Top Ten Things Not to do at a High School Reunion

July 6, 2015July 5, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 39 Comments

This list is as a result of seeing some high school reunion photos and messages on a number of social media sites. I have never attended a high school reunion, so the information captured here has been matters of here say and recounting of others about their reunion.

Top Ten Thing Not to do at a High School Reunion

10 If you attend a high school reunion, do not pose for photos that you don’t know where they will end up. If you do at best, the photos will only be traded among classmates. At worst, they will end up on the “what the not to wear, eat, or drink” website.(Which will go viral and you’ll be getting calls from the Today show to appear on their segment called EXCESS)

9 If you attend a high school reunion, do not pretend to be what you are not. If you do, at best your little fib will be seen as a joke. At worst, your profile on the class newsletter will be featured under the title Most Successful Grad. (Which will be picked up by the news services and published by your newspaper)

8 If you attend a high school reunion, do not bring a date that you do not know simply because they are beautiful. If you do, at best your charade will be found out early with no consequences. At worst, your date will discover the true reason you brought them and will make an exit and a scene remembered for the next five reunions. (Only you passing away will halt the story telling)

7 If you attend a high school reunion, do not rent an expensive car for your grand entrance. If you do, at best you will look overly anxious to impress and get the opposite reaction. At worst, the valet will take your rental car for a spin and inadvertently leave the side chrome on the street fleeing a hit and run accident. (Which you will easily be able to explain to the judge)

6 If you attend a high school reunion, do not try to hide the fact that you don’t remember everyone’s name. If you do, at best you will look like a fool trying to check name tags without being caught. At worst, you will call someone by a different name, and the name will be associated by that person to an old flame or rival. (You will have lots a bunch of points on that one)

5 If you attend a high school reunion, do not take this time to argue fine points about your grades with your old teachers. If you do, at best the teachers will wish they had flunked you. At worst, one of them may remember you failed to turn in that assignment in the eleventh grade that will require you to repeat the course and nullify your high school diploma. (Try explaining that to your boss)

4 If you attend a high school reunion, do not think your old flame wants to begin where you left off just by smiling at you. If you do, at best you will be embarrassed to learn they are happily married. At worst, you will be a little too forward thinking all is forgiven only to be arrested as you leave the building for assault. ( Gotta remember no means no)

3 If you attend a high school reunion, do not assume the free drinks at the bar carry no consequences. If you do, at best you may exhibit a little tipsiness that everyone will think is cute. At worst, you will have the honor and resulting infamy of passing out on top of the Congratulations Class cake. (The clothes you’re wearing belong to your roommate as well.)

2 If you go to a high school reunion, do not offer to be part of the planning committee for the next one. If you do, at best everyone will forget your offer. At worst, you will be appointed chairperson with all the rights and responsibilities to make the nest one the best ever. (You will also want to get a Xanax prescription)

1 If you go to a high school reunion do not tell everyone you meet that “we must get together.” If you do at best, they will all wonder if you are having a breakdown. At worst, the ones you least want to see will stay in touch long enough to cop a free overnight on their way through your town. (Plus they have some kind of foot infection that requires you to burn your sheets when they leave)

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Is”

July 4, 2015July 3, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 26 Comments

Is it Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again? Yes, class, it is. This week the prompt is as described by Linda Hill “Use the word “is” to begin your post – bonus points for using it (as a word on its own or at the end of your final word, i.e. “metamorphosis”) at the end of your post as well.” If you would like to participate go to Linda’s site http://lindaghill.com/2015/07/03/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-415/. Here is my interpretation.

“Is the instruction quite clear to you?”

“Uh, I think it is.”

“Okay then tell me what your understanding is.”

“I’m required to use the word “is” in a post.”

“Nice so far. What else is expected to happen?”

“Um, I’m supposed to start the post with the word is.”

“Is that what you did?”

“Er, I think the question at the very beginning is what is required.”

“The question is again?”

“Is this Stream of Consciousness Saturday? It is way up top at the beginning.”

