The coffee firm in my hand and a stroll to the backyard brings me face to face with Wile E Coyote. “How’s it going?” He looks up from the plunger. “Ready whenever you are.” This causes me to wonder how I got to be in charge of the signal for detonation. Waving my hand, I do a Pontius Pilot maneuver.” It is your job” He goes to one knee again, placing his hand on the t-bar slide. “I just thought you wanted to give the go-ahead.” Turning abruptly, a shout of “no” goes over my shoulder while heading for the house and taking cover under the heaviest sofa.
The sound of the C-4 being set free causes my molars to crack in the subsequent teeth clench. The vibration moves me like a basketball being dribbled in the NBA. The separation between me and the couch is complete just as a deathly quiet settles over the room. There is nothing compelling me to look through the shattered windows other than the distant sound of emergency vehicles sounding like a herd of cats.
Courage restored a look at the backyard brings to mind what a volcano must look like when first being born. A vast hole and at least six feet of dirt and turf surrounding it are where the safe used to be. It looks like Wile’s plan from the standpoint of moving the safe is complete. My mind immediately goes to the question, Where did it go?
To find out, processing through the security shutdown sequence and throwing open the front door is done. Wile is standing next to his flatbed truck which also harbors a smoking safe. My stunned expression must have brought some satisfaction to Wile since he smiles and hands me an envelope. He climbs up into the truck and waves goodbye. As he drives off, I can see the door of the safe open like a hatch on a tank, and Sam’s head slowly appear. Waving to Sam brings nothing in return but an obscene sign with his upraised fist. Sighing with relief and looking forward to being alone in my element, I open the envelope. Inside were two things. The first is Wile’s bill, and the second a note from Linda Hill. It reads. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “element.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!
If you would like to have fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/10/28/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-29-2022/
Element by John W. Howell © 2022
“You just squeaked that prompt one in.”
“Yes, but don’t tell anyone.”
“Who am I going to tell?”
“Are you kidding me? You have a pack of fans.”
“A pack? Having fans is a little out of my element.”
“Oh, come on. You love it.”
“How do you know I have fans.”
“See the comment section down there?”
“Every week, someone wants to know more about you.”
“No. There is an element of danger in you that some people find attractive.”
“Like what kind of danger?”
“You seem to be single.”
“No visible means of support.”
“Drinks a lot.”
“All in all, a very dangerous fellow.”
“I see what you mean. Folks like that?”
“Hey, any man who drinks all the time can’t be all bad.”
“Who said that?”
“Well, the element of drinking was espoused by W.C. Fields.”
“Sounds like a good element.”
“You finished with the discussion about fans?”
“For now. Let’s turn to VooDoo Ranger.”
“Yup. You got the Uber.”