Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt Birth/Berth

September 2, 2017September 1, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 40 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is Birth/Berth. Linda Hill says we can use one or the other or both. If you would like to have fun with us, please visit Linda’s blog and read all about it. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/09/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-217/

“Tell me again. What is your emergency.”

“I’m stuck in the upper berth on a boat, and a deer is giving birth in the lower berth.”

“Okay maybe it has been a long day, but there are a lot of birth words in your statement. Let’s break it down. You are stuck in the upper berth of a boat?”

“Yes. I can’t move.”

“Thank you. Where is the boat?”

“It is berthed in the marina.”

“Of course it is. What is the name of the boat?”

“Birth of the Blues.”

“Why am I not surprised. Tell me what happened?”

“I was trying to get away from the deer and jumped into the upper Berth.”

“Okay, and how did you get stuck?”

“I got wedged. I guess I should have left my tool belt back in the truck.”

“The deer was chasing you?”

“Yes, and I ran for this boat with her in hot pursuit.”

“Tell me about the deer.”

“She is brown with big eyes.”

“Not her appearance. Tell me what she is doing.”

“She is laying in the lower Berth giving birth.”

“So she won’t be chasing you anymore.”

“No, she is pretty busy right now.”

“The real emergency is getting you unstuck right?”

“That and getting the deer some help.”

“Okay, sir. I want you to remain on the line. We have dispatched an EMS crew to your location. Please stay calm.”

“I’m calm. I can’t speak for the deer though.”

“I understand. Any change?”

“No, my breathing has returned to normal.”

“Not you. The deer.”

“Nope still brown.”

“You are putting me on right?”

“No, I’m stuck.”

“I’m trying to find out how the deer is doing.”

“Oh, she gave birth and left.”

“So that just leaves you stuck in the berth.”

“Yes. And the bear.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “When.”

August 26, 2017August 25, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 47 Comments

When it is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time you know, I’m going to participate. This weeks prompt is “When.” One little twist of today’s prompt is that Linda Hill has asked that those participating begin their post with the word “when.” Now you know why I started this post the way I did. If you would like to join in on this fun, please visit Linda Hill’s blog. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Aug. 26/17

“When did you make that up?”

“Make what up?”

“That story about the ghost.”

“I didn’t make that up.”

“Who did then?”

“No one made up a story it is true.”

“Oh, C’mon.There is no such thing as ghosts.”

“That’s what you think.”

“So how can you prove you saw a ghost?”

“That’s just it. I don’t need to prove it.”

“Why not?”

“There is a particular kind of person who can see a ghost.”

“Now you are talking crazy.”

“Here take a look at this photo.”

“Yeah.”

“What do you see?”

“A guy on a horse.”

“Does he look familiar?”

“Yes, it’s General Grant.”

“What if I told you it takes a ghost to see a ghost.”

“I would think you are nuts.”

“Turn around and tell me what you see.”

“Is that General Grant?”

“What do you think?”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Guess.”

August 12, 2017August 11, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 31 Comments

SOCS

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. Today’s prompt is “Guess.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. If you would like to participate, visit Linda’s blog and find out how. Here is the link https://lindaghill.com/2017/08/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-1217/

“So if I had to guesstimate the amount we need—”

“Yeah, hold on a minute. What do you mean guesstimate?”

“You know. An estimate and a guess rolled into one.”

“So why not just say a guess?”

“Cause my number will be more accurate than a guess.”

“Well, then why don’t you call it an estimate?”

“Real simple. My number will be less accurate than an estimate.”.

“Now you have me confused.”

“Not hard I’m sure.”

“Very funny. So you are saying your guesstimate is somewhere between a guess and an estimate.”

“Yes. I think you have it.”

“And you count on these number to do your job.?”

“Sure do. At least I’m not coming up with a SWAG.”

“Okay, what’s a SWAG?”

“Scientific Wild Assed Guess.”

“And that’s good you aren’t coming up with a SWAG?”

“Oh yeah. A SWAG takes some input and when all is said and done it is still a guess. Too much work. A guesstimate gets you there with a lot less effort.”

“Here we are trying to figure out how much beer we need for the game. What do you do where you use guesstimates?”

“I work for NASA. In charge of fueling the rockets.”

“So sorry I asked.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Limb”

July 29, 2017July 28, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 22 Comments

SOCS

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This weeks prompt is Limb. Linda Hill says we can use the word any way we want. If you would like to participate, visit Linda’s blog for some helpful instructions and great posts on the prompt. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/07/28/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-2917/

“So, what did you say was the prompt this week?”

