Top Ten Things Not to Do if Your Inhibitions Have Been Set Free.

Photo by Peter Conlan on Unsplash

This post ran in June of 2015. However, I think it may still have some worthy seeds of advice.

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The inspiration for this list is a lifetime of observation of people’s behavior who finally let down their defenses. The lowering of defenses may have resulted from being over-served or just a decision of not wanting to hold back any longer.  Although becoming open and honest without pretense can be the right thing, the consequences of Id liberation make such a move potentially the source of regret.  I hope you enjoy the list.

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do if Your Inhibitions Have Been Set Free.

10 If you feel uninhibited, do not free your body from clothes to match your mind. If you do, at best, you will be all alone in the woods. At worst, you will become aware of your condition as the mall cops wrestle you to the floor and try to hide your parts. (Besides, i’s cold on that floor.)

9 If you feel uninhibited, do not ignore the speed laws. If you do, at best, you’ll get home in one piece. At worst, you will find it hard to explain to the justice system that you no longer think the laws of the land apply to you since you feel free. (You will also risk having a mandatory psych evaluation before your trial.)

8 If you feel uninhibited, do not walk out of a store with unpaid merchandise. If you do, at best, you can explain you forgot to check out, and no harm done. At worst, you will be escorted to the rear of the store by a guy with SECURITY on his shirt. (Walking past the fifth grade class of your kid’s school on their annual retail field trip.)

7 If you feel uninhibited, do not overestimate the value of the truth. If you do, at best, your truthful comments will be limited to the weather. At worst, your truth-telling on some subjects will lead you to be asked to leave the country for good by some somber-looking people. (Their shirts have the word ICE on them. They are not selling drinks.)

6 If you feel uninhibited, do not blow your horn to encourage the pack of Hells Angles to get out of your way. If you do, at best, they might move over to let you pass. At worst, you will find yourself on the back of a Harley Softail hanging on to Moose for dear life with the next stop in Sturgis. (Oh, and your car is in several of the member’s saddlebags. (They promise they will put it back together after the rally.)

5 If you feel uninhibited, do not tell the checkout person about all the things you couldn’t find today. (Even if asked) If you do, at best, you will realize no one cares about what you couldn’t find. At worst, the checkout person will call the manager with the words “whining customer on register four.” (Those behind you will be calling for some tar and feathers.)

4 If you feel uninhibited, do not take the survey you are offered during your call to customer service of the electric company to report that your power has been off for four hours. If you do, at best, you will not see your power for three days. At worst, your survey will be handed to the uncooperative employee you talked with and includes your home address, phone number, and hours when your electricity usage is lowest. (You will wonder what that black car is doing across the street every night. Hint, leave town)

3 If you feel uninhibited, do not answer the question, “Where would you like to go for dinner?” If you do, at best, you will resent the fact you had to decide the rest of the night. At worst, you will rant about why you always have to arrange everything. You will ask, “Why just this once can’t you make the $#@*&% decision.” (The result will be carry-out and total silence at dinner and for the rest of the month.)

2 If you feel uninhibited and someone from management asks what you think should be done to improve the workplace, do not tell everyone what you think. If you do, at best, your coworkers will endeavor to move away from you. At worst, you will, in two minutes of meaningful suggestions, render yourself a pariah. (And a perfect candidate for that assignment in Iraq.)

1 If you feel uninhibited, do not visit any store with merchandise priced any higher than a dollar. If you do, At best, you will snap out of it in time. At worst, you will finally be stopped by the credit card security group, which honestly believes your card has been stolen. (Your limit was reached in only two stops, and one was a diamond store.)

63 comments

  1. Lols 😂. Great list, John 💕🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Harmony.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Excellent list. Feeling like I’m too old to even consider dropping inhibitions. Too rough on the back and fragile psyche.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know how you feel.

      Like

    1. Thanks for sharing, Michael.

      Like

  3. Wise advice, John. Why is it the cashiers never ask if I’ve found everything I needed at the times when I didn’t? Perhaps they have a sixth sense and don’t want to hear me complain?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. These days I think they have stopped asking. Thanks, Joan

      Liked by 1 person

      1. They’re smart not too. 😆

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Really fantastic tips! Lol You should set these in stone. :-)) Thanks, John! I wish you a wonderful day, and a great week! xx Michael

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You as well, Michael. Thinking of stone…Pretty hard to carry around. 😁

      Like

  5. These are great, particularly the whining customer on register four! I always answer yes to that question because I dont want to waste any more time not finding what I didn’t find.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. I’m with you. No one cares about what is missing anyway.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Jill.

