Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt – Invisable

April 18, 2023April 17, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 45 Comments

The prompt is found by opening a book to a random page and, without looking, point to the page. The word or words closest to the pointing finger is the prompt. Today, I opened The Last Drive to page 205, and when I opened my eyes, the word invisible was nearest my finger.

This may appear to be an implausible story made up in the mind of someone who clearly needs professional help. Let me unequivocally state that everything that is said here is the truth. In fact, I’m so grateful that the staff allowed you to interview me. It’s no secret that my being here is a total miscarriage of justice. When your story is published, all of America will see I have been wrongly accused. What’s that? Start at the beginning?

You are aware that I am the foremost biological researcher in academia today. However, you may not be aware that I discovered a compound that, when ingested, brings about a state of invisibility in organic material. I can assure you that my experiments on plants and animals proved to all who would read my findings that it was now possible for complete stealth. Think what this would mean to an army of totally invisible warriors. They would be unstoppable.

Of course, my compound could also be used for ill-gotten gains in the wrong hands. Think of a burglar being able to walk freely undectected into a home. Likewise, a bank robber could enter a bank vault and help himself. This is why the formula must be protected with the utmost security.

I hope your story will include warnings to authorities to make sure protection is paramount. As far as the unfortunate subjects who succumbed to the experiments, they should be memorialized. I can give you their names; they should be treated as heroes in the cause. It did take some time to work out the safety profile. I deeply regret their sacrifice. But wait, we have just begun. Where are you going?

* * *

“Well, did you get the story you were looking for?”

“He believes he did a good thing and thinks he’s discovered a way to make people invisible.”

“That’s why he is in here. So you’re convinced he’s not a political prisoner?”

“Not only that, but I think he is certainly a mental case.”

“So, your story?”

“There is no story. He’s a serial killer who poisoned many people, and that’s that. Will he ever be cured?”

“Hard to say. There are days he thinks he is invisible too.”

“That must be hard.”

“No, he is well-behaved when he thinks no one can see him. Come with me. I’ll escort you to the main gate.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do if Your House is For Sale

April 17, 2023April 16, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 60 Comments

This post ran on May 23rd, 2016. Still looks like the advice will hold.

* * *

The inspiration for this list came to me while witnessing a couple of houses for sale. I figured that, among other things, these items would be pretty obvious. I have to believe they were just not top of mind when the listing broker showed up to sign the listing. Of course, no listing broker worth their salt would point out particular areas needing improvement until the agreement is signed. After the ink is dry, it is hoped some discussion will occur.

Top Ten Things Not to Do if Your House is For Sale

10 If your house is for sale, do not decide to make your regular batch of sour kraut during the broker open house. If you do, at best, those attending are all sour kraut lovers. At worst, small notes will be made on the file to the effect that a complete cleaning will be needed to eliminate the dead animal smell. (Where did someone get the idea sour kraut smelled like a dead animal?)

9 If your house is for sale, do not assume everyone will overlook all the repairs that have been put off. If you do, At best, you might be able to save the deal by reducing the price to offset what needs fixing. At worst, you will be the proud owner of this house until it falls. (Or until you get off your butt and finish the repairs.)

8 If your house is for sale, do not think the words “Don’t mind the mess” will cause potential buyers to follow your advice. If you do, at best, the potential buyers will politely spend a few moments and then disappear. At worst, the potential buyers will factor in a mess in their offer price. (How do you feel about paying the buyers $1000.00 per messy room in a reduced offer.)

7 If your house is for sale, do not think you can shove all your junk into the garage. If you do, at best, your potential buyers will be the same kind of folks who don’t use their garage for cars. At worst, your potential buyers will assume all your junk will remain with the house and will make for the nearest exit. (Gee, you told them you would have all that stuff moved, right?)

6 If your house is for sale, do not hang around while potential buyers visit. If you do, at best, the potential buyers will think you don’t trust them. At worst, the potential buyers will believe you have some creepy alternative motive for spying on them. (The creepiness of the reason will escalate the more they see you.)

5 If your house is for sale, do not think your massive prize collection of garden gnomes has the same appeal to potential buyers. If you do, at best, your potential buyers will wonder what other collections you have that must be shipped. At worst, your potential buyers will think your house is cursed by the garden people and will make tracks out of there. (Some of those ceramic folk look like they might be dangerous after dark.)

