English: Christmas decorations illuminating the exterior of the Ellen Lovell House, also called Oakenwald Terrace, a bed and breakfast on the National Register of Historic Places in Chatfield, Fillmore County, Minnesota. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Friday is here. Hoo Ray. Now is the time to start planning for an outrageous weekend. Those of you who are working full-time need to take some of the bosses minutes today and really think on how you want to spend the weekend. Go ahead the company won’t mind. After all you think about the company and your job on your time off don’t you?. . . *crickets* . . . Of course you do. You can’t fool and old fool. So what’s it to be? Here are a few suggestions to get the old thought process working:
Christmas is next Wednesday so how about packing up the kids, grandparents, and go shopping at the mall? Yes siree that sounds like a joyful thing to do. Don’t forget you will be out and about with thousands of your closest friends, enjoying the Yuletide spirit. If you have any luck you will be given the privilege of buying what you really didn’t want at a price you really didn’t want to pay. As a capper if you are really lucky you and the family will pick up a mild case of the flu that will progressively get worse by Christmas day.
Maybe you would rather go to an exclusive bed and breakfast just the two of you. There you can settle into a quant room that sort of reminds you of your grandma’s house. A degree of authenticity will be found in the mix of mothball, old sock, and camphor smell that you know and love. The real nice part is the cost of the room is just slightly below your month’s rent, but breakfast is included. Speaking of breakfast you will be able to join about ten of similarly minded people all dressed like you and all on their phones. The menu will include fresh squeezed gooseberry juice, cranberry scones with homemade elderberry jam, egg white omelet, and decaf cappuccino with soy foam. You are living now.
A final choice might be a simple weekend home with a few friends. Y’all can start on Saturday with the favorite punch before the football game. You remember it from last year. It’s that milk kind of thing with a rum base and kerosene taste finish. A few of those and you are suddenly transformed back to your undergrad days. You can try as hard as you will, but resistance is futile. Luckily the rest of the weekend will be a blur of football game on the TV, a pickup game of touch football in the snow, several bottles of wine and drinks, something for dinner, exactly what escapes you, and finally to bed in the car in the driveway. (Why you can’t explain) Sunday morning will be all about trying to figure out how many of the guests were offended by whatever when on before you went to sleep in the car. You will tread carefully until the Bloody Mary kicks in and then you will find out the whole truth. Of course you will never do this again.
Hope your choice is at least as good as these. Have a great weekend.
Fiction Favorites 
Have a great weekend John. I intend to do nothing but sit and read, nap, watch football. Perfect weekend.
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Sounds great.
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Excellent choices. That mall one seems truly one of the realm of dreams (nightmares). Is there a stay in bed option? 😀
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oooo good one.
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Just sit back with some classic Christmas movies. Die Hard, Gremlins, and Harry Potter & the Sorcerer Stone . . . those count, right?
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Die Hard definitely. I have not seen the others. (remember you converted me to fantasy)
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Good point. I think Gremlins counts as a strange comedy horror thing. Not really sure. I remember we could never figure it out in the video store. Ended up in Children’s, Horror, Sci-Fi, Family, and Comedy depending on who put it away.
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My shopping is done so no mall for me! (Thank you, Harry & David and LL Bean.) Hope to finish up some beta reading this weekend and maybe I’ll even get to do some actual, non-blog-related writing!
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Power to the pen. You go!
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Somebody should bottle that “mothball, old sock, and camphor smell”! Then we could enjoy it 24/7.
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Know any venture capitalists?
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We are having Christmas on Sunday with the kids, then off to Naples to play on the boat for a few days. Nicer, to us than a hotel/B&B. Just go out on the water and hide for a few days. All of your ideas have their own portions of pleasure though 🙂
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My wife and I rented a boat and cruised around the keys for a week. It was so nice until the generator went out. Cold water after that.
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No fun, we only go behind Pine Island and through the intercostals North of Naples, Even for a 36 footer the seas can get rough. Sometimes we will venture South, but we have never taken the boat as far south as the Keys…scared of not making it back, that;s a long haul. My hubby did a two year stint on a treasure hunting boat down there in his youth though.
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So many options, John. Life’s full of ’em. I will opt to spend “first Christmas” with the in-laws tomorrow. It’s a recent tradition and eliminates the Christmas day split-family headaches.
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I remember those days. Nerve wracking to say the least.
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My fun in the mall is over for this year. Your watching football/drinking weekend sounds the most appealing and is no doubt what I will end up doing, though I imagine it is a different type of football than the game you are referring to.
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Why is Grandma’s house so expensive? And what’s up with the food. 🙂
My grandmother made a gooseberry pie every holiday. She decided, years ago, that it was my father’s favorite. He couldn’t stand to eat it, but he did. Good memory.
Have fun at the mall This weekend. 🙂
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It is a bed and breakfast establishment that smells like grandma’s house. God knows why it is so expensive.
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Yes, I know. B & Bs are very similar to staying with Grandma at her house.
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Off to London to see the In Laws – people who could suck the joy out a lamb frolicking in a freshly green spring meadow with birds singing and ruddy faced artisans drinking flagons of home made cider being nice to eachother.
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I once entered a bar and said to the waitress, “Fetch me a tankard of ale and a flagon of nuts.” She brought a bottle of Bud, a little American flag, and a small bowl of peanuts. Love the word flagon. I understand in-laws. Bet they love your work as well.
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Erm in a word…….. NO! The evening wasn’t as bad as feared so that is something – the lengthy debate about sock length and an even lengthier debate about whether gammon steaks are better with eggs or pineapple softened the blow. It is grimly enjoyable and also a treasure trove for future posts!
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Wait…did you steal my crickets?
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Well I sort of borrowed them. Here you can have them back *crickets* 🙂
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Better than spiders
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But not as good as squirrels
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Definitely. Squirrels listen to me.
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Who doesn’t listen to you? (They must be crazy)
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My kids for starters
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Yeah, but all kids come with a built in parent drown out filter that doesn’t go away until they are 24.
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No family holidays with family. My mother hates me.
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Oh my. I’m sorry. 😦
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Yes, absolutely. That final entry is the kind in which you proclaim “Never again” . . while thinking . .until next weekend. I’m doing some last minute shopping today. I just have to dig out my Kevlar vest and I’m off!
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Here’s a question; how many “never agains” does it take until never again. Also to protect against unwanted virus I would also put on a breathing device as well.
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The never agains exist in perpetuity. According to the handbook . . .
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Ha! I love the recommendation to go shopping– um, no thank you! I drove a couple miles out of the way to get across town WITHOUT going near a mall.. Can’t handle that traffic! I spent the weekend getting tipsy and wrapping presents… that might make for a great new Christmas tradition.
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Getting tipsy sound great!!!
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