      Like

  6. This is a good one. I especially smiled at #6. I remember the days when a polite horn honk was acknowledged with a thank-you wave. Those days are gone. No matter how long that person at the red light continues to stare at their phone, I try to resist the temptation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me too although I have been contemplating installing a train engine horn to be used for the phone people.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Great list, John. #6 reminded me of our first dog. She loved to ride in my pickup with the window down a bit. We were in the left-turn lane at a light when a large group of bikers filled the right two lanes. She started barking like crazy. These were not power windows, and I couldn’t reach the crank. I was trying to say “I’m sorry” over her ruckus, and hoping none of them decided to turn left with me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. I’m sure they all had a snicker over that.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Even if the store didn’t have half of the items on my list, I just say yes when I’m asked by the cashiers if I’ve found everything. With such a shortage of staff, they’re stressed enough as it is, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Management ought to be slapped for keeping it up. Thanks, Teri.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Funny stuff. I’ll share three that I use a lot
    1. At a restaurant when paying at the cashier. They ask me “how was everything?” I tell them that I don’t know, I didn’t have everything.
    2. At the grocery store the cashier will ask me if I found everything okay? I tell them I was not looking for everything. This is even better when I have one item.
    3. A lot of times in a store, library, etc. they ask me “can I help you?” I like to tell them, NO. My wife says I’m beyond help.

    Thanks for the the chuckles.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. All three made me laugh, Tom. I’m sure the ones on the other end of these love them too. 😁

      Like

      1. A lot don’t get it. Sad world. Oh well, I still like messing with them.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’ll bet they give you some pretty strange looks.

        Like

  10. Sage advice, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was thinking more on the thyme side of things. Thanks, Craig.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Gwen M. Plano · · Reply

    Hilarious, John. ICE?? So funny, my friend. 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Gwen. I like that abbreviation for sure. 😁

      Like

  12. Thanks for the chuckles this morning, John. #6 is my favorite. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jan. I thought you might like that one.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Good ones all. My advice is if you’re feeling uninhibited don’t take up an unfamiliar sport!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good advice, Noelle. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Number 10 is my favourite

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Chris.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Good ones, John! I guess that, even in the age we live in (the Asshole Era), it can be beneficial to maintain some semblance of consideration for others.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ys it can. I’d rather not join the Assholes . Thanks, Tim

      Liked by 1 person

  16. I can personally attest to # 5 & # 2 being positively right on the money!!

    Like

    1. Thank you, GP. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  17. D.L. Finn, Author · · Reply

    Good list, John 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Denise.

      Like

  18. I’m still chuckling over #10, John. Perhaps it’s best to keep those inhibitions fenced in a bit!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think so. Letting them out can lead to all kinds of trouble.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. petespringerauthor · · Reply

    Great list, John. I never understand the people in line who complain to the cashier about the merchandise as if the worker is in charge of the entire store.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Usually the invisibility of management in the store is the reason. The cashier represents the only connection. In the sores here the cashiers ask the question, “Did you find everything today?” It is best to say yes since they are not empowered to do anything. Thanks, Pete.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. You remind me to be happy that I stopped drinking since, I was always the girl with that lampshade on her head.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You should be so happy. That kind of fun all too often carries consequences. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re telling me.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’ve got some special memories of occasions when I was overserved. 😳

        Like

  21. Oh, this was hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jennie.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, John.

        Liked by 1 person

  22. The last time I felt uninhibited, I woke up three days later in the San Diego County Jail. (Top tier, last cell on the right.) To pass the time while awaiting my day in court, my cellmate and I made a chess set out of torn paper bits. We were lucky; somehow, we came into possession of a pencil, which meant we could identify the pieces. You know, “P” for pawn, “Q” for queen, etc. But we didn’t have a board, so we had to imagine the squares. After a few days of that shit, I haven’t been right since.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. I can’t imagine having a roommate in the jailhouse who could play chess. Sounds like luck of the draw. Of course, there is the insanity of it all which makes for a laugh out loud story. Thanks, Andrew.

      Like

  23. Sadly, walking out of a store with unpaid merchandise has become all the rage. It’s a sport, really.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. You know… this is all sound advice…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No fun though

      Liked by 1 person

      1. True ’nuff.

        Liked by 1 person

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