“Limb.”

“Limp? What the hell kind of prompt is that?”

“Not limp you dolt. Limb.”

“Lamb? Okay, that is a little better. I could do a little, “Mary had a little lamb.”‘

“Not lamb. What’s the matter with your hearing anyway? It’s limb.”

“Ah, I got it now. Okay, how about a recipe for gin and tonic. We can use lime as a garnish.”

“I may have to call a doctor after I slap you. Not lime. It’s Limb.”

“I know a guy named Lim. He was in my math class.”

“Let me give you a hint. I will tear you limb from limb if you don’t stop.”

“Is that from Shakespeare?”

“No, it is from my mouth.”

“So the prompt is limb like a branch of a tree?”

“By Jove, I think he’s got it. Yes, limb like on a tree.”

“Well, that shouldn’t be too hard then.”

“After we finally get to it, no.”

“I have the greatest knock, knock joke. It even has a limb in it.”

“Sounds fun.”

“You start it.”

“Okay knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“You idiot. just start running.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Sealing/Ceiling”

July 22, 2017July 21, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 36 Comments

SOCS

It is Stream of Conscious Saturday time again. This weeks prompt is Sealing/Ceiling. Linda Hill says we can use these any way we want. We can use one or both. If you would like to join in this prompt go to Linda’s blog and read all about it. Here is the link where you will see other’s work too. https://lindaghill.com/2017/07/21/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-2217/

“What are you doing up there?”

“I’m sealing the ceiling.”

“What?”

“There is a leak in the roof, so I’m putting some stuff on the ceiling, so the water won’t leak in.”

“Shouldn’t you be putting something on the roof?”

“I would but it is so high up there, and besides it’s raining.”

“I’m not sure this is going to work. What about the water in the attic?”

“I have that figured out too.”

“I can’t wait to hear this.”

“Yeah, I put a bunch of towels on the attic floor. They will catch the water.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to put a bucket in the attic?”

“What happens when the bucket gets full?”

“What happens when the towels get soaked?”

“You have me there. Do we have a big bucket?”

“Get that one we use to hold beer at picnics. It’s plenty big.”

“Where will I put the beer?”

“You don’t have any beer.”

“What if we want to go on a picnic?”

“It is raining out there. We are not going on a picnic.”

“What if it stops raining?”

“Then you won’t need the bucket to collect rain water.”

“Then I can use it to put beer in?”

“OMG either you are the dumbest human on Earth, or I am the smartest. Yes, you can then fill it with beer.”

“I’m not dumb. You are pretty smart though. How can I put beer in the bucket when it’s filled with water?”

“You empt— No wait. You fill the bucket with ice and then put the beer in. The water will make it extra cold.”

“Okay, smarty pants I have you now. How do I get a bucket filled with beer, ice, and water down the stairs to the backyard?”

“This will make sense to only you. You don’t. You have everyone come up to the attic to get their beer.”

“Oh, I get it. They will get their exercise, and I won’t have to lug that bucket.”

“Doh.”

Stream of Consciousness – Prompt “ick”

July 8, 2017July 7, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 40 Comments

SOCS

It is Stream of Consciousness time again. This week’s prompt is “ick.” Linda Hill says we can use it as part of another word or by itself. If you want to join the fun here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/07/07/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-817/

“Ick.”

“What is ick?”

“I just stepped on a cricket.”

“That’s no small trick.”

“Well, not to nitpick but he could have avoided it.”

“Now you’re making me snicker. How’s it his fault?”

“He’s quicker than me and should have gotten out of the way.”

“Maybe there was other traffic.”

“You on his side or just being tricky?”

“No gimmick. I just am presenting another side.”

“We can avoid any bickering if you just admit it was his fault.”

“We can argue if you wish. I’m not chicken.”

“I don’t want to argue. I just hate like the dickens to be wrong.”

“I know that. Trust me this situation can quickly get boring.”

“You calling me boring? I’m thunderstruck.”

“Oh my goodness. You sound like a slapstick comedy.”

“You sound like someone about to be dropkicked.”

“Arguing is not my bailiwick.”

“Then admit the dipstick of a cricket is at fault.”

“Okay fickle one. I admit it but only because I don’t want to sleep outside.”

“Good job. By the way you just reminded me, that doohickey needs repair.”

“Doohickey? You mean that finnicky tent?”

“Yup. The way you roll you never know when you will need it, Micky.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – rain/rein/reign.

