Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Well.”

October 14, 2017October 13, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 32 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is, “Well.” (Deep subject) If you would like to participate in this fun visit Linda Hill’s blog and read how. Here is her link https://lindaghill.com/2017/10/13/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-1417/

“Well, what did he say?”

“He said you and I need to get to the well.”

“Does that mean we are hired?”

“well, I don’t believe he would send us out to the well unless he intends to make us an offer.”

“That would be swell. You know a job on an oil well is just the kind of well-paying opportunity that will make us well again.”

“Well, don’t get your hopes up too high. He could just not be feeling well and wanted to get rid of us?”

“That would not be well-meaning. You talked about work right?”

“Of course I talked about work. I told him we were two able-bodied workers who were well qualified for work on a well.”

“Well said. Why don’t we get to the well and start working?”

“Do you have gloves?”

“No. You didn’t tell him we were well equipped, did you?”

“I didn’t mention anything about equipment, but I do know well work takes a good pair of gloves.”

“Maybe we need to stop at the outfitter before we get to the well.”

“We are not well off, and those gloves cost a bunch.”

“Yes, but they are well made, so they are worth it.”

“I guess you are right a couple of oil well workers need gloves.”

“So you in? We stop and then go to the well.”

“Yup. We need to get a lunch too. The day won’t go well if we don’t eat.”

“I’m glad you thought of that. You may well have saved our butts.”

“That’s what I’m here for. Well trained to save butts.”

“Very well. Let’s go.”

“I’m well positioned right behind you.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Save/Safe”

October 7, 2017October 6, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 27 Comments

Save the whales, it is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This weeks prompt is Save/Safe and Linda Hill’s stand-in Joey says we can use the words any way we want. If we start or end the post with one or the other, then there are bonus points to be had. I’m all over bonus points hence the weird start. If you would like to get on board with this, please visit Linda’s blog post and read how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/10/06/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-617/

“Save me the humor. Just answer the question.”

“Could you repeat the question, please?”

“Is it safe?”

“Okay, I may be missing something but is what safe?”

“I had hoped you would be able to tell me.”

“Now this is sounding like a movie. Are you a dentist?”

“No. I’m not a dentist. I need to know if the package is safe.”

“What package are you talking about.”

“Save the act for Hollywood. You know very well what package.”

“If I know very well how come I can’t tell you?”

“Maybe a little convincing is necessary.”

“Now you save me the dramatics. you going to torture me?”

“Oh please. I’m going to show you a picture of you and the package.”

“Let’s see it. Yeah, that does look like me.”

“What is under your arm?”

“Looks like a package.”

“Ah ha. Exactly. Where is the package now?”

“You are kidding right?”

“We don’t kid. Now, where is it?”

“In my car.”

“Your car? How did it get into your car?”

“I put it there before you grabbed me off the street.”

“Funny I should have noticed that.”

“I would say. Now you’ve made a mess.”

“Mess? What mess.”

“Illegal detention.”

“Oh that. We are all gentlemen here. We can let bygones be bygones.”

“If you let me go we can. Why do you want that package anyway?”

“It is a matter of national security.”

“My laundry is a matter of national security?”

“Laundry?”

“Yes, that’s what was in the package.”

“Mr. Young I can assure you we have it on good authority you are transporting government secrets.”

“My name is Horowitz.”

“Oh, my. Horowitz, you say?”

“Yes. I demand you let me go.”

“Is it safe?”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Hot/Cold”

September 23, 2017September 22, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 28 Comments

Hot damn. It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This weeks prompt is “hot/cold.” There are bonus points for beginning the post with one and ending the post with the other. Now you see why I lead off with “hot damn.” If you would like to be involved with this craziness, then visit Linda Hill’s post and read all about it. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Sept. 23/17

Hot/cold by John W. Howell © 2107

“Hot coffee is what will revive me.”

“What’s the problem.”

“Not sure. I haven’t been sleeping well lately.”

“That’s not good. You have something on your mind?”

“Not really.”

“I could have guessed your answer.”

“What do you mean.”

“I look upon your mind as expansive as a great vast empty ballroom.”

“My, what a nice thing to say.”

“You are kidding right?”

“No, why?”

“I just said you were empty-headed.”

“I thought you were telling me my mind was of high-capacity.”

“Every time I talk to you, I get this feeling you hear, but you don’t understand.”

“No need to be rude. So I’m not a deep thinker. I still am having trouble sleeping.”

“What time do you eat dinner?”

“Nine o’clock. Why?”

“What time do you go to bed?”

“Ten o’clock. What are you saying?”

“You should not eat anything for at least three hours before you go to sleep. Your body has to work hard to get rid of the food, and so you are unable to sleep.”

“Yeah, whatever happened to the food coma concept?”

“The what?”

“You know when you have a big dinner you want to lay down and take a nap?”

“Who does that?”

“A lot of people I know.”

“You run with a pack of pigs?”

