one on the right is clearly a fishing boat. The one on the left is a large catamaran. Pretty convenient I’d say.
here is a boat that could be a condo unto itself, but it too is parked outside the owner’s condo.
Now for a couple of shots of the boats that you see the most of here. There are some fishing boats and sailboats scattered together.
This shot shows more fishing than sail.
There are boats here that are just for fun.
Yes, that is a pirate ship. Next to it is a boat used for Dolphin tours. The fun part comes when the dolphin tour boat gets attacked by the pirate ship. They tell me the kids get pretty excited.
I hope you enjoyed the brief tour of the marina.
Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Yes”
Yes, it is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this week’s prompt is “yes.” Linda Hill says we can use it as a word or part of a word. (Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose) Also this week there is an extra point possibility if we begin and end the post with “yes.” (That’s why you see “yes” as the first word in this post). If you would like to join in this hilarity, go to Linda’s site and read how. Here is the link to Linda Hill’s post
Yes by John W. Howell © 2016
“Yes, we have no bananas. We have no bananas today.”
“Why are you singing that funny song? I can tell you’ll never make it at Yeshivah.”
“I don’t want to attend Yeshivah. I’m singing a song of yesteryear.”
“Forget the past. It sounds like yesternight. Too much beer huh?”
“No. This song was popular when there was a shortage of bananas. Same time as the invention of polyester.”
“You are a real font of information today. Do you have eyestrain from all that studying?”
“No. My eyesight is fine, thank you.”
“So are you going to sing any more of yesterday’s hits?”
“I’m reluctant to do so around you. Let’s say I’m the shyest.”
“I can live with that. I say yes.”
Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF
This week has gone quickly. I suppose being busy has helped. I managed to get the My GRL manuscript off to the editor for a final go through. I also finalized the cover and will have it to show at a later date. I have been working on a newsletter that isn’t quite right so I think it might take more time. My attempts at humor fell pretty flat. I believe it is hard to write humor when you have no idea what the audience will find funny. Let me give you an example. I wanted to explain that the recipient had the option to cancel their subscription. So I said, “If you find this letter does not live up to the three reasons to keep it, feel free to dump your subscription like it was last night’s Chorizo burrito.”
*crickets*
At least the political situation is beginning to work its way into some semblance of normalcy. Let’s hope so. Today’s JohnKu talks about situations where we fear the worst but the outcomes are never as bad as feared.
Events of Fear by John W. Howell © 2016
Fearing the worse case,
We build walls of protection. . .
Now feel too cautious.
Thursday a Little Personal – #RRBC Virtual Writer’s Conference and Book Expo
You may have heard the exciting news about the first *virtual* RRBC WRITERS’ CONFERENCE & BOOK EXPO!! The club is beyond excited about this event and I also hope you are going to join us. This will be a one-of-a-kind event you do NOT want to miss!!
The Club expects the Conference to be huge and I want to ensure that EVERYONE reading my blog knows about it. Here is who should attend: new writers, experienced authors, and even readers!
Important information
*Conference Dates: December 1st thru 3rd
*Registration Deadline: November 23rd
*Registration Link: https://rrbcwritersconferencebookexpo.wordpress.com/registration-general-information/register-now/
*Pricing Link: https://rrbcwritersconferencebookexpo.wordpress.com/registration-general-information/registration-packages-pricing/
Here is a list of the sessions.
*Building Your Author Platform
*Why Your Brand is Important and Why Protecting It Is Even More Important
*Why You Should Never Refuse LIVE Media Interviews
*Blogging for Success
*Literary Lingo 101
*Marketing 101
*Indie vs Traditional: Which One Wins?
*Social Media Dos & Don’ts
*Editors: Sniffing Out The Right One
*Formatting Made Easy
*Your Best Self Promotion Tool…
*Writing In The Senior Season
*Writing the Perfect Book Review
*Book Blurbs Do’s & Don’ts
*Cover Design (FREE bonus session!)
