Thursday – A Little Personal – Tempeste Shows Twiggy Agility

September 5, 2024September 4, 2024 ~ John W. Howell ~ 126 Comments

“Hey, Twiggy. I’ve been to an agility class. You want to see what I learned?”

“I would like that. I’ve never been.”

“Okay, so this thing is called a tire. I don’t know why, but it is.”

“So what do you do with it?”

“The idea is to jump through it.”

“Wow. You did that nicely.”

“They raise it up, so jumping through gets harder. Right now, it is perfect.”

“Are there other things to jump?”

“Oh yeah. There is a crossbar, and they also have these sticks you have to weave through. My favorite is the tunnel.”

“Sounds like work. I’ll meet you in the yard. The sun isn’t on the turf yet, so we can play.

“The panther sees movement in the tall grass.”

“The puma stays downwind and is ready to spring a trap.”

“The panther slowly stalks its prey. The sight of the puma’s pointy ears makes an easy target.”

“The puma regulates breathing to minimize movement .”

“The panther makes contact and wishes the puma a good day.”

“The puma returns the greeting and decides to make a confrontation some other day.

“The panther executes a sneak attack.”

“The puma readies razor-sharp teeth for a bite on the panther’s neck.”

“Have you ever noticed how my shadow looks like Batman?”

“Another score for attention deficit on the panther side.

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt – Communicate

September 3, 2024September 2, 2024 ~ John W. Howell ~ 54 Comments

Today, I randomly opened the book My GRL to page 241, and without looking, my finger landed closest to the word ‘communicate.’

“So what did you say?”

“I said that is no way to communicate.”

“What happened then?”

“He reached in his pocket and pulled out a little pad and pencil.”

“Then what?”

“He wrote out a note. Tore it out of the pad and handed it to me.”

“A note? He already threatened you with his fist and then wrote out a note? What did it say?”

“Put all the money in a bag, or you’ll get it.”

“Get what?”

“That’s what I asked.”

“And.”

“He looked at me for a minute and then scribbled another note.”

“I can’t wait. What did this one say?”

“It was a crude drawing of a gun with the word ‘this’ under it. I held it up in the air and said, ‘This?’ He nodded.”

“Then what?”

“The police came in and took him away.”

“Did they disarm him?”

“He didn’t have a gun. I did give them his drawing.”

“Imagine that?”

“I sort of felt sorry for him. Doesn’t seem like he knew what he was doing.”

“Wait a minute. He was robbing you.”

“Yeah, I know. I probably should have just given him some money and let him go. He looked desperate.”

“Now, you are sounding crazy.”

“At least he won’t be charged with armed robbery. A drawing of a gun is not a gun.”

“At least not yet.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do on Labor Day

September 2, 2024August 31, 2024 ~ John W. Howell ~ 60 Comments

This post ran first on Labor Day 2015 and every Labor Day after that. I thought it was pretty good advice, so here it is again.

***

In honor of Labor Day, I’ve decided to boil the top ten list down to the most essential items. Let’s all remember those who make our lives easier and more pleasant. Of course, the remembrance includes us authors.

Top Ten Things Not to Do on Labor Day

10 through 1

On Labor Day, have fun, but do not drink and drive. If you do, at best, you are a fool. At worst, you could hurt or kill an innocent person, not to mention your guilty self.

Happy Labor Day, all.

Views of the Neighborhood – Lakeway Art Show

September 1, 2024September 1, 2024 ~ John W. Howell ~ 88 Comments

Today, we are headed to the Lakeway Activity Center for the art show sponsored by the Lakeway Arts Committee. We are catered by Corinne Austin, and our entertainment is Justin Timberlake and Anna Kendrick

Kale & Apple Salad – Honey crisp apple, arugula, white Cheddar, honey pecans, market vinaigrette

Ahi Tuna Poke Salad – Romaine, Iceberg, snap peas, Fresno, ginger vinaigrette.

Spinach & Avocado Caesar Salad– Shaved Parmesan, Greek yogurt dressing, whole lemon vinaigrette

Chopped Romaine Hearts Salad: Rotisserie chicken, avocado, tomato, bacon, scallion, black beans, Bleu cheese, and Cobb dressing.

