Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Happy Place

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

 

The last gurgle from the pretentious coffee maker has me near my happy place. The aroma of those Columbian beans freshly ground and tamped into submission, then doused with scalding water, makes me drool. The twin spouts give forth the elixir of life that soon will be crossing my lips. One final drip and a grab of the mug, followed by a big sip of the soothing syrup, will allow the day’s trials to be faced.

Speaking of trials. As the caffeine hits the brain, the realization that the safe problem, followed by the Yosemite Sam problem capped off by the Wile E. Coyote problem, is still unsolved. A look out the back windows verifies that the safe is still there. That means the other issues remain as well. My front security alert tone hits my phone as if to underscore the fact. Lucy and Twiggy live for that sound and are now acting out the part of Igor’s baying hounds. A quick handout saves the walls around the front door from total annihilation.

After using the speaker to determine Wile is out there, the security disengage routine is complete the front door slams open. My “What.” caused Wile to jump. “I thought we would go over the demolition plan.” Scratching my head and then giving the go-ahead, Wile proceed to detail placing some ACME explosives under the safe. This would be followed by attaching an extremely long fuse allowing us both to run down the block. Wile assured me the safe would be lifted out of the yard, and with the assistance of previously installed ACME mini rockets, he could guide it to the waiting bed of a truck.

He produced a contract that, for the most part, absolved him from any liability. With no other viable alternative, my signature hit the line marked ‘sucker.’ It didn’t say sucker, but the translation was complete in my mind as the ink dried. Wile also gave me an envelope and indicated that he needed to get to work. I told him to watch out for Yosemite Sam, and he seemed unconcerned as he headed for the backyard.

I opened the envelope, and sure enough, it was a letter from Linda Hill. There were four sentences in the letter. The first three read Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “happy place.” Write the first thing that comes to mind when you think of “happy place.” Have fun!

The fourth read I can’t believe you signed that contract.

Please visit Linda’s blog and read how if you want to join in. Here is the link https://lindaghill.com/2022/10/14/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-15-2022/

Happy Place by John W. Howell © 2022

“So your happy place is drinking a cup of coffee?”

“Yes. You don’t have to tell me yours.”

“That obvious, huh?”

“Duh.”

“Well, I could think of worse places than the pub.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I see nothing wrong with your choice.”

“Yeah. You do join me there after all.”

“Not all the time, though.”

“How do you know?”

“Well, I assume you go to the pub without me.”

“You think there is life beyond this post?”

“Um. Never thought of it before.”

“Well, think now. You and I live as long as there is a Stream of Conscious Saturday.”

“What are you saying?”

“As soon as the blog page turns, so to speak, we don’t exist.”

“That’s crazy. What about all those times we hung out?”

“Name one.”

“Last week. We had VooDoo Rangers at my place.”

“That was how the post ended. Do you remember drinking a VooDoo Ranger?”

“Now you are scaring me.”

“You’re right. Let’s drop it and go to the happy place.”

“Sometimes I don’t understand you.”

“Don’t worry. I was just trying to get John’s goat.”

“Who?”

“Never mind. Let’s get going.”

“Yes indeed. I’ll buy.”

“You are the best.”

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #381 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”

Link to Keith’s page https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2022/10/10/kreative-kue-381/

The photo.

The Blink by John W. Howell © 2022

“You think you can get away.”

“I know I can. I just have to turn around and walk.”

“How foolish you are. I have locked onto your eyes, and you are now in my power.”

“Who you trying to fool, you big bully. All it would take is a shot from a gun to eliminate you.”

“You have a gun?”

“No.”

“Then, under my power, you shall remain. A warning to you. I have not had lunch yet, so don’t even blink.”

“What do you mean ‘don’t blink.'”

“You blink, and I strike.”

“What are you, a snake?”

“You are not that lucky. Hawk’s my name. Vermin’s my game.”

“Oh, very clever. Big talk from what amounts to an oversized sparrow.”

“From where I sit, you are in no position to be insulting.”

“Tell you what. I’ll give you to the count of three to buzz off.”

“Then what?”

“If you are still here, I’ll lift my tail and hit you with my best shot.”

“Shot of what?”

“It’s not bourbon, I can tell you that.”

“Now you have me curious.”

“Which is a feeling that killed the cat.”

“You look like a cat.”

“Only to Pepe De Pew. Trust me, I’m no cat. One.”

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #380 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please also mention it in a comment here. https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2022/10/03/kreative-kue-380/

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”

The photo.

Outback by John W. Howell © 2022

“So take the bloody photo, will ya.”

“I can’t seem to get this camera to focus.”

“Do you have it on auto?”

“Yes, but something’s not working right.”

“Just touch the shutter button lightly, and you’ll get a message.”

