Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

November 8, 2017November 6, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 53 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again and last week we left the lawyer McDonnell and the private detective where the detective made the claim he could clear Lucas from the murder of his parents. Needless to say, McDonnell was taken back as most of us were as well. Unfortunately, we need to leave McDonnell and the detective alone for a minute because I’m seeing Alice almost running up Harriet’s front porch steps. It looks like she wants to talk to Harriet about something important. Let’s get over there. Oh, Dan. We’ll get back to the lawyer and detective after this little side trip.

“Harriet are you out of your mind?”
“Come in Alice. What has you fired up today?”
“You hired that lawyer for Lucas?”
“Yes, of course, I did. I told you and Seth about that a while ago. What’s the problem?”
“He hired some private eye who has been snooping around in Kenosha.”
“Here sit down. Would you like some tea?”
“No, I don’t want any tea. I want to hear again why you hired that lawyer.’
“I think he will clear Lucas’ name is why.”
“Why are you so all-fired interested in what happens to Lucas. He is a dumb assed kid.”
“Yeah and one you wanted to strip bare and have your way with him.”
“Oh please. Let’s not get carried away. I was just playing with him. I love to see little boys get excited over little old me.”
“You are a sick unit, Alice. That kid could no more handle you than he could a bucking bull.”
“Speak for yourself, Harriet. Now let’s get back to you funding Lucas’ defense.”
“I feel sorry for him is all.”
“You know, that detective is going to turn up some dirt on you and I don’t you?”
“Oh, so what. A couple of lesbian hags. Who will care.”
“I’m not talking about our sex life. I’m talking about that night in Kenosha.”
“What night?”
“The night you and I went to the Severides.”
“Nobody knows about that, Alice except you and I.”
“And if you tell anyone, Harriet?”
“I won’t say a word. I can’t be sure about you though.”
“Sure you can. I love you. We don’t know if we were seen that’s all I’m saying. It appears everyone in Kenosha has some information on what went on that night. I would fire that lawyer.”
“What kind of message would that send. It would raise all kinds of suspicions.”
“At least he would be off the case.”
“Have some tea, Alice. Let me think for a minute.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #147 by Keith Channing

November 7, 2017November 6, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 35 Comments

Keith’s words “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keith@channing.info before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.

The photo.

“So there I was standing on the bow of that great ship.”

“How did you get on the ship?”

“I was a member of the crew. May I continue?”

“Yes, by all means.”

“As I said I was standing on the bow looking off to the sea.”

“Where was the ship going?”

“It was headed for America. We were doing fourteen knots, and the air was so cold I could see my breath.”

“I’ve never seen my breath. What did it look like?”

“It was like a cloud or smoke from a hookah. All of a sudden this large chunk of ice appeared out of nowhere, and we crashed into it. I was thrown to the deck and covered with chunks as we passed.”

“How did you survive?”

“I got out from under the ice and ran to the bridge. It was warm inside. The captain was frantic. He asked me if I saw anything. I told him we hit some ice. That was the last time I talked to him.”

“Why didn’t you talk to him?”

“He was busy, and I had my duties to attend to.”

“What duties?”

“I was assigned to pilot a lifeboat which I did.”

“It is a wonder you survived.”

“Yes, most did not. That is why we are building this boat here in the desert. It is to be a memorial to those who perished.”

“There is no water for hundreds of miles.”

“It doesn’t matter. They will know.”

“Who will know?”

“The lost souls. The ones I couldn’t save. They will know my sorrow.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do in an Apartment

November 6, 2017November 5, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 63 Comments

The inspiration for this list came as were spending some hurricane evacuation time in an apartment. I hope you enjoy it.

10 If you are in an apartment, do not drop your weights like the bozos at the gym. If you do, at best the manager will visit At worst, that last set of one hundred pounds ended with the repair bill for both your floor and the ceiling below you. (That drop was pretty expensive huh, Christopher. Lucky there was no one in the recliner down there.)

9 If you are in an apartment, do not think your wailing guitar is appreciated by everyone at two in the morning. If you do, at best the police will only give you a warning. At worst, you’ll get a visit from Tiny the WWF champ who was just released from the sleep disorder clinic, and this was the first night he actually fell asleep. (Notice how that locked door came off the hinges, Cameron? I’d like you to meet Tiny the big guy that looks like a freight train, and he’s headed your way.)

8 If you are in an apartment, do not rent the bottom floor unit. If you do, at best you may get used to the noise above. At worst, you’ll finally crack and will go door pounding in the middle of the night. (Those people have every right to be afraid, Connor. Might have been a good idea to check in the mirror before doing your Shining, “Daddy’s home,” imitation.)

