It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday, and I got a message attached to a snowball from Linda Hill. Here is what she said.
“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “nerve.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!”
If you would like to have fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here’s the link.
Nerve by John W. Howell © 2021
“You’ve got a lot of nerve.”
“Who you talking to?”
“The curbside food delivery people. Hold on. Okay, then just eliminate the light fluid but keep the antifreeze. Can’t do that either? Well, cancel the order then. Bye.”
“What was that all about?”
“I decided to order this week’s groceries on-line. After I placed the order, I got a notice that a couple of things weren’t authorized for curbside pick up.”
“Lighter fluid and antifreeze?”
“Yes.”
“Why do you need those?”
“Well, the fluid is so I can light my candles with my lighter.”
“And the antifreeze?”
“So I can protect my car engine from freezing.”
“Seems odd that you would wait for cold weather to protect your engine.”
“I drained some of the antifreeze and put it in my toilets.”
“What kind of insane person does that?”
“I didn’t want them to freeze.”
“Who said they would.”
“No one, it just makes sense.”
“To who?”
“Whom.”
“I mean, the heat in your house would keep them from freezing.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Tell me about the heat.”
“You know I have natural gas.”
“I didn’t, but go ahead.”
“The lines froze.”
“So your heater doesn’t work.”
“Right.”
“What about your pipes?”
“Might be frozen too.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Ask to stay with you.”
“Sure, no problem, but I meant about the frozen pipes.”
“Buy bottled water. Take a shower at your house.”
“The pipes are going to break with the expanding ice.”
“Nah.”
“Why ‘nah?”‘
“Drained out the water and filled them with some of that noxious liquor you gave me over the years.”
“The 25-year-old bourbon?”
“Yup, ten bottles filled them up, right beautiful.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“I could have used beer, but I didn’t have the nerve.”
“Okay, I give.”
“It would have been a big sacrifice. Besides, beer does freeze. Want one while it is still liquid?”
“Yeah, maybe. I keep thinking of that 1000 dollars floating around in your pipes.”
“It will still be there in the spring.”
“Never thought of that.”
“I saved the bottles.”
“Good man. Here’s to ya. You ready to go?”
“Got room for five cases of Bud?”
“Not at one sitting.”
Fiction Favorites 
Hilarious, John. 😂 People can do crazy things during natural disasters, and you’ve got the nerve to capitalize on that possibility. Well done!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Gwen. Had to poke fun at the whole situation. I was going to bring in the late arrival of generators but didn’t have the nerve to rile the cancel culture haters. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wise decision. 🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know right?
LikeLike
25-years-old-burbon… ouch! 😂 well, the story is crazy, I’ll tell ya, but suits our situation in the world right now 😉👍💙
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is crazy but you are right. Real-life is crazier for sure. 😁 Looking for spring. 🌷
LikeLiked by 1 person
Why do I think both the antifreeze and alcohol ideas have been attempted by at least one person in history?
LikeLiked by 2 people
That was my thought as well, Charles!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahaha. Thanks, Liz. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome, John.
LikeLike
😁
LikeLike
I’m sure you are right. When I Googled how to stop pipes from bursting there was a warning not to put antifreeze in toilets. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wouldn’t be a warning if it hadn’t been tried.
LikeLike
Right?
LikeLike
Hi,
I am really sorry about what is happening in Texas. You all made international news. Here in Germany, we had about fourteen days of cold weather 30 degrees below zero and that was enough for me. Our pipes and everything were okay though. Germany was prepared for such cold weather.
I think I would have cried at the 25-year-old bourbon being poured down the drain. That hurts my heart.
I hope you have an enjoyable weekend.
Shalom aleichem
LikeLiked by 1 person
As a bourbon drinker, I chose something that would hit my nerve. Thanks, Pat. Shalom.
LikeLike
Delightful! If antifreeze is a no-no, the gun shop probably won’t respond to my curbside order. Darn!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think you will be surprised, Susan. No dynamite though. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
HA! I just crossed it off of my list.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good thing. Grenades still on the list though right?
LikeLiked by 1 person
No… just half a dozen landmines.
LikeLiked by 1 person
They work quite well. Makes the neighbors behave.
LikeLiked by 1 person
HA! Makes the neighbors be gone in my neck of the woods. LOL
This has been fun. Let me know if Homeland Security knocks on your door. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sacrilegious! $1000 worth of bourbon down the drains? You couldn’t do it with cheap rubbing alcohol?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well….sure but where’s the stupidy in that? 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
🤪
LikeLike
Lol! Nice one, John. This was better than those Super Bowl commercials! Happy Saturday!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Jill. Happy Saturday to you *sung to the tune of Good Morning Starshine by Oliver.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Not at one sitting. ” I live that, John. What a waste of bourbon though. You could have used some of that hand sanitizer you’ve been hoarding.
Cheers!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, it is true about using bourbon, Dan but where would the cringe factor come in?
LikeLiked by 1 person
[…] “Well, since my shoulders are fine, I’ll go with something lighter, say a glass of John Howell’s Bourbon.” […]
LikeLiked by 1 person
Antifreeze in toilets is a new one to me. Creativity in Snowmageddon is at an all time high. I chuckled at “To who?” “Whom”. I never get that right.
Glad for the warming temps. Happy Saturday John!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Jill. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol. I would have never thought of alcohol in the pipes. Of course now I’m wondering about so many other possibilities.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes. It is a thing to wonder. Thanks, Denise.
LikeLike
Oh dear! The bourbon down the drains got to me. 🙂 Good one, John.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Got to me too, Jan. Never happen at my house. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
The master at work! ‘Beam me down to the pipes, Captain’!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes sir, Scotty. On tap. Thank you, Billy Ray.
LikeLike
Hysterical, John, and a new perspective of money down the drain. Only you could find humor in these situations. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Lauren
LikeLike
Whatever works—I’m open to all options. Are things finally warming up?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, we are looking at 69 degrees today. 😁
LikeLike
Use the vinegar. Keep the bourbon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It does freeze at 28 degrees. Good idea, though. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
You mean THE John Howell bourbon down the drain? Does Dan know about this? Poor David at the bar might have a heart attack. 1-800-CHERYL.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hahahaha. I think you hit the nail on the head with all of these. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think I probably did! 😅
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just wait till Marc reads this. It’s gonna bring a tear to his eye for sure!
Best to laugh at the crap you guys are living right now, instead of cry, I say.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is so true, Dale. Thanks. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLike
Grand work
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. 😊
LikeLike
Welcome sir
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not the good bourbon!!! 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
No. Only kidding. Jim Beam. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Phew!! 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, about ten bottles of bourbon should do it. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahaha.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow! Bourbon down the drain! You have to make the best of the worse even with vintage bourbon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know, Karen. Don’t worry no bourbon was harmed in the making of this post. 😊
LikeLike
I was all set to remark about how the antifreeze trick works and then . . the bourbon. Just the thought of it makes me want to grab a pipe cutter . . .
LikeLiked by 2 people
Just open the faucet. (Put a glass under first.)
LikeLiked by 2 people
That would be a dream come true . . .
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hahaha. Yes, it would. 😁
LikeLiked by 2 people