Tuesday – Anything possible – Kreative Kue #232 with Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

The Store by John W. Howell © 2019

“Excuse me. Do you work here?”

“This orange apron with my name written with a Sharpie by a two-year-old says I do.”

“Oh, good. I really could use some help.”

“Well, sir, as our motto says, “No item too obscure for us not to carry it.”

“Huh?”

“Just retail humor, sir. I’d be glad to help you out. Now, which way did you come in?”

“More retail humor, I’ll bet.”

“Yes, sir. Seriously now. What can I do to help.”

“See this screw.”

“Yes, sir, I do. Rather small little thing, but I do see it.”

“I need another one just like it.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard, sir. Follow me.”

“Oh, thank you. I have been wandering around for hours, it seems.”

“Goodness, do you need some water?”

“I could use some, I suppose.”

“Here, take this canteen.”

“Canteen?”

“Yup. We are required to carry a canteen in cases like this.”

“Is this sanitary?”

“Don’t worry, sir. I have never been accused of backwash yet.”

“Thanks, I’ll wait until I leave.”

“It is ten miles to the exit, sir. I think you will thank me for the water later.”

“Fine. There now I feel better.”

“Ah, here we are at screw acres.”

“Screw acres?”

“Yeah, that’s the name of the section. Don’t tell me you are one of those weirdos who makes a sexual innuendo out of everything.”

“Where are my screw sizes.”

“Sir, I’m going to ask you to stop. You are making me uncomfortable.”

“I just want to get my screw and get out of here.”

“Understood, sir. You. will have to wait to get home for that. Anyway, here is the section for tiny screws.”

“Here is my size. Wait, does this come in a quantity less than 10,000.”

“I’m afraid that is our smallest, sir.”

“Who buys that many screws?”

“You’d be surprised, sir. Now is there anything else I can help you with?”

“I guess you could give me directions to the exit.”

“Don’t you have a map app on your phone?”

“Yes, I do.”

“It would be a lot easier for you to do that. Once you have the directions, I think you can hitchhike your way there.”

“Hitchhike?”

“Yeah, all the carts with loads usually stop for pedestrians. Good luck to you, sir.”

“Wait.”

“Yes, sir?”

“I still don’t have my screw.”

“I would try our on-line store, sir.”

“Online store?”

“Yes, sir. https://saveatriptohell.com.”

“Thanks.”

“Always happy to help. Bye, sir.”

“I wonder if I will wake up now?”

 

54 thoughts on “Tuesday – Anything possible – Kreative Kue #232 with Keith Channing”

  4. WOW, I’ve never had a dream like that but I feel the angst, which you’ve cleverly created! Great job with the photo prompt!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I love Home Depot and Lowes and Menards. I could spend hours at each. But, a warehouse, like the one you describe, sounds terrifying. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Nicely done, John. I have an old boss who wouldn’t shop in Ikea because he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to find the exit in an emergency. Good luck trying to get rid of the other 9,999 screws.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Your story is almost perfect. Except for the omission of the satisfaction survey. I am going to grab my shovel and run for the garden. Is screw acres adjacent to Cheshire Cat country ?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Buahahahaha!

    This is exactly how I feel every time I go in one of these stores. I never walked the length of Rhode Island, but I’m pretty sure it’s the same difference.

    Like

  10. Great, John. Thanks.
    Remember that outfit that started life in 1994 selling books? Twenty-five years later, this is a small part of the inside of one of their three fulfilment centres in our town (yes, we took up their offer of a free tour – something of an eye-opener).

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I can so relate to this one. It seems like every chain store has to be gargantuan-sized now. I think you ticked a box for all of us, John–and made it fun at the same time. Loved the humor!!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Well done, John! Those warehouse-sized stores can be intimidating. You’ve capture its immensity and reminded me why sometimes it’s better to shop local (as in the Ace Hardware store)!

    Liked by 1 person

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