Hump Day is as Hump Day Does

 

camel

Here is a quick story for hump day. Warning. . .  this one is a little weird and came rolling out of my head with little control. It is called My FLY.

My FLY by John W. Howell ©2014

“OMG, if I don’t find a place to lay these eggs soon I am going to burst.”

“Now dear you can put those eggs anywhere. You know that.”

“The doctor told me I needed to find some healthy waste so the babies would have a good start.”

“Start schmart. You know those little maggots don’t appreciate anything.”

“Yes, but it is a mother’s duty to give them the best chance.”

“Yeah and what does it get you. When’s the last time we heard from any of those adults? How many are there now a couple a billion?”

“Well dear I’m sure they are just busy. You know with flying around and looking for places to lay eggs. It is nowhere near a billion. I think millions would be more accurate. Of course, who knows how many have been taken by the giant swatter?”

“I heard old man Nichols got swatted last week.”

“Oh my. I hadn’t heard. How’s Mrs. Nichols?”

“Took it real hard. She hasn’t left her dung heap since.”

“I’ll have to stop by and give her my condolences.”

“Now there is an idea. You could kill two birds with one stone. Say hello and you’re sorry to Nichols, then drop off that pile of eggs.”

“You know it just might work. Get my suitcase it is time we went to give birth. Thanks for the idea.”

“No problem. We should probably fly low. I hear there is a swatter up high.”

“You know best dear.”

 

 

 

23 comments

  1. Dean's avatar

    Brilliant! I love it, its so clever!

    Like

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Aw. Thank you Dean

      Like

  2. Funny Guy's avatar

    Ungrateful maggots! Funny story thanks!

    Like

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thanks for stopping by. Glad you enjoyed it.

      Like

  3. Andra Watkins's avatar

    Now, that’s a hump. Ha.

    Like

  4. penpusherpen's avatar

    Gulp!! How sad, not hearing from any of their ungrateful offspring. ( Wow!! How many? 😉 ) A different slice of life, served up so well, xx

    Like

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thank you. Quite a complement from such a talent.

      Like

  5. Marie A Bailey's avatar

    You should post what comes “rolling out of [your] head with little control” more often. Favorite line: “She hasn’t left her dung heap since.” Made my morning 🙂

    Like

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      So glad you liked it. BTW am I on for the next list?

      Like

      1. Marie A Bailey's avatar

        No, it’s my turn. I have it written up, just need a picture 🙂

        Like

        1. John W. Howell's avatar

          With all this blog tour stuff I’m getting fuzzy. I’m glad it’s you. Bless you my child.

          Like

        2. Marie A Bailey's avatar

          You indeed have your hands full, but you are doing a wonderful job with the blog tour.

          Like

        3. John W. Howell's avatar

          Thank you so much.

          Like

  6. jorobinson176's avatar

    That is brilliant – cool John! 😀

    Like

  7. Charles Yallowitz's avatar

    Great story to get one through the middle of the week. For some reason the Old Man Nichols part had me chuckling.

    Like

  8. Kevin Brennan's avatar

    Icky. But hilarious. 💩

    Like

  9. S.K. Nicholls's avatar

    Brilliant to take something so trivial as a fly and work it into such a heartfelt story. A little twisted but brilliant.

    Like

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thanks. This came to me when I was riding my bike and a fly landed in my eye. (scheeze another alliteration)

      Like