Ten things not to do when trying to decide what to watch on TV
This list was inspired by a recent visit to a friend’s house and observing some of the ways the friend decided which shows to watch.
10 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch, do not take a suggestion from anyone ages fourteen to eighteen. If you do, at best you will be lost in the translation. At worst, you will see and hear things that will keep you up at night.
9 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch, do not use the newspaper reviews as a guide to good programming. If you do, at best you will be asleep earlier than normal. At worst, you might find yourself wondering if you should discontinue your cable service.
8 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch, don’t ask someone else what they want to watch. If you do, at best you will get an icy stare when you ignore the suggestion. At worst, you may end up watching this and other shows in the privacy of the garage.
7 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch, do not scroll through the guide hoping something good will jump out at you. If you do, at best you will have to review one-hundred and sixty channels that are basically the same. At worst, those in the room may call an audible and you will lose your remote privileges for heaven knows how long.
6 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch, do not call a friend for a suggestion. If you do, at best the friend will want a report on the show. At worst, you will hate the show and either lie to the friend or turn a friend into an enemy.
5 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch and your in-laws are there, simply hand over the remote. If you don’t, at best they’ll miss their favorite show and hate you forever. At worst, they might like your selection and decide to return on the nights that it is on since they can’t remember which channel to tune.
4 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch and your significant other wants to do something else, turn the set off. If you don’t, at best you be watching the show alone. At worst, you might be watching the show and it will be your only company for the long cold winter.
3 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch, do not rely on the network hype about the “best new show of the season.” If you do you do, at best you might waste a half hour. At worst, you might waste a whole night depending on how many network hypes you followed.
2 If you are trying to decide which show to watch on TV, do not think the DVR will help. If you do, at best you may end up with a bunch of shows and no disk space. At worst you may have recorded all the clinkers of the season and while reviewing them miss the best.
1 If you are trying to decide which show to watch on TV, do not use any kind of gambling prop to help with the decision. If you do, at best the odds of getting something you want to watch are the same as the odds against you. At worst, your prop will be no more favorable to you in selecting a good show to watch than it has been in delivering sure thing winners.
Fiction Favorites 
Got it. Avoid TV and grab a book. 🙂
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Excellent advice and recognition of the moral of the story. You get a star.
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Do comics and graphic novels count?
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Of course.
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Just got back from having my eyes dilated. Think I need to learn Braille because anything with a white background is a haze.
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You can get some raised letter leys for your laptop.
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Starting to improve. I should be fine in time to help the son with homework and then take him along for choosing new frames.
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Great one, John! I remember the days when you actually had to get off the couch and walk over to the TV and turn the dial. And then maybe you had a 3 or 4 channels to choose from. Actually, today we really only have 3 or 4 channels to choose from 🙂 My husband is guilty of #7. Although I’ve never taken the remote away from him, I’ve been tempted to hide it. He’ll scroll through every channel and then settle on the one that we always watch anyway … if the weather is on, that is 😉 At least he (usually) remembers to have the TV on mute so I don’t have to suffer the cacophony of noise that results from channel surfing.
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We watch 60 minutes a day. 45 prerecorded 15 news. Can’t take anymore. Thanks, Marie. Have a great week. 🙂
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Great list here, John! I’m with Charles, I’d rather read.
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Me too. Thanks Jill.
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And this is why I read instead of watching television. Other than football, my tv is never even turned on. Of course when everyone starts talking about popular shows, I don’t have a clue what they are talking about
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I used to be with you on this until I started writing. I use the TV as a way to generate a certain awareness of what is going on from a brainless perspective. Thanks for the comment. 🙂
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I’m just not myself without my “Duck Dynasty.”
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Why do I think you are broadly satirical here? Maybe it’s your literary bent that keeps me from believing Duck Dynasty could hold your interest. Of course I could be totally wrong.
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There are a few TV shows I like to watch, but for the most part, I’m with everyone else here!
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Some have value. Inspiration comes in strange places.
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I totally agree with this (and BTW I missed Frank last week, so I have to go catch up with how he’s managing his attempt to be a good person) No one ever has advised me on a movie or a TV show that I have actually enjoyed and that goes for reviewers (my husband used to be a film reviewer), anything, really outside myself.
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Always iffy. I like things others hate and the other way around. Thanks
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Same here.
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Our recent English guests couldn’t understand why we didn’t have a TV. They spent a week at a beach house after they left us. Practically the first thing Alan said when I saw him again was, “Now I understand why you don’t have a TV. What rubbish!”
But everything is the world is overload these days. Too many options everywhere.
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Agree totally. Thanks
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Love it. TV is mostly boring except Dr Who of course. Love Peter Capaldi.
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I actually did away with TV back in September 2012. I have not missed it all. I do watch things via Internet streaming, though.
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The quality of TV shows is why my reading has increased by leaps and bounds. Very little out there worth watching.
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So agree.
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Tv is a nasty thing. I try to not watch it too much. Haha.
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