Ten Things Not to Do While Watching the Kids on an Inclement Day

Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

 

This post was originally run on November 3rd, 2014. Since there are still parents, children, and still inclement days, I think it will work. Also, if you have a minute I’m over at Story Empire talking about indications that your writing may not be working. Here’s the link but come back.

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This list was created to pay homage to parents trying to be an author and have the duty to take care of the little ones. I’ve been there and got the shirt.

Ten Things Not to Do While Watching the Kids on an Inclement Day

10 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not try to write on your novel. If you do, at best, you will produce a small number of very disappointing words. At worst, you will face a task as tricky as trying to teach a pig to sing. You and the pig will end up being very frustrated.

9 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not try to watch anything on TV that isn’t kid programming. If you do, at best, you won’t be able to see a thing. At worst, you will answer the door to see CPS agents with a warrant ready to take the kids because of the complaints your neighbors filed due to the non-stop screaming.

8 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not play games on your phone or notebook. If you do, at best, the kids will want to play as well. At worst, your attention will be diverted enough for the kids to get into every drawer, including that secret place where you hide adult toys. (And they will come to you and ask what these are for just when the next-door neighbor stops by for a visit)

7 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not attempt to talk on the phone. If you do, at best, you must be prepared to hold the kids the whole time. At worst, whoever you are talking to will wonder who is in charge in your home, why you are so mean to your lovable children, and what was that crash?

6 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not attempt to make anything in the kitchen that doesn’t have the word ‘lunch’ connected to it. If you do, at best, you will have little helpers who will make the project twice as long. At worst, you will invest your time and energy into something that, when served, contains a stray toy that you swore was safely on the other counter. The person getting the toy contaminated serving will be one of your in-laws

5 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not attempt to play their favorite game. If you do, at best, they will refuse to play since they sense your desperation. At worst, they will pretend their favorite game is avoiding playing their favorite game, thereby challenging you to stay away from the soothin’ syrup in the liquor cabinet.

4 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not call the neighbor for help. If you do, at best, your neighbor is in as desperate a condition, and two more problems won’t help. At worst, you will have an IOU, which you can never repay other than watching the neighbor’s kids at a time that is most critical for you to be able to work in peace.

3 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not think you can go to the store to kill time. If you do, at best, it will take all your strength to keep an even temperament and to return all the items grabbed off the shelves. At worst, you and the kids will be asked to leave the story by the same manager who before today was more than happy to take thousands of dollars when you shopped alone.

2 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not be tempted to lock yourself in the bedroom. If you do at best, the kids will not miss you. At worst, the kids will use the time to act out their ultimate stories, including the fire-breathing dragon and jousting tournament using things around the house for props. (You know, like the Crème Brule torch and a broom).

1 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not take them to the library. If you do, at best, the library’s peace will be shattered since being quiet is an invitation to do otherwise. At worst, you will find the normally placid library patrons and personnel looking like a zombie herd as they slowly circle you and your family. Unfortunately, the outcome doesn’t look like it’s going to be good.

52 comments

    1. I know right? 🤣

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Good list, John. What was your word count that day?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Minus three. 🤣

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Good advice, John!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahaha. Thanks, Joan.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Gwen M. Plano · · Reply

    Too funny, John. I sooo understand my mother now. As you know, I grew up on a farm and there were seven of us kids. In the morning (if we weren’t in school) mom would make us go outside and would lock the doors. She’d always say, “This is the best time of the day. Now enjoy it.” We’d be barely awake, but we’d soon find “stuff” to do. 😂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sounds like a good way to raise independence, Gwen. Thaks for sharing. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I love it. I’ve been there, and am glad this is behind me now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am too although watching the granddog has the same kind of cautions. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Guessing you shouldn’t do anything during these moments. Just ride it out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes and pay attention to them. Thanks, Charles.

      Like

  6. Oh, this was really funny! #1 and #2 had me laughing out loud. Thanks, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for letting me know you liked it, Jennie.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, John. Your Top Ten posts are my #1 favorites. Really.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Aw. So nice to hear, Jennie. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I’m glad! 😎

        Like

  7. We always had a movie and game day when the boys were out of school for the weather. But I wasn’t writing then, so these days it would be entirely different, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hear you. Lucky for me I didn’t start writing until the kids were totally gone. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  8. This is hilarious, John! And especially because I have my two granddaughters today. For some reason school is closed today and tomorrow.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wondered about school closing as well. Thanks, Jan.

      Like

  9. Oh, do I remember those days well…
    A couple VHS movies (back then till we switched to DVDs), a few snack bribes and Bob’s your uncle.
    Till they get restless, of course…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What ever it took. Thanks, Dale.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Darn tootin’!

        Liked by 1 person

  10. In short, if you are watching your kids on an inclement day, give up everything you might have planned, sit down on the floor and ask them what they want to do. I usually did that, and loved it when they said (if it was snowing) go outside!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yup. Always good to hear. In California we used to get on rain gear and go to the park if there was no lightning. The streams were running and jumping in them was great fun.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. The picture reminds me of my childhood, John: wherever there was a puddle, Pit was in it. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Just so you didn’t make your own.

      Like

  12. D.L. Finn, Author · · Reply

    Great list, John 🙂 Those days the kids seem to have an unlimited amount of energy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes they did. It was always nice to hear them sleeping.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. D.L. Finn, Author · ·

        Yes!

        Liked by 1 person

  13. You could say the same things (well, sort of) about trying to entertain a new puppy on an inclement day — and no, you can’t keep one cooped up in his crate for 24 hours either! Nicely done, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Been there for sure, Debbie. Thanks,

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I miss those days. Would I want them back? Not really . . but still, I miss those days.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m with you.

      Like

  15. I’m sure that I made a few of these errors in the past:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think we all have, Becky. Thanks.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. petespringerauthor · · Reply

    So much good advice. We’ve had inclement days the past two days in California, but fortunately, there were no kids for us to watch. Schools wisely planned in-service days today rather than being in school with hyped-up sugar-filled kids.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Those days seem to be universal. Thanks, Pete.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. “The streams were running and jumping in them was great fun.”

    Did you let the kids jump in the streams, too?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Of course. That was the whole idea.

      Like

    1. Thank you for sharing, Michael.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Wonderful and true. I do not have kids on my own, but i had time enough observing this either in the neighborhood as with friends. For having kids these times the best is hiring a project manager. 😉 xx Michael

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Might be good to hire a project manager instead of having kids. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lol – Sometimes i really think this could save money and also nerves. Lol xx

        Liked by 1 person

  19. Great advice, John, and those were the days. 🙂 Seems like a lifetime ago!

    Liked by 1 person

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