Brush Creek Wagyu Burger – Lettuce, white cheddar, tomato, onion, special sauce & shoestring fries

Chicken Club – Peppered bacon, lettuce, tomato, avocado, peppercorn aioli, brioche bun & shoestring fries

Toasted Grilled Cheese Sandwich – Aged white Cheddar, Havarti, Parmesan, arugula apple salad.

Our bus is back and is now equipped with a sauna. Let’s go.

The Activity Center.

Announcement poster.

A long view of one wall.

Popular succulent assortment.

Handmade ceramics.

Beautiful blues.

Our old friend Carol van Ginkel from the string art exhibition

Ceramic baked goods

A wide variety of art and a tasty cup of coffee.

Paintings on different media.

His work.

Unusual shapes and lovely pastel colors.

Modernism theme.

More.

I like the tablecloth color tie-in with the art.

It is now time for food, music, and relaxation. I hope you all have a beautiful week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – ‘School’

August 31, 2024August 30, 2024 ~ John W. Howell ~ 73 Comments

The essence of the gods slowly makes its way into my cup. Being old school, there is no reason to move or engage in mental activity without that first sip of Columbia’s second-most favorite export. The cup is full, and the first sip is consumed. Thoughts turn to the alarm clock. It is set for August 31, 1924, and the location is Coberg in Bavaria. The duration is for an hour. The puller plunger finds us in the town of Coburg.

It is here that Grand Duke Kirill Vladimirovich of Russia, a former officer of the Imperial Russian Navy, first cousin to the late Tsar Nicholas II of the Russian Empire, and grandson of Tsar Alexander II, proclaimed himself to be the Tsar of all the Russias as the closest living heir to the Tsar Nicholas who was murdered by the Soviets in 1918.

This announcement was made, and we know that Kirill sought to regain the monarchy but was unsuccessful until he died in 1938.

Just as the announcement was complete, our alarm takes us back to the trusty couch. A text from Linda Hill is waiting that reads: “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “school.” Use it as a noun or a verb; use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. https://lindaghill.com/2024/08/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-31-2024/

“So old Kirill spent some time trying to regain the throne?”

“Yup, and it never happened. He even promised to keep elements of the Soviet system.”

“Did he live in Germany till he died?”

“No, he bought a place in France and lived there.”

“This information is certainly obscure these days.”

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

“How come I never learned this in school?”

“Unless you were into Russian history, it isn’t something that commonly comes up.”

“I suppose it is like VooDoo Ranger.”

“Gee, three minutes till that subject came up. I give. How is VooDoo Ranger like Russian history?”

“Unless you have sampled it, you have no idea what you have.”

“Call Uber, for heaven’s sake.”

“Done. He’s right over there.”

“Wow, that looks like a 1951 Chevy dump truck.”

“With snow plow, I might add.”

“We have the old squeeze play in the front.”

“I wonder what riding in the dumper would be like.”

“You go right ahead. School me later.”

Thursday a Little Personal – Mourning Kizzy’s Passing

August 29, 2024August 28, 2024 ~ John W. Howell

Kizzy was suddenly called across the rainbow bridge on Tuesday. She was playing in her yard with a new toy when she collapsed and was gone. We are heartbroken and have no words at this time. She did have Cardiomyopathy, which occurs in her breed. Her age and general good health made this eventuality even more shocking.

Here are some photo reminders of Kizzy’s fun spirit and good times with Twiggy and Tempeste. I have closed comments today and will be back on Friday.

Kizzy near her gotcha day four years ago.

Christmas time for Twiggy and Kizzy.

Chillin’

Kizzy and Twiggy playing in the yard.

Tempeste offers to take Kizzy for a walk.

Happy times at Kizzy’s house.

Kizzy at home last Friday.

Rest in peace, sweet girl.

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt – “Answer”

August 27, 2024August 26, 2024 ~ John W. Howell ~ 47 Comments

Today, I randomly opened Eternal Road – The final stop to page 45 and, without looking, placed my finger on the page. The word closest to my finger is “answer.”

“Is that your final answer?”

“What do you mean, ‘final answer?'”

“I mean that you can’t change your mind once you commit.”

“Um, maybe I better think a little linger.”

“I haven’t got all day.”

“Okay, okay, I just need a second.”

“Time’s up.”

“I said a second, not a split second.”