“Good I think you have what is required.”

“But one more thing is necessary.”

“Yeah, and what is that?”

Is is supposed to be the last word or part of the last word in the post.”

“Is that right?”

“Yes, it is.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

July 3, 2015July 1, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 22 Comments

Friday has arrived and with it all kinds of people on vacation since most places are taking the fourth holiday today. There is no need to go on about the fact that we are all glad it’s Friday since there are only eight more hours to the weekend. Heck, the weekend is here and it’s a long one. There is plenty of time to get into the rest mode. For those of you lucky enough to have Monday off you have plenty of time to get into the comatose mode. I can hardly believe it is July already. The year is half over and it is going by really fast. I have to wish you all a Happy Fourth of July and hopefully a safe one at that. Today’s JohnKu (a term coined by Words4jp) is about the holiday

So many years now,

Our freedoms have been preserved. . .

Celebrate the birth.

Thursday – A Little Personal

July 2, 2015June 30, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 40 Comments

Thursday is the time to do a post that has some meaning to me and will hopefully not bore you to death. Today I’m posting a status of my self-installed screening on my screen porch to appeal to my DIY muse Dan Antion. Dan is always interested in this kind of stuff, and I also am interested when he shows us some of his skill. (you should go to his blog No Facilities by clicking on his name) So without any delay let’s go to a before photo.

You can see the screening is installed on the outside of the porch railing and is in need of repair. Since I’m an older person, it is now difficult to go on a ladder knowing the twenty some odd foot fall will be my last. Also, these screens are made of aluminum, and the salt air dissolves them and they let go where the screw attaches them to the wood.

Here is the after.

What has happened is all the screens were removed and then a new vinyl system installed. The screening was moved to the inside so that whenever they need repair this old person can do it without risking a broken hip (or worse).

This final shot gives you an idea what the system looks like from the inside. The screen, the base, and the cap (that white strip) are all made of vinyl and should last a number of years (or until the hurricane) whichever comes first. The shot is a little dark because the screening material is solar blocking. Hoped you weren’t too bored but I am very pleased with the results

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

July 1, 2015June 30, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 42 Comments

Wednesday Story day and last week Charlotte learns Bob is seeing a psychologist and hasn’t told him about not being welcome at home. Charlotte is understandably confused by this revelation. Let’s go back and see what ole Bob has up his sleeve next. I have to let you know it will not be a pretty sight.

“Why haven’t you told your psychologist that your mother doesn’t want you at home?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I guess because he can’t do much about it.”

“He might be able to help you some of the feelings.”

“What feelings? I don’t care to be where I’m not wanted.”

“But Bob this has to make you angry.”

“Why?”

“Well, for one thing your own mother is locking you out of the house and should not be doing that to you.”

“Aw, who cares? She is busy with all those guys and who in the hell wants to stay around that crap.”

“See you sound angry.”

“I’m not the least bit angry. I just don’t care about her life is all.”

“She’s your mother, Bob. You should care.”

“Who told you to get on my back about this? Oh, that’s right I keep forgetting you are on that bitch’s payroll. What’s the matter, Charlotte? You afraid of losing some of your blood money?”

“Bob. I’m just trying to help.”

“Of course you are Charlotte. You are just trying to help yourself. How much does she pay you anyway?”

“I don’t think that’s important.”

“What’s important then? You’re butting your damn nose into my business. Is that important? Huh? Answer me Charlotte. Is that want’s important?”

“Bob you need to calm down.”

“Sure calm down and eat more shit. Is that it Charlotte?”

“Bob. I’m going to ask you to leave if you can’t get a hold of yourself.”

“Sure, mommy Charlotte. Sure I’ll get out of your house so you can mess around with someone who you like more. That’s what you want isn’t it. How about I take care of you so no one will find you attractive enough? Huh, mommy? Is that what you want?”

“Bob. Please let go. You’re hurting me.”

“You tramp. You don’t think you’ve hurt me all these years?”

