In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.combefore 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.
Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”
This list was originally posted on June 6th, 2016. I hope you enjoy it.
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The inspiration for this list is some men-only ski trips I have taken to Lake Tahoe. Some of the items in this list are a result of observation. There is at least one in which I participated. I’ll let you decide which one it is. I also wanted to make this list while the memory of snow is good.
Top Ten Things Not to Do on a Men Only Weekend Trip.
10 If you are on a men’s trip, do not volunteer to cook anything. If you do, at best, you will be relieved after the first meal. At worst, the group will love what you do, and you’ll spend the rest of the trip chained to the six-burner stove. (You always wanted someone to praise your food but not this much, huh, chump?)
9 If you are on a men’s trip, do not take your time to enter the house when you get there. If you do, at best, you’ll have the last pick of sleeping accommodations. At worst, the final selection will be the swing on the three-season porch, and the three seasons have passed. (Yes, that is snow on your shoulder this morning.)
8 If you are on a men’s trip, do not wear your at-home sleeping attire. If you do, at best, that hole-filled T-shirt will be the talk of the group long after the trip is over. At worst, pictures will be taken and go viral. (Pretty hard to explain no bottoms, isn’t it?)
7 If you are on a men’s trip, do not slip and fall headfirst into the hot tub while holding onto a pastrami sandwich. If you do, at best, you’ll be able to get rid of the sandwich before it hits the filter. At worst, the damage deposit will be entirely consumed by replacing the filter. (Guess who’s going to pay the whole thing?)
6 If you are on a men’s trip, do not decide to gamble unless you know what you are doing. If you do, at best, you will lose early and quit. At worst, you will win early and then continue until you are cleaned out. (Sure, the casino accepts American Express)
5 If you are on a men’s trip, do not try to convert anyone to your vegan principles. If you do, at best, everyone will think you are joking. At worst, your fellow travelers will keep their distance, hoping they don’t catch whatever you have. (The explanation of the virtues of the vegan lifestyle might be better if your audience is sober)
4 If you are on a men’s trip, do not forget the effects of high altitude on liquor consumption. If you do, at best, you might just pass out. At worst, you will spend the night using the ceramic microphone to call trains to places like Pittsburgh. (Amazing how long the detox process takes, huh, Bunky?)
3 If you are on a men’s trip, do not think the whole group wants to go with you to visit the place you were married. If you do, at best, you’ll go alone. At worst, those who go with you will think they have wasted their time and demand you pay for drinks. (Okay, I confess. This one is mine. The Producer and I married at Lake Tahoe, and I did convince some to visit the spot with me. Yes, I bought the drinks after.)
2 If you go on a men’s trip, do not think you must use all the drink coupons on the journey to the destination. If you do, at best, you will still be flying when you land. At worst, you’ll have to face the trip home without any fortification and in the center row between two members of the University wrestling team. (Maybe more air would help, but you can’t raise your arms trapped by the incredible hulks on each side.)
1 If you go on a man’s trip, do not forget a souvenir for the folks back home. If you fail, at best, you have just had your last men’s trip. At worst, the memory token will be chosen for you and will cost a little more than what you would have spent. (No, two ticket stubs from a casino show will not do.)
Well, it is back to the sculpture park to complete our tour. If you missed last week you can go HERE and catch up. We are catered by Luke’s Inside Out of Austin, a food truck. Our entertainment will be Maroon 5.
Menu
Trailer made Corned Beef Hash and Eggs with Toasted Buttery English Muffin
Cheese It Migas with Tater Tot Hash
Szechuan Chicken and Waffles with Brie, Bacon, and Honey
Omelet of the Day with Toasted Buttery English Muffin
Brick Fist Taco Jimmy Dean Breakfast-Sausage, Bacon, Tater Tots, Eggs, and Queso in a Very Large Tortilla
Chicken Fried Beef Tenderloin and Cream Gravy with Eggs, Tater Tot Hash
Belgian Waffles with Honey Whiskey and Coffee Whip Cream, Toasted Cinnamon Sugar Pecans, and Crispy Bacon
*All brunch items served with sweet chile mint fruit*
The Burger 8 oz Sirloin Bacon & Cheddar with Love
The Vegetable Falafel, toasted mozzarella, spinach, tomatoes, cucumber, pickled red onion & love sauce
The Shrimp Chipotle Rosemary Glaze with Blue Cheese, Apple & Honey
The Chicken Szechuan Fried with Sesame Slaw
Any kind of beverage your heart desires.
