Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt Sap/Sep/Sip/Sop/Sup

January 5, 2019January 4, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 49 Comments

Another Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is a doozy. It is sap/sep/sip/sop/sup. Linda Hill says we can use all of them or just a few or find a word with them included. Well, I choose all just cause I can. If you would like to get these feelings of independence, go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder for #SoCS & #JusJoJan 2019 Daily Prompt – Jan. 5th

“Sup brother?”

“I feel like a sap.”

“How so my man?”

“Do you have time cause it is one of those long stories.”

“For you? I have all the time in the world. You are my best buddy.”

“Wow. Thank you. Okay so here goes—”

“Hold on there bestie. For you, I would do anything.”

“Gee, that’s swell. So there—”

“I would walk through fire.”

“Heres the stor—”

“I would swim through sharks.”

“I appreciate that. I was—”

“No rock too big to move for you.”

“You want to hear the story or not?”

“Aw. Of course, I want to hear it. You are my brother from another mother.”

“I—”

“Or maybe brother from another father. It doesn’t matter. What is your trouble?”

I, erm, was sitting in Micky D’s minding my business. I had a soft drink to sip and catsup to sop, so life was good.”

“I would say good my man. Continue.”

“All t’ sudden this septuagenarian sits in my booth across from me.”

“What the hell is a septuagenarian?”

“Someone who has lived at least seventy years.”

“Oh. Go on.”

“He asks me if I’m going to finish my fries.”

“Aw, the poor guy was hungry.”

“No, that’s not why he asked.”

“Why did he?”

“He has a theory that fries and soft drinks cause sepsis.”

“Sepsis? What’s that?”

“Blood poisoning.”

“The guy is nuts for sure.”

“That’s what I thought. I told him I would give up my fries and soft drink.”

“What did he say?”

“He told me I was saved and took my fries and soft drink.”

“He conned you.”

“That’s why I feel like a sap.”

“Buy the way, do you have a SEP-IRA?”

“I’m not sure. What is it?”

“Simplified Employee Pension – Individual Retirement Plan. It is for retirement.”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“I can set you up.”

“What if I don’t want one.”

“You’ll get sepsis.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Ask Someone Else = Storage”

December 29, 2018December 28, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 32 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “Ask Someone Else.” Linda Hill says we should ask someone else for a prompt word. I did, and the word came back. It is “storage.” If you would like to run around and chase perfect strangers all the while begging for a prompt word, visit Linda’s blog and find out how you can uplift yourself to this level of social interaction. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/12/28/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-29-18/

“Where have you been?”

“It is a pretty complicated story.”

“Okay, I have the time. What is this all about?”

“You know I participate in a prompt every Saturday right?”

“I’m all too aware.”

“Well, this week the leader directed that we ask someone else for the prompt word.”

“Yeah, so what’s the problem? Ask away.”

“You are pretty critical of this program, so I decided to ask a stranger.”

“I just think you go overboard sometimes. How did asking a stranger work out for you?”

“I asked several.”

“You couldn’t be satisfied with just one answer?”

“I didn’t get an answer.”

“Why not?”

“When I asked for a word the first guy thought I needed money and gave me a fiver.”

“That is a good thing.”

“The next person thought I was hungry and gave me their sandwich.”

“Still not too bad.”

“The third person thought I was being fresh and slapped my face.”

“Now it is starting to go downhill which I suspect is where this thing is headed.”

“The fourth person thought I was demanding their wallet and hit me in the face.”

“So we are slowly headed to the bottom of a giant mess. Go on.”

“The fifth person was a cop.”

“This is where it will end I’m sure.”

“I asked him for a prompt word, and he said ‘storage.”‘

“Okay, so you got your word. This still doesn’t let me know where you have been.”

“I found out what he meant by ‘storage.”‘

“Don’t tell me.”

“A euphemism for jail. Lucky for me the charges were dropped after I explained what I was doing to the judge.”

“You were lucky.”

“Not really luck.”

“How so?”

“The judge does the same prompt. he asked me for a word.”

“Let me guess the word you gave him.”

“You won’t get it ever.”

“Freedom.”

“How did you know?”

