Top Ten Things Not to at the Sale of the First Mass Produced Ford in 1905

Top Ten Things not to do

 

This week marked the anniversary of the sale of the first massed produced Ford automobile. It was labeled the Model A Fordmobile (Not to be confused with the model A introduced in 1928) and cost $850.00. (Which is worth $23,404 in 2018 dollars)

If you were there, several precautions would be needed in order not to disrupt the time continuum. If you want to go, Take this list and spare us all from any disruption.

10 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not ask the salesperson if floor mats are included in the price. If you do, at best they will not know what you are talking about. At worst, the salesperson will tell you, yes and you won’t see the $100.00 charge on the invoice. (You only have yourself to blame, Ilima. They would have never thought of it until you mentioned floor mats.)

9 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not go on a demonstration ride with Tiny the WWF champ. If you do at best, he’ll let you drive. At worst, Tiny who could not pass the driver’s test insists on showing you how fast the Fordmoble can go downhill and in a curve. (Hanging on for dear life is not a sign of cowardice, Illan. It is considered normal behavior under the circumstances. Don’t worry, those knuckles will eventually turn pink again.)

8 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not wait while the salesperson goes and talks to the manager about a better price. If you do, at best the price will be the same. At worst, there will have been a mistake found, and your car is $100.00 more now. (You might eventually get the idea that the price is the price, Imani.)

7 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not take the free cup of coffee. If you do, at best they have run out. At worst at the end of the day, you may discover that cup of coffee was very expensive. (Made you feel beholden to the salesperson, huh Inay? Did you get the story about no shoes for the kids?)

6 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not buy an extended warranty. If you do, at best the company will actually honor it. At worst, the small type at the bottom explains your premium for the warranty is actually a gift to Mr. Ford’s favorite charity. (Fooled you huh, Ingram? Now you have to worry about pushing this thing back home.)

5 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not ask about gas mileage. If you do, at best, no one will know. At worst, the number will scare you so much you’ll want to leave the showroom. (You should remember that gas costs under a dime a gallon, Inteus. That is about a penny a mile, and even a skinflint like you can do that.)

4 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not ask about the President’s Day pricing. If you do, at best you’ll get strange looks. At worst, the owner of the agency will take your idea and become a kingpin in the car marketing business. (He’ll add at least 52 other days for an excuse for a sale, Iona. He’ll make millions and you’ll go back home.)

3 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not ask about the down payment. If you do, at best, no one will take you seriously. At worst, the manager will escort you to the door since buying on credit is an unknown phenomenon (Don’t get your feelings hurt, Iov. “Four flushers” is a term they casually throw around these parts.)

2 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not ask what color you can choose. If you do, at best, you’ll get a sympathetic smile. At worse, you get the Henry Ford quote, “You can have any color you chose as long as you choose black.” (You knew that was coming. Why you gave the salesperson the satisfaction of saying it is anybody’s guess, Irus.)

1 If you are at the first Ford sale, do not ask to buy the floor model. If you do, at best you’ll be told you need to order a car. At worst the salesperson will be confused about what you mean by floor model and call the police. ( He thought you were talking about the demonstration person, Iseabail. Good thing you cleared that up.)

55 comments

  1. Loved this, John. A friend of the family is restoring a Model T Ford and as soon as he’s installed a new roof, I have been promised a ride out. We feel we need the roof given England’s inclination to rain! Hugs for you all x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jane. A ride in a T would be special. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is excellent, John. It gave me a good chuckle when you compare it to modern car shopping.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think all car shopping is the same. Thanks, Robbie.

      Like

  3. Always wondered why car sales are a big thing on Presidents Day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wonder too.

      Like

  4. Hilarious, John! “Even a skinflint like you can do that.” LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jill. 😀

      Like

  5. What do you think would happen if I asked for a ten-speed transmission with 640 horsepower? Does that put me in the “Rubber Ramada Inn” for a while?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You might be in orbit with that kind of power. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  6. How much extra for a roof rack? Oh, yeah…

    Good one, John

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. How much extra for a roof? Thanks, Dan

      Liked by 1 person

  7. For a variety of reasons I’ve never had to endure the rituals of car buying, but I’ve heard every one of your ten described by someone. In fact, a large dealership in the area now is using “You don’t have to go through the process at our dealership!” as a primary selling point. How they’re avoiding it I’m not sure, but I’ll bet their answer would do well as a number eleven on your list.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We have a no haggle dealer. If you are willing to wait they reduce prices every 30 days. It seems to work well.

      Like

  8. Will you come with me when I need another car? I think your sales resistance must be incredible.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sure. It would be fun. 😊

      Like

  9. I’m going to take it with me…& studying;) bcz I’m planning to get back there 😂😂 …soon

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Look out Volvo dealer here comes Victoria Ray. 🛵

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 😂😂🕺 hilarious 🤘

        Liked by 1 person

  10. What’s my trade in worth? Only one horsepower, but she has four relatively good shoes. Don’t kick her tires, she kicks back.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. Good one, Craig. If you give us $5.00 we’ll take her off your hands.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Another good’un, John! Like one of the other commenters, I have been spared the car buying experience. I’m pretty sure I would fall into the “at worst” categories!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. One time I walked into a dealership and demanded they sell me the car at full price but if anything went wrong they would have to take it back. They couldn’t do it. I think​ it was the cheapest car I ever bought.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I don’t know Boss, I would be lost without my cup holder and sunroof. Methinks I would stick to riding one of those high wheeled bicycles. Hell, if I could ride them now I would!

    So there was no haggling back then eh? Or floor mats? Archaic . . .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. No haggling. At the price, not many could afford​ them either.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. So basically it was the floor mats or the car, but not both.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Hahaha, that was fun!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad you liked it. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Car buying has long been a frustrating process, despite new-fangled methods intended to make it more palatable. It’s their game, after all — they’re just letting us play!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So true. I like how you put that. 😁

      Like

  15. D.L. Finn, Author · · Reply

    I love those old cars especially these orginals. Although never been a fan of buying a car from a dealer.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You have to have a strong heart to buy from a dealer. Thanks, Denise.

      Like

  16. Stunning, dear John! And what a seducing price! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Maria.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. No haggling? I thought everything was negotiated… Dang…
    Just as well, I suck at it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yup. Pay your $850.00 and be done.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sheesh!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I know right. I can get you a cup of coffee though.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Too kind

        Liked by 1 person

  18. Lucky for me, I prefer a black car.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good one, Teri

      Liked by 1 person

  19. You can’t beat a Ford! (well, not easily anyway 🙂 )
    They have the best heaters- something us Canadians value, lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Born in Detroit requires a heater. Thanks, Jacquie.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Lol! I been the passenger when a driver like Tiny was driving; yup white knuckles was the color of the drive.

    That’s a neat advertisement and slogan.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Deborah.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. I loved this, John. President’s Day sale – that was really funny!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Jennie

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, John.

        Like

  22. I’d show up on a Vespa; that’d be sure to turn some heads and alter history forever.

    Like

  23. $850 in 1905 dollars! Jasus … that’s some heavy-duty scratch. I was always sweet on the 1928 Ford Model A roadster. Best two-seater Ford ever made. At least I think so. I’ve never seen one in person.

    “How much extra for a roof?” Good one, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was serious money in those days. Equivalent to $24,254 today. My sister’s boyfriend in high school (1952) had a modal A roaster. A very sweet car indeed.

      Like

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