Jump on, and let’s go.
The first is titled Tree Hugger by Brent Baggett. I think Brent had a sense of humor.
Speaking of humor. Wanna Race by Marla Ripperda
Undivided by Matt Devine shows standing together is the stongest way.
Color Keep by Zeke Raney and Elizabeth Farrell adds a bit of fantasy to the abode.
This is not a piece of art but something to do at the park.
A group of bats representative of Auston bat population. Fly By Night by John Mark Luke
A lovey piece titled Ram by Cheryl Latimer
Full Bloom by Jennifer Chenoweth as seen from underneith the work.
Earth Mother by Yuliya Lanina is a haunting piece.
Source by Jonathan Sanders can leave you with questions.
Shining Apollo by Jennifer Chenoweth is made of metal but has a wood like appearence.
A Peaceful Place A Community Project
Last but not least we have a symbor of Texas. Legation Longhorn by Marla Ripperda.
I hope you enjoyed the tour and now it is time to eat and listen to Maroon 5. Have a great week.
Waking up on a Saturday carries with it the promise of a visit from one of my favorite cartoon characters. Since that has been the scene for a while, it is almost expected each week. Since it is expected and the front door’s unlocking carries immense protocol and effort, I decided to invest in a new security system.
The installer left yesterday and while my magic brew is under construction, reading the operator’s manual is in order. At the top of the page are the words “Good. Feel Good.” Thinking that the security company has a heart, I couldn’t help but feel comfortable. The brew cycle is finished, and the instructions for the system are entirely consumed while drinking the elixir.
My ring doorbell lets me know there is someone out on the porch. Checking my phone, I could see what appears to be the Tasmanian Devil standing with an envelope in his hand. I can see him gesturing to open the door. Checking my instructions on the door opening procedure, I notice on the control panel the “Time Lock” feature has a blinking red light. The manual says that means it is engaged. The small print also says there is no override and that the door will open at the time indicated on the panel. Checking the board shows the time to open is 9:00 AM.
Since it is 7:00, I use the outside speaker to communicate that the door will open in two hours. The eyebrows of the Tasmanian Devil heads north as he starts to spin. Before long, he has eaten the front door and all the living room furniture. With a loud burp, he drops the envelope and spins back out the hole where the former front door used to be.
Sorry for getting rid of the iron bars, concertina wire, and other barriers; I open the envelope. Sure enough, it is from Linda Hill. The message says, Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “the first 2-5 words at the top of the closest printed matter.” Open (if necessary) the closest printed matter to you. Use the first 2-5 words at the top of the page any way you’d like in your post. Have fun!
Today’s good news comes again from the Good News Network, so here it is unedited.
Teen Finds Woman’s Purse and is Rewarded With $17,000 After He Delivers it to Her Door By Good News Network
A 17-year-old teen in San Diego returned a purse left in a grocery store parking lot—and although he expected nothing in return, hundreds of strangers have offered him a big reward.
Adrian Rodriquez found the green handbag in Ralph’s parking lot in Chula Vista, California, two weeks ago. Instead of bringing it inside the store, he decided to deliver it himself to the woman’s front door.
Although the owner, Eliana Martin, wasn’t there, the purse was left with the roommates, and the home’s surveillance video was later used to track down the high school graduate to show him some love.
“I looked into the Ring camera, and I was like, ‘Oh my God. He’s such a young kid’,” recalls Melina Marquez. “We need to find him and just give him a little piece of gratitude.”
She and Martin posted the striking image on social media, and found the young man who returned the bag, which contained $20 and a wallet full of credit cards.
“My mom always told me since I was little to always do the right thing when nobody’s around,” Adrian told NBC News. “I didn’t expect nothing back, honestly.”
“If someone found my stuff, I’d want them to bring it back to me,” said the humble youth.
But the good news didn’t stop there. Marquez organized a GoFundMe campaign as a way for friends and new admirers to reward Adrian’s honesty.
764 donors sent money that totaled over $17,000.
“Every parent right now hopes that their children grow up to be just like this young gentleman,” Marquez told 10News in the video below.
