Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Get a Honey-Do List

 

This post originally ran on June 22, 2016. honey-do lists never go out of style.

The inspiration for this list has been several years of being the recipient of lists of things that needed fixing. I hope you enjoy it.

Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Get a Honey Do List

10 If you receive a honey do list, do not laugh at the items. If you do, at best, you’ll get one of those looks that turn brave thoughts to flee instincts. At worst, you’ll have to try to defend the undefendable fact that you haven’t kept up with normal maintenance. (The couch is pretty lumpy, wouldn’t you say?)

9 If you receive a honey do list, do not take shortcuts to complete the list. If you do, At best, the inspection will produce some embarrassing deficiencies. At worst, you find yourself in the do-over mode, and it will take longer than the original model would have taken. (Was that game you rushed to see worth it, Buster?)

8 If you receive a honey do list, do not try to substitute available materials for those that require a store trip. If you do, at best, the fix will last a month or two. At worst, you’ll find after the job definite evidence that you blew it. (How do you feel about a bedroom full of water? Bunky)

7 If you receive a honey do list, do not try to do it if you don’t know how. If you do, at best, you will need to call a pro to complete the work. At worst, you will need to call a pro to fix what you messed up and then finish the work. (Feel good about paying twice what the project would have cost in the first place?)

6 If you receive a honey do list, do not call your friends to help. If you do, at best, they will all but prevent the job from being completed. At worst, none of them will have the skills needed but will attempt to help with questionable results. (You did incur beer and food costs in addition to the repair of the repair costs, huh, Bud?)

5 If you receive a honey do list, do not ignore the instructions as to the desired outcome. If you do, at best, the job will never be satisfactory. At worst, your usual roundabout way of doing things will add time and cost to the project. (Maybe it wasn’t necessary to dig that hole and build a foundation for the flower box after all, right?)

4 If you receive a honey do list, do not fail to finish each item. If you do, at best, you will appear to be someone who needs planning help. At worst, you will be faced with someone who has been hired to complete what you start. (Man, those labor costs are killers, aren’t they?)

3 If you receive a honey do list, do not make excuses for not doing the items. If you do, at best, your excuses will fall on deaf ears. At worse, the excuses will be used as justification for engaging Expensive & How contracting. (What’s in a name? Whoa!)

2 If you receive a honey do list, do not put off getting to work on it immediately. If you do, at best, the list will only get longer. At worst, there will be a growing feeling that you will never get the list done, culminating in an introduction to Beaucoup Bucks & Sons. (Man, those sons sure have dirty shoes, don’t they?)

1 If you receive a honey do list, do not fail to report the results of projects completed. If you do, at best, there will be no record of accomplishment. At worst, you will not have confirmation that the job is complete, and it may just show up again. (You have to demonstrate you can get things done, Buford.)

88 comments

    1. Thank you for sharing today, Michael.

      Like

  1. Great list, John! Love the meme, too.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I thought the meme was pretty typical. 😁

      Like

  2. I love the names of the contractors! 😀

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, Liz. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, John.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Great meme and post, John! I need to send this list to my hubby😂🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Good idea, Hamony. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  4. “Brave thoughts to flee instincts.” Love it!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Joan. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I think we have those same contractors out here.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. They are nationwide.😁

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I’ve made some of these mistakes, John. I am getting better, though. A few more years and I’ll be off page one.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahaha. I’ll never make that distinction, Dan. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I thought I might hold off on commenting, as I really was trying to find an excuse – but you covered that in # 3!! Thanks a lot, John! 🙄😏

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This situation is a “no excuse” zone. GP. 😳

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Then my goose is cooked.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. With a cranberry side dish.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Of course!!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Not sure about #8. If it gives you some breathing room to get supplies then it could work. Depends on the pitch.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. Everytime I try to use something I already have it doesn’t work. It is like a conspiracy or something.

      Like

  9. Yup, hubby loves going to the store and buying all kinds of supplies and tools, which sit in a corner for years!! But he is ready. Of course, the paint is too old by the time he goes to use it, so another trip is required. It is a vicious circle.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. A man after my own heart. Thanks, Darlene. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Expensive and How Contracting . . . those guys suck!

    As for enlisting your pals to help? Good advice Boss. All they’re usually good for is picking up the beer and grub YOU’RE paying for.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. So true. “Hey , John. What’s this tool used for?” “That’s a screwdriver, Bob.”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. And here I thought a screwdriver was vodka and orange juice . . .

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Well, that’s the best kind, anyway.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Whilst I was living in Tanzania, a young man who worked for me proudly brought in and showed me the brand-new bicycle for which he had been on a waiting list for a couple of years. He immediately said he’d be taking it to the bicycle fundi (repair man) the following morning – there were loose spokes, everything was out of adjustment, and it needed a couple of hours’ work to bring it up to scratch. I told him not to do that; I had the necessary tools and the time, and I would happily do it for him to save him the expense. “But, Sir,” he said, “if you fix it, how will the bicycle fundi feed his children?”

