Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Me

~ John W. Howell

 

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

 

Standing and looking like an unemployed actor in the welfare line. Still waiting for the expresso machine to finish torturing me with its drama causes some reflection. How do I get that safe out of my backyard? Rolls across my consciousness. Having no immediate answer, the cup runneth over, and I sip quickly to keep the dark brew off the floor. Lips burning while crossing to the door to the back porch, my phone gives off the annoying twirp sound indicating yet another interloper at the front door. My thought goes to don’t ring the bell too late to stop the Hounds of Baskerville response by Twiggy and Lucy.

The security system needs a shutdown but first, a treat to the girls to soothe their savage breasts. Then, soothing done, the mechanical part of the disarm cycle is begun. The gate is opened, the bar lifted, machine guns on standby, boiling oil secured, concertina wire recoiled, claymore mines disabled, trebuchet locked, moat submarine fence dropped, bolts thrown, and locks undone.

The door opens to the likeness of Yosemite Sam. “Dadburn bureaucrats. Have no dadburn understanding of the need for dadburn beauty rest. Stupid tenderfoot woke me to ask if I was willing to open a safe house. A dadburn safe house in a safe. Well, I told him I was not in a position to give him an answer and then sent him packing with the thought of dancing the Charleston to the tune of my twin 45s. Here take this.”

Want to ask more questions, but Sam hands me two envelopes and goes around the house. The first is an offer to rent out the safe. It is signed by Alfred E Neumann, so it looks suspiciously like the CIA. The second is from Linda Hill. Here’s what it says. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “me.” Find a word that starts with “me” or use the word “me” as the theme of your post. Have fun!

If you want fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/09/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-1-2022/

Me by John W. Howell © 2022

“You didn’t complete the prompt.”

“I sure did.”

“I didn’t see ‘me’ in there anywhere.”

“See the word ‘mechanical?'”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake. How will anyone know you worked ‘me’ in that way?

“This is not a test. Folks are intelligent enough to catch stuff like that.”

“I didn’t catch the ‘me’ in mechanical.”

“Excuse me but did you not hear the word intelligent either?”

“Oh, cold brother. You hurt me.”

“Right. Since when do words hurt you.”

“I guess I’m a little tender. You have to be nice to me.”

“Let me guess. You are a half pint low on beer?”

“Now that you mention it. A cold brew would serve me well right now.”

“Can you wait for the pub?”

“You know me. I’m a paragon of patience. Call uber now.”

“On it. Any other words for me?”

“VooDoo Ranger stat.”

52 thoughts on “Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Me”

  1. Well done, John. Maybe renting the safe would be a way to put some money in the Bentley fund. That car would be the ultimate ‘me’ thing. I hope you have a good weekend.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Ha ha ha! One question here, if your safe arrived in the middle of the night by virtue of a cartoon artist, Yosemite Sam put me in mind, then would a really big eraser not work?

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Well, if not a Safe House, what about a Horror House. Hallowe’en is approaching, and you could charge admission. Your share could go for Beer $! Now that sounds mellifluous to me!

    🐂 💋🧽🐂 💋🧽🐂 💋🧽

    Liked by 1 person

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