“What kind of message?”

“Will tell you if the lighting or setting is right.”

“All I see is you and some lines.”

“Are the lines green?”

“Sort of orange.”

“Means the setting is off. Check auto again.”

“It is on.”

“Okay, let’s forget it.”

“No, wait. I think I have solved the problem.”

“How?”

“My finger was blocking the sensor.”

“Right, of course, it was.”

“Say cheese.”

“Limburger.”

“I got it. Good thing too ’cause the film needs replacing.”

“Good thing. The guy is headed this way. I’m sure he will wonder what we are doing around his Land Rover.”

“Well, don’t worry, at least we got the shot. I’m going to send copies to the folks in Texas. They’ll get a kick out of the license plate.”

“If it’s a good shot, I want to send one to my mom too.”

“This may be the best shot of the trip. She will love it.”

“I hope so. All the rest are blurry.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Me

 

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

 

Standing and looking like an unemployed actor in the welfare line. Still waiting for the expresso machine to finish torturing me with its drama causes some reflection. How do I get that safe out of my backyard? Rolls across my consciousness. Having no immediate answer, the cup runneth over, and I sip quickly to keep the dark brew off the floor. Lips burning while crossing to the door to the back porch, my phone gives off the annoying twirp sound indicating yet another interloper at the front door. My thought goes to don’t ring the bell too late to stop the Hounds of Baskerville response by Twiggy and Lucy.

The security system needs a shutdown but first, a treat to the girls to soothe their savage breasts. Then, soothing done, the mechanical part of the disarm cycle is begun. The gate is opened, the bar lifted, machine guns on standby, boiling oil secured, concertina wire recoiled, claymore mines disabled, trebuchet locked, moat submarine fence dropped, bolts thrown, and locks undone.

The door opens to the likeness of Yosemite Sam. “Dadburn bureaucrats. Have no dadburn understanding of the need for dadburn beauty rest. Stupid tenderfoot woke me to ask if I was willing to open a safe house. A dadburn safe house in a safe. Well, I told him I was not in a position to give him an answer and then sent him packing with the thought of dancing the Charleston to the tune of my twin 45s. Here take this.”

Want to ask more questions, but Sam hands me two envelopes and goes around the house. The first is an offer to rent out the safe. It is signed by Alfred E Neumann, so it looks suspiciously like the CIA. The second is from Linda Hill. Here’s what it says. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “me.” Find a word that starts with “me” or use the word “me” as the theme of your post. Have fun!

If you want fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/09/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-1-2022/

Me by John W. Howell © 2022

“You didn’t complete the prompt.”

“I sure did.”

“I didn’t see ‘me’ in there anywhere.”

“See the word ‘mechanical?'”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake. How will anyone know you worked ‘me’ in that way?

“This is not a test. Folks are intelligent enough to catch stuff like that.”

“I didn’t catch the ‘me’ in mechanical.”

“Excuse me but did you not hear the word intelligent either?”

“Oh, cold brother. You hurt me.”

“Right. Since when do words hurt you.”

“I guess I’m a little tender. You have to be nice to me.”

“Let me guess. You are a half pint low on beer?”

“Now that you mention it. A cold brew would serve me well right now.”

“Can you wait for the pub?”

“You know me. I’m a paragon of patience. Call uber now.”

“On it. Any other words for me?”

“VooDoo Ranger stat.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #379 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”

Yu can visit Keith at his blog. https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2022/09/26/kreative-kue-379/

The photo.

Test by john W. Howell © 2022

“Wow, look at this. Here we are in New York city.”

“Yes indeed. A perfect place for a test.”

“Test? What kind of test?”

“We are here for that quiz show, Right?”

“Yes but what test?”

“That show is all about being able to remember stuff.”

“Okay.”

“So I think it would be good to see how much of this street you can remember after we drive down it.”

“But the show is about history and songs and other things.”

“I think this will help stimulate your memory cells.”

“I don’t see it but I’ll humor you.”

“Okay I’ve taken a photo of the street. Tell me what you remember from the beginning to where we are right now.”

“There’s Brandy. There’s solar, wind, natural gas and oh yes, oil by British Petrolium. McDonalds at 46th and 7th. Discover card, TDK, Budweiser, NBC.”

“Okay that’s enough. You pass.”

“Aw come on. I was just getting warmed up.”

“Maybe you should save it for the show. Here I’ll send you the photo.”

“Oops.”

“Oops what?”

“I left my phone somewhere?”

“What do you mean ‘somewhere?'”

“It’s either at the hotel, the coffee shop, that little shop we went into, or still at home.”

“Do you remember the last time you had it.”

“I took some photos at grandma’s.”

“That was last Thanksgiving.”

“Maybe it’s at grandma’s”

“I guess as a memory sevant there are things that slip through the cracks.”