“Bob I’m Charlotte, not your mother. I care for you.”

“Yeah I’m sure you care, and that’s what has me so wanting to punch you in the face. A money-grubbing bitch cares for me, and my own mother hates me.”

“Bob. Please, Bob, I can’t breathe. Bob, please let go. We can talk. Bob?”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – #RRBC Author Jan Hawke

June 30, 2015June 29, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 43 Comments

I am so pleased to Welcome author Jan Hawke to Fiction Favorites. Jan is on a 4Wills Publishing MILELE SAFARI Blog Tour in celebration of her book Milele Safari a wonderful fictional African story. Jan the post is yours to give some background to your book.

Thanks, John Tanzania was somewhere I always dreamed of going to one day. I wanted to see the Great Migration (vast herds of wildebeest, zebra, gazelles and antelopes) across the Serengeti and the Ngorongoro Crater and onwards to the north across the Mara river into Kenya’s Maasai Mara. A childhood spent avidly watching

Tanzania was somewhere I always dreamed of going to one day. I wanted to see the Great Migration (vast herds of wildebeest, zebra, gazelles and antelopes) across the Serengeti and the Ngorongoro Crater and onwards to the north across the Mara river into Kenya’s Maasai Mara. A childhood spent avidly watching Daktari, various film incarnations of Tarzan, safari movies like The Snows of Kilimanjaro, or King Solomon’s Mines, and, above all, David Attenborough’s wonderful wildlife excursions, meant I had high expectations and when I finally got there, these were more than met. Rather too much in some instances, as the latter half of the holiday, further south exploring the Selous wilderness where licensed game hunting still went lucratively on, provided several eye-opening reality checks on how some of the other half lives in Africa.

Enough has been written of the Serengeti National Park to need little embellishment on the beauty of its landscapes and denizens, but it nevertheless left us with a deep impression of the fragility of the eco-system and how hard it was to make it a sustainable world heritage region in terms of climate and economic factors. The brochures were full of luscious descriptions of the exclusive game lodges that you could stay at and, by and large these were delivered, even if the upkeep of them proved less than adequate. The Great Migration the time we were there had not yet happened, as the animals were elsewhere on their journey following the water trail, so we didn’t see the vast herds of ungulates that we craved, but we did see territorial animals such as leopard, cheetah and lion as well as some of the usual antelopes, elephants, giraffe and indeed zebra and gnu that had passed on the annual procession for whatever reason. The lack of rains also meant that game spotting was pretty simple as our elderly Tanzanian guide, Muhammad, simply visited the places he knew would still have water.
I saw sights I’ll never forget, such as a cheetah stalking and bringing down a sleepy Thomson’s gazelle, where I cried and nearly fainted with excitement as I forgot to breathe, just like the sprinting predator was doing. We saw a truly superb leopard up a tree, on whom ‘Moll’ in the Perfect Day chapter is based, and rare black rhino and lion – so many lion, in the Ngorongoro Crater.

Our accommodation choices were not as advertised exactly, but added to the sense of adventure in that lack of water oddly meant fairly high humidity, even on the high plains and one of my abiding memories of the country is the faint to overpowering scent of mildew in our rooms or tents. We went for lunch at one of those luscious panoramic glass and timber hotels with a swimming pool embedded in a kopje and found the ‘lido’ several years into being dried up and one of the ground floor ablutions areas looking like it had been invaded by several rather cross rhinos…
Our trip to the Selous in the non-hunting jungle-like reserve north of the Rufiji River was heaven and hell in comparison, with heaven being what at first seemed to be a very basic tented camp, but had a licence to shoot game for the pot. It was there that we dined like kings on catfish cakes, wildebeest liver and onions and warthog sandwiches and then curry. Divine after our other venue, an ex-camp for Scandinavian engineers working on a dam project that never got built. The manager did his best to run what was billed as ‘luxury’ guest accommodation in rusty-roofed chalets with re-cycled fuel cans for lavatories and an almost non-existent food budget, except for a rather pathetic vegetable garden, a few elderly and very muscular hens that had stopped laying, and copious supplies of discount corned beef – which did at least make a fairly good spaghetti bolognese for lunch.