4 If your house is for sale, do not leave your pet parrot behind for the showing. If you do, at best, the potential buyers will learn some new words that Polly has heard from you. At worst, the potential buyers are both grossly allergic to exotic bird droppings due to many years serving in the Peace Corps in the jungle. (Your first inkling of a problem is the flashing EMT lights and police cars in front of your house, all being interviewed by the Nightly News.)

3 If your house is for sale, do not go ahead with the plans for that four-week vacation. If you do, at best, you will need to come home early to sign papers. At worst, you will return after the break to find every light on, running water, and wide open doors due to some showings. (You hope you will be able to get rid of that swarm of mosquitoes that look like they are carrying malaria.)

2 If your house is for sale, do not forget to have your pest and house inspection. If you do forget, at best, the potential buyers will have it done, and the finding repairs will be up to you. At worst, the potential buyers will employ “Midnight House Inspection and Pest Control,” whose fee depends on the number of problems they can find. (You never knew you had a black widow spider infestation, did you, Bunkey?)

1 If your house is for sale, do not try to do it yourself. If you do, at best, you will avoid the obvious pitfalls of “for sale by owner.” At worst, you will find yourself discussing unforeseen issues, which will be resolved by price reductions. (It makes the commission look cheap now, doesn’t it?)

Views of the Neighborhood – Fairy Trail in Lakeway

April 16, 2023April 15, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 90 Comments

Today we will go to the Activity Center and walk on the Fairy Trail. This is a display by Parks and Recreation to celebrate spring. We are catered by Zaza Mediterranean of Austin, and our entertainment is Little Big Town

On the way to the trail is the work going on in the sculpture garden. Here is a shot of the bridge crossing Hurst Creek. The green bumpers are to keep any construction materials out of the water.

We had a shot at the pre-concrete installation a couple of weeks ago. This is newly poured.

The entrance to the fairy walk.

A friendly elk. (All the figures are lit at night)

A view of flowers and a very large dove.

Here is a bluebonnet among the rocks.

Some deer.

A different view of the flowers and dragonfly.

For Dan, pieces of equipment working on a water retention structure.

Mushrooms galore. I will admit nighttime would have been better, but I’m sure you have better things to do with your evening.

Sit back and enjoy the food and entertainment. I hope you have a wonderful week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Starts with Mono”

April 15, 2023April 14, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 68 Comments

The only sound this morning is the dignified monotone of the coffee machine, indicating the cup is ready. Feeling mononucleosis-like exhaustion from the previous week’s mayhem, the cup offers the promise of relief. A few sips bring me to the point of recognizing the silence surrounding my inner sanctum.

As my interior monologue about the serenity of the place comes to a close, the intrusive sound of the Klaxon horn connected to the doorbell shatters the momentary peace. Twiggy and Lucy take up their Hounds of Baskerville impersonation while the security shutdown procedure is begun. A quick glance at the security camera screen shows the presence of a monolith on the front porch.

The claymore mines are disarmed. The tower machine guns are placed on standby. The boiling oil vat is secured. The moat net retracted. The concertina wire rolled back. The trebuchet secured. The gate lifted. The locks and deadbolts reset. The front door opened.

A tall box stands before me. An envelope with the words OPEN ME FIRST is taped to the front. Ripping it off and tearing it open reveals two messages. The first tells me to pull the handle marked OPEN on the box. The second is from Linda Hill and says Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “starts with mono.” Find a word that starts with “mono” and use it in your post. Enjoy!

If you want to enjoy go to Linda’s blog and read how simple it is. You will also find other ~~idiots’~~ author’s versions of the prompt. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2023/04/14/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-15-2023/

“Another cliffhanger, huh?”

“Well, I needed a rest from that circus.”

“You ever get that tent taken away?”

“Yeah, but the elephant poop was a challenge.”

“That is a little too much information.”

“I suppose. I won’t go into the clown car mess then.”

“Yeah, please don’t. So, what’s going on with the box? ”

“Looks like we all will find out next week.”

“Schweinehund.”

“What’s that?”

“A friend used that word this week.”

“Okay then. I hope it wasn’t aimed at you.”

“No, he was talking about others.”

