Photo: http://www.mollythecatlady.com
The inspiration for this list is the fact that a lot of folks are traveling for the holidays. Not every pet is comfortable with going along, so many owners place their pets in a boarding facility. Here are a few hints to keep the outside world from thinking you have clearly lost your mind. Yes, parting with your pet into the care of others is traumatic, but we need to exercise some element of dignity when surrendering the fur baby.
Top Ten Things Not to Do When Boarding Your Pet
10 If you are boarding your pet, do not deliver them dressed in an outrageous costume. If you do, at best it may get lost. At worst, your pet will be marked as the one belonging to a crazy old person who thinks their pet is a child. ( Did you ever wonder why your pet is depressed when you come back. Huh Ferd?)
9 If you are boarding your pet, do not ask to meet all the other pets to see if there are any undesirables in the group. if you do, at best the staff will be too busy to accommodate you. At worst, you will see some characters that will give you nightmares. (This isn’t a country club, Bunky. Your pet has to face the reality of the real world)
8 If you are boarding your pet, do not try to make friends with other pets by passing out treats. If you do, at best the staff will ask you to stop. At worst, one of the pets getting a treat happens to be allergic to everything. (Looks like Tiny the WWF champion is heading your way after helping Brutus get rid of the treat. Hope that automatic door is working)
7 If you are boarding your pet, do not hand the staff a long list of things they need to do to make your pet happy. If you do, at best the list will hit the basket the moment you leave. At worst, the staff will realize that to take in your pet may be a monumental liability that they cannot accept. (Now you have nowhere else to go, Buster, since you’ve been banned from every other kennel.)
6 If you are boarding your pet, do not overstate the ability of your pet to get along well with others. If you do, at best your pet will be quarantined from playtime. At worst, you will be called back from your trip to answer a summons relating to your unfriendly pet. (Maybe you can explain to the court that to your knowledge your Great Dane never had a taste for Dashound.)
5 If you are boarding your pet, do not insist on leaving a picture of the family to keep it company. If you do, at best the staff will lose the image. At worst, your pet will not appreciate having to share the cramped space with the photo. (Wonder how it got so wet Buford?)
4 If you are boarding your pet, do not think by paying extra for a live video feed you have the right to call the facility at all hours of the night. If you do, at best your calls will go to voicemail. At worst, you will be banned from this facility and asked to come get your pet. (This is the last one in town Raymond. What are you going to do now?)
3 If you are boarding your pet, do not spend an inordinate amount of time saying goodbye, If you do, at best the staff will need to get your pet settled and may tell you to go. At worst, your pet will wonder what is going on and may have an anxiety attack. (Not a pretty picture of you and your pet sobbing on the floor of the reception area.)
2 If you are boarding your pet, do not include all their favorite toys. If you do, at best your pet will not play with most. At worst, other pets will find the toys more enjoyable, and they will be lost to the pack forever. (Makes you wonder how the toys got out into the general population. Right Slick?)
1 If you are boarding your pet, do not forget to have all the immunizations up to date. If you do, at best the facility has a resident vet and can take care of that for you. At worst, you will be canceling your trip since no facility will allow you entry. (Well too bad those tickets are not refundable)
Fiction Favorites 
Reblogged this on O LADO ESCURO DA LUA.
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Thank you for the reblog. 🙂
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I never thought about other animals having allergies. Always thought it was only a human thing.
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We had a pooch with allergies. Tough stuff to work around. Thanks, Charles. 🙂
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What was he/she allergic too?
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She had wheat and grain allergies. Her food had to be grain free.
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All good and entertaining, John. We haven’t boarded an animal in years. Our vet used to board pets. The staff was so nice, I think our dog liked it there better than home. Then, staff changed, Dr. changed and the experience went down the tubes. It’s tough finding a good place.
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I know. We no longer board. If the dogs can’t go then we don’t either. Thanks, Dan. 🙂
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Hilarious, John. I figured Tiny might have a dog there. My dad boarded their Bassett once. The breed is mixed with Bloodhound. The dog smelled more expensive canned food of another dog and the woman gave it to him because he wouldn’t eat his own after that. The woman told my dad, “You got a spoiled dog.” Once back home, Dad tried to get him back on the less expensive food and he went on a hunger strike until Dad gave in. 😀 — Suzanne
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Ha ha ha. I can imagine that in our house except they already are on the expensive stuff. 😀
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After seeing the opening photo, I knew this would be hilarious. You did not disappoint, John…well done! Happy Monday!
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Thank you, Jill. 🙂 Great day to you.
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I always had neighbors pop in to take care of Oscar. He preferred being home in his space. Neighbor kids kept him entertained throughout the day. Win win for both households. Loved the list. I’ve attempted boarding and it was always just okay, no matter which plan I went with.
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I know what you mean. Hard to get a balance when boarding. Thanks, Audrey . 🙂
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Hmmm, so many of these apply to Angus whenever we leave him with the grandparents! Hope your week is starting off well, John.
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Thank you, Phillip. You as well. 🙂
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We’ve never boarded our cat – friends come over to feed him while we’re gone. He doesn’t play well with others – the staff would be eternally grateful to us for not leaving him there.
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I know. We had a cat name Cujo. (a twenty- two pound Maine Coon) He was known far and wide as incorrigible. We finally got a sitter. (Who was deathly afraid of him)
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It’s been over twenty years since I boarded a pet. I had the downhill experience with the last one. They started off great, staff rotated out, and it never was the same again.
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I know how it is. We have given up. Thanks, Craig.
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Always a joy to read, John! 🙂
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Ha ha ha. Thanks, Natalie. 🙂
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Because they’re worth it? 😛 My little delinquent quietly ate half a cushion today while I was on the other side of the sofa – luckily his walker is also his sitter and knows his sneaky ways….
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They are aren’t they. Thanks, Jan
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We’re staying put for Christmas this year, so no boarding for Dallas. Actually, he does pretty well with that, even though it’s only natural for owners to fret over their fur-kids. I think you’ve covered this one well, John — can you fathom the shame of a pet having to wear a costume to the kennel??!
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I’ve seen it. a little tutu on puppy. 😀
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Oh, no, the shame! ‘Tis bad enough when they put bunny ears or antlers on the poor things.
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Yes. 😀
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No. 4 hits close to home. Haha.
My two cats can’t be any more spoiled than they are–I hope.
You’ve covered pretty much every scenario. 🙂
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Thank you, Tess.
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You are welcome, John. 😛
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🙂
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I think this should all be kept in mind for me, too.
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Yes, for sure. When you check into a boarding facility.
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which i’ve been known to do
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Sure beats paying for a separate hotel room
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Great stuff, John! Cinderella loves her boarding place – well I suggested to her that she learn to love it – they love her, though!
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I’m sure they do. My Silky Terrier used to love to go to day care. Thanks, John.
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Comedic gold, John.
Well done.
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Thank you , Hook
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Ugh!
I plead guilty on several counts! Number 7….I had a rather detailed list for the staff, I wish I would have saved because I’d have posted it. Number 5, I left a pic of me and the kids AND a brand new roll of scotch tape for the staff. Of course, when I picked up my boxer, it was clear they hadn’t followed through on my wishes…shocking, I know. Number 3…I spent almost as much time with her in my lap as I spent on vacation! But I’d do it again.
This is hilarious, Sheriff. And so true.
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Thanks, Pilgrim. We have two Boxers and for the life of me, they are too sensitive to leave behind. They get hurt feelings when you tell them no to anything. Ah well. Life is too short to give them a minute of concern. 🙂 Merry Christmas if I don’t “talk” to you again till then.”
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