Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Me

 

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

 

Standing and looking like an unemployed actor in the welfare line. Still waiting for the expresso machine to finish torturing me with its drama causes some reflection. How do I get that safe out of my backyard? Rolls across my consciousness. Having no immediate answer, the cup runneth over, and I sip quickly to keep the dark brew off the floor. Lips burning while crossing to the door to the back porch, my phone gives off the annoying twirp sound indicating yet another interloper at the front door. My thought goes to don’t ring the bell too late to stop the Hounds of Baskerville response by Twiggy and Lucy.

The security system needs a shutdown but first, a treat to the girls to soothe their savage breasts. Then, soothing done, the mechanical part of the disarm cycle is begun. The gate is opened, the bar lifted, machine guns on standby, boiling oil secured, concertina wire recoiled, claymore mines disabled, trebuchet locked, moat submarine fence dropped, bolts thrown, and locks undone.

The door opens to the likeness of Yosemite Sam. “Dadburn bureaucrats. Have no dadburn understanding of the need for dadburn beauty rest. Stupid tenderfoot woke me to ask if I was willing to open a safe house. A dadburn safe house in a safe. Well, I told him I was not in a position to give him an answer and then sent him packing with the thought of dancing the Charleston to the tune of my twin 45s. Here take this.”

Want to ask more questions, but Sam hands me two envelopes and goes around the house. The first is an offer to rent out the safe. It is signed by Alfred E Neumann, so it looks suspiciously like the CIA. The second is from Linda Hill. Here’s what it says. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “me.” Find a word that starts with “me” or use the word “me” as the theme of your post. Have fun!

If you want fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/09/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-1-2022/

Me by John W. Howell Β© 2022

“You didn’t complete the prompt.”

“I sure did.”

“I didn’t see ‘me’ in there anywhere.”

“See the word ‘mechanical?'”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake. How will anyone know you worked ‘me’ in that way?

“This is not a test. Folks are intelligent enough to catch stuff like that.”

“I didn’t catch the ‘me’ in mechanical.”

“Excuse me but did you not hear the word intelligent either?”

“Oh, cold brother. You hurt me.”

“Right. Since when do words hurt you.”

“I guess I’m a little tender. You have to be nice to me.”

“Let me guess. You are a half pint low on beer?”

“Now that you mention it. A cold brew would serve me well right now.”

“Can you wait for the pub?”

“You know me. I’m a paragon of patience. Call uber now.”

“On it. Any other words for me?”

“VooDoo Ranger stat.”

52 comments

  1. Well done, John. Maybe renting the safe would be a way to put some money in the Bentley fund. That car would be the ultimate ‘me’ thing. I hope you have a good weekend.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I wish I had thought of the ‘me’ thing. Well done, Dan. 😊

      Liked by 3 people

  2. Yosemite and Alfred, boy you brought out two flashes from the past!!
    So – how much is the rent for the safe going to be?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The rent may go as high as $50.00 a month which is a lot for 30 square feet. 😁

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Hey – it’s a roof. Now we need to figure how to put an AC unit in there!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. And a lock that opens from the inside.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Now – why didn’t I think of that?!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Ha ha ha.Thanks for the laugh, GP. 😁

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Alls I can add to this is . . .

    Beer ME!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m getting more and more curious about how long Yosemite Sam is going to live in a safe in your back yard. (Love the bit about dancing the Charleston to the tune of his twin 45s.)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Liz. If I can figure out a way to get rid of the safe he’ll be gone.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, John! πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I can almost hear the mechanical part. That’s what your writing does … paints sounds and pictures. Great post John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww. Thank you, Jill.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Charles. 😁

      Like

  6. You should take Sam with you. I’m pretty sure he appreciates a good salloon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m a little fear full of those 45s mixed with alcohol. He would be a hoot though.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Ha ha ha! One question here, if your safe arrived in the middle of the night by virtue of a cartoon artist, Yosemite Sam put me in mind, then would a really big eraser not work?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It would for sure. In this fictional reality I’m afraid I might get erased too. (Then who would cook the pork chops?) πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

  8. D.L. Finn, Author · · Reply

    That safe seems destined to stay. Maybe you could start charging rent.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Or at least put some landscaping around it. Thanks, Denise. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Good one, John! Happy Saturday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy Saturday to you * sung to the tune of Wake Up Little Susie by the Everly Brothers

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Ha! Ha! A safe house…brilliant, John! Happy Saturday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jan

      Like

  11. Safe house rental? I bet Alfre dropped his “What, me worry?” attitude when Sam invited him to dance. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sure he did. Charleston, charleston da te da da da da de

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Love the addition of your moat submarine fence.
    Can never be too careful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes , thank you. That was a Dan add.

      Like

  13. You too had me going. My dogs take their alrm duties very seriously, especially if it’s a delivery. They swear the delivery people are here to take our stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ours do too. They are carbon alarm units.

      Like

    1. Thank you, Michael.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Well, if not a Safe House, what about a Horror House. Hallowe’en is approaching, and you could charge admission. Your share could go for Beer $! Now that sounds mellifluous to me!

    πŸ‚ πŸ’‹πŸ§½πŸ‚ πŸ’‹πŸ§½πŸ‚ πŸ’‹πŸ§½

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Almost dulcet in fact. πŸ˜‚

      Like

  15. That was rather sneaky, admittedly. Resa has a sold idea there… unless you manage to get the lot out of your backyard, that is…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. I liked her idea.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s a good ‘un!

        Like

  16. Well done, John. Clever use.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Monika.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Oh, this is good. An offer to rent the safe (as a safe house?) by Alfred E. Neumann. I can’t wait to see where this goes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hopefully we can get this guy to move on.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 🀞

        Liked by 1 person

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