Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #387 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below)as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”

Here is a link to Keith’s post https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2022/11/21/kreative-kue-387/

The Photo.

60 Minutes by John W. Howell © 2022

“So you are the head tortoise.”

“Yup.”

“I wonder. Do you have a name?”

“I do.”

“Uh, could you share it?”

“Tom.”

“Tom the tortoise?”

“Just Tom.”

“What makes you the head tortoise?”

“Oldest.”

“How old are you?”

“Not sure.”

“How do you know you are the oldest?”

“Been told.”

“By whom?”

“The second oldest.”

“I guess I could ask how the second oldest knew he was the second oldest, but I imagine the answer would be, He was told by the third oldest.”

“Yup.”

“I’m doing this interview for the show 60 Minutes. Ever hear of it?”

“Nope.”

“Our viewers are interested in information about things. For example, we heard you tortoises live a long time.”

“Yup.”

“Erm. Do you have any secrets?”

“Who doesn’t?”

“To a long life, I mean.”

“Stay away from drugs, tobacco, and alcohol.”

“You gotta be kidding. Where would a tortoise get drugs, tobacco, and alcohol?”

“Can’t.”

“So your advice is hollow.”

“Yet I’m the oldest of the old.”

“I suppose you have a point.”

“Damn right.”

“What’s that in your mouth?”

“Grass.”

“Ah ha.”

“For heaven’s sake.”

“You said no drugs.”

“Tallgrass. No news here. Sorry, Leslie.”

 

 

 

62 comments

  1. Can’t help but giggle through this 🙂 Fun stuff, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Dale. Glad you liked it.🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Having said all that, he does look a bit spaced out, doesn’t he? Big tortoise, that one, as I recall – from what I could find out, he was a Giant South African Leopard Tortoise. He was hanging around inside the structure where we burned wood for hot water in South Africa, and it was my job to get him out. From memory, he was about 22 inches across the widest part of his carapace, and man, was he ever heavy!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You have the greatest experiences, Keith. The tortoise and burning wood for hot water? Who does that?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It was a small gathering of huts in the middle of a wildlife reserve a few miles from Kimberley. We had a similar arrangement in the compound we used on the road contract in Tanzania.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Sounds cool. “On safari in Tanzania. Lost my corkscrew and had to survive on food and water for three weeks.”

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Michael. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  3. What a wonderful conversation. What a wonderful conversation, and there is definitely a difference between smoking and chewing grass, as well as the kind of grass.lol Have a beautiful week, John! xx Michael

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Have a beautiful week as well. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks, John! xx Michael

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Mind your business, don’t goad the bobcats, stay out of the bright sun. Probably would lead to a longer life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And stay away from black holes. Thanks, Craig.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Just move so slow that time forgets you’re around. That’ll get you to two hundred. You’ll be a physical wreck, but you’ll be somewhat alive.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Good advice, Charles. 😁

      Like

  6. haha, for the first time, you and I had a similar thought on a story here. (Mine was only a one-liner though. I don’t seem to get past that.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. One liners are sometimes the best. Thanks, GP.

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Ha ha ha! That’s a new version of ‘who’s on first’!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I think all of life is a version of ‘who’s on first.’ Thanks, Pamela.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. A wise tortoise of few words, sage advice, and a nice splash of tongue-in-cheek!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shake well and serve over ice. Thank you, Mae. 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Me and my drollmobile. Thanks, Liz.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, John. I much prefer a drollmobile to a Bentley.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Good one, John. 🙂 I think he’s proof that the folks from Muskogee live longer.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That could well be true, Tim. Thanks.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I would have loved to be present for that interview. Satire in your hands is always funny. Great one, John. 😄

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Gwen. 😁

      Like

  11. Without jumping to conclusions I am thinking about my reaction to this interview. I am going to find a warm spot in the sunshine and contemplate…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Grab three flies and enjoy.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. The Grand Old Tortoise knows all, including how to handle an interviewer. A very good skill to possess!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. The best skill when talking to Leslie Staul.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. LOL! Not a very talkative chap was he. Fun interview, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He is a tortoise of a few words. Thanks, Deborah.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. So, since I don’t for drugs or tobacco, can I expect to live 2/3 as long as Tom?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Only if you hibernate all winter

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Hahaha!

    That tortoise ain’t wrong!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Lol! Thanks for the grins, John! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad you liked it, Jan.

      Like

  17. Nice clean living, huh? Works for me! Good job, John!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Lol! Great job, John!😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you liked it. Hope Dad is better.

      Like

      1. He is…thanks, John. xo

        Liked by 1 person

  19. petespringerauthor · · Reply

    My first thought when I looked at the photo was a tortoise smoking weed or some other substance—precisely where you ended up.

    That was fun, especially learning Tom found out he was the oldest from the second oldest.😃

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Haha, it does look like a tortoise with a “funny” cigarette in his mouth!

    Like

  21. Well done on the prompt, John. I loved the age, or I should say non-age.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. […] 60 Minutes by John W. Howell © 2022 […]

    Like

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