“Good. Not a compliment.”

“Do you know what it means?”

“It is an insult and can have several meanings.”

“Like what?”

“Fatherless child.”

“Bastard?”

“That and arse too.”

“Well, we can change the subject real soon.”

“I noticed you called me that.”

“Term of endearment for another cliffhanger.”

“Okay, what would you call a VooDoo Ranger?”

“Lifesaver.”

“Close enough. Uber on its way?”

“Ordered.”

“Outstanding.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF – Fri-Yay Good News

April 14, 2023April 13, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 73 Comments

Today’s good news comes from the Good News Network. Here it is in its entirety.

A Trip to Delaware Hardware Store Turns into Life-Changing Moment

Andy Corbley Apr 12, 2023

When Lowe’s employee Dave Urban came across the Getty family in the PVC aisle, he thought he would be helping them find the right fittings or something like that.

It was after he heard what was being built and who it was being built for that he took the time to do more than just help.

The Getty family was building parallel bars to help their son William practice walking.

“He was born very prematurely, just 23 weeks, so as a result, he has quadriplegic spastic cerebral palsy, and one of our goals for William is to get him walking,” mom Jessica Getty told local news.

So inspired by young Will, Dave ended up spending half an hour cutting and fitting the PVC right there in the store, ensuring that everything was perfect to help Will get started finding his feet in the world.

“Then came the test. Will got up, out of his wheelchair, and grabbed hold of those bars. I think you saw that courageous smile of his. Sense of pride, ah, it keeps getting me,” Urban said, holding back tears.

The whole family saw how much it meant to Dave, and quickly made a lasting friend out of the man, who himself said the experience rewarded him “100 times back.”

The good news here is one man cares for others and takes the time to help. Today’s JohnKu talks about the highest form of giving.

When no one’s looking,

A good deed done selflessly . . .

Ranks as number one.

Here is the video.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy, Lucy, and the Wildebeest

April 13, 2023April 12, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 81 Comments

“What’s up, Little one?”

“Dad printed off a picture of a Wildebeest.”

“Okay. Why so glum?”

“I thought it was going to be an awesome monster.”

“Well, the Wildebeest is pretty fierce.”

“Looks like a skinny water buffalo.”

“Oh, come on. Did you see those razor-sharp horns?”

“Well, I suppose those could be pretty formidable. Let’s go out and find one.”

“I’ll take a stroll and see if I can lure one out.”

“You better be careful. I had a second look, and skinny translates into fast.”

“So far, nothing, Little One.”

“Go into the rocks. Maybe they lurk there.”

Okay, I’m headed that way. Keep your eyes open while I’m gone.”

“You don’t have to tell me. I’m a highly honed watchdog.”

“Hey, who put that flower here?”

“I can’t hear you.”

“Mmm, smells like cloves. Must be a dianthus.”

“Hey, Twiggy. There’s nothing here. Go around to the other side of the house. I thought I heard the sound of hooves.”

“Nothing here, Lucy. I don’t hear anything either.”

“The Wildebeest sniffs the air. She can detect a small animal upwind. Too soon to say if it is the puma. It will be only a matter of time until the battle takes place that will settle the territorial dispute forever.”

“Lucy, what are you doing?”

“Rehearsing, Little One. Just rehearsing.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt – “We’ll”

April 11, 2023April 10, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 68 Comments

The drill is to open a book at a random page and, without looking, point to the page. The word or words nearest the finger becomes the prompt. For example, I opened The Last Drive randomly to page 187, and my finger landed on the word ‘we’ll.’ So let’s see what can be done with that word.

“Done right, and we’ll rule the world.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Aren’t you tired of being under the boot of the man?”

“I try to stay out of the way.”

“Spoken like a true wimp.”

“No spoken like someone who has learned to not make trouble.”

“As I said, a wimp. Don’t you ever want to be in command?”

“Not in my nature. So what’s your plan?”

“We lay a trap.”

“A trap? What kind of trap.”

“I think we could set it up so we could have a pit dug when the man walks across the yard. He would fall in, and we’d have him.”

“How tall is the man?”

“I would say six feet or so.”

“So to hold him the pit would have to be more that that.”

“Yeah. Hmm that would be a pretty big hole.”

“That he wouldn’t notice?”

