You know the drill. I open a book to a random page and then, without looking, point to the page. The word or words closest to the pointing finger will be the prompt. Today I opened Eternal Road to page 111. There are two words under my finger; wine and crackers. So let’s go with those.
The old man sits on the bench and uses his two hands on the cane to hold himself upright. Tired would not even come close to describing how he is feeling. The years of work and worry have evaporated any remaining moisture of youth. The cane shakes in response to the hands upon it. His interest in continuing another day is about the same as taking a ten-mile walk home. He might like to do it, but the effort seems overwhelming right now. He wishes he could remember how he got to this bench, but like most of the fog of his days, the mystery is not worth taking time to solve.
Squinting to avoid the sun’s glare, he sees a group of men ambling up the middle of the street, raising small dust clouds with each step. He thinks maybe they will be able to help him get back to his house. He wants to wait until they draw closer since his old man’s voice sounds like a cracking whisper. Repeating what he says has become an annoyance and another drain on what little resources he has left.
The men are abreast of his position, and he calls out, “Hey can anyone help me?” The men stop and look in his direction. One pulls away from the group and approaches the old man. “What’s the matter, pops? Lose your wine and crackers?” The others chuckle and shift on their feet.
“When I was your age, I had a little more respect for old people.”
“Aw, pops, I meant no disrespect. I’m sorry. What can I do to help you?”
The old man explains that he doesn’t know how he got on this bench and would like to go home but has no way to get there. The young man uses his thumb and pushes his wide-brim hat back on his head. “You have any family?”
“I think I used to, but I can’t rightly tell you if they are still around. I live alone.”
“I see. Well, we will be glad to help, but we have a job to do first. Are you going to be okay until we get back? Shouldn’t take more than a half hour.”
“Mighty obliged to you. Yes, I can wait a half hour.”
“Alright then. You stay here in the shade, and we’ll be going over to that corral there to arrest some rustlers.”
“You a lawman?”
“Yup, I’m the marshall hereabouts. Name’s Earp. Wyatt Earp. Them’s my deputies.”
“Pleased to meet you, Wyatt. I’ll be right here awaitin’.”
“Good for you, pops. Don’t you worry; everything’s going to be alright.”
This post was originally run on May 8th, 2017. I think the advice still holds true.
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The inspiration for the list was the rotation of an old car for a new car for The Producer. Yes, it was her turn for a new vehicle and brought to mind some of the things that I will never even think of doing in it.
Top Ten Things Not to Do in Your Spouse’s New Car
10 In your spouse’s new car, do not eat fast food anything. If you do, at best, the lingering smell will give you away. At worst, all efforts to contain the mustard will fail in one small conspicuous spot. (You never thought mustard could stain leather, did you, Ferd?)
9 In your spouse’s new car, do not park anywhere near the shopping cart return area. If you do, at best, all the returns will be in the slot. At worst, the car will collect shopping carts like a magnet. (Maybe you could claim you were attacked by zombie shopping carts, huh, Bosco?)
8 In your spouse’s new car, do not take the dog. If you do, at best, you’ll need to vacuum out the hair. At worst, the dog needed a nail trim and a bath, so now the seats are not only dirty but also scratched. (You could claim a wild raccoon got in an open window or just leave home, Buford.)
7 In your spouse’s new car, do not pick up anything from Home Depot. If you do, at best, the potting soil dirt can be cleaned up. At worst, the technician forgot to replace the oil cap on that chain saw, which makes the back seat area look like a CSI crime scene. (Don’t worry about the consequences Tex. You won’t live to see tomorrow.)
6 In your spouse’s new car, do not follow that gravel truck. If you do at best, you’ll stay back far enough to avoid the falling rocks. At worst, the replacement windshield is only $1200.00. (You better hope the guy can get it done today, huh, Bunky?)
5 In your spouse’s car, do not park in a tight spot. If you do, at best, your neighbors will take great care not to ding your car. At worst, you’ve blocked in Tiny, the WWF champ who has just arrived to attend his first counseling session on overcoming claustrophobia. (No telling when he will stop trying to get out of his car. Maybe when his door falls off, or the new car has been crushed enough to give him freedom, Putz.)
4 In your spouse’s car, do not change the radio. If you do, at best, you can remember to set it back to the original station. At worst, you will forget and be the recipient of a “no use” order. (Hard to follow that order when your car is blocked in, huh, Buster? Hint. Don’t even think about taking that new car. Get that old Schwinn.)
3 In your spouse’s car, do not exceed the speed limit when told not to do it. If you do, at best, no one will know. At worst, even though you tried to cover it up, your ticket is being used as a training event for the local police and covered by the six o’clock news. (Your best bet is to hit the circuit breaker at 5:59 and blame a power outage. Handling the neighbor’s phone calls will be a trickier matter huh, Ralph?)
