Here is the 25th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.
Top Ten Things Not To Do When Shopping at the Last Minute for Christmas
10. When shopping at the last-minute for Christmas, do not battle another for a parking place. If they are similarly crazed, you may just lose the front end of your car while the other driver yells “Tawanda! Tawanda!” at you as if they are Kath Bates in Green Fried Tomatoes.
9. When shopping at the last-minute for Christmas, do not take your children with you. At best, they will get in the way; at worst, they will be a witness to your stepped-up aggressive behavior when you Taser another parent for the last remaining iPod Nano.
8. When shopping at the last-minute for Christmas, do not leave home without a list. If you do, at best, you will no doubt forget something or someone. At worst, you will be tempted to grab armloads of stuff with the rationale what doesn’t work can be returned only to find out after Christmas that you were wrong.
7. When shopping at the last-minute for Christmas, do not think you are going to get anything on sale. If you think you will, at best, you will be disappointed. At worst, you will be afraid to go home given what you have spent.
6. When shopping at the last-minute for Christmas, do not forget sizes on your list. If you do, at best, you may just misjudge. At worst, you will get your mother-in-law an extra-large and you’ll never hear the end of it (even if it is the right size).
5. When shopping at the last-minute for Christmas, do not think expensive will take the place of thoughtful. If you do, at best, you will spend too much and become every one’s favorite gift giver. At worst, none of your gifts will be appreciated and all of them will be returned for cash.
4. When shopping at the last-minute for Christmas, do not have everything gift wrapped at the store. If you do, at best, it will appear as if you did not put your heart into the gifts. At worst, you could be accused of giving gifts you bought for someone else.
3. When shopping at the last-minute for Christmas, do not buy gifts that you yourself would not want to receive. If you do, at best, you might just get it back someday. At worst, the gift might be as tasteless as you thought it was and now you are the embarrassed recipient.
2. When shopping at the last-minute for Christmas, do not stop until your list is complete. If you do, at best, the person you left off will give you the best gift ever and you’ll have to admit that you got them nothing. At worst, your excuse of running out of time will be the straw that broke the camel’s back since you had a year to make it right.
1. When shopping at the last-minute for Christmas, do not stop humming your favorite Christmas song. If you do, you might break out in tears and nobody likes a crier this time of year.
Fiction Favorites 
Great list as usual. I’ve always wondered if there are people who get the gifts wrapped at the store and then forget which one is which.
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I wrap my own and forget which is which. Damn where di I put those car keys?
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Does that count as re-gifting?
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I think it may be de-gifting
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This is why Jews stick to school supplies and chocolate for our holiday. 🙂
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A great list, though I have one to top them all: Do not do your Christmas shopping until the last minute 😉 Our last gift has been lying wrapped under the tree since two weeks ago. It’s a new record.
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Oops! Do not LEAVE…
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He he
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We forgot one last year and when the tree came down there it was. Had been there since December 1.
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Good morning, John. Number 10 is my favorite since you don’t even have to be Christmas shopping to be confronted with deranged people in the parking lot. For me, all of these are good reasons to shop online 🙂
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True enough. Someday someone will figure out how to make shopping on-line a hassle as well.
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Oh, goodness, I hope not! Admittedly, I buy the same stuff for my family from the same source year after year (wreaths from LLBean) so perhaps I leave little chance for things to screw up … so far 😉
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Could have ticks in them. (that would be a hoot)
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Aargh! Don’t say that!
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termites then
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Ahhh, no, not allowed. Stop jinxing my wreaths 😉
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Okay a bow and berries and sweet pine smell.
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That’s better. Thank you 😉
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Morning John! I always look forward to these. I do most of my shopping online now. Often gifts come wrapped and I never see them. Sometimes the picture online of in the catalog looks a lot nicer that the actual gift. It has embarrassed me more than once 😦
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That’s why you should just give the picture and let the victim order the gift.
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Very good points all around. I trust you take your own advice? 🎅
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I usually ignore everything I say. I find it is more peaceful that way.
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Great list. Of course, the last minute-ears will leave it home when they dash out the door.
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Yes they will and suffer the consequences.
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Good list of for the day crunch and in a humorous way as well. Merry Christmas John. Many treats await you and others under my tree.
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I am so so happy to be able to say that I got all my Christmas shopping done over a week ago, huzzah! I’m usually a harried and angry person who rushes about spending absurd amounts of money and knocking errant children over with her shopping cart, but not this year. Not. This. Year.
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