We dined out on the Tanzanian experience for some time back home in Kent and, looking back on it we did have a great time, even the bad bits, because it really was authentic travellers fare and brought home to us exactly what Africa meant for the people who had to live there. It was just a pity we’d had to spend a small fortune for the experience.

Excerpt from The Land of Nod
Terry sighed with impatience. ‘We must be able to do something surely?’ It was the fiftieth time she had said something like this since she’d pulled herself together Tom thought. Henryk appeared to concur as Terry joined Christian at the window. The old German spoke with authority still despite his dejected looks. ‘So long as they are just talking we should wait. If we interfere it may make things worse. You know this as well as I Teresa…’

Barely a second after he said it both Christian and Terry jumped and drew breath sharply. ‘He is hitting her!’

Christian’s appalled exclamation was drowned out by Terry’s outraged shout ‘Stop that you filthy animal!’

Nobody was quick enough to stop her as she hurtled past an open-mouthed Tom and out of the door, deftly evading the one militia man left guarding them. Briefly he trained his weapon after her, but the others were all on their feet and Tom was halfway towards the door himself. The young Matu was wide-eyed and frightened and swung the gun around nervously as Tom came to an abrupt halt with the three others cannoning into his back. They could all hear Terry yelling like a banshee and the clergyman screaming back at her in rapid French. Their guard was getting a grip and gestured fiercely for them to get back. They all hurried back to the little window, all four of them craning around to try and see what was happening outside.

‘They are not wicked! They are frightened you devil-spawn!’ Terry’s eyes blazed with fury. ‘What did they ever do to you?’ Her French was suddenly fluent again after all these years. She was still scared as hell, but her anger was aflame now and it carried her on, passionately determined to stop this craven traitor who dared to declare himself a Man of God, no matter what it took.

‘Keep out of this you snivelling worm!’ he snarled. ‘These women are less then pigs and they must come back to Zyanda with us!’ He snapped at one of the men with a rifle. ‘Get this stupid foreigner back inside or kill her!’ He turned his mad eyes back on Terry. ‘Go back to your no-good ghosts before I really lose my temper!’

……………

Tom’s gaze strayed to the window again to the women and girls cringing away from the Matu guards. They were looking at the nun as though she were mad. Never, never again did he want to see people that petrified with terror. He turned back to Henryk and saw his own concern echoed. ‘She is my best friend and the kindest, strongest person I know. I love her like my sister and I’ll do anything I can to help her.’ Henryk smiled up at him. ‘She deserves to have such good friends Tom.’

‘He says you can both go out to get the lady.’ Christian’s voice broke in on them. He looked worried and tired too. ‘He says his grandfather is the one holding the rifle – that he will not hurt her, but the other one – their leader – he is a very angry man who will listen to no one. He will kill her himself if she does not stop. You must hurry.’

Henryk sighed and looked at Tom then back at Christian. ‘Thank you my friend. And tell the young soldier thank you also for us please. You will look after my wife for me until I get back?’ Christian smiled shyly and nodded his head at the two Europeans.

‘You take much care Pastor, and you my friend.’

Tom forced a big smile at the quietly spoken young man and at the guard as he and Henryk walked calmly out of the school house into the strong African noonday sun.

Other Tanzanian chapters
Here be Dragons – Sophie arrives in Tanzania to take up her new post at the Teresa Olatunde Community Hospital, helping others come to terms with terrible memories even as she lays her own past to rest.

Hard Rains – the rains come late and hard and Sophie is caught up in a natural disaster, just after a herdsman is brought in with gunshot wounds after a brutal encounter with hardened, well-equipped poachers.

Angels of the Abyss – as police arrive at the devastation, it emerges that the poachers have far more sinister origins and Mgakera sends a convoy with food and shelter for the stricken community, while Luey flies more medical aid in.

