Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Battle of the Alamo

August 27, 2018August 26, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 80 Comments

The inspiration for this list is the idea of matching Ten Things Not to Do with historical events. I hope you enjoy this one.

10 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not think offering margaritas all around is going to help anything. If you do, at best everyone will be too busy to take you up on the offer. At worst only the best shooters on your side decided to have a couple and now can’t hit the broad side of a barn. (I guess you were hoping the Mexicans would be in a similar shape huh, Fritz?)

9 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not ask Tiny the WWF champ if you can borrow his gun. If you do, at best he’ll just say no. At worst, since he extremely nearsighted he may mistake you for a Mexican soldier and give you a body slam over the wall. (It only hurts getting up, Felco so I would just lay there.)

8 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not walk around eating a bean burrito. If you do, at best you will have to share. At worst, from far away a sharpshooter may mistake you for a Mexican Federal soldier. ( I know you were hungry, Freddie, but the food of the day is hardtack and salt pork. Tortillas are the other side food of the day.)

7 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not wear your Santa Anna Sucks t-shirt. If you do, at best no one will notice. At worst, Santa Anna will want it as a souvenir. ( I think you heard him right, Faris. He said he didn’t care if it was bloodstained or not. Just give it to him.)

6 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not ask Davy Crockett for an autograph. If you do, at best he’ll just laugh. At worst, he’ll give you a lesson in flying. (You could flap your arms harder, Farid but I think you are going to hit the ground pretty hard. That wall is quite high.)

5 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not tell someone you know all about cannons if you don’t. If you do, at best you won’t be asked to fill in on one. At worst, you’ll be put in charge of the only cannon that guards the entrance. (Now what did the manual say, Fabumi? Load the ball then light the fuse? Or was it the other way around? You better hurry looks like those doors won’t last another minute.)

4 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not think it is time to start Spanish lessons. If you do, at best you may learn a few words. At worst, whether or not you speak Spanish will not help you in the end. (It looks like the order of the day is take no prisoners, Fadeyka. I think it’s going to take a little more than a few “holas” and “Buenos Dias” to save you.)

3 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not think that sombrero and serape will be an effective disguise. If you do, at best no one will laugh at you. At worst the troops will consider you a spy. (You know what they do to spies, Fallon. Dump that outfit now.)

2 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not wave that “Come and Take It” cannon flag from the Battle of Gonzales. If you do, at best you will make the Mexicans angry. At worst, you will be singled out for elimination. (That flag has been a sore spot since the Texas revolution began, Falk. No need to start that fire again.)

1 If you are caught at the battle of the Alamo, do not make plans for your summer holiday. If you do, at best your heirs will have to cancel. At worst, you may lose some of your deposits. (I guess no one told you that getting out of the Alamo was a feet-first proposition huh, Farnley?)

Views of the Neighborhood – Twiggy Speaks

August 26, 2018August 25, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 84 Comments

“Hi everyone. My name’s Twiggy. I just am taking a short break from playing in the dirt. Lucy kind of forced me to come out here and let you know that Dad will not be posting a Views of the Neighborhood. See he has this walker thingy and no approval from the doctor to be out snapping photos. So the Producer suggests he wait until he gets the authorization. What Lucy? Oh Yeah. He’s fine and healing nicely. So Hopefully next week there will be a Views and if not maybe the next time. If not— Okay Lucy wants me to say have a good week. Goodby.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Notice

August 25, 2018August 24, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 79 Comments

It is Stream Of Consciousness Saturday time again and this week’s prompt is, “notice.” Linda Hill says we can use “notice,” any way we want. If you would like to join in on the fun visit Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/08/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-25-18/

“Would you look at this?”

“What?”

“This notice in the newspaper.”

“Let me see it.”

“Read that part about more taxes.”

“OMG. The county is raising the tax rate. Can they do that?”

“Yes, if they publish a notice they can.”

“Well, this looks like a notice to me. How about if we just ignore it.”

“Ignore it? Then what?”

“When it comes time to pay the taxes we’ll just say we never got the notice.”

“Doesn’t work that way.”