“Now that is cold.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Vol”

September 16, 2017September 15, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 51 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is “Vol.” Yup, that’s right. Linda Hill says to find a word with “vol” in it and construct the post. She also advises the group to have fun. If you would like to participate in the fun go to Linda’s blog and find out how. Here is the link https://lindaghill.com/2017/09/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-1617/

“So what did she say?”

“Find a word with vol in it and write the post.”

“That’s it?”

“Oh, and she said to have fun with it.”

“Ha. Easy for her to say. You and I are here on the line and she sits in that Ivory Tower handing out prompts like they are free.”

“They are.”

“Are what?”

“Free.”

“What do you mean. We have to put our very heart into this crap. We sweat bullets over these damn words. How can you say they are free?”

“You finished?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Okay then, Let’s put our thinking caps on and come up with a word that has vol in it.”

“I hate that.”

“What?”

“The phrase thinking cap. I don’t have a cap. It is my brain that does all the thinking.”

“Did you get your coffee this morning?”

“Had five cups. Why?”

“You seem a little wound up is all.”

“Fine. Volume, Volvo, convoluted, volleyball, benevolent, voluptuous, devolution, malevolent, and voluminous. Just to name a few.”

That’s great. On which do you want to base a post?”

“None of them.”

“None of them? Why not?”

“They have all been done before. Let’s do something original.”

“Okay like what?”

“Well there is a village in Iran named Vol. We could do a story on it.”

“Ho hum.”

“There is Vol Dooley a former sheriff Louisiana. We could do his story.”

“Ugh.”

“How about the computer command Vol?”

“Wait a minute. You went on-line and looked this stuff up, right?”

“Well, yeah. So what?”

“So what? Do you know how frivolous this makes you look?”

“I think I’m a revolutionist.”

“I think you show the voluminousness of the empty space where your brian should be.”

“I’m thinking you border on the revolting.”

“Says the man with the vole sized brain.”

“You better vol.”

“Huh? What does that mean?”

“It’s French for flight and you should take the hint.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Motive”

September 9, 2017September 8, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 34 Comments

It is Steam of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “motive.” Linda Hill says we can use the word any way we want. If you would like to join in the fun, please go to Linda’s site and read all about it. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/09/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-917/

“I wonder what gimmick the seminar leader is going to use to motivate us.”

“Oh, I believe it is the old trust your fellow workers with exercises designed to make us all not trust each other.”

“Ha ha ha. remember that time we were supposed to catch Jenkins as he fell.”

“My gosh, that was funny. He fell right on his head. Did he ever come back to work?”

“I heard they set him to a feelings doctor. He had PSSD.”

“PSSD? What’s that?”

“Post Seminar Stress Disorder.”

“No kidding. I think I have had that myself.”

“What do you suppose is management’s motive for this kind of foolishness.”

“They call it team building. I guess it’s meant to bring us together.”

“I never did forgive Simmons for that paint ball shot to the groin.”

“I’m not surprised. To see you on the ground crying like a baby is not a vision soon forgotten.”

“That was not my proudest moment. How about you? That time you were left out in the woods with no shoes.”

“My team was supposed to fetch me a pair.”

“Too bad the bar opened before they could get back.”

“I hate those people.”

“All we have is each other in this thing. I got your back.”

“Aw, thanks, man. I love you too. Oops here comes the leader.”

“Ladies and gentleman please give me your attention. This seminar is a little different from most. At the end of the week, the company will be promoting half of you based on how well you do with a pay increase of 10% above your current level. The other half will return to their old jobs at a wage level of 90 % of the previous amount.”

“Did you hear that?”

“You talking to me? Do I know you?

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt Birth/Berth

September 2, 2017September 1, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 40 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is Birth/Berth. Linda Hill says we can use one or the other or both. If you would like to have fun with us, please visit Linda’s blog and read all about it. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/09/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-217/

“Tell me again. What is your emergency.”

“I’m stuck in the upper berth on a boat, and a deer is giving birth in the lower berth.”

“Okay maybe it has been a long day, but there are a lot of birth words in your statement. Let’s break it down. You are stuck in the upper berth of a boat?”

“Yes. I can’t move.”

“Thank you. Where is the boat?”

“It is berthed in the marina.”

“Of course it is. What is the name of the boat?”

“Birth of the Blues.”

“Why am I not surprised. Tell me what happened?”

“I was trying to get away from the deer and jumped into the upper Berth.”

“Okay, and how did you get stuck?”

“I got wedged. I guess I should have left my tool belt back in the truck.”

“The deer was chasing you?”

“Yes, and I ran for this boat with her in hot pursuit.”

“Tell me about the deer.”

“She is brown with big eyes.”

“Not her appearance. Tell me what she is doing.”

“She is laying in the lower Berth giving birth.”

“So she won’t be chasing you anymore.”

“No, she is pretty busy right now.”

“The real emergency is getting you unstuck right?”

“That and getting the deer some help.”

“Okay, sir. I want you to remain on the line. We have dispatched an EMS crew to your location. Please stay calm.”

“I’m calm. I can’t speak for the deer though.”

“I understand. Any change?”