Author Bio:
I live near Launceston in Cornwall, UK with Toby and Benji the Springer Spaniels – it’s a tie between us all as to who’s maddest, but as I outrank them in being weird anyway it’s not open to debate really.
I’m physically lazy with things that don’t hold much interest for me (so that’s mostly housework and, increasingly, cooking…), but I love where we live, mainly because I chose it for being so quiet and off the beaten track, very close to the moors and quite near to the sea.

I also love books, both to write and to read, the latter of which can be very eclectic (I enjoy Julian Barnes, Kate Atkinson, Jeanette Winterson and will happily admit to Jilly Cooper too) but in the main I’m heavily into SF&F, particularly Tolkien, Terry Pratchett and Julian May, although I can pass on Zombie Apocalypses fairly easily…

…how I’ve chosen to write about Africa for my first novel may be something of a surprise to my friends, but if you read it you may find that all of the above information manifests in there somehow!

Future projects include a futuristic fantasy series, loosely grounded in Celtic myth – The Shadow Chronica (http://havenlands.blogspot.co.uk/), which is kind of stalled at present, but I’ll be dusting it off as summer gets in full flood with the first novel hopefully available at the tail end of 2016.

Book Blurb:
Milele Safari back blurb – Milele Safari – An Eternal Journey …twines around a single day, in an unremarkable border village that snuffs out the lives of four people and shatters many others, only to draw the survivors back to a different time and, perhaps, a hope of atonement and peace. Step out on the journey and discover an Africa that could have been, is and might one day come to be.

Book links –
Amazon (print & eBook) – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0992747201/http://www.amazon.com/dp/0992747201/
Barnes & Noble (print only) – http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/milele-safari-an-eternal-journey-janette-mary-hawke/1117529970?ean=9780992747206 http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/milele-safari-an-eternal-journey-janette-mary-hawke/1117529970?ean=9780992747206
Milele Safari blog – http://milelesafari.blogspot.co.uk/p/taster-1.html http://milelesafari.blogspot.co.uk/p/taster-1.html
Book Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkJsS5vtJjg

Social Media links
Twitter – @JanHawke
Facebook Author page –https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jan-Hawke/386239624841750 https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jan-Hawke/386239624841750
LinkedIn –https://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=254177051&trk=nav_responsive_tab_profile https://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=254177051&trk=nav_responsive_tab_profile
Author blog – Jan Hawke INKorporatedhttp://janhawke.me/http://janhawke.me/

4WillsPublishing Link:
AUTHOR EVENT – http://4wills-hawke.chatovod.com/

This tour sponsored by 4WillsPublishing.wordpress.com

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt Some/Sum

June 27, 2015June 26, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 28 Comments

Stream of Consciousness Saturday again. This week’s prompt is “Some/Sum and we can use one or both words. If you would like to give this fun a try, go to Linda Hill’s site and read all the rules. Here is the link http://lindaghill.com/2015/06/26/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-2715/. Here is my interpretation.

“Tell me that number again.”

“Seven million.”

“Whew that’s some sum.”

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t what?”

“You don’t get off the prompt that easy.”

“Hey, I just said some and sum, so I’m done.”

“Tell me you didn’t rhyme that on purpose.”

“What if I did?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Okay, so I didn’t. Now, what?”

“You are still an idiot, but you need to try harder on the prompt.”

“Like how harder?”

“Maybe you need to weave some kind of a story. You can talk about the sum of all fears.”

“The what?”

“The sum of all fears is what happens when you are afraid, and take stock in what all of the fears mean to you.. What’s the sum of that situation.”

“I have to do some math?”

“For heaven’s sake give me a break.”

“Now who’s rhyming?”

“Let me sum up something for you.”

“Go ahead with some sum. Ha ha got ya.”

“You didn’t do the prompt and I hope Linda and her friends toss you out of the SoCS.”

“Poo, I did too.”

