It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “mean (s). Linda Hill says we can use the prompt with or without the (s). Maybe I’ll use them both. If you would like to participate in this fun go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link.
Mean(s) by John W. Howell © 2018
“What does that mean?”
“I think it is pretty clear.”
“If it were clear I wouldn’t ask.”
“You ask a lot of questions so how am I supposed to know if something is clear to you or not?”
“It’s not clear to me.”
“Okay. The sign means to keep off the grass.”
“Why does it say, ‘Touch Not?'”
“I figure that would cover everything. Feet, hands, body. You name it, ‘Touch Not’ means no part of anyone should be on my grass.”
“You are a mean mother. You know that?
“Why would you say I’m mean?”
“Who cares if someone steps on your precious grass. It is meant to be walked on.”
“Oh no, it is not meant to be walked on. Grass means green visual. Nothing else.”
“Green visual. Did you just make that up?”
“Maybe. I think that is what grass means to me.”
“What about picnics, flying kites, lawn bowling, and crochet?”
“On someone else’s grass.”
“I can tell you this attitude means a potential for a lonely old age.”
“If those who want to visit me mean to walk on my grass, I would be happy being lonely.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do mean that. My ‘Touch Not’ sign goes up tomorrow.”
“Why not today?”
“It would mean postponing my lawn party.”
“You are a disturbed person. You know that right?
“Talk about mean?”
Haha, fantastic John. It reminds me of Miss Trunchbull from Matilda by Roald Dahl.
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Thanks, Robbie.
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Love this, John! Have a great weekend 😊
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You as well, Harmony.
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Excellent, John, one of your best and, I mean that! 🙂
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Ha ha ha. Thank you , Gwen
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You know what’s clear to me, John?
You’re a brilliant bugger, man.
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What a nice thing to say, Hook. Thank you.
😀
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Enjoy today, for tomorrow you’re banished to the sidewalk. Nice job with the promt, John and nice twist at the end. I know you don’t mean this because Twiggy seems to like laying in the grass.
Have a great weekend 🙂
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So true. This was a riff on a childhood neighbor. She would call our parents if we stepped on her lawn. Mrs. Burkhard. Very mean.
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Ours was Mrs Quinn – evil woman.
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Ours was Mrs. Stokes. And she’d keep any ball that made it’s way to her yard by accident too.
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Yeah. We all had one. Lots of eggs on her new aluminium porch awning though. (I hope)
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🙂
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Definitely sounds like suburbia. 😛
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Ha haha. It does. Thanks, Charles.
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Great job with this one, John! Happy Saturday!
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Thank you, Jill. Happy Saturday to you. *sung to the tune of Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd
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Excellent!
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She means it…she means it not. 🙂 Great one, John!
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Thank you, Jan. 🙂
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Welp, you know what they say. It’s all in the timing!
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Ha ha ha.
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So…how do your pups figure into the grass thing? I mean they touch it all the time and leave little brown piles for you to pick out of the grass. They must have an exemption of some sort, right?
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They own our home. We are the ones with exemptions. Thanks, Mary.
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Interesting. I thought it was only cuts who claimed ownership. 😊
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Nope. In numbers these guys get to set a strategy.
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Haha! You know, the “Touch not” sign is bound to be followed up by a “Pee not” sign.
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I liked the PooP Not one as well Thanks, Linda.
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I agree with Hook, John. Fun post. I hope it’s a satisfying Saturday. Great big hug!
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Thank you, Teagan. Big Hug to you.
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I’ve met people like this…lol
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😀
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She means it, means it not – she should be part of the Ways and Means Committee!!
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Ha ha ha.
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Trying to come up with something where “mean” is used for average. I got nothing, because none of your posts are average.
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Aw. What a nice thing to say. You could go with the calculated mean where there are 50% above and 50% below the mean.
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Haha! Lawn party first. Well done, John.
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Thank you, Jennie.
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You’re welcome, John.
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Reblogged this on Where Genres Collide.
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Thank you, Traci.
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You’re welcome, John!
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This is great, John, and I didn’t expect that ending. Thanks for the smiles!
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Thank you, Lauren. 😀
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This was fun (as you can see, I’m trying to play catch up with my favourite bloggers… it’s a losing battle, I fear…
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Ah well. We will love you no matter.
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😘
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🙂
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