Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Green”

Stream of Consciousness

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this week’s prompt is “green.” Linda Hill says we can use the word any way we want. It is tough not to think of green in the context of St. Patrick’s Day, but I’m certainly going to try. Not that I have anything against St. Patrick’s Day. In fact, as a graduate of Notre Dame University, I embrace the day. (Happy St. Patrick’s Day) It’s just that using green in that context is so easy I have to resist. If you would like to have conflicts with yourself like this, why not join the group? Visit Linda Hill’s blog and find out how to become insecure really fast. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/03/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-17-18/

Green by John W. Howell © 2018

“Green, green, it’s green they say
On the far side of the hill
Green, green, I’m going away
To where the grass is greener still.”

“Okay is this the New Christy Minstrels—dope addition?”

“Aw, come on. My singing isn’t that bad.”

“You need to step outside yourself and listen once.”

“You’re just envious.”

“Oh, yes. I’m green with envy that I can call hogs as well as you.”

“Call hogs? Where did that idea come from?”

“Look behind you.”

“What the heck is that?”

“In my view, it grunts like a hog, it smells like a hog. Probably is a hog.”

“Where do you suppose this hog came from?”

“I would guess a farm.”

“Now you’re being a smart-ass. I mean how did it get here?”

“Want to do another stanza of Green, Green and find out?”

“No thank you. You’re saying my singing called this hog over here.”

“Yup.”

“Can’t be. The nearest farm is twenty miles away.”

“I think we should enter this hog in the Olympics. Seems it can sprint pretty fast. Has great distance too.”

“Why don’t you do something to help me instead of cracking the jokes.”

“Okay tell you what. Let’s put up some signs in the neighborhood advertising this found hog. Someone is sure to claim it.”

“In the meantime, where do you propose we keep it?”

“I have a thought but you’re not going to like it.”

“Try me.”

“Your room.”

“My room?”

“I think it would be very happy there.”

“Very funny.”

“Wasn’t meant to be humorous.”

 

48 comments

  1. Gwen M. Plano's avatar
    Gwen Plano · ·

    LOL, seriously? This is hilarious. You’ve earned a blue ribbon on this story. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. GP's avatar

    Here’s my green….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Love it GP. Thanks for the laugh.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Victoria Ray NB's avatar

    Advertising a hog 😂😂 & keep it in the room 🙂 too modern for my taste 🙃

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      I so agree. Way too modern. Thanks, Ray. 😀

      Like

  4. Dan Antion's avatar

    Sooie-weet, John. Let me know how you roommate gets along with the girls. If it doesn’t work out, I hope you have a good recipe for pulled-pork 🐖

    Liked by 2 people

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Ha ha ha. Thanks, Dan. Great comment. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Teagan Riordain Geneviene's avatar

      Sooie-weet, hahahahha! That made me snort. :mrgreen:

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dan Antion's avatar

        Ha ha – thanks.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Jill Weatherholt's avatar

    You’re too funny, John! Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you *sung to the tune of With a Little Help From My Friends by Joe Cocker.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Charles Yallowitz's avatar

    You what they say: finders eaters. I think.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Ha ha ha. Excellent. 😀

      Like

  7. harmonykent's avatar
    harmonykent · ·

    Hilarious, John! Another great SoCS post! 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thank you, Harmony. Super compliment. 😀

      Like

  8. Jennie's avatar

    Hilarious, John!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thank you, Jennie.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Jennie's avatar

        You’re welcome, John.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Sorryless's avatar

    Bwahahaha! Off to your room with that hog!

    Blessings on the Holy Day, Boss.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Teagan Riordain Geneviene's avatar

    Teehee! I’m still laughing. Loved this one, John. Happy St. Patrick’s Day hugs! ☘️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thank you, Teagan. Hugs.

      Like

  11. bikerchick57's avatar

    Good one, John. I’ll be humming Green Green today, while thinking of hogs and eating corned beef. Happy St. Patty’s Day!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Yes. I think the hogs are grateful for corned beef. Thanks, Mary

      Liked by 1 person

  12. newepicauthor's avatar

    I heard that one of the best way to hunt hogs is at night using a green a light, because hogs are not able to see the color green.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      That is true. When I was on a farm we used to load hogs into the semi by throwing a regular flashlight into the trailer. They were so curious they would load themselves.

      Like

  13. Website: http://brchitwood.com - B R Chitwood - My Mission: Writing to Discover Me's avatar

    Green with envy! Your mind is too quick, King John of the SoCS! Always, TOP SHELF! ♥

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thanks, Billy Ray. 😀

      Like

  14. coldhandboyack's avatar

    It would look perfectly at home in my kids’ rooms. Otto and Frankie would not share their cookies though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Ha ha ha. Lucy and Bailey wouldn’t either.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Author Jan Sikes's avatar

    Oh my God!! That is hilarious. Seriously, calling hogs. 🙂 Too funny, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thanks, Jan. Sometimes my silly comes out when stream of consciousness time is here.

      Like

  16. Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister's avatar

    As a mother of two teenagers… I’m familiar with where hogs could stay. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Ha ha ha. Thanks, Audrey.

      Like

  17. John Fioravanti's avatar
    John Fioravanti · ·

    Well done, good sir. Happy St. Paddy’s day to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thanks, John. And to you as well.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. John Fioravanti's avatar
        John Fioravanti · ·

        👍

        Liked by 1 person

  18. Lauren Scott, Author's avatar

    Too funny, John! Happy belated St. Patrick’s Day! ☘☘☘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thanks, Lauren

      Like

  19. jilldennison's avatar

    Why did the hog cross the farm? To find out what sort of creature was making that racket! (Sorry, John … couldn’t resist) ♫ And if it’s any consolation, my family puts soundproofing headphones on when I start to sing. ♪

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      ha ha ha. Whenever I sing people leave the room so I can empathize with you. Thanks, Jill.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. circadianreflections's avatar

    You had me at Green, Green! My favorite color, but lost me with the thought of a hog in a bedroom.

    I know. I’ve heard they’re wonderful pets, super smart, not smelly, and great companions, but I’ll stick to green foliage, and dogs. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      I’m with you. Thanks. 😀

      Liked by 1 person