Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Text Message Sent in 1992

Top Ten Things Not to Do

 

This week on December 3rd marks the 28th anniversary of the first text message sent in 1992. A test engineer for Sema Group sent the world’s first text message, using a personal computer and the Vodafone network. Engineer Neil Papworth sent the first SMS on December 3rd, 1992, when he wrote “Merry Christmas” on a computer and sent it to the cellphone of Vodafone director Richard Jarvis. Since this event has changed the way we communicate, it might be helpful to time travel and visit the scene. I have developed a list so that we don’t make any mistakes that could put a tear in the time continuum.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Text Message Sent in 1992

10 If you are there, do not suggest to the engineer that a smiley face at the end of his message might be well received. If you do, at best, he will thank you but send the message without it. At worst, he will stop the message and try to figure out how to make a smiley face on the keyboard. (Well done, Jussi. You slowed the progress of the SMS world. Although the smiley face has been around since 1963, it took the engineer two weeks to figure out: :-). He also had a nervous breakdown.)

9 If you are there, do not ask Tiny the WWF champ and head of security to check his cell phone for messages. If you do, at best, Tiny will not understand you. At worst, Tiny, who missed his personal development support group meeting, will feel left out since he has no messages. (The problem is, Justice, when Tiny feels left out, he wants to hug someone tightly. It looks like you are the one. Yes, that might be the sound of bones breaking that you are hearing.)

8 If you are there, do not suggest to the engineer a number of shortcuts to messaging communication. If you do, at best, he will be too busy to pay attention to you. At worst, your netspeak suggestions will give him a migraine. (It appears the engineer had to go home, Justyn. Your LMAO, ROTFL, OMG, and BFF sent him over the edge. He can’t imagine that his idea will end up in such a way.)

7 If you are there, do not suggest to the engineer that he might be better understood if he uses all caps in his message. If you do, at best, the engineer knows better. At worst, he will send a message that looks like he is yelling. (A funny thing about yelling at a director, Jacob is they usually don’t like it. It looks like the engineer wants to talk with you. If you ask me he has a bizarre look in his eye.)

6 If you are there, do not try to explain hashtags. If you do, at best, the engineer will fall asleep. At worst, the engineer will keep asking, “Why.” (You will never get to the bottom of the “Whys,” Joseph. And really #whynot will not work.)

5 If you are there, do not try to convince the engineer that life would be easier if he did group texts. If you do, at best, the engineer will wait before he sends his first group text. At worst, the engineer will send out a group text to the wrong group. (Well, Justin. It looks like you need to help the engineer explain to the group of senior citizens what he meant by “Let’s get naked, which was intended for his nudist friends.)

4 If you are there, do not suggest to the engineer that he should invent something that will autocorrect misspellings in texts. If you do, at best, he’ll do a better job. At worst, the engineer writes a special program that has the effect of turning all four-letter words into NSFW messages. (Wow, Josiah. You are solely responsible for the engineer having to go into a witness protection program.)

3 If you are there, do not show the engineer how easy it might be to take a picture of your dinner and send it to all his friends. Β If you do, at best, the engineer will think it foolish. At worst, the engineer will like the concept and begin texting pictures of his math calculations. (The engineer’s boss finally laid down the law, Jeremiah. The engineer has been banned from texting period. You must be proud.)

2 If you are there, do not warn the engineer that sometimes people will send the wrong text to the wrong person. If you do, at best, the engineer is a pragmatist and will accept the idea as natural. At worst, the engineer is a Type A obsessive-compulsive and will want to build a program to prevent such a mistake. (Congratulations, Julian. You are solely responsible for a ten-step verification protocol ensuring that the sender has indeed checked to see the message is going to the intended receiver. Also, you have personally killed the text message vehicle of communication.)

1 If you are there, do not ask to use the engineer’s computer to ask his assistant for a date. If you do, at best, he’ll not let you. At worst, he will allow you to use the computer and the assistant turned you into the police as a stalker. (You see, Jared. Such important messages should be done in person and not from behind a computer screen. Don’t worry many have made the same mistake. They were not the first, however.)

67 comments

  1. If you are there – stop him!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahaha. Good one, Keith.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Didn’t realize the tech was from the 90’s. Who would have expected texting to replace calling though?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know right? Who calls anymore?

      Like

      1. Politicians, robots, and psychopaths.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I do! But sparingly, since most of my friends think phones are for taking pictures of food or sending acronym and emoji messages that I can’t decipher without heading to the “dictionary” of text terms!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I feel your pain. 😊

        Like

  3. Ugh…I can’t stand group text messages. This was great, John! Loved the meme, too!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m with you on the group texts. Half the time I have no idea who the people are since they are not in my contact list. Thanks, Jill.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know! My unit at work does this all of the time…I don’t know who’s saying what!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. ANNOYING for sure.

