Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #176 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

 

The photo

Kreative Kue # 176

Birdman by John W. Howell © 2018

“Hi, sir. We are from Channel Ten News and wonder if we may have a minute.”

“Well, it depends.”

“Depends, sir?”

“Yes. It depends on what you want.”

“Oh, sir we don’t want anything. We are doing a feature on unusual animal owners and would like to ask you a couple of questions.”

“I can’t see the harm in that. Okay, shoot.”

“You don’t mind if we film our interview do you?”

“Um. Where is this going to show up.”

“We have a feature every Sunday called Animal Friends. If this interview works out it will be this Sunday at ten o’clock.”

“Aw, that’s a shame.”

“Why’s that sir?”

“My bedtime is nine thirty. I guess I’ll miss it.”

“Do you have a DVR?”

“Why yes. Yes, I do.”

“Problem solved. Just record the show and play it back in the morning.”

“Do you know how to set the thing?”

“No really, sir I can’t. Maybe you can get help or use the instruction manual.”

“I guess my nephew can do it.”

“Okay then. How about those questions.”

“Shoot.”

“Okay, Leroy, start filming in three, two, one. This is Jefferson here with… uh . . .Okay cut. I forgot to get your name.”

“Aloysius Bronnowitz.”

“Can I call you Al.”

“You can call me Al. I like that song too.”

“Okay let’s go from the top. Three, two, one. This is Jefferson here with Al Bonnowitz who we’ve been told is a kind of bird whisperer. Hi Al.”

“Hi, Jefferson.”

“Tell me, Al, how did you become a birds whisperer?”

“I don’t think I know what you are talking about.”

“That bird, Al. It is sitting on your hand.”

“Yeah what about it?”

“What makes it do that?”

“Well, you see birds have these feet with claws. They wrap them around—”

“Al.”

“What?”

“We all know how birds perch. Why is it perched on your hand?”

“I guess it got tired of the tree limb.”

“Come on, Al. Give me something here. Not everyone can have a bird sitting on their hand.”

“I don’t see why not.”

“It is not that common, Al.”

“Oh, so you think I have special powers.”

“Exactly.”

“Okay. I am able to talk to birds.”

“Now we are getting somewhere. What do the birds say to you?”

“They say all kinds of things.”

“Like what?”

“Well, there’s ‘Tweet, twittle, tweet.’  Also, ‘Twee twit two hoo.”‘

“Al.”

“What.”

“Translate that for our audience.”

“The first was, ‘Look at that clean car.”‘

“And the second?”

“That reporter has a nice clean head.”

“Okay, Al. I’m not going to ask about your t-shirt and we need to be going. Thank you.”

 

48 comments

  1. Gwen Plano · ·

    Great dialogue, John. As always, I love these morning smiles. Have a fantastic day. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You as well, Gwen. Thanks. 😀

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  2. Great one John. I particularly appreciate the Paul Simon reference (not that I would ever be tempted to drop song titles or lyrics into my stuff, of course).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right you are. Thanks, Keith. Loved the T-shirt.

      Like

  3. Nice job, John! Happy Tuesday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jill. 😀 Hope your day is terrific.

      Like

  4. Didn’t even notice the T-shirt. Nice one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Charles.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Only you could come up with a story like that. I noticed the T-shirt, but couldn’t think of a way to make a one-liner out of it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think I figured out what is says and decided to stay away from it. Thanks, GP.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Good one, John. I’m guessing he didn’t need to call the nephew.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No he didn’t.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Great writing, John, and may we add, an equally great translation. You do ‘bird’ so well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rossetta stone bird course.

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  8. Just, wow. Maybe they can find a kid with a frog for this week’s segment.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Amazingly imaginative, good sir. Bravo!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you , John

      Like

  10. Live TV — and the likelihood of interviews like this one — make me glad I was a print journalist, John. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally understand. Thanks, Debbie.

      Like

  11. Humorous and entertaining, as always! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jan. Two objectives met. 😀

      Like

  12. D.L Finn, Author · ·

    Had me laughing. Love the bird translations:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Didn’t know I speak bird did you? Thanks, Denise.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. D.L Finn, Author · ·

        I did not. I was very impressed;)

        Liked by 1 person

  13. The characters you come up with are always so colorful, LOL. Hmm…now you have me wondering if my cat understands bird talk. 🙂
    Good one, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you , Mae. Maybe the birds understand cat.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Too clean head I guess. Oh I don’t know why but it reminds me about those guys who always wanna talk to me about the animals or people in need. I’m def having that kind of “willing to help”-face, sigh.
    Great dialogue 😎😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think maybe they want to appear deeper to you. You know the old “I have deep thoughts and concerns about mankind and animals and no thought at all of wanting anything from you.” 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lol …sigh, that’s why they always asks for money 😅😾🙀

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ha ha ha. (Talking to the wrong kind of guys)

        Liked by 1 person

  15. “Hi, Al, what’s wrong with your hand?”

    “Nothing’s wrong my hand, Jacob! Can’t you see this bird?”

    “Well, I’m far-sighted, Al…but, let me move a little closer… Oh, yeah! now, I can see it. Hah, what’s he doing on your hand, Al?”

    “It’s not what the bird is doing, Jacob, it’s what the bird ain’t doing…”

    “Well, Al, what is it the bird ain’t doing?”

    “The darned bug’s not eating the bug off the end of my finger, Jacob!”

    “Reckon he ain’t hungry, Al… I’ll be seein ya! Them bugs ain’t healthy, Al! Ya better rub some alcohol on that finger there!”

    “Yeah! Write if you get work, Jacob! Hey, bug, ain’t got all day here!”

    The bird flies off, and Al ends up rubbing some corn liquor to that spot on his finger.

    Well, fellers, that’s tha way I see it, ya heah!

    (John, for your edicashun, I’m startun up a wurkshop on diaglogging! Wanta Join up? Just sayen!) ♥♥♥ [Thanks for putting up with my silliness, good John!]

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are a funny man, Billy Ray. I enjoyed your story. 😀

      Like

  16. John,

    First of all, I LOVE that song. And yes . . it was running through my head after you mentioned it, all the way to the end. And it fit, quite nicely.

    As for those birds, they are uber aggressive don’t you think? Threatening air invasions and putting a price on that reporter’s head even! I wouldn’t mess with those birds. Or that bird ‘whisperer’ . . .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We have some very crafty gulls around here. They can spot a clean car from two miles. I wonder what would happen if they got organized. Thanks, Marc.

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      1. No bueno. Except for maybe the car wash!

        Liked by 1 person

  17. I once had a bird leave his mess on my new sweater. The aim was perfect. Had to laugh.
    Great write, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He was actually going for the glasses, Audrey. 😀

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  18. Haha! This was excellent, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jennie.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, John.

        Liked by 1 person

  19. That gave me a chuckle. I’ve heard of the horse whisperer, but not the bird whisperer, John. Your sense of humour always shines through brightly in these stories.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw. Thank you, Hugh.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. […] Birdman by John W. Howell © 2018 […]

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