The coffee is taking an unusual amount of time today. An ear to the machine picks up the usual sounds, so all must be normal. It brings to mind that perhaps divices have trouble getting going in the morning too. Looking in the back of the fridge pays off with not only spotting the half and half but hearing the satisfying sputter and pour sounds of the nectar of the gods flowing into my mug.
The addition of half and half pushes the morning brew into a new dimension whose mesmerizing quality is broken by the klaxon warning horn. Throwing treats on the floor finally gets Twiggy and Lucy to come down from the ceiling and substitute sounds of joy for the ear-bleeding decibel level of their barking.
A gulp of coffee and a sigh precede the opening of the door ritual. Gate thrown open, bar lifted, concertina wire coiled, machine guns on standby, Trebuchet disarmed, Claymore mines picked up, submarine net in the moat raised, boiling oil turned off, hovering drone grounded, bolts thrown and locks undone.
The open door reveals a being that looks like Wile E. Coyote. “Don’t tell me. I called the ACME explosives company and asked for an engineer to help remove that safe and person from my backyard. So please don’t say you are him.”
He nods, and the cold feeling along my spine immediately leads me to believe a problem of monumental proportion now exists. Wile E. Coyote is perhaps the most incompetent user of ACME products. He immediately hands me two envelopes. The first contains a certification of one Wile E. Coyote as an ACME happiness engineer. Looking him in the shifty eyes confirms the depth of the trouble. The second envelope contains a message from Linda Hill. It reads. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “back of the fridge.” Write the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the phrase “back of the fridge.” Enjoy!
If you want to have fun like this, visit Linda’s blog and find out how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/10/07/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-8-2022/
Back of the Fridge by John W. Howell © 2022
“You didn’t do the prompt.”
“I did so.”
“You mentioned the phrase but not the first thing you think of when you think of ‘back of the fridge'”
“Yes, it was the half and half.”
“For heaven’s sake. I thought you would come up with something like a hairy cheese ball or a petrified pork chop.”
“And what kind of story would that make?”
“I don’t know. You are the writer, not me.”
“Who wants to read about a piece of cheese or pork chop anyway?”
“You could have made a humorous thing out of it.”
“I don’t know. Maybe the pork chop that ate New York.”
“Good thing I’m the writer here.”
“What does that mean?”
“Your suggestion sucked.”
“Gee, don’t hold back on my account.”
“I thought you would mention a Voo Doo Ranger in the back of the fridge.”
“You have one?”
“The Producer just loaded twelve in there.”
“Twelve? For you, that’s a three-month supply. Maybe I can help you with that.”
“Maybe so. Give me your keys.”
“I’m only going to have one.”
“Says the man with no self-control.”
“I resemble that. Okay, here are the keys. Where’s the opener?”
“I thought you would say trading car keys for a church key.”
“Now you know why I’m not the writer. Opener?”
“Top drawer over there.”