Stream of Consciousness Saturday – “Start with Why.”

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

 

Why does the sun go on shining? Why does the sea rush to shore? Don’t they know it’s the end of the world? Cause you don’t love me anymore. Dusty Springfield’s song End of the World goes through my head as the espresso machine orders a descale before dispensing my life-saving fluid. More time and more waiting lead to a friendly smiley face on the control screen, followed by the unmistakable snorts of the brewing process.

Ten ounces of Columbia’s most well-known liquid safely in the mug allows the contemplation of another Saturday. A move to the back porch promises a relaxing interlude with nature. Unfortunately, such a promise is broken by an annoying whistle that continues to increase in volume. It suddenly dawns on my caffeine-starved awareness center that the increasing volume indicates something falling from the sky. The closer, the louder until the pain of the sound is almost unbearable, and tightly closed eyes have the wish that it will cease.

Like a miracle, suddenly, it stops and is followed by what can only be described as an undulation of the earth and a debris downpour. Yes, as you may have surmised, something big has fallen from the sky and into the backyard. The coffee in my mug has been half emptied by the force of the contact and then magically half filled by small pieces of dirt. Since it is no longer serviceable, I set it down and walk cautiously toward the steaming crater in the turf.

Reaching the edge of the hole, the words Mosler Safe are clearly visible on the front of the steel rectangle. There is a combination lock and handle just waiting for closer inspection. Climbing into the crater, I touch the combination dial, which is still warm. I always crack safes by inputting the date of Christmas, so I turn the dial to the right to twelve, then back left past twelve to two, and then to five. There is a loud click, and sure enough, the handle allows me to open the door.

“Dagnabit cose that door. You’ll make me catch my death of cold.” The voice is one I recognize, and of course, it is someone who looks like Yosemite Sam, but for some reason, he is in his underwear. I hope I don’t startle him, so I say quietly, “Can I help you?”

“Help me? You dadburn tenderfoot. I’m here to help you. Here take this letter and shut the dadgum door.” I do as he says and walk back to the porch. I open the envelope, and sure enough, it is from Linda Hill. Before wondering how the heck Yosemite Sam got into a Mosler Safe in his underwear, I tear open the letter. It says Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “start with why.” Begin your post with the word “why.” Have fun!

If you want to have, fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/09/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-3-2022/Β 

The other considerations of how the safe got airborne and then strategically aimed to land in my yard will be left for another time.

Start with Why by John W. Howell Β© 2022

“So you leave us up in the air on the why of this adventure?”

“I’m not sure I can answer why.”

“You are the author, for heaven’s sake. You must have an idea.”

‘Well, I just sit and type. I don’t know the motivation for every move.”

“Who’s idea was it to put Yosemite Sam in underwear?”

“His, I think.”

“And why a Mosler Safe?”

“Ever see one of those?”

“No.”

“Heavy and massive. They weigh two tons. Would make a large hole when hitting the ground.”

“From the air?”

“Yup.”

“So, who would toss a two-ton hunk of metal out of an airplane?”

“One of the crew, I suppose.”

“For what reason.”

“To get our attention.”

“Oh. Well, it worked.”

“See, I knew you would come around.”

“I will never understand you, writers.”

“I don’t think you should try. You do understand the call of the sixpack, though.”

“Well, yeah. It’s my second language.”

“Don’t you hear it now?”

“I do. Call Uber, and let’s go.”

“For a couple of beers.”

“Hey, listen. It’s not worth going for just a couple. I’m going for all I want.”

“Calling Uber now.”

“You are the best.”

“I think enabler is more the term.”

 

 

 

90 comments

  1. Those Mosler safes are ginormous!

    Your story leaves me asking why it ain’t Happy Hour yet . . .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. I’m with you. There’s a VooDoo Ranger wit my name on it just waiting.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Like a kid, I keep asking ‘why’ and it seems to annoy people. 😏

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ha ha ha. I can imagine. Thanks, GP.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. An Uber definitely sounds like a good idea. Happy Saturday sung to the tune of El Paso by Marty Robbins. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Another good one. Happy Saturday to you * Sung to the tune of He’ll Have to Go by Jim Reeves. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Undulating is one of my favorite words. Great post, I can hear it that’s your wonderful way with words again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww thank you, Jill. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  5. A fun story with safe cracking tips for all.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good for garage door openers too.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Way to go, John. Why should one be thankful for enablers? Why not? πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think you are right, Tim. Heck half the nutcases on Earth wouldn’t exist without enablers. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Good that you’re planning for the future, John and staying safe on the road. I hope you locked Yosemite’s guns in a different safe.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I forgot all about his six shooters. No telling what will happen when that safe is moved. Thanks, Dan

      Liked by 1 person

  8. John, was the safe from Acme Amalgamated Industries? You know the company. Along with safes they manufacture anvils and explosives. Have a great Saturday.
    MEEP! MEEP!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You have it pinpointed exactly. Thanks, Dan

      Like

  9. Why is it always your lawn ….it’s earth shattering πŸ’œ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I guess because it is easy to fix. Just roll out another section.