June 24, 2017June 23, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 26 Comments

SOCS

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This weeks prompt is rain/rein/reign. Linda Hill says we can use all the words or just one or two and can use them any way we want. If you would like to join in, visit Linda’s blog. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS June 24/17

“Rain, rain go away. Come again another day.”

“Hey rein yourself in Buster. We need the rain.”

“Oh come on, these rhymes never work.”

“Why tempt the fates? I mean there was a reason they made up these sayings.”

“In the days of the king’s reign, someone thought it was a good idea to make up rhymes to cover certain circumstances.”

“Okay. Give me an example that makes sense to you.”

“Well besides the rain, rain go away thing, there’s Jack Sprat could eat not fat, and his wife could eat no lean. Betwixt the two of them, they licked the platter clean.”

“So what does that have to do with anything.”

“I guess it was a warning for two people to be synergistic. You know if they ignored the warning something could happen.”

“Like what?”

“What if both could eat no lean? It would be chaos.”

“I still don’t get it.”

“There wouldn’t be enough food available, and maybe both would starve.”

“Now I get it.”

“You do?”

“Yes. You’re nuts.”

Stream Of Consciousness Friday – Prompt “Sign.”

June 17, 2017June 16, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 29 Comments

SOCS

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this week’s prompt is “Sign.” Linda Hill says we can us the word any way we want and to have fun. If you would like to have some of this fun, go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/06/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-1717/

“Give me a sign.”

“Here’s a sign. ‘No Trespassing.”‘

“You dope I’m looking for a sign from the heavens.”

“What kind of sign?”

“A sign to tell me which way I should choose.”

“A sign to choose what?”

“I have two paths I can take. The first is to take this ten dollars I found and put it in the bank. So I need a sign.”

“What is the other path that a sign would help decide.”

“Do I go to the tavern and buy some beer sign.”

“Let me ask to clarify the sign need. Which path is on the left?”

“The bank path sign need is definitely on the left.”

“Oh look up ahead. There’s a sign.”

“I left my glasses what does the sign say?”

“The sign says, ‘Bear Right.'”

“I don’t suppose the sign says anything else does it.”

“No, that one doesn’t, but there is another sign.”

“And this sign says?”

“The sign says, ‘Take a pal to the Tavern.”‘

“You made up that sign.”

“Good idea for a sign though. Don’t you think?”

“That in itself is a sign. Let’s go.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Admit.”

June 10, 2017June 9, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 25 Comments

SOCS

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This week’s prompt is “Admit.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. I have to admit I’m not sure how to use it but will figure it out before too long. If you would like to join the craziness just pop over to Linda’s blog and read up on all the rules. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/06/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-1017/

“This ticket says ‘admit one.’ Where does your buddy think he’s going?”

“Excuse me. You talking to me?”

“Yeah, Robert I’m talking to you.”

“Name’s Silvester.”

“Okay, Silvester. Where d’you think you’re going?”

“Into the show.”

“Show me your ticket.”

“He’s got it.”

“His says ‘admit one.’ You and he make two.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“Real simple. No ticket no entry.”

“I already said he’s got the ticket.”

“And I already told you his ticket says ‘admit one.”‘

“He and I are together.”

“Yeah, so?”

“That makes us as one.”

“Woo boy. You think I’m that stupid?”

“Don’t know.”

“Don’t know what?”

“If you are that stupid.”

“Okay, that’s it. Show me a ticket or get lost.”

“Here’s my ticket.”

“Now I have to ask.”

“What?”

“Why did you put me through all that?”

“You have to admit it was fun.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Suit yourself.”

“Let me ask just for grins. Did you get the Robert De Nero reference from the movie Taxi?”

“Yes. Yes, I did.”

“What’d you think?”

“Not funny. Excuse us the movie is going to start.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Weather/Whether”

June 3, 2017June 2, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 35 Comments

SOCS

Whether we like it or not, it is the time for Stream of Consciousness Saturday. This weeks prompt is weather and or whether. We can use both or one. There are bonus points available if we start and end the post with one or both. Now I hope you see that I’m half way to the bonus points since I started with whether. If you would like to join in just go to Linda Hill’s blog and learn how to participate. Here is the link https://lindaghill.com/2017/06/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-317/

“Whether thou goest I will go.”

“Huh.”

“Thy people shall be my people, my love.”

“Are you trying to quote Ruth from the Bible?”

“Why yes. Yes, I am. It is so romantic.”

“I would try harder to get it right then.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s whither thou goest. Whither, whither.”

“Oh, my.”

“What?”

“I just did a post on my blog about Ruth, chapter one, verse sixteen and I used Whether.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it. Most will probably miss it.”