Top Ten Things Not to at the Sale of the First Mass Produced Ford in 1905

~ John W. Howell

Top Ten Things not to do

 

This week marked the anniversary of the sale of the first massed produced Ford automobile. It was labeled the Model A Fordmobile (Not to be confused with the model A introduced in 1928) and cost $850.00. (Which is worth $23,404 in 2018 dollars)

If you were there, several precautions would be needed in order not to disrupt the time continuum. If you want to go, Take this list and spare us all from any disruption.

10 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not ask the salesperson if floor mats are included in the price. If you do, at best they will not know what you are talking about. At worst, the salesperson will tell you, yes and you won’t see the $100.00 charge on the invoice. (You only have yourself to blame, Ilima. They would have never thought of it until you mentioned floor mats.)

9 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not go on a demonstration ride with Tiny the WWF champ. If you do at best, he’ll let you drive. At worst, Tiny who could not pass the driver’s test insists on showing you how fast the Fordmoble can go downhill and in a curve. (Hanging on for dear life is not a sign of cowardice, Illan. It is considered normal behavior under the circumstances. Don’t worry, those knuckles will eventually turn pink again.)

8 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not wait while the salesperson goes and talks to the manager about a better price. If you do, at best the price will be the same. At worst, there will have been a mistake found, and your car is $100.00 more now. (You might eventually get the idea that the price is the price, Imani.)

7 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not take the free cup of coffee. If you do, at best they have run out. At worst at the end of the day, you may discover that cup of coffee was very expensive. (Made you feel beholden to the salesperson, huh Inay? Did you get the story about no shoes for the kids?)

6 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not buy an extended warranty. If you do, at best the company will actually honor it. At worst, the small type at the bottom explains your premium for the warranty is actually a gift to Mr. Ford’s favorite charity. (Fooled you huh, Ingram? Now you have to worry about pushing this thing back home.)

5 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not ask about gas mileage. If you do, at best, no one will know. At worst, the number will scare you so much you’ll want to leave the showroom. (You should remember that gas costs under a dime a gallon, Inteus. That is about a penny a mile, and even a skinflint like you can do that.)

4 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not ask about the President’s Day pricing. If you do, at best you’ll get strange looks. At worst, the owner of the agency will take your idea and become a kingpin in the car marketing business. (He’ll add at least 52 other days for an excuse for a sale, Iona. He’ll make millions and you’ll go back home.)

3 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not ask about the down payment. If you do, at best, no one will take you seriously. At worst, the manager will escort you to the door since buying on credit is an unknown phenomenon (Don’t get your feelings hurt, Iov. “Four flushers” is a term they casually throw around these parts.)

2 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not ask what color you can choose. If you do, at best, you’ll get a sympathetic smile. At worse, you get the Henry Ford quote, “You can have any color you chose as long as you choose black.” (You knew that was coming. Why you gave the salesperson the satisfaction of saying it is anybody’s guess, Irus.)

1 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not ask to buy the floor model. If you do, at best you’ll be told you need to order a car. At worst the salesperson will be confused about what you mean by floor model and call the police. ( He thought you were talking about the demonstration person, Iseabail. Good thing you cleared that up.)

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Published by John W. Howell

I have been working in business for over forty years and now have the time to work in special areas of interest. My passion has always been to create compelling stories of fiction. I have authored six novels and am working on my Seventh. The first novel is still in manuscript form and being utilized as a door stop in the laundry room. The second is a contemporary fiction novel of 89,000 words and is complete and I am currently seeking a publisher. I also write poetry but have not had the guts to share any with anyone. The one time I read a piece to a person their only comment was, “it doesn’t rhyme.” I will continue to write and hopefully my blog, Fiction Favorites at www.johnwhowell.com will provide some entertainment and an interesting thought or two. I live in the Austin area with my wife Molly and an assortment of loving pets.

55 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Not to at the Sale of the First Mass Produced Ford in 1905”

  1. Loved this, John. A friend of the family is restoring a Model T Ford and as soon as he’s installed a new roof, I have been promised a ride out. We feel we need the roof given England’s inclination to rain! Hugs for you all x

    Liked by 2 people

  5. What do you think would happen if I asked for a ten-speed transmission with 640 horsepower? Does that put me in the “Rubber Ramada Inn” for a while?

    Liked by 2 people

  7. For a variety of reasons I’ve never had to endure the rituals of car buying, but I’ve heard every one of your ten described by someone. In fact, a large dealership in the area now is using “You don’t have to go through the process at our dealership!” as a primary selling point. How they’re avoiding it I’m not sure, but I’ll bet their answer would do well as a number eleven on your list.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Another good’un, John! Like one of the other commenters, I have been spared the car buying experience. I’m pretty sure I would fall into the “at worst” categories!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ha ha ha. One time I walked into a dealership and demanded they sell me the car at full price but if anything went wrong they would have to take it back. They couldn’t do it. I think​ it was the cheapest car I ever bought.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I don’t know Boss, I would be lost without my cup holder and sunroof. Methinks I would stick to riding one of those high wheeled bicycles. Hell, if I could ride them now I would!

    So there was no haggling back then eh? Or floor mats? Archaic . . .

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Car buying has long been a frustrating process, despite new-fangled methods intended to make it more palatable. It’s their game, after all — they’re just letting us play!

    Liked by 2 people

  23. $850 in 1905 dollars! Jasus … that’s some heavy-duty scratch. I was always sweet on the 1928 Ford Model A roadster. Best two-seater Ford ever made. At least I think so. I’ve never seen one in person.

    “How much extra for a roof?” Good one, John.

    Liked by 2 people

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