“Why not?”

“They posted a notice. Nowhere in the statutes does it say anyone has to read the notice.”

“That’s taxation without retnalization.”

“Without what?”

“Retnalization. Without making sure the eye sees the notice.”

“You been reading lawyer fiction again?”

“No, but it has to be a thing.”

“Good luck with the tax bill. As for me, I’m going to pay mine.”

“Well, I’m going to fight to my last fiber against unfair taxation.”

“It is a one mill increase.”

“One million? Outrageous. Get a gun.”

“A mill is one one-hundredth of a cent. It is almost not enough to count.”

“One one-hundredth? Hmm. That means my bill goes up by a dollar.”

“I’m not good at math, but it sounds right.”

“That’s different.”

“it is?”

“Not worth my time to fight.”

“What about the principle?”

“Principles are overrated. Let’s get some coffee.”

“No gun?”

“Please.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF and a Guest Interview at Janice Spina’s

August 24, 2018August 23, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

Today I am very pleased to be featured in an interview on Janice Spina’s blog. As you know, Janice is an award-winning author, reviewer, editor, and blogger. Go here for the interview and stay a little while to get an idea of all of Janice’s talents.

Also,

Friday is here and seems like a century since last week’s post. I guess that is life when you only do PT for ten hours a day. I have two home health care specialists who visit to monitor my progress. The physical therapist comes every day and the nurse twice a week.

I’m pleased to say the exercises although painful are producing results. To describe what is needed, think laying on your back and pulling your foot across the surface until your heel touches your butt. At that point, your leg is bent about 130 degrees. Today I am at 120 degrees which is darned good at this stage. Like every good Type A, I want to get to 130 degrees before my follow-up appointment on the 28th. Why? Because I think the doctor will lift restrictions and I can go back to riding my bike again. It has only been twelve days since the operation but one can hope.

Today’s JohnKu talks about a winning mindset. Have a good weekend

Everyone can win,

No matter how hard the goal . . .

If desire is high.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Lucy Speaks

August 23, 2018August 22, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 80 Comments

“Hello everyone. My name is Lucy and I have been selected by the canine team here at Fiction Favorites to come out before you. My purpose today is to let you know the boss is doing fine, but can’t crawl around with us capturing our latest activity. Since he feels the material should be current, he hopes you understand the lack of a post. Thank you and we’ll be back soon. Yes, Twiggy and Bailey are fine even though they are chickens when it comes to making announcements.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

August 22, 2018August 21, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 52 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again last time we went through an exercise with Larry and Andrew on how easy it was to remember something that was written down. (Not) We finally got to the point to learn that Andrew wrote stuff down on the Sandusky autopsy that he can’t remember and thinks it will be significant enough to try to get the deleted file restored. I see the head of IT is entering Larry’s office. Maybe he has some news.

“Hey, Larry. Andrew.”

“Hi, Paul. You have news?”

“I do. I spent the last couple of hours rummaging through the backup tape files and came across this tape.”

“Let me see that.”

“Help yourself, but there is nothing to see, Larry.”

“Yeah, okay. What is it then?”

“It is the backup tape used during the period of time when Andrew here was doing the autopsy on Sandusky.”

“You sure?”

“Well, yeah I’m sure. The dates on the box are a range, and the Sandusky autopsy falls right in there.”

“Oh great. What do we do now?”

“I’ve already checked the tape it is in perfect condition. We now need to get a reader.”

“How come we don’t have one ourselves.”

“Too expensive to keep around especially since this is the first time in ten years we have wanted to read a backup tape.”

“Okay, I get that. Who has a reader?”

“Our back up supplier has a reader we can use. In fact, I’m going there now to get this file read and printed.”

“Okay then. Don’t let us get in your way.”

“I’ll come right back after I get the file.”

“Thanks, Paul. We both would appreciate that. You need a ride or anything?”

“No, I’m good. Here is a neat little deli on the ground floor of the supplier’s office that is calling me for lunch.”

“See you soon.”

“Say what you want, Larry. Thant guy seems to know what he’s doing.”

