Tuesday – Anything Possible – Creative Kue #199 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words now that he is back. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, on Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue # 199

The Square by John W. Howell © 2018

“Okay this is part 24B so why doesn’t it fit in slot 24?”

“You sure you read the instructions right?”

“I did. The next step is to fit part 24B into slot 24.”

“Why is the part so short then? Slot 24 is a foot bigger.”

“Yeah, that has me puzzled as well.”

“I have never seen such a confused mess in my whole life.”

“What do you mean ‘confused mess?'”

“Just look at this thing. Half the parts are not the right size, and it seems some are missing.”

“I checked all the parts before I began and they were all here.”

“Then why do you seem to have run out of material?”

“If I knew that I would have this conundrum solved. I called you for help not for stating the obvious.”

“Okay. I get it. Let me look at the plan.”

“It’s over there under the coffee cups.”

“Let me see. I just love these Ikea directions. I have a mechanical engineering degree and feel underqualified.”

“So what do you think?”

“For starters did you look at the picture?”

“No. Can’t say I did.”

“If you had you would realize this is supposed to be a square.”

“A square? I didn’t buy a square. I bought a rectangle. The foundation is for a rectangle.”

“You better look at your order then. You have a square. Did you get this at the Ikea store?”

“No, I ordered it online.”

“I think you better return it. You will never have enough material to finish a rectangle.”

“Look at my order. It clearly says the measurements are a rectangle.”

“All the better. It is their fault then. Wait what is this message in red?”

“Please check your order carefully before you begin assembly. No refunds or returns once assembly has begun.”

“Looks like you are screwed.”

“What if I order another square?”

“Humm let me see.  If I measure the sides and multiply by two. Yes, that will work.”

“I’m going to do it right now.”

“Just your luck you will get a rectangle.”

“That will work too.”

“Just think of the money you saved by ordering online.”

“Dark sarcasm in the classroom.”

“Yeah, sorry.”

 

 

55 comments

  1. Does Ikea really have that type of no refund policy?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No. Poetic license. 😀

      Like

      1. It’s very well done since it’s so believable.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks, Charles.

        Like

  2. Do I sense the voice of experience here, John?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Taken from real life. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can believe that!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. “Dark sarcasm in the classroom.” an excellent line.

    Like

    1. My inner Pink Floyd coming out. Thanks, Robbie.

      Like

  4. Gwen Plano · · Reply

    It’s just a wild guess, but I think I hear more than a few expletives in the background. Great job capturing the frustration, John. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hear them too. Thanks, Gwen

      Liked by 1 person

  5. LOL! Great job, John. I’m trying to figure out what the heck those guys are building.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I couldn’t tell either so I want with generic shapes. Thanks, Jill

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Part B, is this part B? No I think this is part B…. right?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “What’s that letter under your thumb?”

      Liked by 1 person

  7. hahah It really is rough when you have to build your own dog house before you are sent to it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Insult to injury. Thanks, Pamela.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Directions? We don’t need no stinking directions.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ha haha. Thanks, Dan.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I guess I shouldn’t ask what happened to part 24A, LOL.

    I I try to avoid buying anything that says “assembly required” but it’s not always possible. And then there’s the joy when you have most of the what’s-it together, then realize quality control didn’t include all the parts!
    Great one, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Mae. My deal is once it is done there are parts left over. Drives me nuts.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Lol! Yes, it always pays to look the order over carefully! 🙂 Thanks for the chuckle, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jan

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Might want to order a few more. I don’t think My Grrl will fit in that garage.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. Pretty true. Need at least 65 feet.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Here is my take on IKEA.

    OMG, you screwed up the order.
    How so?
    You ordered an Omphlekettle instead of an Ömphlekettle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha haha. The inprotance of an umlaut.

      Like

      1. John, it is important to remind our readers that people have been seriously injured while attempting to pronounce IKEA product names – with or without the umlat.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The fifth cause of death among twenty-somethings.

        Like

  13. John,

    I totally relate to this Ikea moment. I resemble it even!

    And I love how you tucked the classic Pink Floyd line in there . . sweet!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Just had to give a bow to Pink Floyd. Thanks, Marc

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Regardless of the manufacturer, one should never build oneself into a box!! Great job, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good advice, Debbie. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  15. D.L Finn, Author · · Reply

    This is why I never put things together! Good one:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. Thank you, Denise.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad you liked it. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Lol, this sounds like DH and I when we try to work together 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha haha. Slice of life. Thanks, Jacquie

      Liked by 1 person

  17. If I had been one of those guys, I’d have been very confused by all those measurements, John. Reminds me of the days of flatpack furniture. Now I just call ‘Flatpack Dan’ and he comes around and assembles everything for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good to have a “Flatpack Dan.” We don’t have one.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the reblog, Traci.

      Like

  18. […] via Tuesday – Anything Possible – Creative Kue #199 by Keith Channing […]

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Traci

      Like

  19. […] The Square by John W. Howell © 2018 […]

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Love the last line, dark sarcasm in the classroom.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nod to Pink Floyd for sure.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Definitely!

        Liked by 1 person

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