      Like

      1. Bless you are soooo patient! πŸ’œ

        Liked by 1 person

      2. We must be for our art don’t you think, Willow?

        Like

      3. Yes indeed John πŸ’œ

        Liked by 1 person

  10. I do believe you have just outdone yourself sir. Whilst it may not be a Pulitzer I do believe three fingers are in order…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would take three fingers over a Pulitzer any day.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. From Dusty Springfield to Yosemite Sam in his underwear in a safe? I think this one wins the prize for the most elaborate intro yet! Bravo!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Liz. This is what happens when the brain is allowed to roam freely under the stream of consciousness banner. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I shall heed your warning.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. The suspense really got me going!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh good. Thanks, Linda. 😁

      Like

  13. Hold on there, I say hold on! It’s fine and dandy to have this contraption land in your backyard. It is NOT, however, OK for it to make you lose your coffee… Just sayin’.
    I’ll join you on the VooDoo tonight, if I may? Change in our usual scheduling… πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Okay. Mine’s at 6:00 Central.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. OK. Good. We usually watch one show, then get our brew on for the movie πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Sounds fun. The Producer and I are catching up with Yellowstone.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Oooh! So good! I can’t wait for the next season in November πŸ™‚
        Enjoy! We’re still chatting. Dunno what we’re watching yet! πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Thank you. Say hey to the chatee

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Absolutely! His power just went out and we disconnected. I’m on standby 😏

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Tel the man to keep up with the electric bill

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Hahaha! Will do πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

  14. I have always like that song, John. Entertaining as always πŸ’•

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Robbie. I’m glad you did. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I need a drink after reading this! But I do love Dusty Springfield.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. She is good. Thanks, Noelle.

      Like

  16. Ha ha ha! At first all I could think of was that Chicken Little was right. Dagnab it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. For that moment in time and place she certainly was right. Thanks Pamela.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Ha! Ha! I’m always amazed how these Saturday posts quickly move from coffee to beer. πŸ™‚ Good one, John. I love the Dusty Springfield song!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Two important liquids. Thanks, Jan

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Gwen M. Plano · · Reply

    Another fun episode, John. Thank you for the laughter — and great music. Enjoy the day! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Gwen. I hope you enjoy what is left of the day as well.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. petespringerauthor · · Reply

    Lots of fun and a good reminder to call an Uber when drinking.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Always. Thanks, Pete.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. I think you had more than dirt land in your coffee to inspire that story!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wondered what those mushrooms were doing there.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. An Uber is a good idea, John. This was fun, but it’s only coffee time here. πŸ™‚ Happy Sunday! β˜•οΈπŸ˜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well you can wait until brunch time. We will be here all day.

      Like

  22. Why, I’m so glad to see things are back to normal at your place on Saturday’s Stream!
    So, were Yosemite’s undies white? Red? Patterned?
    Was he wearing just boxers, or a tank-t and boxers? I honestly can’t see Yosemite in tightie whities, so please…… don’t tell me that!
    Anyway, Hope you enjoyed your enabling!
    My parents used to let me babysit so I could buy outfits for my Barbies. Were they enabling me, or just saving money?
    πŸ‚πŸ‚
    Strange, but the ox emoji has worked its way up to my 9th most used emoji .

    In a year of Streams, you’d never guess what my #1 most used emoji is?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hate to tell you but Sam wears long johns with the bum flap. Your number one emoji has to be πŸ’‹

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No, it’s the sponge! 🧽
        Although, think I’ll start working on πŸ’‹ right now, currently in #17.
        Get ready John! πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹
        I’ll be back!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The sponge???? Never would have guessed. The πŸ’‹ looks so much more like you.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Although, it does have to do with kisses. You see, Marina’s dog, Hera is a biggie. Hera is a slobbery kisser, and is constantly sending me waves of kisses.
        I have to reorder a box of sponges every month. I only wish there was a MOP emoji!
        πŸ’‹ – now #1

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Yea for πŸ’‹ number one. Why isn’t there a mop emoji?πŸͺ  Here is a fill in

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I dunno, but thanks for the broom! I’ll tie a bunch of sponges to it! That shud work.
        I mean, do L & T have slobbery kisses?
        Just in case! 🧽🧽

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Yes they both do. 😳

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Well, I hope they are red long johns! Bum flap indeed! πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Ha ha ha ha ha. 🀭

        Liked by 1 person

      9. 🀭🀭

        Liked by 1 person

  23. Your intro reminds me of why I take two Excedrin with a coffee chaser in the morning πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, don’t blame you, Marie. I have thought about three fingers of bourbon with a coffee chaser

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ha ha … that would send me back to bed except I wouldn’t be able to sleep! Way back in my misspent youth, I enjoyed Irish coffees. These days that combination of alcohol and caffeine would probably make my head explode like a chameleon on a plaid shirt.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ha ha ha. There are so many things from our youth in that category

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Indeed! And too many that I still remember … lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  24. ‘Call of the beer’… that was funny. Loved Yosemite Sam, and hope we find out why he was in the safe in his underwear.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hard to say for sure

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You do keep us in suspense!

        Liked by 1 person

  25. D.L. Finn, Author · · Reply

    Now that takes some good aiming to get that safe just so in its landing. Another good one!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. At least the wind can’t blow it off course.

      Like

  26. What fun, John! Enjoy your week!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You as well, Traci.

      Liked by 1 person

  27. This is called life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. Excellent summary. 😁

      Like

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