“Hold on Andrew. Let’s make sure he’s gone. Yup, he’s gone for sure.”

“I was just saying I think he knows his stuff.”

“I agree. Let’s hope he can get that file back.”

“I have a deli on the brain.”

“Let’s go. I’ll buy.”

“Sweet words indeed.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #188 by Keith Channing

August 21, 2018August 20, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 58 Comments

Feeling better so I thought I would ease in with a prompt from Keith Channing. In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo

“Okay, that’s it. This shovel marks the line of demarcation.”

“Demarcation? What the heck are you talking about?”

“I’ve had it with your yellow plastic. I’ve had it with your empire building.”

“Reggie, what’s come over you? We have a job to do.”

“Maybe you have a job to do, but I am now throwing off the yoke of oppression and declaring this land to be free of big business and big pharma.”

“I think I’m beginning to see the problem. You stopped taking your medication didn’t you?”

“That has nothing o do with it. This land is my land and from now on it shall be called, Borkville.”

“For heaven’s sake. Let’s get back to work. The owner wants a garden here, and it is up to us to build one.”

“In Borkville this will be the common house. We will all live here in harmony.”

“Reggie. Tell me one thing.”

“What?”

“You’ve been watching the History Channel, right?”

“Yeah so?”

“And you are at the part where Columbus discovers America, right?”

“Well yeah.”

“And he plants the flag of Spain and claims all the land in the name of Queen Isabella?”

“Yeah, so cool.”

“Guess what?”

“What?”

“Never happened.”

“Huh?”

“Fake news.”

“Fake news?”

“America was discovered by the McDonald brothers.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup. They needed a place to expand their hamburger business, so they went there.”

“Seriously?”

“So you can stop your little charade about claiming land. It just doesn’t happen.”

“This is disappointing, to say the least. I feel so mislead. One question.”

“Yes.”

“Do you think the McDonald Brothers would mind if I claimed this land in their name?”

“Well, that depends.”

“On what?”

“On whether or not Harrods grants them permission to accept. Back to work shall we?”

Friday – JohnKu – AKA – TGIF and Update

August 17, 2018August 16, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 112 Comments

Well, it is Friday, and usually, I give Y’all some kind of update on whats going on. I will be very brief but think you should know how the surgery went. I had a small hiccup last Friday in that my Cardiologist didn’t like what he was seeing on the EKG done by the preop internist. He wanted to do one himself. This meant we had to drive to San Antonio (158 miles) Monday morning leaving the house at 7:30. Long story short we made the appointment and the EKG was excellent. We actually had some time left over to go to Costco thus eliminating a second trip.

I checked into the hospital and by 4:00 I am the proud owner of a new knee. I never asked what kind of knee so when people ask I say, “Stromberg 97.” For those in the know, that s the name of a carburetor popular in the late 50s. (yes, we are talking hot rod and mine had two under the hood. I was raised in Detroit after all.)

I came home yesterday after two nights and am now doing physical therapy at home with a tech who arrives each day. I am restricted on activities until the follow-up appointment with the surgeon on August 28th. The treatment takes about ten hours a day so you can imagine there isn’t much time. I’m writing this with my leg elevated and knee surrounded by ice packs. That is about the only free time there is.

As you can see (I hope) I am visiting your posts. I don’t intend to pick mine back up just yet. I have lovely medication, but it does leave me a little slow on the creative side.

So today’s JohnKu celebrates the skill and knowledge of those folks who cared for me and the concern you have expressed throughout the week. Thank you, and I hope you have a great weekend.

A wish by John W.Howell

That is all it takes,

One wish expressed from the heart. . .

Alleviates fear.

Top Ten Things Not To Do During the French Revolution

August 13, 2018August 12, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 66 Comments

The inspiration for this list was a suggestion by Maria KethuProfumo that perhaps I could do some historical Top Ten Things Not to Do. I asked Y’all if you would enjoy such a fantasy trip and the majority said, “Yes.” So here is the first edition. Thank you, Maria, and I hope you get some visits to your beautiful blog.

