Top Ten Writing Things Not to Discuss with Anyone Who’s Not a Writer

~ John W. Howell
Photo by Geraldine Ng on Unsplash

 

Top Ten Writing Things Not to Discuss with Anyone Who’s Not a Writer

10 If you are a writer, do not discuss how hard it is to write. If you do, at best, you’ll get an eye roll. At worst, you’ll be talking to someone who disarms bombs for a living and will laugh out loud in your face. ( Your comments now seem so first-world, don’t they?)

9 If you are a writer, do not discuss your characters as if they are real. If you do, at best, you will find people avoiding you. At worst, you will be talking to someone who has an imaginary friend that they believe would be a perfect protagonist for your next book. (Sure, glad you mentioned them, right?)

8 If you are a writer, do not discuss your latest plot breakthrough. If you do, at best, you will be given laundry to do. At worst, the entire family will suddenly disappear, knowing you can’t wait to tell them how you solved the plot hole. (Maybe the weather is an excellent subject to discuss.)

7 If you are a writer, do not discuss your latest review. If you do, at best, you will be talking to someone who couldn’t care less. At worst, you could be talking to a person who just finished your book and had not thought of the negative points brought up by the reviewer and has to leave quickly to downgrade their review on Amazon. (I hear bourbon is an excellent treatment for foot in mouth disease.)

6 If you are a writer, do not discuss your book with friends. If you do., at best, they will all pledge to read and review your book, and you know they won’t. At worse, you will tell some spoilers, and the person you are regaling with the tale now has no reason to buy and read the book. (Might have been your only sale this month)

5 If you are a writer, do not discuss how hard it is to market your book. If you do, at best, the person you are talking to will not understand anything you are saying. At worst, they may ask, “Who forced you to write the damn thing anyway?” (The word touche has perfect application here.)

4 If you are a writer, do not discuss your book with your partner. If you do, at best, you will get a smile and a head nod. At worst, you might get some advice that you know you will not follow. (Your ignoring the guidance will only become critical if your partner reads it and sees you didn’t follow the advice.)

3 If you are a writer, do not discuss your royalty arrangements. If you do, at best, you will confirm that your writing is a hobby. At worst, you will demonstrate to others that you have entirely lost your mind in pursuing a writing career. (Maybe keeping that day job is a good idea.)

2 If you are a writer, do not discuss word counts. If you do, at best, the person who is listening to your minimum production will be polite enough not to walk away. At worst, you will be talking to someone who thinks one hundred of anything is a lot and will be so blown away with your thousands they will expect you to buy dinner. (The joy of being a word millionaire.)

1 If you are a writer, do not discuss formats, downloads, Amazon, cover art, fonts, or KDP. If you do, at best, the person will be so impressed that they won’t fall asleep immediately. (only temporary, however) At worst, your conversation will be interrupted by a phone call even if you didn’t hear the phone ring. (You were on a roll, and gotta wonder how long can a phone call last?)

98 thoughts on “Top Ten Writing Things Not to Discuss with Anyone Who’s Not a Writer”

  5. I would add to that list, this: In the same way as we are advised to sing as though no-one is listening and dance as though no-one is watching, a writer should write as though no-one will read it. That probably won’t result in better writing, but it will save a lot of disappointment when I the writer realises that no-one is!

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  7. I’ve often reflected on the times my friend and I (who is a writer) got together. We understood one another. When our husbands were with us… Well, that was another matter.

    Non-writers just don’t understand us. Great post, John!

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  10. What a great list! I suspect most of us have learned the hard way that only writers understand writers. Thank you for the smiles and the nods, John. This post is a keeper! 😂

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  15. Wonderful list, John! Might be I’m lucky in being stuck at home alone all day with no car. That way, the only glassy-eyed look I get when trying to discuss any aspect of my writing comes from my husband, and is an expression of his I see fairly often, on many topics. (That probably says as much about me as it does about him, but hey … it’s been 40 years since we met. A few glassy-eyed stares are to be expected, I suppose.)

    I laughed at every point you made here, and think you hit the nail on the head for each one! 😂

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  20. *chuckling* YES, John, you’ve nailed this one. I can relate to nearly all of your points! People seem so excited to “meet” a writer, but when push comes to shove, they sure don’t want the details, ha!

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  21. 6 smacked me in the head good and hard. I have found people aren’t always happy about your love for the written word. Envious perhaps they haven’t anything aside from Oreos or Three Stooges reruns they love as much. No, keep your plots and word counts close to your vest I say. This is new. Not a command performance. 🙂

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  22. All excellent advice, John. I’ve probably done most of the things on your list, but it was a long time ago. I’ve learned from my mistakes. These days I won’t talk about my writing even when I’m encouraged to do so. Friends and family mean to be kind, but they can’t hide that glazed look that comes over their eyes when I start to talk about my novel 😉

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  25. So funny, John. I’m not a writer (a yarn teller, maybe, but not a writer), but I bet a lot of these are true. #10 had me laughing, well, chuckling…. Good job!

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      1. Thank you, John, you flatter me. I look at other contributors to WP and see their prolific postings and think, now that’s a writer. You’re among that group. I don’t know how you do it. Certainly, it takes discipline and creativity, an abundance of both. Maybe one day I’ll select a number of my stories and call it a book🤓. Thanks for your support, John.

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  29. The characters being real is not a conversation you can have with just anyone. Unless you’re okay with people recommending a therapist every time you talk to them.

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  33. Wonderful advice. Glad I found this. As I begin my writing journey I find it difficult to know what to tell people and what not to tell them about what I am working on. It does not help that my friends and family ask me about it. I have made stuff up on the fly before then had to put it into the story so I was not lying. I also don’t want to spoil anything for anyone meaning I don’t tell them everything, even if I get excited over the new discovery or addition. Still this is a good start to help me on my way. Thank you.

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  36. Wise considerations, dear John! What a bomb-post of 10 things not to. In fact, if you are a writer don’t discuss…write! 🙂

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  37. Number 9 rings a bell. When I was writing the Danny stories and I tried to explain the concept to someone at party or whatever, I’d usually get to the point of saying, “Danny doesn’t really write them.” Then the person would look at me as though I was nuts.

    But I have to say, sometimes I’d write a line when Danny really let me have it, and then I’d look down at him curled up at my feet, and say, “You’re something else, Danny.” I was buying into the lie that Danny really was writing the stories.

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