“Just lucky I guess.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Tin.”

December 22, 2018December 21, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 44 Comments

Aggregating my thoughts today made me realize it is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “tin.” Linda Hill instructs that we can use the word of a word containing “tin.” She also advises having fun and offers bonus points if we begin and end the post with the word “tin” or a word with “tin” in it. So now you know why there is an unusual beginning to this post. If you would like an aneurysm, please participate. You can do that by visiting Linda Hill’s blog and reading up on the latest mental health methods. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/12/21/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-22-18/

“This sign will be pinpointing some of my neighbor’s flaws.”

“I think you might be overreacting.”

“To someone who is afflicting me with such aggravation.”

“Tell me the situation, and maybe I can be helpful in deflecting your anger.”

“The guy lets his dog use my yard as a privy and is tainting my environment.”

“Did you have a conversation about the urinating?”

“Of course I did. He began advocating that it was really my fault.”

“Your fault? That must have been aggravating.”

“I’ll say. The brigantine suggested that I build a fence.”

“That does sound like he is conflating the issue.”

“I’d love to know what that means. It’s like I’m consorting with Merriam Webster.”

“It means mixing two elements. I think he is detracting from the real issue.”

“Yeah, no kidding. That’s why I’m dedicating this sign to him.”

“For what it is worth I think you will be escalating the tension.”

“I don’t see how. All this sign says is keep your dog off my property you disgusting idiot you.”

“What if someone put that up and was pointing to restricting your behavior?”

“If I were committing the same offense, I would expect it.”

“Well then, I guess I’m reluctantly consenting to your move.”

“Thank you so much for the attempt at correcting my behavior, but I must do this.”

“Need a hammer for detonating what I’m sure will be WWIII?”

“Very funny. I hope the guy at least finds this sign disrupting.”

“I think you will be ratcheting the tension ”

“I certainly hope so. By the way, do you have any turpentine?”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Hairy”

December 15, 2018December 14, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 55 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this week’s prompt is “hairy.” Linda Hill says we can use hairy any way we want and there are bonus points if we use it in more than one meaning. I’m all over the bonus points so that will be my objective. If you jump to bait easily, you might want to join this group. Visit Linda’s blog to read how. Here is the link

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Dec. 15/18

“She asks me why
I’m just a hairy guy
I’m hairy noon and night—”

“Another song. What is it this time.”

“One of my favorites. Hair from the Broadway show. They are doing their fifty-year tour.”

“Fifty years? The show was on Broadway before you were born.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate it.”

“What brought a fifty-year-old play to mind anyway?”

“I was looking up the Hairy Man Festival in Round Rock Texas and just wondered how many other things had hair involved in them.”

“Hairy Man Festival? What is that?”

“Back in the 1880’s, there was an old hermit who used to try to scare people off by jumping at them. He was covered with hair and became known as the Austin Big Foot. Every year those folks in Round Rock hold a festival in his memory.”

“Nothing much to do around there I’m guessing. What else did you find?”

“The Hairy Who.”

“Okay, I’ll bite.”

“A group of Six Chicago artists who got together to co-create works that spoke of the culture of the Sixties.”

“Interesting. Anything else?”

“The Hairy Frog of Central Africa. Called the Horror Frog.”

“Lovely I’m sure.”

“Has claws.”

“To be avoided I’ll bet. Okay, I’ve heard enough.”

“Wait there’s the hairy woodpecker, spider, and tongue.”

“I can’t hear you. La la la.”

“Hairy ears.”

“I’m going to give you a hairy eyeball if you don’t quit.”

“Okay, that’s it.”

“Fine. How about lunch.”

“Yeah. Let’s go to Harry’s diner.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Musical”

December 8, 2018December 7, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 53 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness time again and this week’s prompt is “musical.” Linda Hill advises that we can use it any way we want. I love this kind of empowerment. If you would like to be too big for your shoes visit Linda’s blog and read how to join this band of hyperactive keyboard abusers. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/12/07/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-8-18/

“What is that tune you are humming?”

“Tune?”

“Yes. You’ve been humming it all morning.”

“I have not.”

“Okay, then I need to go to the ear specialist to check for tinnitus.”