7 If you are in an apartment, do not cook your favorite boiled cabbage recipe except on St. Patrick’s Day. If you do, at best your neighbors will wish for your death. At worst, the super will call in the exterminator believing your apartment is the scene of many pests. (Be careful opening that door, Cody. That cloud left by the bug bomb explosion might take you out as well.)

6 If you live in an apartment, do not forget to lock your door. If you do, at best no one will notice. At worst, you’ll come home to a place that looks like you never lived there. (You have to wonder how a thief could take four rooms of furniture with no one noticing don’t you, Carter?)

5 If you live in an apartment, do not throw a party unless you invite the neighbors on either side as well as above and below. If you do, at best you might be annoyed by all the floor and ceiling pounding. At worst, you better hope everyone at the party is legal because the SWAT team coming up the stairs will sure want to check. (You had no idea the Jackson Twins were under twenty-one did you, Chris. Well, it’s not going to matter that they weren’t known or invited by you and no one else either.)

4 If you live in an apartment, do not think the barbecue grill will be available when you want to use it. If you do, at best you’ll have to wait your turn. At worst your choice will come down to eating at midnight or a pan-fried steak. (What is it about that Teflon flavor in a great cut of meat that adds so much to the elegance of the meal, Charlie.)

3 If you live in an apartment, do not think everyone follows the shower before entering the pool rule. If you do, at best you might be surprised by the ring. At worst, you may be caught unaware of the unofficial rule which is, “Do not put your head under water.” (Had a bunch of unexplained sore throats lately huh, Calvin?)

2 If you live in an apartment, do not ignore the trash pickup rules. If you do, at best you will only have to be taught once. At worst, the pickup service will no longer stop at your door and trying to put your trash next door will earn you a potential black eye. (That guy sure got mad when he stepped on your paper bag full of garbage didn’t he, Cory? How is that eye by the way?)

1 If you live in an apartment, do not pick up and shake other people’s packages which are outside their door. If you do, at best you’ll never get caught. At worst, you just shook a package as the door of the recipient opened.(The bad part was it was a gift six Baccarat champagne flutes which are now dust, Clark. I don’t think saying, “Oh I think this is yours, my mistake,” is going to cover this one up.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Oil Spill

November 5, 2017November 4, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 41 Comments

When it rains it pours they say. On October 19th a barge filled with crude oil had an explosion three miles off the Port Aransas coast. The picture above was taken by the Coast Guard. Before the fire and resultant leakage of oil were contained approximately 2000 barrels out of the 133,000 barrels on board leaked into the gulf. So three weeks after Hhurricane Harvey we also were challenged with oil on the beach. Sadly two of the eight crew members went missing, and only one body has been found. I did not report this sooner as there were other positive things to see in Port Aransas. My reason for publishing it now is the Texas Land and Cattle company responded quickly and got most of the oil picked up in a matter of days, so it ended quite well. Few sea creatures and birds were affected as well.

Here is a long-range shot of clean up crews working the beach.

It is interesting the way they draw circles around the oil and then shovel and rake it up.

The oil goes into plastic bags, This crew is working South.

A view to the North shows another crew working their way South as well.

A crew member picking up bags.

A view to the South again. The oil rides on the tide, and you can see in this shot the tide is high, so the oil is high on the beach.

This photo was taken yesterday, and you can see quarter-sized chunks of oil now solidified into tar.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “shortcut/cut short.”

November 4, 2017November 3, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 20 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This week’s prompt is “shortcut/cut short.” Linda hill says we can use them anyway we want. If you would like to join in go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/11/03/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-417/

“I’m taking a shortcut through the strawberry patch.”

“Why are you doing that?”

“I want to see what it is like to take a strawberry shortcut.”

“Man, you come up with the dumbest things. Enough of this, I need to cut short the chit-chat.”

“In a rush are we?”

“Yes. I have to go downtown and speak with the tax appraiser.”

“Uh oh. That sounds ominous.”

“Not so bad. I need to ask them for a reappraisal of my house.”

“They will do that?”

“Yes. If you have a change of circumstance they will.”

“So what change of circumstance did you have?”

“You are kidding right?”

“What?”

“You were the one who decided to cut short your vacation and stay at my house instead.”

“Yes, I did.”

“And you were the one who wanted to take a shortcut and put the roast in the microwave.”

“Well, it was a good idea for reducing cooking time.”

“You also recall that the microwave caught on fire.”

