Here is the 61st installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do. The inspiration came from watching a number of people out walking their dogs
Top Ten Things Not to do While Walking a Dog
10. If you are walking your dog, do not stop at a neighbor’s nice grassy place and let your dog do its thing. If you do, at best your neighbor will nicely ask you not to do that again. At worst, you will wake in the morning to a load of manure on your driveway with a note, “sorry about my elephant’s mistake. I’ll be back to pick it up later.”
9. If you are walking your dog, do not think other dogs would be fortunate to meet and play with yours without the other owner’s concurrence. If you do, at best the other dog’s owner will be nice enough to be patient and not sock you. At worst, the other owner’s dog is a rescue from a dog fighting ring and has been in a twelve-step program designed to stop aggressive fighting behavior and up to this moment has been doing beautifully.
8. If you are walking your dog and find you do not have a litter bag at the moment of truth, do not simply leave it there. If you do, at best someone will remind you of proper behavior. At worst, you may run into someone in a very bad mood who has just left the couples counseling session with the knowledge that they are considered a pushover and has just stepped in your dog’s mess.
7. If you are walking your dog do not think it is cute to let it run free with no leash. If you do, at best you will get unapprovingly stern looks from other dog owners. At worst, you may lose your dog around the corner and come to realize the animal control officer pulling away has it and the lion mix it was fighting in the back of the van.
6. If you are walking your dog do not think you can leave your dog tied up outside a store for long. If you do, at best your dog will bark and draw a crowd of unappreciative animal lovers. At worst, you will need to explain to animal control why you left your dog in the sun with no water while you are swinging from a tree upside down where the crowd left you.
5. If you are walking you dog you need to remember that the pavement gets hot in the summer. If you forget a, at best your dog will get tired enough of having hot paws and will jump into your arms to be carried for the rest of the way. At worst, the dog in your arms weighs over one hundred pounds and you will struggle to stay on your feet as you slowly return home barefooted followed by the patrol car with the police officer who threatened to ticket you for animal cruelty unless you gave him your shoes.
4. If you are walking your dog do not forget to bring water for the dog to drink. If you do forget, at best you walk will need to be cut short. At worst your dog will beg passersby to be adopted into foster care.
3. If you are walking your dog at night don’t think everyone can see you if you don’t have a light. If you do, at best you may find yourself jumping into a ditch to avoid the near misses of those who can’t see you. At worst, you may find yourself riding out-of-town on the front of a huge truck whose driver has no idea you and your dog are there hanging on for dear life.
2. If you are walking your dog don’t forget to keep an eye out for coyotes or other animals that might consider your dog a tasty treat. If you do, at best you may have to make a run for it unexpectedly. At worst, you might be in a position of having to go to a primal position and challenge the leader of the pack to a showdown while keeping your frightened pooch safe in your pants.
1. If you walking your dog, don’t forget all is well, and it is a beautiful day there is no more rewarding time. Keep your dog safe on a leash. If you do, at best you will enjoy your friend for years and there is no worse.
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Loved it! I have a dog and I must confess that we don’t always have her on leash, although I have to say that we live pretty much in the forest, Greece has absolutely no animal control service and she does seem to enjoy her freedom.
We also don’t have coyotes but we do have foxes, so we do keep an eye.
As for the hot paws, we once took our dog to the beach; she swam a lot and then sat under the umbrella. About 2 hours later we decided to leave, only the moment the dog stepped outside of her comfort zone (aka. the shade of the umbrella) she started crying because the sand was so hot and she promptly sat under the umbrella again, probably deciding that she could spend the rest of her life there. Needless to say, we had to carry her to the car and believe me, I can testify to your point 5 being true: she weighs about 50 pounds! 🙂
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Loved the antidote on the hot sand and your dog. We live on a beach and our boxer has become used to the hot sand. She never seems to mind a good walk no matter the temperature.
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I’m not a dog person but I sure can feel for a poor dog having to walk on a hot surface. Ouch.
I always enjoy your lists of Top Tens. 😀
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Thank you for enjoying them. I stopped by your place today and I must say I loved it. I have to admire your independance and choices. Great stuff.
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Sydnee Pee is not a friendly girl. Yes, she is pretty and adorable in her photos, but she is a lethal combo of German Shepard and Akita who was abused as a puppy and has three legs. She is very overly protective and has been hurt playing with other dogs. She is now almost 9 and has arthritis which is becoming more severe in her back legs. With all of that said, I do my best to walk her when no one else is around. I am the allusive neighbor with the dog who seems to hate everyone. Not the least bit true, but I must protect her and those who – allow their dogs run around off leashes and the others who walk their dogs on leashes. She is 55lbs and when she wants to dash after some thing it takes all of my strength to hold her back.
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We have fostered Boxers who are leash aggressive due to mistreatment. What you are doing is the best way. These poor guys feel so vulnerable when they are hooked up it is hard to train them to be otherwise. Thanks
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I liked #1 best 🙂 BUT # 3 made me laugh and reminded me of Roadrunner and Wyle E. Coyote cvartoons 🙂
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Glad you liked them. I love a good laugh and I know you do as well.
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Great list. I have no experience with dog walking, but I’d be freaking out about #2. Probably carry a baseball bat to be safe.
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Met a guy today who carries Mace while walking the dog.
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That can come in handy for so many things.
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If I hear one more person say their pit bull is “rilly friendly” just as it lunges at my poor little mutt, I’m going to spontaneously combust…
Excellent advice across the board, John!
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The other one I like is “I’m sorry.” (when an unleashed dog comes bounding up and then turns on the leashed dog. I always ask, “sorry for what the fact that you can’t obey the law, or you don’t give a damn for others?”
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