        Like

  4. haha, these are all lost on me, John! I have yet to send my first Text and when I read text messages on blogs, I find that hashtag annoying. So there’s no way I can comment on today’s list!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hmmm. This has all the trappings of a comment. Thanks, GP.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. As with so many notions hatched from the brains of engineers, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think it was a good idea but like most good things, a little overdone. Thanks, Liz.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Having worked with engineers for a long time, John, I think banning them from texting might not be a bad idea. Great job! Give Tiny a hug for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tiny gives you a hug back. Just count to three and he’ll release. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  7. But I miss talking to people. It’s even changed many of the service industries.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would say not a change for the better.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. It’s funny, trying to imagine back to a time when these things would have felt like science fiction. It was a simpler time, LOL

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would say so, Marc. Thanks.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Love it Boss

        Liked by 1 person

  9. “Hey, Mom, come see what this weird man in Texas DID! Ten Times he did it! πŸ™‚

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    1. Hahahaha. Thanks, Billy Ray.

      Like

  10. Had no idea the first was sent in 1992. Great list, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Frank.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Ha! Terrific list, John. Sometimes I wish texting had never been invented (although it can be convenient) — especially when I watch the news. Happy December hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Teagan. Happy December to you.

      Like

  12. D.L. Finn, Author · · Reply

    I can’t believe it was 27 years ago! I’m not sure whether I should be grateful for texting or not.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I guess it has been an improvement in staying in touch superficially.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. D.L. Finn, Author · ·

        True, but to always have to be in constant contact…I leave my phone home sometimes. My kids hate that…lol

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’ll bet they do. πŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Wow, just since 1992, huh? That amazes me. Seems like we’ve been texting for lots longer than that. Of course, maybe it just *seems* that way!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It does *seem* longer. Thanks, Debbie.

      Like

  14. Splendid, dear John! What a wonderful time it was! Black & white pictures, eternal Nokia 3310 I still adore. πŸ™‚ There was something particular in the cellular era: more individualism, more self-expression, more curious well made phones. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love your romantic notion of the old days. I remember less reliability, more dropped calls, and horrific phone bills.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ha-ha-ha! Indeed, dear John! Any new technology demands human & finance sacrifices πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes it does. Thanks, Maria.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Bring us back to before when we spoke to each other de vive voix!
    Then again, texting can be so much fun πŸ˜‰
    Thanks for the heads up!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sometimes it is fun and other times not so much.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. True. Very much true.

        Liked by 1 person

  16. I had no idea that the 1st text was sent in 1992. Great list, John, especially #4! I once told my kids (aged 10 and 12) that I was older than Google. They were mortified and shocked! I think it solidifed their idea that I’m older than dirt. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I told my kids I’m older than the remote, cassette recordings, and the walk on the moon. At the time, they just stared at me. πŸ˜€

      Liked by 2 people

  17. Reblogged this on Author Don Massenzio and commented:
    Check out this great list from this post on John Howell’s blog with the TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO DO AT THE FIRST TEXT MESSAGE SENT IN 1992

    Like

    1. Thank you, Don.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome.

        Liked by 1 person

  18. Really funny, John. Wish I’d been a witness. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well maybe at the next big thing. Thanks, Jennie.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m hoping! πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

  19. No texting for me, except in rare circumstances, since I’m still running around with a Samsung flip phone — three or four alphabetic characters per key. (But I do love my ipad. No need to hook up a computer immediately after a move.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iPads are great, Linda. I hate texts.

      Like

  20. In 1992 I didn’t know that smartphone exists πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not real smart but you could send an SMS message that was short.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I even had no landline πŸ“ž lol πŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

      2. My landline was taken out with hurricane Harvey. Now I don’t have one.

        Like

      3. πŸŒͺπŸŒͺπŸŒͺ eh it’s good to have a smartphone πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Very smart actually πŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

  21. I did not know that Tiny the WWF champ was so touchy feely. Imagine that big brute reaching out to hug people. You just never know.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He is very insecure so you will see him in various states of conflict when confronted with a situation. He is most vulnerable if he has skipped one of his group therapy sessions. Thanks for the visit.

      Like

  22. It would be a total calamity if we didn’t have texting, John. We would have to listen to our kids speaking to each other!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahahahaha. Good one Robbie.

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Not that long ago, and yet a world’s difference to how we communicate- not necessarily for the better! Fun list John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Pamela.

      Liked by 1 person

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