The inspiration for this list has been a number of discussions held with contractors lately. Hope you like it.
10 Do not say to a contractor, “I’m in no rush.” If you do, at best the job will take longer than you could conceive. At worst, you’ll be on the bottom of the list of clients and your job might get done before you retire. (The fact that you are only forty is not comforting, Desmond.)
9 Do not say to a contractor, “I want your best price.” If you do, at best the bid will only be ten percent more than it would have been. At worst, your bid will come out somewhere North of what you expected to pay to rebuild the house let alone do repairs. (Hang on to that defibrillator, Dalton. You may need it when the actual bill is presented given all the change orders.)
8 Do not say to a contractor, “I have another bid to compare with yours.” If you do, at best you will actually get his bid. At worst, you will wait for a bid that will never come since the contractor figured you would take the other one anyway. (That strategy didn’t work well did it, Darren?)
7 Do not say to a contractor, “I really don’t know what I want.” If you do at best, it will cost plenty to find out. At worst, you may spend a lot of money and finally know what you don’t want. (That is sure an ugly addition don’t you think, Dustin?)
6 Do not say to a contractor, “Do what you think is best.” If you do, at best what is best for the contractor is best for you. At worst, what is best for the contractor is to send his child to college on the proceeds from your job. (Should have asked more questions, Davis.)
5 Do not say to a contractor, “I don’t mind a little dust.” If you do, at best your vacuum will keep up. At worst, you’ll find yourself in the ER with advanced symptoms of asthma. (You should have known when all the workers were wearing respirators, Deacon.)
4 Do not say to a contractor, “We get up early.” If you do, at best early is eight o’clock to the contractor. At worst, first light will bring you the wake-up sound of a skill saw in the next room. (Establishing the work hours might have been wise, Dwayne.)
3 Do not say to a contractor, “We can do without water for as long as it takes to fix.” If you do, at best the fix will be quick. At worst, the water will be shut off on Friday at three in the afternoon and the job is finished that next Monday at nine o’clock AM. (A nice long weekend without water for a three-hour repair is not a bad trade-off, right Darrell?)
2 Do not say to a contractor, “Help yourself to soft drinks and water.” If you do, at best there will be use only when needed. At worst, you didn’t realize that the contractor’s city-wide crew numbered thirty and you were out of liquid by noon. (Should have set a limit huh, Devan?)
1 Do not say to a contractor, “Sure you can come back later and finish that little job.” If you do, at best you’ve held back some money and it does get done. At worst, you paid the whole bill and it has been three months without a return phone call. (Good luck with that little job. Maybe you can hire another contractor to do it, Duane.”
