The Top Ten Things Not to Do While Working Outdoors

~ John W. Howell

a home improvement

 

This post originally ran on September 15th, 2014. Seems like it is still good advice today. I hope you enjoy it.

***

 

It’s that time of the year again when certain outdoor chores have to be done in preparation for the coming change of seasons. The weather is finally turning a little cooler, so the projects put off because of the heat can now be done. This list has been inspired by the times I have not paid attention to the Top Ten Things Not to do While Doing Outdoor Work.

The Top Ten Things Not to Do While Working Outdoors

10 If you need to fix or waterproof your outdoor deck, do not start the work after noon. If you do, at best you will have to work past dinner. At worst, you will quit the project only to find yourself doing the work in the snow.

9 If you need to go up on a ladder for anything, do not ask your spouse to spot you at the bottom of the ladder. At best, you may drop a tool that will be regrettable. At worst, your spouse may find themselves breaking your fall, which will be unforgivable.

8 If you need to use a power tool, do not forget the safety glasses. If you do, at best, you may get some debris in your eye. At worst, you might just get an exciting ride to the emergency room for significant eye repair.

7 If you need to use a chainsaw, do not try to saw off anything over your head. If you do, at best, you may not be able to avoid a falling limb. At worst, you may find yourself trying to avoid a swinging chainsaw running at full speed.

6 If you need to paint anything, do not think a spray gun is a way to go if you have no experience. If you do, at best, you may find the job harder than you expected. At worst, you may have covered the trees, shrubs, and your car with the beautiful coral shade you are using.

5 If you decide to rent any kind of machinery to do your work, do not fail to read the directions. If you do forget or decide to ignore them, at best, you may cause the machine to break down. At worst, you may find yourself and your machine in the living room when you actually intended to work on the driveway.

4 If you need to use any kind of grease on your project, do not fail to take off your shoes before entering the house. If you do forget, at best, you might only have one small piece on your shoe. At worst, you will have walked all the way through the snow-white living room before you notice your tracks and hear the sound of a gun being cocked.

3 If you intend to fix any plumbing, do not forget to turn off the water. If you do forget, at best, you will get a face full and be drenched before you go and turn it off. At worst, you will wish you had built an ark before beginning the work and are now watching your belongings wash down the street.

2 If your project includes electrical work, do not forget to turn off the electricity to the item you are working on. If you do forget, at best, you will cause some sparks and then go turn it off. At worst, you will cause an arc of electricity that will melt the tool you are using and permanently clear your sinus while providing you with a full-body hair removal treatment.

1 If you decide to dig in the yard to plant those big trees, do not forget to call the utilities to find out where all the lines are buried. If you do forget, at best, you may accidentally cut your neighbor’s cable, and they are a work-at-home IRS agent. At worst, you may cut more important lines and assume you survive you will be fighting the outage charges for the rest of your life.

88 thoughts on “The Top Ten Things Not to Do While Working Outdoors”

  11. I’m with Jill, As much as I enjoy “fixing” whatever, some things are beyond my abilities. I love your list, John. Another great one! 😃

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I had to chuckle — the list for a boat worker differs from that of a homeowner, but many of the dynamics are the same. Substitute caulk for grease in #4 and you’d have the item that would top the list for me. There’s a reason they call deck seam caulking “black death.”

    Liked by 1 person

  14. All great advice! I might add one more that is relevant right now, and that is don’t go to Lowes or Home Depot without a pocketful of money. And if you have a bad heart, don’t go at all! Great list, John!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. On a more serious note: don’t walk about with a running chainsaw in your hand. I did that once in our old place in Karnes City and stumbled and fell over a wire hidden in the undergrowth. Well, it ended up in a chainsaw-throwing. I think I managed to throw the chainsaw for 5 or 6 yards. Ever since, I put the brake on when I need to move.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Oh dear. Such good advice, John. I’ll bet you’re happy not to be in Port A. right now — The Weather Channel had someone there this morning, and it looked like they might get BUCKETS of rain from that new storm. While it doesn’t appear to be moving inland, I imagine you’ll still get some rain from it. Here’s hoping you’ll stay safe … and dry!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Great list! I used to paint houses in the summer when I wasn’t teaching (there’s a commentary on what kind of money teachers make). After twenty summers, I was ready to retire. I had one more job in me—our house. The irony is I didn’t have any accidents until my last job when the ladder slipped, and I broke my back.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Eventually, the dumb part of my story was I knew I was hurt, and yet I hung in there and finished pressure washing the house before going to ER. I’d say that’s testimony to my grit, but it’s more a reflection of a stupid thing I did—had to get my money’s worth on the rented pressure washer.

        Liked by 1 person

  23. I used to paint boats. One time I was stupid enough to spray a boat on a windy day. There was a car in the vicinity, but I put up what I thought was enough protection to contain the overspray. Well, it didn’t. When I was finished, the car had a fine blue mist all over it. When I told the owner, he informed me that he had just bought the car brand-new and it was the first time he had driven it.
    I was lucky. I got to work right away before the paint had time to fully dry. The windows and windshield were easy. The body not so much. After a couple of hours it was back to new.
    Whew!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  26. Pingback: The Top Ten Things Not to Do While Working Outdoors – MAD Production. Company.

  27. Great post, John 🙂 I was nodding to a few of these. I recently saw my husband cut a branch above him with a chainsaw. He didn’t get hurt but it didn’t go well.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Pingback: The Top Ten Things Not to Do While Working Outdoors – Eduardoinbox

Comments are closed.