“Well, I didn’t know that was going to happen.”

“What shortcut did you take with the fire?”

“Pan of water.”

“Which caused the grease to spatter and catch the island on fire.”

“Yeah, that water didn’t work too well.”

“The who decided to cut short his visit?”

“Uh. Me.”

“Correct. Meanwhile the kitchen is in flames.”

“I couldn’t do anything anyway.”

“Which spread to the upstairs.”

“That was one shortcut I didn’t expect.”

“Finally to the roof.”

“Time to cut short the description. I get it.”

“Get what?”

“Your house burned down and now you need a reappraisal.”

“Thanks to whom?”

“The change of circumstance.”

“Start running. Now.”

“Time for the shortcut.”

Friday John Ku – AKA – TGIF

November 3, 2017November 2, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

Friday is here and it sure feels good. I’m sure we all could use a little break from the work week. Of course, for those of you who tend to write on the weekends there isn’t a break in work but hopefully a break in routine.

I tend to keep going on the weekends as if there is no day off. I do manage to take a few liberties like a nice IPA on Saturday and some cooking time which I love. For the most part, though, I stick to my 1000 words a day writing schedule.

I still like to see Friday arrive. It has a psychological benefit that may mean reaching the finish line for the week. This week’s John Ku explores this concept a little further. I hope you all have a super weekend.

The beginning step,

Has importance at the front. . .

The finish is sweet.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Stella Time

November 2, 2017November 1, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 52 Comments

“Hi, John.”

“Well, Hi, Stella. What you up to today?”

“Nothing much. I just wanted to check and see what you were doing.”

“I’m putting a finishing touch on a story for tomorrow.”

“Isn’t tomorrow the Thursday post, A Little personal?”

“It sure is.”

“Doing a feature on the canines?”

“No. It is all about you.”

“About me? How appropriate. Can I get up on your desk?”

“Sure. Let me move a little, and you can jump up.”

“Um. I think I need a lift. Grab that glass of water as well.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“You know I’m getting up there.”

“Yes, Stella. We talked about that last week.”

“I know, but when you said, “Jump.”

“Wishful thinking I would guess. Here you go.”

“Terrific, John. You sure I’m not putting you out?”

“Oh, no. I can write just fine from over here. Your foot just made your photo go away.”

“Ah, you can get it back. Right?”

“Of course I can. You just take your time and enjoy the water.”

“You know I need to get down now.”

“Given the fact you have permission to walk on the keyboard and drink water on my desk, I’m sure you want down.”

“You’re the best, John.”

“You too, Stella.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

November 1, 2017October 31, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 41 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we got an earful from the private eye who explained that for some reason Sheriff Gibson tampered with some evidence to keep Alice from being arrested for cocaine possession. The question was,”Why would he help his ex-wife get out of trouble. The PI said he had the answer so let’s get back to the conversation and find out the reason.

“How’s the coffee?”
“Swell boss. I believe you asked why Gibson would help his wife with a drug charge, right?”
“Yes, it just doesn’t make any sense.”
“It does if the ex-wife had something on the sheriff and threatened to blab unless he helped her.”
“Is that what happened?”
“As I was digging into the Weston woman’s past I came across a reference to Trish Severide.”
“What do you mean a reference?”
“As I mentioned Trish did some in a rehab facility.”
“Yes.”
“It just so happened that the Weston woman worked in that facility as an administrator.”
“Odd coincidence wouldn’t you say?”
“Yeah, I think it is a little more than odd. I snooped around the facility but didn’t turn up a reason. I do know that when Trish was discharged Weston quit her job.”
“You think she was there to keep an eye on Trish?”
“Sounds that way to me. At this point, I also think maybe the sheriff was the one who told her to get a job there.”
“Why do you think that?”
“He was the one she used as a reference.”
“Now how do you find out information like that?”
“Let’s say if anything is written, scanned, and stored online I can look at it.”
“So you are making a connection between Alice Weston and the sheriff that caused the sheriff to squash a drug charge.”
“That is what I’m saying.”
“You have not proofed.”
“Wait until I talk to a few of the employees of the facility. I’m sure someone there has some information that will verify my theory.”
“I’m not sure it is going to be worth spending more money.”
“I think I can find out where Trish went and who killed the Saverides.”
“You just saying that to get the work?”
“No, I’m saying it because I think I can deliver.”
“Tell me you think my client did it.”
“I can clear your client. I’m almost sure of it.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #146

October 31, 2017October 30, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 39 Comments

Using Keith’s words.

“Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keith@channing.info before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.

The photo.