Watch the video from the 10News segment, Positively San Diego…
The good news here is that some do for others without expecting anything in return. Today’s JohnKu talks about the highest good done for others. I hope you have a super weekend.
“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.combefore 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.
Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”
The morning paper has an ad that is hard to ignore. The headline reads; Estate Sale Camelot Castle – Everything Must go.
Further down is a description of the items being offered. Reading the list makes attendance mandatory.
For sale: Large round table reportedly used for meetings and late-night dinners. A sword still in its original stone. Antique chairs, tapestries, beds, tables, and sideboards too numerous to mention and detail. Two crowns (One king-sized and one queen-sized) 12 suits of armor size 38 regular, (Some polishing needed), chainmail, Longbows, crossbows, broad swords, spears, lances, maces, daggers, and knives. Wagons, tumbrels, horse halters, saddles, and feed bags. Cauldrons, catapults, rocks. Antique goblets, tableware, pewter forks. Original candelabras, sconces, and torches. Complete magician’s kit including, hex instructions, hat, and powders.
Refreshments available for purchase, major credit cards honored, all sales final.
This was originally posted on July 3rd, 2017. Now that we are back to making trips, I think it might still be current.
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The inspiration for this list was my return from a ten-day trip. In case you wonder, I am entirely innocent of these incidents. Hope you enjoy it.
Top Ten Things Not to Do Returning From a Long Trip
10 If you are returning from a long trip, do not forget where you parked your car. If you do, at best, security will help you find it. At worst, you’ll have to catch a cab home, convincing your family that you need a physical intervention. (That brain MRI was a pleasant experience, right, Bosco?)
9 If you are returning from a long trip, do not argue with the parking attendant about the price of parking. If you do, at best, he will call the police. At worst, the attendant is Tiny, the WWF champ working nights to pay his fine for the last criminal assault charge. (Looks like you had better use your feet to avoid this one, Buford.)
8 If you are returning from a long trip, do not arrive in the middle of the night and expect a warm welcome. If you do, at best, you will be disappointed. At worst, your watchdog, which is especially protective, will confuse you with an intruder. (Good thing you have that tall tree in the front yard, huh? Putz.)
7 If you are returning from a long trip, do not think the hotel shampoo and conditioner bottles count as souvenirs. If you do, at best, the only one talking to you right now is you. At worst, you’ll have to find an alternative sleeping arrangement. (That couch is as lumpy as you thought, isn’t it, Buster?)
6 If you are returning from a long trip, do not dump your laundry on the floor and declare, “No rush.” If you do, at best, the pile will stay there forever. At worst, you may wonder why the Goodwill receipt is on your bureau. (On the plus side, you can deduct the donation, Ferd.)
5 If you are returning from a long trip, do not make comments at dinner about how good the food was on the trip. If you do, at best, you will be eating out for weeks. At worst, you will be invited to prepare the meals according to your taste. (That includes menu and shopping, Bunky.)
4 If you are returning from a long trip, do not think everyone you meet wants to hear about your experiences. If you do, at best, people will avoid you. At worst, you will have to listen to the experiences of others. (It really gets to you when their trip sounds better than yours, doesn’t it, Tex?)
3 If you are returning from a long trip, do not think everyone wants to hear you speak in the language of the place visited. If you do, at best, most will believe that you are affected. At worst, you will meet someone fluent in the language, and you’ll be stumped. (A little hard to keep up after hello, don’t you think, Pard?)
2 If you are returning from a long trip, don’t keep saying, ”It’s good to be home.” If you do, at best, people will think you had a lousy time. At worst, most will wonder why you left in the first place. (Of course, they may also see through your desire to answer the question, “Where have you been? Leroy.”)
1 If you are returning from a long trip, do not think you won’t have to resume helping out around the house. If you do, at best, you will get a gentle reminder. At worst, you may find your suitcase repacked and ready for another trip. (That one-way ticket is sobering, don’t you think, Cousin?)
The Producer was out scouting for some new views and discovered the Bee Cave sculpture park. I think you will find it as interesting as we did. We are being catered to today by Veracruz All Natural. Our entertainment is Sara Evans.
Menu
Quesadilla Choose: grilled steak, grilled chicken, al pastor, or veggie on flour or corn tortillas with Monterey Jack cheese. Served with guacamole, sour cream, pico de gallo