“Very funny. Come on, is that your final answer.”

“Yes. For heaven’s sake. That is my final answer.”

“Well, congratulations. You have completed the test.”

“Test? What test?”

“The test to see if you have what it takes to be part of this great organization.”

“Part of? Wait a minute. All I did was come in here for lunch.”

“I know, and now you are one of us.”

“I just said yes to your question. I didn’t know there was any more to it than that.”

“Oh, cricket. The world is a wondrous place, and on every highway, important questions need answers. You did well.”

“I’m sure I don’t understand what you just said, nor will I understand it.”

“It doesn’t matter. You said yes, and that’s all that counts.”

“I still don’t understand the importance of the question, ‘Do you want fries with that?’ I will just trust that my sandwich will be ready soon.”

“Life is more than a sandwich, cricket. I pray you see that one day. That’ll be eight fifty.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at a Renaissance Faire

August 26, 2024August 25, 2024 ~ John W. Howell ~ 73 Comments

This post ran on July 30, 2018. I’m not sure how many of you have attended a Renaissance Faire, but if you do go, here is some advice.

* * *

The inspiration for this list was a question by the producer. “Have you done a Top Ten on a Renaissance Faire?” The answer was “No.” So here it is. (I know pretty simple inspiration, isn’t it?)

10 If you attend a Renaissance Faire, do not raise your hand when the wizard asks for volunteers. If you do, at best, you might get embarrassed. At worst, the trick will go horribly wrong, and you’ll be sporting some Hellboy horns. (I think that stray goat gave a The Fly-like result, Emest. Don’t worry. Maybe the wizard can reverse the spell. Yeah, maybe.)

9 If you attend a Renaissance Faire, do not boo Tiny, the WWF champ, when he walks onto the jousting field. If you do, at best, he will have lost you in the crowd. At worst, Tiny, who has been attending court-ordered anger management classes, will accidentally let go of his mace as he nears the spectator stand. (You can place money on where that mace will land, Emmanuele. No, that umbrella won’t help at all.)

8 If you attend a Renaissance Faire, do not accept the invitation to put your head and wrists into the stocks. If you do, at best, you’ll get a humorous photo. At worst, the guy running the stock exhibit forgot the keys, and now you have an afternoon of ridicule. ( It will be fun, he said. How much fun is it, Enar? Oh, that tomato wasn’t quite ripe, was it?)

7 If you attend a Renaissance Faire, do not think Three Card Monty is an easy way to pick up spending money. If you do, at best, you may only lose a few dollars. At worst, you and the dealer must come to an equitable arrangement to cover that last bet. (I don’t think he will take a check, Engel.)

6 If you attend a Renaissance Faire, do not accept an invitation to attend the after-hours cast party. If you do, at best, you’ll need to leave early to take the babysitter home. At worst, you’ll be singing “Moma Told Me Not to Come” while trying to find the door out. (Whoever coined the term “hangover,” Enyeto. How you feel is more like “life over.”)

5 If you attend a Renaissance Faire, do not join the music makers on stage if you are overserved. If you do, at best, no one you know will see your performance. At worst, the videos the audience took when you fell off the stage all went viral. (Hard to explain to your boss what you were thinking huh, Ephrem. He believes the head of HR should set a better example.)

4 If you attend a Renaissance Faire, do not throw your consumed turkey leg over your shoulder as a supposed imitation of Henry VIII. If you do, at best, by chance it will hit a trash receptacle. At worst, you will catch someone’s grandma in the face with your trash. (That someone just happens to be the big guy wearing the barbarian outfit now holding you off your feet, Erikson. He’s not buying the accident story, and his club looks pretty substantial.)

3 If you attend a Renaissance Faire, do not wear period armor. If you do, at best, the day will be overcast. At worst, the temperature just hit a new record high. (Now you know what it is like to be in a sweatbox, Erroll. That authentic clasp on the back is just out of reach, and everyone you ask to unhook thinks you’re a perve.)

2 If you attend a Renaissance Faire, do not get carried away with the thought of quitting work and joining the cast. If you do, at best, your audition will fail. At worst, you will be picked to play the blacksmith. (That hot furnace and pounding metal all day wasn’t what you had in mind; was it Eryk? Too bad you signed a seasonal agreement, and you only have six more months to serve. You found out too late that no one likes to play the blacksmith.)

