Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Bug”

Stream of Consciousness

It is Stream of Conscious Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is “bug.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. (that’s a relief. I hate to be shoved into using a word in a way I don’t want.” If you would like to have a go at this fun visit Linda Hill’s blog and read how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS June 23/18

Bug by John W. Howell © 2018

“Ixnay on the alktay.”

“Okay, so what weird thing do we have going today?”

“Read my lips.”

“I can’t understand a thing you are saying with those chapped lips.”

“For heaven’s sake. I think our place has a bug in it.”

“A bug? No biggie. Get some Raid.”

“Not that kind of bug you idiot. A listening device bug.”

“I see we’ve been reading too many spy novels.”

“I’m serious. I think someone is listening.”

“Okay genius. If so you have tipped them off that you know they are listening.”

“I tried to give you a sign.”

“Pig Latin is not a sign.”

“I mean with my lips.”

“You looked like you were passing gas. Your lips didn’t tell me a thing.”

“So now what do we do?”

“I don’t know about you, but I’m going to confess to tearing off the mattress tags.”

“Come on. Be serious.”

“I think it’s time for you to be serious. What makes you think someone is listening.”

“Strange things happening.”

“Like what?”

“Well, I was in that fast food place and ordered a hamburger.”

“Yes?”

“You know how much I love french fries. I even said to you before I left the house that I wish I could have some fries.”

“Yeah, I remember. You want to lose some weight, so you are not having any.”

“Well, that’s just it. When I placed my order, the server said, “Do you want fries with that?”

“So?”

“How did the server know I wanted the fries unless whoever is listening called ahead and told.”

“I think you need to lay down.”

“And supersize. How did the server know to ask? It keeps going on and on. When I couldn’t find the rye bread at the supermarket how did the checker know to ask if I found everything okay?” How does the gas pump know to ask “debit or credit?”

“I’m going to call the doctor in a minute if you don’t stop.”

“You better heed these warnings. As for me, I’m going to stop talking in the house. Do you hear that Mr. CIA? No more talking.”

“My prayers have been answered.”

“What’s that?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

 

 

 

25 comments

  1. That’s definitely a happy ending.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. Thanks, Charles.

      Like

  2. LOL! Good one, John. Happy Saturday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy Saturday to you, Jill. * Sung to the tune of the 59th Street Bridge Song by Simon and Garfunkle.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Gwen Plano · ·

    I suspect the CIA would have given up a long time ago. But, maybe even they need a morning smile. Another good one, John. Have a great day 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I suspect you are right. Thank you, Gwen. Have even a better one than great. 😀

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  4. All I know is that if they were listening to me, there would be more beer in the fridge and more chips in the pantry – I think they’re listening to my wife.

    ouldgay objay John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hanktay ouyay. Anday. I think they may be listening to your wife as well.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. They r everywhere…bugs in each mobile device maybe? 😉

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  6. Lol! Thanks for the morning chuckle.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. ‘Da Bug es goot!’ ♥

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Billy Ray

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  8. Lovely job on the prompt, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, John

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Mum’s the word! LOL, John you slayed me from chapped lips to passing gas and stayed on a roll. Happy weekend hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love to tickle your funny bone. Thanks for letting me know I was successful. Hugs

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I thought pig Latin, passing gas and tearing the tags off of mattresses was funny… then there was ‘my prayers have been answered’. Hilarious, John!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. As soon as I saw the prompt, I knew I was in for a laugh. But, I didn’t know it would be a belly laugh! Chapped lips, passing gas, fries supersized….Oh Lord! The mind of John Howell is a scary place, but oh, so entertaining. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha haha. Sometimes I scare myself. Thanks, Jan

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  12. John,

    So clever and funny, as per usual. My whole thing with the mattress tags . . when are they going to catch up with the times and go tagless?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Marc.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Hilarious John! Chapped lips, passing gas, bugs in the house…funny! Thanks for the morning laugh out loud moment!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it, Deborah.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I’ve often wondered why I didn’t find a nice mute girl to marry.

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