Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Green”

Stream of Consciousness

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this week’s prompt is “green.” Linda Hill says we can use the word any way we want. It is tough not to think of green in the context of St. Patrick’s Day, but I’m certainly going to try. Not that I have anything against St. Patrick’s Day. In fact, as a graduate of Notre Dame University, I embrace the day. (Happy St. Patrick’s Day) It’s just that using green in that context is so easy I have to resist. If you would like to have conflicts with yourself like this, why not join the group? Visit Linda Hill’s blog and find out how to become insecure really fast. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/03/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-17-18/

Green by John W. Howell © 2018

“Green, green, it’s green they say
On the far side of the hill
Green, green, I’m going away
To where the grass is greener still.”

“Okay is this the New Christy Minstrels—dope addition?”

“Aw, come on. My singing isn’t that bad.”

“You need to step outside yourself and listen once.”

“You’re just envious.”

“Oh, yes. I’m green with envy that I can call hogs as well as you.”

“Call hogs? Where did that idea come from?”

“Look behind you.”

“What the heck is that?”

“In my view, it grunts like a hog, it smells like a hog. Probably is a hog.”

“Where do you suppose this hog came from?”

“I would guess a farm.”

“Now you’re being a smart-ass. I mean how did it get here?”

“Want to do another stanza of Green, Green and find out?”

“No thank you. You’re saying my singing called this hog over here.”

“Yup.”

“Can’t be. The nearest farm is twenty miles away.”

“I think we should enter this hog in the Olympics. Seems it can sprint pretty fast. Has great distance too.”

“Why don’t you do something to help me instead of cracking the jokes.”

“Okay tell you what. Let’s put up some signs in the neighborhood advertising this found hog. Someone is sure to claim it.”

“In the meantime, where do you propose we keep it?”

“I have a thought but you’re not going to like it.”

“Try me.”

“Your room.”

“My room?”

“I think it would be very happy there.”

“Very funny.”

“Wasn’t meant to be humorous.”

 

48 comments

  1. Gwen Plano · ·

    LOL, seriously? This is hilarious. You’ve earned a blue ribbon on this story. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Here’s my green….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Love it GP. Thanks for the laugh.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Advertising a hog 😂😂 & keep it in the room 🙂 too modern for my taste 🙃

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I so agree. Way too modern. Thanks, Ray. 😀

      Like

  4. Sooie-weet, John. Let me know how you roommate gets along with the girls. If it doesn’t work out, I hope you have a good recipe for pulled-pork 🐖

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ha ha ha. Thanks, Dan. Great comment. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Sooie-weet, hahahahha! That made me snort. :mrgreen:

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ha ha – thanks.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. You’re too funny, John! Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you *sung to the tune of With a Little Help From My Friends by Joe Cocker.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. You what they say: finders eaters. I think.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. Excellent. 😀

      Like

  7. harmonykent · ·

    Hilarious, John! Another great SoCS post! 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Harmony. Super compliment. 😀

      Like

  8. Hilarious, John!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jennie.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, John.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Bwahahaha! Off to your room with that hog!

    Blessings on the Holy Day, Boss.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Teehee! I’m still laughing. Loved this one, John. Happy St. Patrick’s Day hugs! ☘️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Teagan. Hugs.

      Like

  11. Good one, John. I’ll be humming Green Green today, while thinking of hogs and eating corned beef. Happy St. Patty’s Day!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. I think the hogs are grateful for corned beef. Thanks, Mary

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I heard that one of the best way to hunt hogs is at night using a green a light, because hogs are not able to see the color green.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is true. When I was on a farm we used to load hogs into the semi by throwing a regular flashlight into the trailer. They were so curious they would load themselves.

      Like

  13. Green with envy! Your mind is too quick, King John of the SoCS! Always, TOP SHELF! ♥

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Billy Ray. 😀

      Like

  14. It would look perfectly at home in my kids’ rooms. Otto and Frankie would not share their cookies though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. Lucy and Bailey wouldn’t either.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Oh my God!! That is hilarious. Seriously, calling hogs. 🙂 Too funny, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Jan. Sometimes my silly comes out when stream of consciousness time is here.

      Like

  16. As a mother of two teenagers… I’m familiar with where hogs could stay. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. Thanks, Audrey.

      Like

  17. Well done, good sir. Happy St. Paddy’s day to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, John. And to you as well.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Too funny, John! Happy belated St. Patrick’s Day! ☘☘☘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Lauren

      Like

  19. Why did the hog cross the farm? To find out what sort of creature was making that racket! (Sorry, John … couldn’t resist) ♫ And if it’s any consolation, my family puts soundproofing headphones on when I start to sing. ♪

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ha ha ha. Whenever I sing people leave the room so I can empathize with you. Thanks, Jill.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. You had me at Green, Green! My favorite color, but lost me with the thought of a hog in a bedroom.

    I know. I’ve heard they’re wonderful pets, super smart, not smelly, and great companions, but I’ll stick to green foliage, and dogs. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m with you. Thanks. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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