1 If you attend a Renaissance Faire, do not think you have to talk to everyone in Renaissance English. If you do, at best, no one will understand you. At worst, a large cast member will think you are making fun of his speech. (It might be a good idea to find a flagon of mead right now, Eskander. Better yet, two flagons. One to share with the guy holding your neck.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Lakeway Petting Zoo.

August 25, 2024August 24, 2024 ~ John W. Howell ~ 86 Comments

Today, we are visiting the petting zoo at Lakeway City Hall. We will also see a new method of grass and weed control employed by the City using goats. Corner Restaurant of Austin is catered for us, and Julie Felix is our entertainment.

Avocado Toast – cilantro, rustic bread, spicy seeds

Cinnamon Sugar French Toast Fritters – caramel apple, whipped cream, candied pepitas

Smoked Salmon Toast – caper whipped cream cheese, pickled onion, arugula, rustic bread

Greek Yogurt Parfait – grapefruit curd, almond granola, vanilla bean, fresh berries

Steel Cut Oats– almonds, dried fruit, caramel apple

All American – scrambled eggs, crispy breakfast potatoes, bacon or pork sausage, sourdough toast

Chipotle Pork Chilaquiles – ranchero sauce, chunky pico de gallo, over easy egg, cotija, tortilla chip

Thick-Cut Bacon & Eggs Benny – oven-roasted tomato, grilled asparagus, classic hollandaise

Rise N Shine Burrito – scrambled eggs, chorizo, bacon, tomato, salsa, queso, crispy potato

Prime Steak And Eggs – flat iron, chimichurri, pickled onion, crispy potatoes, over easy egg

Chorizo & Egg Taco – egg, chorizo, bacon, pepper jack cheese, guacamole, pico de gallo

Egg White Omelet – spinach, mushroom, sun-dried tomato, feta, salsa roja, crispy breakfast potatoes, sourdough.

There’s the bus. Let’s go. You might have to double up on the seats.

There’s the sign. We are close.

A livestock trailer means we are really close now.

Goats and sheep.

Pigmy goats to the right

A pony and a donkey.

Four baby pigs.

The children are arriving.

Refreshment tents.

Games and ice-cold drinks.

Tables for relaxing.

Craigo’s pizza.

Shave ice.

The event is sponsored by the Lakeway Parks and Recreation. Behind the table, you can see a fence that will keep the soon-to-be-released goats busy in the underbrush and not tempted to wander off.

Take a closer look at the fencing put up to contain the goats. Yes, the goats are rented, and the fence is electric. The goats know all about it and avoid it.

The goats just released into the underbrush.

Here is a photo released by the City, giving you a clear view of the goats at work.

That concludes our tour. It is now time to relax with the food and enjoy the music. I hope you have a super week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Hap.”

August 24, 2024August 23, 2024 ~ John W. Howell ~ 89 Comments

Happiness is a strong cup of coffee to get the blood moving and the brain in gear. Thank you to my magic potion machine for delivering a cup of the hot steaming stuff with no delay. The functioning brain meant reaching for the clock would not be wasted. The clock is set for August 23, 1924 and the location is St Louis, Missouri. We arrive to pick up the story from the St Louis Dispatch in an article written by Roland Thomas.

He writes that the planets Mars and Earth were the closest today than they had been since August 18, 1845, and the closest since high-power telescopes had been constructed, coming within 34,630,000 miles (55,730,000 km). We know from experience that Mars and Earth would not be this close again until August 28, 2003.

As stories of men on Mars attacking the Earth are rumored, our alarm goes off, and we land safely on the couch. A text from Linda Hill comes through. It reads:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “hap.’” Find a word that starts with “hap” and use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda Hill’s post. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2024/08/23/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-24-2024/

“Pretty exciting stuff.”

“Back then, it was.”

“When will it happen that Mars will be closest again?”

“Not till 2035.”

“Wow, that is a long wait.”

“Yeah, if you missed it in 2003, it sure is.”

“You going to watch it?”

“Humm. Maybe. I’ll be 94 then.”

“Oh, come on. With your VooDoo Ranger as support, there’s no contest.”

“I suppose you would call it the fountain of youth.”