Top Ten Things Not to do While Watching Football on TV

Since the American football season is underway, I thought it would be good to pull forward a post that ran on September 25th, 2015. The season starts earlier this year, so hopefully, mistakes can be avoided. I hope you enjoy it.

Top Ten Things Not to do While Watching Football on TV

10 If you are watching football, do not work on your finances. If you do, at best, you might have to redo the numbers every time an announcer mentions a score. At worst, you could have a problem when your bank calls about a deposit slip that reads first and ten. (Sure, you can explain that to the bank teller)

9 If you are watching football, do not try to carry on a conversation. If you do, at best, you will not fool anyone when you answer the wrong question with the wrong answer. At worst, you could be vulnerable to saying yes to one of those tricky issues relating to vacation destinations or furniture style. (Hope you enjoy the 24-hour hot yoga class while on vaycay)

8 If you are watching football, do not try to write a post for Monday. If you do, at best, you may miss a mistook or two. At worst, the logic and care you put into your writing may be lost as you get muddled in your thought process and try desperately to make a comeback but find yourself fighting out of an awkward place and running eighty yards for a touchdown. (This shows you can obviously watch and write at the same time)

7 If you are watching football, do not try to figure out how to install that iPhone app. If you do, at best, you’ll never get your Apple password correct. At worst, you will fail to notice the $99.00 cost of the “Write like Steven King” app you just installed. (You can bet it works too)

6 If you are watching football, do not try to help the kids with their homework. If you do, at best, you will demonstrate why they should never ask again. At worst, your help is the impetus for the remedial intervention program in which they become enrolled at the school. (Well, you did try hard, didn’t you?)

5 If you are watching football, do not try to cook an elaborate meal. If you do, at best, the ingredients you forgot won’t be missed. At worst, you will have made a concoction that the government will want to use to undermine the morale of enemy troops. (You thought it was going to be perfect. Right?)

4 If you are watching football, do not try to talk on the phone to your boss. If you do, at best, your lack of attention will not be held against you. At worst, your boss will think you have some cognitive problem and assume you are drinking. (Too bad your boss has been to rehab cause now you are going)

3 If you are watching football, do not answer the door and have visitors drop in. If you do, at best, you will ignore them. At worst, you will offend the folks who stopped by not paying attention to them, and they happen to be the people in charge of the pre-school home visit staff. (This was the premier pre-school in your state)

2 If you are watching football, do not assume everyone in your household shares your passion. If you do, at best, you will wonder why you are watching the game alone. At worst, you might even find you are home alone, and there is no note telling where everyone has gone. (Hard to believe not everyone wants to watch twelve hours of Football on the weekend, hey, Bucky)

1 If you are watching football, do not commit to watching the kids. If you do, at best, they will not wander out of the house. At worst, you will be investigated by CPS for keeping the kids tied to the couch for a full four quarters. (You might have gotten away with just a half)

64 comments

  1. Your list is a good one. On the other hand, your post reminded me that the last time I remember watching football on tv was at a certain Superbowl party. I knew I had at least one photo from that day, so I dug around and found it. It was taken in 2009. Whoops!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. A long time ago for sure. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. So long ago that my hair was brown…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I actually had a more hair in 2009. 🤣

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Harmony. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yeah, football and finances certainly don’t mix! Good ones, John.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Jill. 😁

      Like

  3. I’ve been there before.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’ll bet. 😁

      Like

  4. Depending on your team, don’t have too much hope for the season.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ye that is always a good idea. 😁

      Like

  5. I agree with them all!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, GP. Now the question is how many do your do?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. errrrrrrrrrrrrr….

        Liked by 1 person

  6. When football is on – especially the Steelers – I always know not to talk to hubby. He’s laser focused on one thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Not being a football fan, I don’t have to worry about any of these, but a great list for those who do!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Fortunately, my wife likes football as much as I do so we don’t often break any of each other’s rules. They are pretty much the same. I definitely think it is a good idea not to try entertaining other folks when watching football, especially if any of them think you’ll give them your undivided attention. Or any attention, for that matter.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We are the same. Want to come over just sit down, eat too much, and hush up.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Great list, John! Might I add, Do not jump up and down hollering when your team scores a touchdown, or you’ll get the dog to barking and miss whether the extra points are good!!

    Like

  10. Watching football would be synonymous with taking a nap. Perhaps preceded by a sip or two of liquid meditation fluid. Ooooohmmmm…

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I won’t get into the weeds, but I’m guilty of a couple of these, John. Great list.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think we all are. Thanks, Dan

      Liked by 1 person

  12. D.L. Finn, Author · · Reply

    A great list for football season, John 🙂 Good point to stay away from working with numbers during.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes indeed. Thanks, Denise.

      Like

  13. My husband likes to watch football. I’ve never understood the appeal, myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mmmm. I’m with your husband on this.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. To keep the peace at home, I have to make sure I cheer for the right team. That’s my number 1! *grin*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very important.

      Like

  15. And Mary has trained me well! 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You needed training for sure.

      Like

  16. petespringerauthor · · Reply

    Perhaps my favorite time of the year. We flew to Montana for our son’s team’s first game on Saturday. (He’s a football coach.) They came away with a hard-fought win. Of course, it’s much more fun coming home a winner, but I just get pleasure from watching him do something he loves

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ll bet that is rewarding for sure.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Love number 8 😉
    And hopefully, one has at least one member of the family as fanatic as you…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is true. Lucky for me The Producer is right in there.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Very lucky!

        Like

  18. True, American football can definitely capture my attention enough that important tasks fade into the background. My wife doesn’t have that problem, though. To her a football game is just white noise. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m very lucky cause my wife loves the game.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. #10 or 8 could definitely have some consequences, John. 🙂 Great list!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Lauren. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  20. LOL, I can see that you are a person who would prefer to do two things at once–like me! But sometimes you just can’t do it. May I suggest #11? Don’t scream so loud that your wife goes deaf and hides in the bedroom through the whole game (that ones for my SIL).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes #11 would be a no-no.

      Like

  21. Yeah, Sunday afternoon football and playing with the kiddoes just doesn’t work very well. As a . . . umm . . friend . . . once told me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your friend was right.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I thought so too . . .

        Liked by 1 person

  22. It is very hard to read your post when the words jiggle (because I’m laughing hard) and the words blur (because all that laughing makes me cry.) 😅

    Liked by 1 person

    1. All pitfalls, Jennie. Thanks for giving me a smile today.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  23. […] Top Ten Things Not to do While Watching Football on TV […]

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing my post, Patrick.

      Like

  24. It’s that time of year again where hope rise and dash with each week. Here’s to a good season.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do not have much hope for the Steelers but with all the talent they brought in at QB one can hold out for miracles. Go Broncos

      Liked by 1 person

      1. If they can protect Russell, they might be able to salvage the season. I doubt they’ll make the playoffs but it’ll all depend on that offensive line.

        Liked by 1 person

  25. I agree, distractions during a football game can cause chaos for no reason, it makes you struggle while thinking for no apparent reason.

    Like

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