“Who are you by the way?”

“Oh my.”

“Just messin’ with ya. My phone’s right here.”

 

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Home

 

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

 

Waiting for the coffee machine to finish its ridiculously pompous and overly complicated process brought to mind the safe and the Yosemite Sam look alike. Looking out the back windows confirmed that the safe was still there. Such a condition brought a sense of unwanted satisfaction that, at least it, was not all a fantasy.

The almost soundless chime of the machine let me know it was time to provide direction on my preference. I could have a latte, cappuccino, cafe au lait, or coffee. Since there are rules in many parts of the world on having a cappuccino in the morning, I selected the two-cup serving of Samatra Dark Roast. Sputters and spurts followed by an aromatic stream of the stuff that’s going to save my life. A finish with a creamy head, and it is ready to drink.

Two sips in, and predictably my phone signals the arrival of someone on the front porch. My new signage that says GO AWAY doesn’t appear to have registered on the latest interloper. A click of the speaker switch allows the question. “Who goes there?” (one of my fantasy phrases that lie in waiting for the perfect opportunity)

“The POA.”

Not an expected answer. My sigh and response begged for a minute to go through the unlocking process. The visitor also sighs but agrees. The process is more complex this week with the addition of a heat-seeking anti-tank rocket system. The iron gate is opened, bar raised, concertina wire pulled back, claymore mines deactivated, auto boiling oil system cut off, machine guns paused, anti-tank system on standby, Trebuchet disengaged, door bolts thrown, and locks undone. The front door opens, and before me stands the guy that looks like Yosemite Sam.

“Your daggone POA woke me up this morning in my home demanding to know when the safe was going to be moved.”

“What did you tell them?”

“To mind their dadgum business. A man’s home is his castle. So I ran him off with an invitation to dance to the tune of my 45s.”

Now there are real problems to consider. Not only is there a non-compliant housing unit half buried in the backyard but an insane resident who makes people dance with his pistols. Sam hands me an envelope and, like last week, disappears around the corner of the house. I open the envelope to find a warning by the POA to get rid of the safe or face a fine. Attached to the back of the envelope is another message from Linda Hill. It reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “home.” Use it as a noun, a verb, an adjective, or an adverb. Enjoy!

If you want to “enjoy,” visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2022/09/23/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-24-2022/

Home by John W. Howell © 2022

“Sam is still there?”

“Well, someone who looks like Sam.”

“Why don’t you tell him to go home.”

“He thinks the safe is his home.”

“Get rid of his home then.”

“Easier said than done. No one wants to move a safe. Home or not.”

“Did you try a home mover?”

“Now, that idea just struck home with me.”

“That’s a clumsy sentence.”

“All’s fair in love and prompts. I’m going to call one.”

“Home mover?”

“Yup.”

“Since when do you listen to me?”

“When you serve up ideas that hit home runs.”

“Speaking of ‘serve.'”

“I know my turn to buy. Call Uber.”

“On speed dial.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #378 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”

The photo

The Part by John W. Howell © 2022

“Hold still while I zip this up.”

“Easy for you to say. You aren’t wearing a hot fly suit.”

“This was your idea, remember.”

“Well, I heard Steve McQueen got his start this way.”

“That’s not true. He was in the movie The Blob.”

“Yeah, that’s right. He played the blob. Just makes my point.”

“What point is that?”

“Sometimes you have to start at the bottom.”

“But the audition notes didn’t say anything about a fly.”

“I know. That’s the beauty of going as a fly.”

“I still don’t get it.”

“How many actors do you think will show up for this audition?”

“A few?”

“Try fifty.”

“Okay.”

“How many will be in a fly suit?”

“None, I’ll wager.”

“Bingo. I’ll stand out. Vincent Price was famous, and he played a fly.”

“Good grief, this is just a walk-on part.”

“Exactly, and what better way to get it than to walk on the ceiling?”

“I don’t want to be there.”

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 377 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo(below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”

The photo.

Where? by John W. Howell © 2022

“What do those signs say?”

“We have reached The Magic kingdom.”

“The what?”

“The magic Kindom. You know Disney.”

“Who the heck wants to be here?”

“Aww, come on. Every kid on the planet.”

“How did we get into this situation?”

“What is the matter with you. We went for a car ride, and here we are.”

“I had no intention of going this far.”

“That’s just like you. Start a trip and then complain when we reach the destination.”

“I started the trip all right but never figured on ending it here.”

“So now, why don’t you just relax and enjoy yourself.”

“I could do that back home. Didn’t need to go on a fool’s journey.”

“Alright, we need to make a deal.”

“Like what?”

“You shut up about the trip, and I’ll let you have a drink and a rest.”