    We now live in an area where many people are struggling and there are a lot of self-employed trying to make ends meet. That’s why we pay window-cleaners, plumbers, electricians, garden designers and others to do things that we could probably do ourselves. The bicycle fundi must be able to feed his children.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I would say he was a wise young man. We do the same.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. As a one-time writer of the Honey Do list… this is bang on. 😉
    Beaucoup Bucks & Sons are muy expensive.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. They are muy expensive and not very good either. Thanks, Dale.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s always the case, isn’t it? Sigh.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. I never actually write down my honey-do list. I prefer to nag!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. There you go. Sounds like a good system,. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  14. My dad used to say the only way to be certain of never getting asked to do a job was to do such a lousy job at it that the other person felt the need to redo it to her own specifications. I think he was onto something!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think so too. Thanks, Debbie. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  15. D.L. Finn, Author · · Reply

    This list is all too familar and brought a smile to my Monday:)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m glad, Denise.

      Like

  16. Love the names of the fictional companies, John:)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Becky. My favorite is the law firm of Bacon , Lattace, and Tomita.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I especially liked Expensive & How contracting.

        Liked by 1 person

  17. A great list, John! And I love the cartoon! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Jan. I liked it too. 😁

      Like

  18. Timeless set, dear John! Just do it, Man! Anytime, anywhere! 😂😁😁

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Maria. 🤣

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 😁😁😁

        Liked by 1 person

  19. I love it, but I would like to add one:

    If you receive a honey do list, do not respond as my late ex-husband did by saying, “I work 5 nights a week to support this family … can’t you learn to do anything for yourself???” (This was when the water pipes beneath the house had frozen and we had no water. I did fix it myself, though … I called a plumber!)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahaha. I now know why he became an ex.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. One of the many reasons!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m sure. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  20. Beaucoup Bucks & Sons- hilarious! Thanks for the laughs, John.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You are welcome. Thanks for letting me know you enjoyed it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure!

        Liked by 1 person

  21. I have a handyman on speed dial. Hubby is nowhere near handy around the house, lol.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think that is the best way. I actually called a plumber for the first time in my life. There was a leak in the kitchen faucet cut off and I couldn’t get the nut loose. $150.00 and five minutes later. . . done.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. petespringerauthor · · Reply

    #7 really resonates with me. When we first married and had no money, I tried to do everything myself. I often got to the end of the line and eventually figured something out even though the job took twice as long as it should have. Now that my eyes are so bad and I have less patience, I call the professionals. Paying to get something done right is worth the tradeoff for me as I don’t get aggravated that way.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think you are right. I still do stuff myself and carry the aggravation as a badge of honor. Thanks, Pete.

      Liked by 1 person

  23. This reminded me of something my pal Camille said many years ago…the reason a woman really needs a man is to go get ice cream in the middle of the night, to make sure the AC works and to hook up the VCR. I forgot these pearls of Camille wisdom till I read this.

    I’m always impressed at how in depth these are…the trouble you take. It comforts when I feel like a schmuck penning one of my Did You Know pieces. I guess we’re just that way John…in depth across that Honey-Do list, even if you’re your own Honey. Always enjoy these. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think Camille had it right. I would add to go get coffee and croissants in the rain. I’m glad you enjoy these. As soon as I get this next book done I’ll go back to the historical posts. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve never read these so, they’re all new to me.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Yup. But I still like the historical ones.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Fun to write, I know.

        Liked by 1 person

  24. PS VCR…you see how many years it truly was.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Reblogged this on Author Don Massenzio and commented:
    Check out another great list from John Howell via his Fiction Favorites blog titled: THE TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO DO IF YOU GET A HONEY-DO LIST

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for sharing, Don. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome.

        Liked by 1 person

  26. I like the meme! He-Man’s line is ” I’ll get to it”. When he gets to it is anybody’s guess! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha. The question is does he ever get to it?

      Liked by 1 person

  27. Gwen M. Plano · · Reply

    So funny, John. I’ve never created a honey-do list, but I’ve asked for help with different projects. My sister used to complain non-stop about her husband not doing this or that, until I finally said, why don’t you do it yourself? 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good advice.

      Like

  28. There’s nothing sweet about the ‘honey-do’ list. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so right. Many oppotunities to fail.

      Liked by 1 person

  29. I have a feeling this list is made from years of experience. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Years of it, Pamela. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 🙂 🙂 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  30. If I were ever given a honey do list, I’d happily do one item a week (or maybe a month). No use rushing things. But fortunately, I’m perfect and there is never any things that need doing where I live.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can imagine. 🙄

      Like

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