2 In your spouse’s car, do not have a cup of hot coffee while you drive. If you do, at best, that small spill will be caught by your shirt. At worst, the unseen pothole makes the coffee go airborne, leaving some interesting stain patterns on the light-colored upholstery. (You now know that those OXY-Clean commercials overpromise, huh, Pal?)
1 In your spouse’s car, do not drive on that new asphalt road. If you do, at best, a few spots will come off with mineral spirits. At worst, your spouse’s white car appears as if it is a prop in a new One Hundred and One Dalmatian film promotion. (The sad part is you were told to avoid that area, right, Pard?)
Today we are going on a trip to the unusual. Today’s collection is varied and not related to a theme. We are catered by Ezov of Austin. Our entertainment is The Eurythmics.
My blinking SOS with my eyes had no effect on the clerk. WTF went through my brain as the clerk handed me my temporary membership card. Making faces and rolling my eyes did nothing to alert the clerk that my condition was SOL. Jessica grabs my arm and pulls me away from the desk. “Let’s get to the statue,” she says through her teeth. Seeing that the clerk will be no help, there is no choice but to enter the store.
My mind is racing as the checker waves us on. The only thought that comes is to stall as much as possible. Pointing in the direction of the last row clear across the store, we start moving in that direction. Wishing the opportunity to grab someone and scream bloody murder would come up, my objective is to move as slowly as possible.
“Quit stalling.” Jessica seems to be on to me. We pass the clothing displays, and Jessica does not appreciate me pointing out the terrific saving on bib overalls. We come to a woman holding a tray of cream cheese on cracker samples, and again, Jessica takes exception to my offer of trying one. She grips my arm with enough pressure to turn my hand black. “I’m not afraid to use this gun right here. Unless you want to be DOA, my suggestion is you get to the statue proto.”
A sigh passes my lips, realizing that my goose is now in the oven. Wait, an idea pops into my head. All that needs to be done is to go to the rotisserie oven and grab a couple of hot birds. Tossing them at Jessica and the big guy might be enough of a diversion for me to start screaming like a girl and get some help. With the plan in mind, I steer them toward the hot chickens. Grabbing two birds and flinging them catches both Jessica and the big guy off guard. Jessica starts swearing. The big guy decides to start eating my contribution is a scream that could crack the crystal.
A security guy comes over, and both the big guy and Jessica book for the exit. The security guy looks at my membership card and lets me know there is a message from Linda Hill. He shows me the message on his iPad, and it reads; Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “acronym’.” Choose an acronym and use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
When vacationers were trapped in a historic Washington town after ferries were canceled due to weather concerns, they feared they might have to sleep on the streets.
That’s when ferry terminal worker William Patterson invited all ten of them to stay at his house for the night.
It was in the early evening that 79-year-old Kip Goodwin and his wife from Hawaii had finished calling every hotel and Airbnb in the Olympic Peninsula’s Port Townsend—they were all fully booked for the summer holiday season.
Neither had they luck at the YMCA or Red Cross—even the campgrounds were unavailable. Fearfully looking at each other amid the sound of howling wind, Patterson interrupted their worrying to tell them they would all be staying with him and his wife, Arianna.
Nestled among the pines on the Admiralty Inlet, Port Townsend is serviced by the United States’ largest ferry network, but the Port Townsend-to-Coupeville route, which Goodwin and the others were hoping to take after a day trip to Port Townsend and Whidbey Island, was canceled after winds picked up. The ferries had to remain tied to their moorings.
All three round trips were canceled, starting at 6:45 pm and on to 9:00 pm.
Arianna Patterson joked with the Seattle Times that her husband always threatened he’d bring a “straggler” home one day. William called and asked if they could make space for the Goodwins.
“I said, ‘We have enough space for two, no big deal,’” Arianna said. “Then he called back and said, ‘We have eight or nine other people.’ I said, oh.”
Like the Goodwins, most of the passengers were over 60 years of age, so the Pattersons were just happy they could get the visitors out of the weather. At the home, there was space on the couch and an extra bed, but pretty quickly, people were on the floor, borrowing blankets that their hosts had from their time welcoming foster kids.
Early the next morning, William went out to the cafe he runs along with his work at the ferry terminal to make pastries and coffee for them all.
It was unbelievable,” said Fred Dente, 79, who lives in Langley and was visiting with his wife and their two friends from Hawaii. “It was the way humans should treat humans. In this day and age, it was exceptional.”
That morning was crisp and clear, and at 7:00 am, the ferries set sail.
The good news here is someone cared about the welfare of others. Today’s JohnKu asks a question about this situation. I hope you have a wonderful Weekend.
“So Twiggy. I want you to evaluate two toys and see which one you like the best.”
“Yes, it sounds like a good way to select a toy. I’m ready.”
“That is a hedgehog toy.”
“It does have an animal scent.”
“How does it feel?”