“No, my breathing has returned to normal.”

“Not you. The deer.”

“Nope still brown.”

“You are putting me on right?”

“No, I’m stuck.”

“I’m trying to find out how the deer is doing.”

“Oh, she gave birth and left.”

“So that just leaves you stuck in the berth.”

“Yes. And the bear.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “When.”

August 26, 2017August 25, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 47 Comments

When it is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time you know, I’m going to participate. This weeks prompt is “When.” One little twist of today’s prompt is that Linda Hill has asked that those participating begin their post with the word “when.” Now you know why I started this post the way I did. If you would like to join in on this fun, please visit Linda Hill’s blog. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Aug. 26/17

“When did you make that up?”

“Make what up?”

“That story about the ghost.”

“I didn’t make that up.”

“Who did then?”

“No one made up a story it is true.”

“Oh, C’mon.There is no such thing as ghosts.”

“That’s what you think.”

“So how can you prove you saw a ghost?”

“That’s just it. I don’t need to prove it.”

“Why not?”

“There is a particular kind of person who can see a ghost.”

“Now you are talking crazy.”

“Here take a look at this photo.”

“Yeah.”

“What do you see?”

“A guy on a horse.”

“Does he look familiar?”

“Yes, it’s General Grant.”

“What if I told you it takes a ghost to see a ghost.”

“I would think you are nuts.”

“Turn around and tell me what you see.”

“Is that General Grant?”

“What do you think?”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Guess.”

August 12, 2017August 11, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 31 Comments

SOCS

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. Today’s prompt is “Guess.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. If you would like to participate, visit Linda’s blog and find out how. Here is the link https://lindaghill.com/2017/08/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-1217/

“So if I had to guesstimate the amount we need—”

“Yeah, hold on a minute. What do you mean guesstimate?”

“You know. An estimate and a guess rolled into one.”

“So why not just say a guess?”

“Cause my number will be more accurate than a guess.”

“Well, then why don’t you call it an estimate?”

“Real simple. My number will be less accurate than an estimate.”.

“Now you have me confused.”

“Not hard I’m sure.”

“Very funny. So you are saying your guesstimate is somewhere between a guess and an estimate.”

“Yes. I think you have it.”

“And you count on these number to do your job.?”

“Sure do. At least I’m not coming up with a SWAG.”

“Okay, what’s a SWAG?”

“Scientific Wild Assed Guess.”

“And that’s good you aren’t coming up with a SWAG?”

“Oh yeah. A SWAG takes some input and when all is said and done it is still a guess. Too much work. A guesstimate gets you there with a lot less effort.”

“Here we are trying to figure out how much beer we need for the game. What do you do where you use guesstimates?”

“I work for NASA. In charge of fueling the rockets.”

“So sorry I asked.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Limb”

July 29, 2017July 28, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 22 Comments

SOCS

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This weeks prompt is Limb. Linda Hill says we can use the word any way we want. If you would like to participate, visit Linda’s blog for some helpful instructions and great posts on the prompt. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/07/28/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-2917/

“So, what did you say was the prompt this week?”

“Limb.”

“Limp? What the hell kind of prompt is that?”

“Not limp you dolt. Limb.”

“Lamb? Okay, that is a little better. I could do a little, “Mary had a little lamb.”‘

“Not lamb. What’s the matter with your hearing anyway? It’s limb.”

“Ah, I got it now. Okay, how about a recipe for gin and tonic. We can use lime as a garnish.”

“I may have to call a doctor after I slap you. Not lime. It’s Limb.”

“I know a guy named Lim. He was in my math class.”

“Let me give you a hint. I will tear you limb from limb if you don’t stop.”

“Is that from Shakespeare?”

“No, it is from my mouth.”

“So the prompt is limb like a branch of a tree?”

“By Jove, I think he’s got it. Yes, limb like on a tree.”

“Well, that shouldn’t be too hard then.”

“After we finally get to it, no.”

“I have the greatest knock, knock joke. It even has a limb in it.”

“Sounds fun.”

“You start it.”

“Okay knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“You idiot. just start running.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Sealing/Ceiling”

July 22, 2017July 21, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 36 Comments

SOCS

It is Stream of Conscious Saturday time again. This weeks prompt is Sealing/Ceiling. Linda Hill says we can use these any way we want. We can use one or both. If you would like to join in this prompt go to Linda’s blog and read all about it. Here is the link where you will see other’s work too. https://lindaghill.com/2017/07/21/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-2217/

“What are you doing up there?”

“I’m sealing the ceiling.”

“What?”

“There is a leak in the roof, so I’m putting some stuff on the ceiling, so the water won’t leak in.”

“Shouldn’t you be putting something on the roof?”

“I would but it is so high up there, and besides it’s raining.”

“I’m not sure this is going to work. What about the water in the attic?”

“I have that figured out too.”

“I can’t wait to hear this.”

“Yeah, I put a bunch of towels on the attic floor. They will catch the water.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to put a bucket in the attic?”

“What happens when the bucket gets full?”