The Top Ten Things Not to Do During the French Revolution

10 If you were in France during the revolution, do not wear your best clothes while walking on the street. If you do, at best you will be suspected of being a monarch supporter. At worst, you will be arrested, tried, convicted, and face the guillotine. (You have to admit it, Frank. These folks have no patience with cleanliness or fine clothes. Get ready for a really close shave.)

9 If you were in France during the revolution, do not accept a ride on a two-wheel wagon driven by Tiny the Revolutionary champ who just got an award for loyalty. If you do, at best you sneak off before you reach the plaza. At worst, you have a difficult time trying to convince Tiny that you are not part of the monarchy and are now trussed up like a turkey. (Those wagons are for transporting prisoners to the guillotine, Felix. What were you thinking?)

8 If you were in France during the revolution, do not wear your “I Love Louis XVI” pin. If you do, at best most folks will think you are joking. At worst, a mob of villagers will ensure you are no longer a threat to the revolution. (What do all these people want, Fredrick. Why do they continue to yell “Off with his head?” This is not Wonderland.)

7 If you were in France during the revolution, do not take the tour of the Bastille even if you paid in advance. If you do, at best the tour will be quick, and you’ll be out before the storming. At worst, you will be mistaken for a defender of the Bastille by the storming crowds. (I would try to remember how to use that saber, Flynn. You are not going to convince that crowd that you are a tourist.)

6 If you were in France during the revolution, do not forget to wear your Liberté, égalité, fraternité T-shirt whenever you go outside. If you do forget, at best you’ll still look like a peasant. At worst, your judgemental air will get you into court. (There doesn’t seem to be a whole bunch of innocent until proven guilty thought around this place huh, Fabio. Next stop the ultimate haircut.)

5 If you were in France during the revolution, do not wear your “I’m With Robespierre,” shirt past the expiration date. If you do, at best you’ll be reminded that he is now thought of as a traitor. At worst, you and Robespierre will become fast friends before the blade falls. ( You gotta know when to hold em and when to fold em, Federico. Don’t be a fool let Robespierre go first. Who knows a miracle could happen.”)

4 If you were in France during the revolution, do not tell folks that you really prefer cake. If you do, at best you might be looked upon as a fool. At worst, those you talk to might think you are a supporter of Marie Antoinette. ( you know exactly where this is going to lead don’t you, Finlay?)

3 If you were in France during the revolution, do not continue to joke about wanting a Napoleon for dessert. If you do, at best you might need a steak for that black eye. At worst, you might need a priest for that long walk to the guillotine. (When no one laughed the tenth time you might have gotten the hint, Finian.)

2 If you were in France during the revolution, do not continue to tell everyone how beautiful you think the Palace of Versailles is in the sunlight. If you do, at best they will be too busy to take you seriously. At worst, you and one hundred of your closest Versaille resident friends will be marched into Paris. (Another trial, Finian. This is getting tiring. The good news is this is tip the executioner free day at the guillotine.)

1 If you were in France during the revolution, do not assume the flag you are flying is that of the revolutionists. If you do, at best you picked right. At worst, your three gold fleur-de-lis on white background although beautiful will attract bullets. (Never believe a guy on the street who sold it to you, Fitz. Now you need to take cover.)

As a reminder, this is my last post until I recover from surgery.

Views of the Neighborhood – Golf Carts

August 12, 2018August 11, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 64 Comments

This week I thought I would go out and see how the golf cart business is doing. Mid-week I went to Bron’s Beach Carts to take a photo of the lot. I did this so that I could come back on Saturday and take another shot. A lot filled on Wednesday and empty on Saturday means tourists are here. I know not very scientific but better than nothing.

Her is a far away shot of Brons. You can see some carts in the lot.

A closer look at the entrance. Looks like a guy has been waiting quite a while for public transportation.

Here is another shot of the lot. That sign advertises drinks to go. You can get frozen drinks in giant economy sizes.

Here is a shot of the entertainment area. Bron’s has live entertainment weekly. Also, they have a late night bonfire. Coupled with those frozen drinks can you spell fun?