“The mouthfeel is okay. The stuffing is a little too soft for my taste.”
Is it playable?”
“Yeah, it flips nicely. Doesn’t land on its feet, though.”
“How about durability?”
“Now there’s a problem. As I pull on the fur, it comes off in my mouth. Yuk.”
Here’s the next one. It doesn’t have fur.”
“Sometimes that’s better. At least I don’t have to worry about swallowing some.”
“It is a bumble bee and a heart with ‘Bee Mine’ on it.”
“So, looks like a leftover Valentine’s Day toy. Hmm tastes okay. No unpleasant aftertaste.
“How about the fragrance?”
“Nice bouquet. A bit floral without the usual vinyl interference.”
“Playability?”
“Yeah, it has a pleasing crunch, and these antennae are very satisfying.”
“What is your overall opinion?”
“This toy fulfills all the expectations for a real entertainment treat. It is subtly understated, which then has the effect of overdelivering on the satisfaction promise.”
“Which do you like the best?”
“Unfortunately, the hedgehog has a shedding problem, so I have to select Bee Mine.”
From our house to yours, we wish you a Happy Fourth of July and a Happy Birthday to our precious democracy. Play safe, and maybe take a moment to reflect on all the freedoms we have here in the United States.
This post ran on May 15, 2017. I think it is still good advice. I hope you enjoy it.
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The inspiration for this list is the fact that I love to cook. I cook a lot and have made some interesting dishes that didn’t quite make the delicious category. So I hope you enjoy this batch.
Top Ten Things Not to Do When Cooking.
10 If you are cooking, do not think you can walk away to let things “simmer.” If you do, at best, the dish will burn. At worst, the fire department has opened an investigation to see if the configuration was set on purpose. (You always wondered what the chirping noise in those smoke detectors was huh, Buford. Well, seems they finally died.)
9 If you are cooking, do not think your brother-in-law, Tiny, the WWF champ, is going to act as your sous chef. If you do, at best, there might be some yelling. At worst, Tiny just left his court-ordered anger management session and is taking out his frustration on your new twelve-piece setting of China. (I think asking him to make a souffle was over the top, don’t you, Ferd?)
8 If you are cooking, and have a pan in the oven to finish, do not forget the oven mitt when you take it out. If you do, at best, you’ll remember in a split second after you touch the handle. At worst, you are now the proud owner of a new All-Clad brand in the palm of your hand. (Didn’t you notice the smoke, Buster?)
7 If you are cooking, do not think for every cup of wine in the recipe, you need to drink a like amount. If you do, at best, there is only one cup. At worst, you need to wonder how everyone liked the meal that you slept through. (You are no Julia Child, Tex. Oh, by the way, your wife’s lawyer just called.)
6 If you are cooking, don’t think you don’t need to follow a recipe. If you do, at best, you are making scrambled eggs. At worst, the EMS driver has called the Center for Disease Control, thinking there is a massive epidemic in your sick family. (So you didn’t understand some of the ingredients, Ralph. It still looked good enough to eat, which was unfortunate for everyone.)
5 If you are cooking, do not try to call your local carry-out and pass it off as yours. If you do, at best, you’ll have to fess up. At worst, everyone will compliment your effort as the best ever. (Sadly, they even started to list some of your worst dishes, huh, Pard?)
4 If you are cooking, do not invite anyone over for dinner until you have mastered the dish. If you do, at best, no one will tell you that the meal was bad. At worst, each of your guests had an emergency phone call and had to leave. (Did you wonder why most only took one bite before the emergency, Putz?)
3 If you are cooking, do not do your famous garlic surprise the night before that real estate open house. If you do, at best, the Fabreeze air freshener might cover it. At worst, the attendees will manage a one-minute stay before needing oxygen. (Ever wonder why people never visit you, Jake?)
2 If you are cooking, do not think everyone loves their food spicy hot. If you do, at best, you’ll have a ton of leftovers. At worst, you will have to put up with people running to the nearest faucet for relief. (A little embarrassing to have all your faucets covered by gulping dinner guests, isn’t it, Bunky?)
1 If you are cooking, do not trust that automatic start on the oven. If you do, at best, you can fill in with McDonald’s. At worst, the prospect of serving raw turkey to your boss has you frantically trying to make a reservation. (It seems all the restaurants are booked up, huh, Goofus?)
Since this is pre-Fourth of July, The Producer and I thought we might like some Fourth of July decoration photos. Unfortunately, the folks in the neighborhood did not agree since none of the decorations are up. So we had to switch gears and bring you the next best thing. (wait for it) Porch swings and rocking chairs. (I have O2 on the bus for anyone whose breath has been taken away.) At least it is a nice summer day for an outing. We are being catered by Kome of Austin. Our entertainment is Kid Rock.
Menu
sushi a-go-go classic rolls
Austin – krab salad, avocado, tuna, eel sauce, sesame seeds