“What does it sound like?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Sometimes like the song from the Sound of Music musical.”

“Which one?”

“The Hills are alive with the sound of music, one.”

“I like that song. If I put my ear to yours do you think I could hear it too?”

“Get away from me. Other times it sounds like something classical.”

“Can you name it?”

“Night on Bald Mountain by Mussorgsky.”

“I’m not familiar. Can you hum it?”

“You have got to be kidding me. It is a full orchestration.”

“Anything else?”

“Maybe the Air That I Breathe by the Hollies.”

“Oh, I know that one. All I need is the air that I breathe and to love you.”

“You’re a little flat.”

“Finally Queen’s greatest hits.”

“You are kidding. The entire album? This sound like you are having some kind of musical breakdown.”

“I don’t think so. Lots of people have tinnitus.”

“Wait. What is that thing in your ear?”

“What thing?”

“That white thing.”

“Oh my gosh. It is my AirPod. I forgot it was there.”

“What about the tinnitus?”

“Without the AirPod it’s gone.”

“Yet more evidence that you are an idiot.”

“Anyone can forget an AirPod.”

“Anyone with the intelligence of a grape.”

“I think I was happier with tinnitus.”

“At least you had great music.”

“And I was never alone.”

“Spoken like someone who needs an intervention.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Ma.”

December 1, 2018November 30, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 46 Comments

Mama just killed a man. Put my gun against his head pulled the trigger now he’s dead. Well, it is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “ma.” Linda Hill says we can use “ma” or any word containing “ma.” Also, there are bonus points for starting the post with “ma.” Now you see why I did a riff on Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen.

If you would like to slowly lose your grip on reality, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is to do. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/11/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-1-18/

Ma by John W. Howell © 2108

“You would not believe the dream I had last night. It was a real nightmare.”

“You know dreams are only imaginary?”

“I know that, and I don’t normally pay attention to them.”

“Was this one that dramatic that it has you upset?”

“How’s this sound. David Letterman is the chairman of our company.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound so bad. In real life that would be immaterial.”

“Yes, but I had to give a presentation to him on filmmaking. I don’t know squat about the subject.”

“So what did you do? Make up some facts?”

“I walked in and he was sitting behind this giant desk with a margarita in his hand.”

“Okay, this sounds like it is getting funny. I imagine he was pretty friendly.”

“Quite the opposite. He called my presentation the benchmark of mediocrity.”

“Oh, that’s harsh. Maybe he was drunk.”

“The whole thing ended up with him demanding my resignation.”

“What did you do with that malicious request?”

“I took it as a mandate to find another job.”

“So did you find another job and leave that dismal place?”

“I’ve been busy this morning. I need to go to Monster Dot Com on my MAC.”

“You sure you’re not being premature. After all, it was a dream. What were you doing all morning?”

“Working on my resume. Oh yes. I sent my marvelous letter of resignation.”

“You gotta be kidding me. Because of a dream, you formally resigned?”

“You had to have been there. Besides, I hate filmmaking and I think to try to succeed would be too much drama.”

“Your company makes computers. You work for a manufacturer not a filmmaker.”

“I think I have post-traumatic dream disorder. I’ll write to the boss and tell him it was a big mistake.”

“Good luck with that. Use your personal magnetism.”

” I wish I hadn’t opened the letter with ‘Dear Demanding Asshole.'”

“Yeah, that might take a little touch of diplomacy to fix.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Digest.

November 24, 2018November 23, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is “digest.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. If you would like to join this band of happy souls, go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/11/23/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-24-18/

“Wow am I full.”

“Not surprising since you ate enough to feed a family of five.”

“Let me digest for a minute before hauling out the lecture material.”

“I just don’t understand how you can put away that much food.”

“Easy. Open mouth, insert food.”

“You know very well what I mean.”

“Okay, the lecture is about to begin. Give me the Reader’s Digest version if you don’t mind.”

“I’m just glad we didn’t have any guests to witness this scene.”

“Alright, that is about all I can handle. This is Thanksgiving. You’re supposed to eat a lot.”

“By a lot are you talking about four servings?”

“Well, if that’s what it takes to be thankful.”