“My children, as we look over the beautiful countryside we must think of how vast the world is and how small we appear in relation to it. Ow.”

“OMG. The pastor was just stung by a bee.”

“Impossible. He is our leader and cannot be taken down by a humble bee. He is impervious to such mundane nuisances.”

“Can someone help me? I have been stung by a bee.”

“So much for the impervious leader.”

“I can’t believe it. Just last night he was walking on hot coals.”

“I knew it was a trick.”

“It was no trick. I supervised the building of the coals myself. I looked at his feet, and he had no burns.”

“So why is he in so much pain over a little bee sting.”

“I don’t know. Did you see him the day before lying on a bed of nails.”

“Yes, and I thought that was a trick as well.”

“You can’t be serious. Did you not see the marks on his skin with your own eyes?”

“Yes I saw them. So what is up with the bee?”

“I can’t imagine. I think I must approach him and ask.”

“Good luck with that.”

“My leader. How may I help you?”

“This bee caught me in a venerable place, and I need help.”

“But my leader you are a man of courage and faith. I watched as you tested your faith on coals and nails. Can’t your faith carry you through this bee sting?”

“My son. We all have points of vulnerability. It is the Creator’s way to keep us from getting too arrogant thus believing we can live without faith.”

“Oh, I see. So the bee found your point of vulnerability.”

“Do you remember the classics, my son? The story of Achilles?”

“Oh, yes my leader. He was strong and brave, but his heel was his point of vulnerability.”

“That’s correct. We refer to someone’s vulnerability as “An Achilles heel.”

“So the bee caught you in your Achilles heel.”

“I would say Achilles’ bum is more accurate. Help me to the infirmary. I need someone to take out the stinger.”

“The only person there is nurse Pradeep.”

“Yes. I know my son. Hurry.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do in Your Halloween Costume.

October 30, 2017October 29, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 50 Comments

The inspiration for this list was seeing a guy out in public in a Halloween costume. It struck me that he was unaware of the stares and reaction of those around him. Hope you enjoy.

10 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not go into the bank to make a withdrawal. If you do, at best some will stare. At worst the teller will not look at your withdrawal slip but assume you are holding up the bank. (That zombie makeup had her rattled, Donald. Too bad the SWAT team had no sense of humor.)

9 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not think you have the same powers as the superhero you are dressed to be. If you do, at best you’ll hurt yourself. At worst you will think you can take on Tiny the WWF champ who is in step two of his anger management treatment. (Look like that cape is not going to save you, Dorian. I would just go limp, and maybe Tiny will think you are dead.)

8 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not go shopping at the grocery store. If you do, at best you will have the aisles to yourself. At worst, the store manager will insist that you leave since most of his employees have locked themselves in the lounge and refused to come out. (It could be that the hatchet embedded in your skull looks too real, Dex.)

7 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not go through the fast food drive-through. If you do, at best you may be wearing a chocolate milkshake. At worst, the panicked employee will call 911 and drop your food outside the window. (The police are understanding, but you still have no food, Dante.)

6 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not think you can attend the Saturday night church service. If you do, at best you’ll have a pew all to yourself. At worst, the minister will continually point in your direction when he comes to the phrase, “Devil worship.” ( You didn’t realize Halloween is not a big thing in your church huh, Dacey?)

5 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not keep your doctor’s appointment. If you do, at best you will empty the waiting room. At worst, your doctor will assume you have had a massive mental breakdown and will call the county home for a pickup. (The clown makeup and white straight jacket is quite a look, Dagwood.)

4 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not drive on the freeway. If you do, at best you’ll get some weird looks. At worst you will shock the fragile person in the vehicle next to you, and they will turn into your car as a defensive move. (The cop insists it’s your fault for scaring the wimp next to you, Dalbert.)

3 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not go next door to borrow a cup of sugar. If you do, at best you won’t get the sugar. At worst, your NRA member next door neighbor will not recognize you and will only quit shooting when you dive into your house. (What would have happened if your neighbor was a good shot, Damek?)

2 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not exceed the speed limit. If you do, at best you’ll get home without incident. At worst, you’ll be pulled over and after all is said and done, lying on the street with your hands cuffed behind your back. (Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to dress as Pretty Boy Floyd after all. Although you have to admit that Tommy gun sure looked real, Dareau.)

1 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not go through the TSA security screen at the airport. If you do, at best you will be denied boarding. At worst, the private search that turned up the sword, flintlock pistols, and the grog will be enough to charge you with terrorism. (The pirate idea sounded good at home, Dartagnan. In the airport? Not so much.)