“We’d cover it.”

“Okay. Now not to be a spoil sport how tall are you?”

“Never measured.”

“My estimate is a quarter of an inch.”

“So?”

“You are planning a hole that is at least 240 times your size. What makes you think you can do this?”

“We are ants. We lift weights 100 times our own. Why not dig hundreds of times our size? I’ll organize a digging party.”

“I think you have been listening to Frank Sinatra too much. High hopes has noting to do with this reality. Besides as you dig the hole you don’t think the man will see it?”

“I suppose it would stand out.”

“And the minute he thought a bunch of ants were digging a hole he would spray the whole mess and kill us all.”

“Okay maybe not such a good plan.”

“Why not just torture him?”

“I’m listening.”

“Sneak into the house and take his sugar.”

“That would take an army.”

“Hello. Earth to dummkoph. What’s our name?”

“It could work. I’ll spred the word.”

“We’ll rule the house or at least the sugarbowl.”

Top Ten Things Not to Say to a Cocktail Party Guest

April 10, 2023April 9, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 81 Comments

This post originally ran on May 16th, 2016. Since cocktail parties are still going on, I think it will be helpful.

* * *

The inspiration for this list came after attending some parties recently. Although I’m not a psychologist, I can only surmise the individuals I happened to run into were behaving abnormally. In searching for truth, I Googled social disorders and came upon “Cocktail Party Guest,” and the explanation became clear. I hope you enjoy the list. If you are, at times, a cocktail party guest, know this list is with love.

Top Ten Things Not to Say to a Cocktail Party Guest

10 If you happen to talk to a cocktail party guest, do not say, ”How are you?” If you do at best, you will only have to stand for ten or so minutes for the rundown. At worst, you will be forced to take the person home with you since you are now forced into the position of Good Samaritan. (You had hoped they would say, “Fine,” like everyone else, didn’t you?)

9 If you happen to talk to a cocktail party guest, do not say you are a writer. If you do, at best, the person will tell you some stories they will write. At worst, you will be forced into a corner and have to tell the person they remind you of Ernest Hemingway. (Of course, maybe one of those stories will be your next novel)

8 If you happen to talk to a cocktail party guest, do not say anything about your last vacation. If you do, At best, you must attempt to get away after the second holiday story. At worst, you will watch your ice melt as you go on a verbal tour of all the continents. (Don’t you wish a trap door would open and drop you ten stories to the furnace room.)

7 If you happen to talk to a cocktail party guest, do not say, “What do you do?”. If you do, at best, they will try to convince you they own the city. At worst, they will be in the selling profession and won’t let you go until you sign up for a cleaning product pyramid scheme. (Wasn’t this the project you read about where all the company officers went to jail?)

6 If you happen to talk to a cocktail party guest, do not ask where they live. If you do, at best, they will assume you are trying to type their social/economic status. At worst, the person will believe you are a cat burglar and have designs on their jewels and money. (In each case, you didn’t get an answer, and the latter begs the question, did you enjoy the police escort home?)

5 If you happen to talk to a cocktail party guest, do not be the first to mention your kids. If you do, at best, the person has you outnumbered by a factor of two children. At worst, the person you are talking to has just returned from Washington, where they witnessed the President giving their child the Student of the Year award. (Man, it could not get any more humiliating than that, huh, Bunky?)

4 If you happen to talk to a cocktail party guest, do not raise a political point. If you do, at best, the person is a political science professor at the college, and you are in for a pretty long evening. At worst, the person is a member of a splinter group who has the destruction of the two-party system as a mission. (How do you feel going home with your very own AK 47 gift)

3 If you happen to talk to a cocktail guest, do not admit you know nothing about Doctor Who or Marvel Comic characters. If you do, at best, you will need to find someone else with which to talk. At worst, the person will take the next three hours to provide the background and in-depth synopsis of every episode or character. (Remember to relax your knees occasionally so you don’t pass out.)

2 If you happen to talk to a cocktail party guest, do not make a negative comment about the party. If you do, at best, the person will disagree and then tell the host. At worst, you will make your unfortunate comments to the unknown spouse of the host, who just happens to play golf once a week with your boss. (That meeting with the boss on Monday might be a bit tense, hey Bud?)

