This post ran in June of 2015. However, I think it may still have some worthy seeds of advice.
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The inspiration for this list is a lifetime of observation of people’s behavior who finally let down their defenses. The lowering of defenses may have resulted from being over-served or just a decision of not wanting to hold back any longer. Although becoming open and honest without pretense can be the right thing, the consequences of Id liberation make such a move potentially the source of regret. I hope you enjoy the list.
Top Ten Things Not to Do if Your Inhibitions Have Been Set Free.
10 If you feel uninhibited, do not free your body from clothes to match your mind. If you do, at best, you will be all alone in the woods. At worst, you will become aware of your condition as the mall cops wrestle you to the floor and try to hide your parts. (Besides, i’s cold on that floor.)
9 If you feel uninhibited, do not ignore the speed laws. If you do, at best, you’ll get home in one piece. At worst, you will find it hard to explain to the justice system that you no longer think the laws of the land apply to you since you feel free. (You will also risk having a mandatory psych evaluation before your trial.)
8 If you feel uninhibited, do not walk out of a store with unpaid merchandise. If you do, at best, you can explain you forgot to check out, and no harm done. At worst, you will be escorted to the rear of the store by a guy with SECURITY on his shirt. (Walking past the fifth grade class of your kid’s school on their annual retail field trip.)
7 If you feel uninhibited, do not overestimate the value of the truth. If you do, at best, your truthful comments will be limited to the weather. At worst, your truth-telling on some subjects will lead you to be asked to leave the country for good by some somber-looking people. (Their shirts have the word ICE on them. They are not selling drinks.)
6 If you feel uninhibited, do not blow your horn to encourage the pack of Hells Angles to get out of your way. If you do, at best, they might move over to let you pass. At worst, you will find yourself on the back of a Harley Softail hanging on to Moose for dear life with the next stop in Sturgis. (Oh, and your car is in several of the member’s saddlebags. (They promise they will put it back together after the rally.)
5 If you feel uninhibited, do not tell the checkout person about all the things you couldn’t find today. (Even if asked) If you do, at best, you will realize no one cares about what you couldn’t find. At worst, the checkout person will call the manager with the words “whining customer on register four.” (Those behind you will be calling for some tar and feathers.)
4 If you feel uninhibited, do not take the survey you are offered during your call to customer service of the electric company to report that your power has been off for four hours. If you do, at best, you will not see your power for three days. At worst, your survey will be handed to the uncooperative employee you talked with and includes your home address, phone number, and hours when your electricity usage is lowest. (You will wonder what that black car is doing across the street every night. Hint, leave town)
3 If you feel uninhibited, do not answer the question, “Where would you like to go for dinner?” If you do, at best, you will resent the fact you had to decide the rest of the night. At worst, you will rant about why you always have to arrange everything. You will ask, “Why just this once can’t you make the $#@*&% decision.” (The result will be carry-out and total silence at dinner and for the rest of the month.)
2 If you feel uninhibited and someone from management asks what you think should be done to improve the workplace, do not tell everyone what you think. If you do, at best, your coworkers will endeavor to move away from you. At worst, you will, in two minutes of meaningful suggestions, render yourself a pariah. (And a perfect candidate for that assignment in Iraq.)
1 If you feel uninhibited, do not visit any store with merchandise priced any higher than a dollar. If you do, At best, you will snap out of it in time. At worst, you will finally be stopped by the credit card security group, which honestly believes your card has been stolen. (Your limit was reached in only two stops, and one was a diamond store.)