So go to the RRBC site for more information and sign up. Here is the link again. https://rrbcwritersconferencebookexpo.wordpress.com/registration-general-information/
Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day
It is Wednesday Storytime again, and last week we left Ralph telling the commander that he was coming out. We need to get back quickly so that we don’t miss any of the action. This episode could be the end of Ralph and we wouldn’t want to miss that circumstance. Unfortunately, we do not have a sponsor this week, but the good part is we don’t have to worry about offending someone directly.
“Okay, Y’all need to gather around. We are going out there, and I need everyone to get close.”
“Daddy. You can’t be serious. You want us to protect you without bodies.”
“Don’t be a simp Alexis. They’re not going to shoot you innocents.”
“How do you know that, daddy?”
“Yeah, Ralph. How do your know that?”
“Trudy and Alexis. What federal officer in his right mind would take out an innocent bystander or a hostage?”
“I would do that, Ralph.”
“Shut up Ben. Don’t call me Ralph. Its Mr. Worthe to you.”
“Mr. Worthe. How do you know all those Federal Agents are in their right mind?”
“Lightfoot. I think you need to shut up as well.”
“But Daddy. You know about all those shootings by police officers. How do you know there isn’t one of those out there?”
“For heaven’s sake. You all sound like you are lunatics. Enough talk. Gather round.”
“Not going to do it, Ralph.”
“Trudy. You know this will work.”
“Nope. You have been a lousy husband, and I’m not taking one in the head for you. I’m sitting right here. Have a safe trip.”
“Trudy. You sure pick a fine time to bring up our marital problems. Okay so who cares. You stay here. I’m sure you will love spending the next fifty years in jail.”
“Would be better than being with you. Besides, they have nothing on me. You’re the guilty one.”
“Don’t make me laugh Trudy. Everyone knows I don’t have the sense to come in out of the rain and you are the mastermind.”
“Whatever Ralph. As I said, have a nice trip.”
“Okay, the rest of you. On your feet.”
“Sorry Daddy. My mind’s made up too. I’m staying.”
“Suit yourself. I think two hostages will be enough.”
“Count me out pops.”
“Ben. How about I give you a third eye? There is no reason to shoot my loved ones. I can’t say the same for you. Now get up.”
“Well, now that you put it that way.”
“Next time you call me anything but Mr. Worthe I’m going to put one in your kneecap. Got it junior?”
“Sheesh, what a grouch.”
Well, it is too bad we have run out of time. Tune in next week for a conclusion. (er maybe)
Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #100 by Keith Channing
It is hard to believe this edition of Kreative Kue is number 100. I have enjoyed each in which I have participated. If you want to do it here is Keith Channing to explain it all.
“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t work.
Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”
Here is the photo.
Our House by John W. Howell © 2016
“Man alive, you are so in trouble.”
“I don’t need to hear that. I know it. What I need to hear is suggestions on how to fix this mess.”
“How on earth did this happen?”
“I’m not sure. I was feeding my rabbits and all of a sudden this thing drops out of the sky.”
“Out of the sky? This must be hundreds of tons. How could it just drop out of the sky?”
“I don’t know, but you can see the rabbit hutches are untouched. in fact when the thing hit they along with me just popped up onto this ledge.”
“You were lucky you weren’t killed.”
“Well, we need to figure out how to move this thing before my father gets home.”
“I don’t think that is possible. Your house is under there somewhere and even if you could move it there won’t be anything left.”
“So what can I tell my father.”
“How about the truth?”
“I’m not sure he would believe me.”
“Why not? You said you were feeding your rabbits and this thing fell out of the sky. That’s the truth right?”
“Not exactly.”
“Not exactly? What does that mean?”
“Well, I wasn’t feeding the rabbits. I was on my computer and having a chat with a guy whose name is Zeus.”
“Chat name of Zeus? What were you talking about?”
“Aw he was saying how great he is and I called his bluff.”
“Called his bluff? How?”
“I told him if he was so great and could do what he said why not show me something.”
“Like what?”
“Like putting the Brooklyn Bridge in my back yard.”
“Man, I’ve told you before that those chat rooms are dangerous.”
