Saturday Stream of Consciousness time again. This week’s prompt is “Food” which can be used as the theme of this post. If you would like to know more and join this fun go to Linda Hill’s site http://lindaghill.com/2016/02/26/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-2716/ Here is my interpretation.
Food by John W. Howell © 2106
“So today class we are going to talk about food. Yes, Johnny.”
“Will this be on a test?”
“Well Johnny, I hate to tell you this, but the only way I can be sure you understand the lesson is to give you a test. So yes. There will be a test. Try to stay up with the class.”
“Most of the class sleeps during the lectures so I don’t think it will be too hard to stay up with them.”
“Very funny Johnny. Have you ever thought about being a writer?”
“No ma’am. I want to be able to make a living.”
“Okay, Johnny may I proceed?”
“Yes ma’am sorry about the interruption.”
“Now class in this segment we are going to learn how the body converts food to energy. Sigh, yes, Johnny.”
“Are you talking energy like oil and gas.”
“Well in the body food changes to elements that act like gas in a car.”
“Wow. We talking Methane?”
“Let’s not go there, Johnny. By the way do you need to visit the restroom?”
“No ma’am. Why do you ask?”
“Oh no reason I just would like to move on is all.”
“Oh, I get it. You would like me to be quiet.”
“I didn’t say that Johnny. May I proceed now?”
“Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry.”
“We will also learn the correct kinds of food to eat to maximize your body’s performance. What? John.”
“By performance are you talking running and that kind of stuff?”
“Yes, Johnny. That is exactly what I’m talking about. Thanks for clarifying that for us.”
“My dad eats wheat germ to help him sleep.”
“I’m not sure how wheat germ helps him sleep.”
“Me neither. He just says it helps his performance in the bedroom.”
“Fine Johnny. Let’s start the lesson shall we?”
“Yes, ma’am. Sorry for the interruption.”
“Now class who can tell me the most important meal of the day?”
“Yes, Charles.”
“Pizza.”
“Um. Anyone else want to try? Yes, Mary Lou.”
“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”
“Very good Mary Lo— Yes, Johnny what is it?”
“I think Charles is right. Pizza is the most important meal of the day. Especially if you don’t have any.”
“Okay, I give up. Here’s what we are going to do. I’m going to sit down in Johnny’s chair, and Johnny will teach the course. Come up here Johnny.”
“Thank you, teacher. Now class who can tell me the four major food groups.
“Yes, Simon.”
“Grilled cheese, bacon, pizza, and chocolate milk.”
“Correct. We need to add Ice cream and Snicker bars, but I think you have it. What’s the matter, Mrs. Crane? You crying?”
Fiction Favorites 
The four major food groups?
That would be Bread, Cream, Humble Pie and Meatloaf, yes?
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There’s also a case for Yardbirds…
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What, for cats?
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Depebds on what kind of birds you have in your yard; chickens, geese, pheasants, partridge, ducks …
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…although a “yardbird” is a new military recruit or a convict, so it’d also apply to cannibals I guess. ;~}
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Yes.
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ha ha ha.
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What the heck are those?
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Birds in your yard (or garden, this side of the pond)
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Oh. I was confused with the cap Y. 🙂
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Yardbirds – 1960s British group, featuring Jeff Beck and Jimmy Page (amongst others)
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I remember them.
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I’ll go with those.
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Yes! With a Lovin’ Spoonful of Humble Pie for dessert.
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Where do you get that pie?
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I think you’d have to go back to the 60s…
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Yes.
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Who? Oh. Yes.
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Nice. Gave me a chuckle – needed after taking Eos to have her stitches removed (sterilisation) only to have her throw up in the car on the way back!
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All dogs throw up in the car. It’s in the DNA. Hope she feels better.
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Ha ha! There’s only one food group for me and that’s cheese. Happy Weekend, John!
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I agree. The devil’s gift.
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This made me chuckle. Well done.
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Thanks for letting me know.
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Every class has a Johnny. As for pizza being the most important meal of the day, I have to agree with that. Only because I’ve seen breakfast pizzas. Large pancake or waffle with syrup, shredded coconut, and bacon bits. At least that was the version I saw long ago.
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Yum. Obviously I thought of you on that kid’sresponse. 🙂
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Thought the name looked familiar. Really need to get some pizza at some point.
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I kinda thought you were running low.
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Been using it as a reward for finishing projects on time. That hasn’t happened in a while. I still get pizza if someone else in the house decides it’s for dinner, but that’s rare.
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You sound like a Dumas character.
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Surprisingly, I’ve never read his stuff.
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Ah. Good stuff.
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Thanks for the snack, John.
You’re a master literary chef.
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Ha ha ha. Great comment. Thanks.
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I always heard it was beer, pizza, coffee, and donuts…
Methane… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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I like those four. A person would do well on that group. (Glad you liked the reference)
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LOL… Good one John.
Now where is that pizza coupon…? Have a satisfying Saturday. Mega hugs!
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It’s right there under the “Eat Right and Be Fit for Life” self help book. 😀 Hugs to you.
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Ha! Had to laugh out loud at that one.
I actually make my pizzas these days (not to imply that they are any healthier). I discovered that Indian Naan bread makes a great crust for a single-serving (with a little left over) pizza. Easy peazy
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Sounds delicious. I have been looking for a better crust. I’m going to try it.
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Johnny was such a polite interrupter. Any resemblance to you as a kid?
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Yes, I’m curious as to that too, John. I know there’s a story in it! 😀
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I drove my teachers crazy. They finally got it and gave me additional assignments which would keep me occupied. needless to say I was bored stiff before some kind of meeting produced the solution.
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Yes. I was a teacher’s nightmare. I went through school five years after my perfect sister. During one parent teacher meeting, the harried teacher who had taught my sister said, “He is a lot different than his sister.” My mom and she went on to have a good laugh at the differences.
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Somehow conversations like that always ended with me in the principal’s office. I guess I didn’t have Johnny’s gift for polite interruption. Nicely done John.
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Thanks Dan. I spent a fair amount of time on one of those hard chairs myself.
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Ha – that’s right John, hard wooden chairs. They must have had a brand “principal office chairs”
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Yes.
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Johnny is such a polite pest. Laughed myself silly by the end. “Mrs. Crane? You crying?” 😀 😀
😀 Poor teacher. I don’t blame her for her nervous breakdown.
I’m with the kids. Pizza is my food group. Just had some for lunch. Yum.
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MMMM. I love pizza.
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Me too. Have to stop loving it. It won’t do me proud.
😀 😀
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Yeah. I tends to want to hang around
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Sigh.
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*sigh*
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😀 😀 😀
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🙂
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And I raise you one…
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Great bit of comedy, John. “Me neither. He just says it helps his performance in the bedroom.” ha! That had me laughing at my desk. I wish I was in this class.
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Thanks Hugh. It would be fun to be there.
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Your poor teachers. I’ve got this feeling you drew upon personal experience while writing this.
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*blush* Sad to say I did.
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Nice job.
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Thank you Don.
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“We talking methane..” I laughed outloud. And by the end…yeah, I love this kid.
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He is a pip alright.
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Wheat germ helps him sleep. Hahahaha!
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Made you laugh!!!!
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It did! Thank you, John. 😀
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🙂
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