Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Mean(s)

 

Stream of Consciousness

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “mean (s). Linda Hill says we can use the prompt with or without the (s). Maybe I’ll use them both. If you would like to participate in this fun go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Nov. 10/18

Mean(s) by John W. Howell © 2018

“What does that mean?”

“I think it is pretty clear.”

“If it were clear I wouldn’t ask.”

“You ask a lot of questions so how am I supposed to know if something is clear to you or not?”

“It’s not clear to me.”

“Okay. The sign means to keep off the grass.”

“Why does it say, ‘Touch Not?'”

“I figure that would cover everything. Feet, hands, body. You name it, ‘Touch Not’ means no part of anyone should be on my grass.”

“You are a mean mother. You know that?

“Why would you say I’m mean?”

“Who cares if someone steps on your precious grass. It is meant to be walked on.”

“Oh no, it is not meant to be walked on. Grass means green visual. Nothing else.”

“Green visual. Did you just make that up?”

“Maybe. I think that is what grass means to me.”

“What about picnics, flying kites, lawn bowling, and crochet?”

“On someone else’s grass.”

“I can tell you this attitude means a potential for a lonely old age.”

“If those who want to visit me mean to walk on my grass, I would be happy being lonely.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do mean that. My ‘Touch Not’ sign goes up tomorrow.”

“Why not today?”

“It would mean postponing my lawn party.”

“You are a disturbed person. You know that right?

“Talk about mean?”

 

49 comments

  1. robertawrites235681907's avatar

    Haha, fantastic John. It reminds me of Miss Trunchbull from Matilda by Roald Dahl.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. harmonykent's avatar
    harmonykent · ·

    Love this, John! Have a great weekend 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      You as well, Harmony.

      Like

  3. Gwen M. Plano's avatar
    Gwen Plano · ·

    Excellent, John, one of your best and, I mean that! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Ha ha ha. Thank you , Gwen

      Like

  4. The Hook's avatar

    You know what’s clear to me, John?
    You’re a brilliant bugger, man.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      What a nice thing to say, Hook. Thank you.
      😀

      Like

  5. Dan Antion's avatar

    Enjoy today, for tomorrow you’re banished to the sidewalk. Nice job with the promt, John and nice twist at the end. I know you don’t mean this because Twiggy seems to like laying in the grass.

    Have a great weekend 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      So true. This was a riff on a childhood neighbor. She would call our parents if we stepped on her lawn. Mrs. Burkhard. Very mean.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Dan Antion's avatar

        Ours was Mrs Quinn – evil woman.

        Like

      2. J-Dub's avatar

        Ours was Mrs. Stokes. And she’d keep any ball that made it’s way to her yard by accident too.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. John W. Howell's avatar

          Yeah. We all had one. Lots of eggs on her new aluminium porch awning though. (I hope)

          Liked by 1 person

  6. Charles Yallowitz's avatar

    Definitely sounds like suburbia. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Ha haha. It does. Thanks, Charles.

      Like

  7. Jill Weatherholt's avatar

    Great job with this one, John! Happy Saturday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thank you, Jill. Happy Saturday to you. *sung to the tune of Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Author Jan Sikes's avatar

    She means it…she means it not. 🙂 Great one, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thank you, Jan. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Sorryless's avatar

    Welp, you know what they say. It’s all in the timing!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. bikerchick57's avatar

    So…how do your pups figure into the grass thing? I mean they touch it all the time and leave little brown piles for you to pick out of the grass. They must have an exemption of some sort, right?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      They own our home. We are the ones with exemptions. Thanks, Mary.

      Like

      1. bikerchick57's avatar

        Interesting. I thought it was only cuts who claimed ownership. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

        1. John W. Howell's avatar

          Nope. In numbers these guys get to set a strategy.

          Liked by 1 person

  11. Linda G. Hill's avatar

    Haha! You know, the “Touch not” sign is bound to be followed up by a “Pee not” sign.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      I liked the PooP Not one as well Thanks, Linda.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Teagan Riordain Geneviene's avatar

    I agree with Hook, John. Fun post. I hope it’s a satisfying Saturday. Great big hug!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thank you, Teagan. Big Hug to you.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. D.L. Finn, Author's avatar
    D.L Finn, Author · ·

    I’ve met people like this…lol

    Liked by 1 person

  14. GP's avatar

    She means it, means it not – she should be part of the Ways and Means Committee!!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. coldhandboyack's avatar

    Trying to come up with something where “mean” is used for average. I got nothing, because none of your posts are average.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Aw. What a nice thing to say. You could go with the calculated mean where there are 50% above and 50% below the mean.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Jennie's avatar

    Haha! Lawn party first. Well done, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thank you, Jennie.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Jennie's avatar

        You’re welcome, John.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thank you, Traci.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Traci Ashbe's avatar

        You’re welcome, John!

        Liked by 1 person

  17. Lauren Scott, Author's avatar

    This is great, John, and I didn’t expect that ending. Thanks for the smiles!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thank you, Lauren. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Dale's avatar

    This was fun (as you can see, I’m trying to play catch up with my favourite bloggers… it’s a losing battle, I fear…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Ah well. We will love you no matter.

      Liked by 1 person