“I need to rest a week.”

“I know that. All us mosquitoes need to rest a week after a drink.”

“Can I bite the blond one?”

“Sure. You take your pick.”

“You’re a good brother, you know that?”

“Thanks, sis. You’ll feel better after your rest.”

 

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Word with Silent Letter

 

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCSA look out the back windows confirms the Mosler safe is still half buried in the backyard. For those of you in the dark, last week, a safe came out of the sky. Inside was someone who looked like Yosemite Sam in his underwear. Good, now we are all caught up. (Please don’t try to understand what a safe is doing falling from the sky. Just go with it.)

A hardy thump on the espresso machine brings it to life and produces a ten-ounce mug of soothing syrup before my hearing goes out. Before approaching the safe again, several long sips of the coffee takes priority over anything to follow.

Communing with my thoughts is suddenly disturbed by the shrill sound of the klaxon warning horn announcing someone at the front door. Having successfully gotten Lucy and Twiggy to stop throwing themselves at the door, my attention turns to the security control panel. I disengage the iron gate, concertina wire, bouncing betty land mines, stinger rocket launchers, tower machine guns, automatic boiling oil dispenser, and all double locks and bolts.

It is time to open the door. As it swings inside, the sight of an odd device is visible sitting on the drive. Looking right and left and deploying the heat-sensitive scanner, it appears no one is on the porch. Approaching the contraption brings into focus a label attached to one leg. The label reads Trebuchet -Acme Amalgamated Industries. Distributed by Daniel Conti Enterprises, Granger, Indiana.

Scratching my head, trying to figure out what the heck this thing is, my central nervous system takes a jolt from a piercing voice from the unexpected. “Dad gum it. What’s the matter, boy? Never seen a Trebuchet before?”

Aghast and Jumping almost out of my skin, I realize on the way down that the Yosemite Sam-looking character has snuck up behind me. “I didn’t see you on the scanner.” This was the best that could be said through my constricted throat. “You varment. I’m wagering that there machine doesn’t pick up figments of your imagination.”

Sam was right. It only picks up heat from living organisms, not some ghost from my imagination. Sam motions me to come closer and hands me an envelope. Before the question, “How long are you going to be here?” is asked, he disappears. Now the only things left are a safe in the back yead, this Trebuchet, and an envelope that must be from Linda Hill. Sure enough, when opened, the message reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “a word that contains a silent letter.” Choose a word that contains a silent letter and use it in your post, or write about words with silent letters in general. Enjoy!

If you would like to enjoy visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/09/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-10-2022/

Silent H by John W. Howell © 2022

“I don’t see where you used the prompt.”

“Aghast and ghost? You missed those?”

“Okay. Pretty subtle, though.”

“Clever.”

“What?”

“Throwing in, though.”

“Wasn’t on purpose. What the heck is a Trebuchet?”

“It is a rock-slinging thing much like a catapult.”

“Why didn’t you just say catapult?”

“A friend of mine suggested a Trebuchet would be a nice addition to my security system. so I thought I would honor the suggestion.”

“Two more silent Hs. Thought and honor.”

“We are done with the prompt.”

“What was Sam wearing. Last week he was in his underwear.”

“Oh yeah. He had on long johns with a bum flap.”

“That sounds ghastly.”

“Let’s go get some beer before we lose any more readers than we already have.”

“You buying?”

“VooDooRanger. You bet.”

“Call Uber then. I’ve worked up a big ole thirst.”

“Done.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 376 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”

The photo.

Yes Dear by John W. Howell © 2022

Here comes the wife. I’ve got this snake right where I want him. If I stop playing, he will strike, and I am a dead man.

“Good morning Ravi.”

“Mum hum.”

“Is that all you can say on a glorious day like today?”

“Mum hum.”

“We have some things that you and I need to discuss.”

“Um?”

“Could you put down that silly punji and talk to me?”

“Muff a luffla.”

“I can’t understand you. I think you are playing off key too.”

“Mamfp.”

“Okay if you  are not going to stop, here’s what I have to say. First of all you seem to spend a lot of time here in the marketplace yet I don’t see any mony coming home.”

“Ruggerle rap.”

“That’s not all. We have the need to fix the roof. Where are we going to get the money?”

“Merp?”

“My shoes have holes and I can’t even affored the newspaper to fill them.”

“Uk?”

“Those paans make my mouth water yet we can’t affored even one.”

“Upt.”

“I give up. Either stop this stupid nonsense with the basket and snake or I’ll have to ask my mother to come live with us to help.”

“Eeek. Alright my dear. I’ve stopped playing and soon your troubles will be over.

“You going to get a job?”

“Better. My snake and insurance policy will be all you need.”

“I don’t want that ugly snake.”

“Yes dear.”