Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #176 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

 

The photo

Kreative Kue # 176

Birdman by John W. Howell © 2018

“Hi, sir. We are from Channel Ten News and wonder if we may have a minute.”

“Well, it depends.”

“Depends, sir?”

“Yes. It depends on what you want.”

“Oh, sir we don’t want anything. We are doing a feature on unusual animal owners and would like to ask you a couple of questions.”

“I can’t see the harm in that. Okay, shoot.”

“You don’t mind if we film our interview do you?”

“Um. Where is this going to show up.”

“We have a feature every Sunday called Animal Friends. If this interview works out it will be this Sunday at ten o’clock.”

“Aw, that’s a shame.”

“Why’s that sir?”

“My bedtime is nine thirty. I guess I’ll miss it.”

“Do you have a DVR?”

“Why yes. Yes, I do.”

“Problem solved. Just record the show and play it back in the morning.”

“Do you know how to set the thing?”

“No really, sir I can’t. Maybe you can get help or use the instruction manual.”

“I guess my nephew can do it.”

“Okay then. How about those questions.”

“Shoot.”

“Okay, Leroy, start filming in three, two, one. This is Jefferson here with… uh . . .Okay cut. I forgot to get your name.”

“Aloysius Bronnowitz.”

“Can I call you Al.”

“You can call me Al. I like that song too.”

“Okay let’s go from the top. Three, two, one. This is Jefferson here with Al Bonnowitz who we’ve been told is a kind of bird whisperer. Hi Al.”

“Hi, Jefferson.”

“Tell me, Al, how did you become a birds whisperer?”

“I don’t think I know what you are talking about.”

“That bird, Al. It is sitting on your hand.”

“Yeah what about it?”

“What makes it do that?”

“Well, you see birds have these feet with claws. They wrap them around—”

“Al.”

“What?”

“We all know how birds perch. Why is it perched on your hand?”

“I guess it got tired of the tree limb.”

“Come on, Al. Give me something here. Not everyone can have a bird sitting on their hand.”

“I don’t see why not.”

“It is not that common, Al.”

“Oh, so you think I have special powers.”

“Exactly.”

“Okay. I am able to talk to birds.”

“Now we are getting somewhere. What do the birds say to you?”

“They say all kinds of things.”

“Like what?”

“Well, there’s ‘Tweet, twittle, tweet.’  Also, ‘Twee twit two hoo.”‘

“Al.”

“What.”

“Translate that for our audience.”

“The first was, ‘Look at that clean car.”‘

“And the second?”

“That reporter has a nice clean head.”

“Okay, Al. I’m not going to ask about your t-shirt and we need to be going. Thank you.”

 

48 comments

  1. Gwen Plano · ·

    Great dialogue, John. As always, I love these morning smiles. Have a fantastic day. 😊

    1. You as well, Gwen. Thanks. 😀

  2. Great one John. I particularly appreciate the Paul Simon reference (not that I would ever be tempted to drop song titles or lyrics into my stuff, of course).

    1. Right you are. Thanks, Keith. Loved the T-shirt.

  3. Nice job, John! Happy Tuesday!

    1. Thank you, Jill. 😀 Hope your day is terrific.

  4. Didn’t even notice the T-shirt. Nice one.

    1. Thanks, Charles.

  5. Only you could come up with a story like that. I noticed the T-shirt, but couldn’t think of a way to make a one-liner out of it.

    1. I think I figured out what is says and decided to stay away from it. Thanks, GP.

  6. Good one, John. I’m guessing he didn’t need to call the nephew.

    1. No he didn’t.

  7. Great writing, John, and may we add, an equally great translation. You do ‘bird’ so well.

    1. Rossetta stone bird course.

  8. Just, wow. Maybe they can find a kid with a frog for this week’s segment.

  9. Amazingly imaginative, good sir. Bravo!

    1. Thank you , John

  10. Live TV — and the likelihood of interviews like this one — make me glad I was a print journalist, John. Well done!

    1. I totally understand. Thanks, Debbie.

  11. Humorous and entertaining, as always! 🙂

    1. Thank you, Jan. Two objectives met. 😀

  12. D.L Finn, Author · ·

    Had me laughing. Love the bird translations:)

    1. Didn’t know I speak bird did you? Thanks, Denise.

      1. D.L Finn, Author · ·

        I did not. I was very impressed;)

  13. The characters you come up with are always so colorful, LOL. Hmm…now you have me wondering if my cat understands bird talk. 🙂
    Good one, John!

    1. Thank you , Mae. Maybe the birds understand cat.

  14. Too clean head I guess. Oh I don’t know why but it reminds me about those guys who always wanna talk to me about the animals or people in need. I’m def having that kind of “willing to help”-face, sigh.
    Great dialogue 😎😂

    1. I think maybe they want to appear deeper to you. You know the old “I have deep thoughts and concerns about mankind and animals and no thought at all of wanting anything from you.” 😀

      1. Lol …sigh, that’s why they always asks for money 😅😾🙀

      2. Ha ha ha. (Talking to the wrong kind of guys)

  15. “Hi, Al, what’s wrong with your hand?”

    “Nothing’s wrong my hand, Jacob! Can’t you see this bird?”

    “Well, I’m far-sighted, Al…but, let me move a little closer… Oh, yeah! now, I can see it. Hah, what’s he doing on your hand, Al?”

    “It’s not what the bird is doing, Jacob, it’s what the bird ain’t doing…”

    “Well, Al, what is it the bird ain’t doing?”

    “The darned bug’s not eating the bug off the end of my finger, Jacob!”

    “Reckon he ain’t hungry, Al… I’ll be seein ya! Them bugs ain’t healthy, Al! Ya better rub some alcohol on that finger there!”

    “Yeah! Write if you get work, Jacob! Hey, bug, ain’t got all day here!”

    The bird flies off, and Al ends up rubbing some corn liquor to that spot on his finger.

    Well, fellers, that’s tha way I see it, ya heah!

    (John, for your edicashun, I’m startun up a wurkshop on diaglogging! Wanta Join up? Just sayen!) ♥♥♥ [Thanks for putting up with my silliness, good John!]

    1. You are a funny man, Billy Ray. I enjoyed your story. 😀

  16. John,

    First of all, I LOVE that song. And yes . . it was running through my head after you mentioned it, all the way to the end. And it fit, quite nicely.

    As for those birds, they are uber aggressive don’t you think? Threatening air invasions and putting a price on that reporter’s head even! I wouldn’t mess with those birds. Or that bird ‘whisperer’ . . .

    1. We have some very crafty gulls around here. They can spot a clean car from two miles. I wonder what would happen if they got organized. Thanks, Marc.

      1. No bueno. Except for maybe the car wash!

  17. I once had a bird leave his mess on my new sweater. The aim was perfect. Had to laugh.
    Great write, John.

    1. He was actually going for the glasses, Audrey. 😀

  18. Haha! This was excellent, John.

    1. Thank you, Jennie.

      1. You’re welcome, John.

  19. That gave me a chuckle. I’ve heard of the horse whisperer, but not the bird whisperer, John. Your sense of humour always shines through brightly in these stories.

    1. Aw. Thank you, Hugh.

  20. […] Birdman by John W. Howell © 2018 […]

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