1 If you happen to talk to a cocktail guest, do not keep calling them by the wrong name. If you do, at best, the fourth correction will verify you are an idiot. At worst, unbeknownst to you, this person has been hired by the company you work for to come in and weed out the deadwood. (You may not be too old to find another job. Yeah, Right?)

Views of the Neighborhood – Lakeway Air Park Celebration of Alan Babin’s 20 Years of Life

April 9, 2023April 8, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 65 Comments

Today we will visit Lakeway’s Air Park, where a celebration of Alan Babin’s 20 years of life takes place. It was 20 years ago the Army medic was severely wounded while saving others. If you want to read more about Alan, you can visit my post HERE.

We will have pancakes and sausage at the airpark, and our entertainment will be Lee Greenwood.

Picture of an old time school bus

So get on the bus and let’s go.

Here we are at the air park. The marker tells us we are in the right place.

The tables are ready for the pancake breakfast.

A tribute to Alan. Since he was a medic, he has the nickname “Doc.” Today, in addition to the open house and breakfast, Alan will be taken on a flight around Lake Travis escorted by a warbird.

Here is the plane that will take Alan on his ride. It is a 1973 BEECH C90

Incoming is the War bird that will escort Alan’s flight.

A taxi to position.

A 1949 NORTH AMERICAN T-6G was used as a trainer for naval aviators. Others have flown in for the occasion.

A 1943 Aircraft: Beechcraft D17A Staggerwing

A 1946 Piper PA-12 Super Cruiser with flotation.

1946 Piper PA-12 Super Cruiser without flotation.

A 1963 PIPER PA-18-135 with flotation.

A 2021 Vans RV-10

Folks looking at the plane that will take Alan on his flight.

The Producer caught a shot of the flight.

Well, that is the tour. So, let’s join the others and enjoy those pancakes while we listen to the music. I hope you have a great week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Starts with Gen.”

April 8, 2023April 7, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 68 Comments

The blessed coffee machine generously gives up its treasure without nary a peep. Sipping the revitalizing fluid generates a lightning flash in the Morpheus stunned brain. It comes with the melodious and, if truth be known, ominous cords of the calliope. The circus must still be in the backyard.

Racing to the back confirms the worst case. The large tent is still in place and filled with what appear to be hundreds of spectators. Phil Harris’ electronic voice echoes throughout the interior space.” Ladies and Gentlemen and children of all ages. I now direct your attention to the center ring where our very own Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner will attempt on the high wire a feat that has never been attempted before.”

A hush comes over the crowd, and a lone spotlight picks up Wile E. Coyote precariously balanced on a bicycle high up in the tent’s rarified air on a taught wire. There is no net, so death-defying takes on a new meaning. He is holding a rocket from the ACME Bird Blasting Company. The Roadrunner is at the other end of the wire, and it appears that she intends to run straight at Wile while continuing to maintain balance.

The music reaches a crescendo, and the Roadrunner begins her run. Wile engages the rocket fuse and takes aim at the Roadrunner. As the distance closes, the rocket ignites, and Wile struggles to hold it for a last-minute adjustment. Unfortunately, he does so for a second too long as the afterburner kicks in, and the rocket and Wile punch through the tent ceiling and are last seen acting out the “Rockets Red Glare” lyrics from the Star Spangled Banner.

A “beep beep” causes me to jump two feet and realize the Roadrunner is behind me. Once turning, she hands me an envelope. Then, with another “beep beep,” she is gone. We all know the drill. It’s from Linda Hill. The message reads, Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “starts with gen.” Find a word that starts with “gen” and use it in your post. Have fun!

If you want to have fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. While there, you can read some other posts with today’s prompt. Here’s the link. https://lindaghill.com/2023/04/07/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-8-2023/

“Okay, I hope this is the last circus bit.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“I still don’t get it. This is your blog, yet you act like you are a victim of all these visitors.”

“I get that feeling sometimes.”

“What’s with your generation of writers anyway?”

“What do you mean?”

“You all talk about your characters going off and running the show.”

“It does occur once in a while.”

“What are you, a wimp? You have the keyboard, for heaven’s sake.”

“As a general rule, yes.”

“So what happens?”

“A writer allows a character to go in a certain direction, and then before long, it seems like the character is writing the scene.”