“What about the children?”

“What about them?”

“Do you think you set a good example.”

“I don’t think they even noticed. Look at them playing over there.”

“You going to help me clean up?”

“What’s to clean up?”

“You know how these carcasses attract hyenas. I hate those things. They are always laughing and at who knows what. Gives me the creeps.”

“Darling you know I’m king of the jungle, and no damn hyena’s going to mess with me. Just so you can rest easy, I’ll drag these Zebra leftovers into the underbrush. Might be good for a snack later.”

“How can you even think of a snack.”

“Don’t you have a gazelle to chase down or something.”

“You watch the cubs. I’ll be back in a flash.”

“Take your time. I’ve got a wildebeest game to watch.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Roll/Role

November 17, 2018November 16, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 52 Comments

It is Saturday Stream of Consciousness time again. This weeks prompt is “roll/role. Linda Hill says we can use one or both. I’ll go ahead and use both thank you. If you would like to join in, visit Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link

“Don’t bogart that joint, my friend. Pass it over to me.”

“Okay, what’s going on now.”

“I remember that song from the movie Easy Rider.”

“I’m surprised you can remember the movie let alone the song.”

“Roll another one. Just like the other one.”

“I get it you remember the song.”

“Yeah, and I loved that movie.”

“Why so?”

“Jack Nicholson had the best role.”

“What made it so good for you.”

“He was such a character. A drunk lawyer. Made me laugh.”

“You have a motorcycle?”

“No. Never did. I borrowed a friend’s once.”

“I think there is a story here.”

“Yeah. I did a neat roll in time to miss a truck that slammed on his brakes.”

“Lucky you weren’t killed.”

“Made me think twice about buying one for myself.”

“Sounds like you bought one for someone else.”

“Yeah, My friend. I totaled his.”

“Ouch.”

“Wanna see my roll scars?”

“No that is a voyeur role I want to avoid.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Mean(s)

November 10, 2018November 9, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 49 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “mean (s). Linda Hill says we can use the prompt with or without the (s). Maybe I’ll use them both. If you would like to participate in this fun go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Nov. 10/18

“What does that mean?”

“I think it is pretty clear.”

“If it were clear I wouldn’t ask.”

“You ask a lot of questions so how am I supposed to know if something is clear to you or not?”

“It’s not clear to me.”

“Okay. The sign means to keep off the grass.”

“Why does it say, ‘Touch Not?'”

“I figure that would cover everything. Feet, hands, body. You name it, ‘Touch Not’ means no part of anyone should be on my grass.”

“You are a mean mother. You know that?

“Why would you say I’m mean?”

“Who cares if someone steps on your precious grass. It is meant to be walked on.”

“Oh no, it is not meant to be walked on. Grass means green visual. Nothing else.”

“Green visual. Did you just make that up?”

“Maybe. I think that is what grass means to me.”

“What about picnics, flying kites, lawn bowling, and crochet?”

“On someone else’s grass.”

“I can tell you this attitude means a potential for a lonely old age.”

“If those who want to visit me mean to walk on my grass, I would be happy being lonely.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do mean that. My ‘Touch Not’ sign goes up tomorrow.”

“Why not today?”

“It would mean postponing my lawn party.”

“You are a disturbed person. You know that right?

“Talk about mean?”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Point”

November 3, 2018November 2, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 41 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday again and this weeks prompt is a bit different so I thought I would quote Linda Hill.

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “point.” Open a book on your lap, close your eyes, and put your finger on the page. Whatever you land on, whether it be a word, a phrase, or a sentence, write about it. Enjoy! “

If you would like to join this fun visit Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/11/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-3-18/

I opened a book in my lap and my finger fell on the sentence, “I smiled at his tone.” So here goes.

“I can’t believe it is November already.”

“I know right? The days go by so quickly it is hard to keep up with them.”

“Well, I don’t know about that. I just know that I’m not sure I can face Daylight Savings Time again.”

“What is so hard. You go to bed and sleep in another hour.”

“Yeah and get up while it is pitch black out.”

“So what can you do about it?”

“I went to city hall.”

“What? What for?”

“To complain to the city council.”

“And?”