“Another rhyme. Perfect and they are becoming more sophisticated as we go along.”

“Sum this.”

“So adult.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

June 26, 2015June 25, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 31 Comments

Friday is here, and I don’t know about you but when anyone mentions Friday it makes me smile. Friday carries with it some anticipation of the beauty of Saturday. You know the beauty of relaxation, rest, recharge, time with family, not having to answer to anyone. Friday has the personality of a liberator. The day itself must be completed before freedom can be assured. Knowing Friday has arrived makes the certainty of liberation a little more probable. Of course, there is always the potential for having to work Saturday yet the mention of Friday conger feelings of looking forward to what follows. This week’s JohnKu (a term coined by Words4jp) talks about weekend freedom. I hope you like it.

Freedom by John W. Howell

Still walking uphill,

Monday to Thursday until . . .

Friday sets us free.

Thursday – A Little Personal

June 25, 2015June 23, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 24 Comments

One thing about living close to the Gulf is everything of metal is subject to deterioration due to salt spray, sand and the wind. This includes automobiles, bikes and houses. Of course, there are no houses made of metal but they do have metal roofs and fixtures. I thought you would enjoy seeing some of the effects of the elements on a few things around our house. The first is the outdoor lamps. These lamps are the most durable that we could find short of putting up vinyl. The material is stainless steel with enamel reflectors. Take a look.

The patina is beautiful but we have ten of these lamps at various places on the home, and I can’t wait to come out and see them laying in pieces on the porches. The material behind the fixture that looks like wood siding is Hardy Plank, which is a concrete product.

The next photo is of one of door handles.

These knobs are also stainless steel. You can see the same pitting that is evident on the lamps. The lock above the handle is also stainless steel but is looking like it is made of copper. The door material is vinyl so it is pretty impervious to the weather. The strikes on the right side are stainless and are now crumbling. I did not take photos of the knobs when they were new, but I did take one of the inside that will give you an idea of how they looked when installed.

The final photo is of the front door knob. You can see rust on the top strike on the left. I replace the strikes once a year otherwise the door locks would have no place to go. When we ordered the hardware for the doors we paid additional money for a better grade. Since we have eight doors, replacing them might have cost a lot of money. The Kwikset company has sent replacements at no charge. I will have a good time this summer doing the replacements. Those pits in the molding on the right are in the paint and not the material.

Thanks for reading.

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

June 24, 2015June 22, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 17 Comments

Wednesday story time again. Last week Charlotte had asked Bob to leave so she could rest. Charlotte (and the rest of us) learned that Bob was homeless and living under a freeway. Bob’s mother threw him out of the house two months ago, and all he has with him is a computer. We need to get back to see how Charlotte is going to handle this latest twist.

“So Bob how have you been getting food and keeping yourself clean?”

“Well, Charlotte I usually go to the YMCA for a swim and shower. I have a locker there. I plug my computer in at the library to get it charged.”

“Do you have a tent or what?”

“No, I have a sleeping bag that I stash in my locker.”

“You’re kidding. You sleep on the ground?”

“Yup. You would be surprised how comfortable it is.”

“I hope never to find out. When do you write?”

“As I said I charge my computer in at the library. I work there most of the time. Which reminds me do you mind if I plug-in here?”

“No, not at all. The plug is over there. How do you eat?”

“Oh, I have money. My mom keeps my checking account full. I can use my debit card for food. She doesn’t want me to be around, but she still cares for me though.”

“I’m surprised to hear you say that. How do you know she cares?”

“I just told you she keeps me in money. She also sends me texts and tells me she cares.”

“But why doesn’t she want you in the house?”

“I think I make her nervous.”

“Nervous how?”

“Oh, you know. She has boyfriends, and when I’m around, there are too many questions about how old I am and what she told the guy about her age.”

“How does that make you feel?”

“You sound like the psychologist.”

“You have a psychologist?”

“Yeah. I see him twice a week.”

“How do you get there?”

“I take the bus like I do for everything else.”