Top Ten Things Not To Do While Creating Top Ten Lists

 

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

This list was first posted on July 14th, 2014. I think the advice still holds today. Of course, I seem to be the only one making top ten things not to do lists, so I will take it under advisement. I hope you enjoy it too.

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Top Ten Things Not To Do While Creating Top Ten Lists

10. If you are creating a top ten list, do not wait until the last minute before publication. If you do, at best, you may have to go with nine. At worst, you might get stuck after two items, leading to severe writer’s block, which might transfer to your latest novel.

9. If you are creating a top ten list, do not ask your significant other how they like it. If you do, at best, you might get an honest answer. At worst, you may find out your significant other and you have nothing whatsoever in common, which will be more of a problem than a top ten list.

8. If you are creating a top ten list, do not choose a limited subject. ( like creating top ten lists) If you do, at best, you will be hard-pressed to think of ten items, At worst, you will make your vulnerability on the subject transparent to everyone, and you could be the laughing stock of the blogosphere.

7. If you are creating a top ten list, do not think you are in line for a Pulitzer prize. If you think you are, at best, you will have a very bad day when the Pulitzers are announced. At worst, you will set yourself up for a monumental disappointment that might cripple you for life.

6. If you are creating a top ten list, do not start if you can’t count to ten. If you do, at best, you may be asking others for help. At worst, you will muddle on with no hope of completing the task and no notion as to why.

5. If you are creating a top ten list, do not start a list at number one. If you do, at best, your readers will not understand the arrangement and complain since everyone knows you count down from ten. At worst, your action could force some fragile individuals to become wards of the state for the next twenty years since you have altered what they perceive as universal normalcy.

4. If you are creating a top ten list, do not try to fit in some political rhetoric. If you do, at best, you may get some opposing comments that are not very pleasing. At worst, you’ll have political trolls after you for the rest of your natural life, and the only way to escape is to write under a pen name.

3. If you are creating a top ten list, do not get wrapped up in the serious stuff. If you do, at best, you may spend more time researching than the list is worth. At worst, you may not do enough research and find yourself on Wikipedia as an example of an idiot.

2. If you are creating a top ten list, try to find some humorous things to say. If you don’t, at best, you will collect some mercy likes but no comments. At worst, you will watch your followers drop like flies at a Raid convention.

1. If you are creating a top ten list, try to remember the previous ten, so you don’t end up repeating yourself. If you forget, at best, your readers will assume you are a lousy proofreader. At worst, they will come to the conclusion that your drinking problem has gotten to the point of intervention, and the sound at the door is the friendly technicians from Sleepy Time Rehab trying to get in with your Demerol shot and the white jacket.

67 comments

    1. Thank you, Michael.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Thanks for another great advices, John! I think i would stuck after the first line. 😉 I wish you a wonderful week! xx Michael

    Liked by 4 people

    1. A wish for a wonderful week for you as well. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Thanks, John! xx Michael

      Like

  2. Lols. Great list, John 💕🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Harmony. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  3. “…if you can’t count to ten” Really?? 🤣🤣 I think you’re a nut case, John. A loveable one, of course, but still… 😂 I’ll be laughing the rest of the day.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m glad you liked it, Gwen. Thanks for letting me know. 😁

      Like

  4. Oh yes, by all means No # 4.
    Now that I think of it, John, just how many Top Ten List makers do you know out there?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There are a lot but Top Ten things not to do? Not many. (I think you are looking at him)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I do believe you speak the truth.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Great list. Very Inception-y.

    Like

    1. Thank you, Charles. 😊

      Like

  6. Thanks for the lesson, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aways happy to serve. 😂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. It would appear that creating top ten lists is fraught with danger!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Mental instability too. 🤣

      Liked by 2 people

  8. If I ever try to do this, I’ll make sure to have a back-up blog post ready to roll. I assume these are the product of your imagination and not your experience, John. Either way, good list.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sometimes a little of both, Dan. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m always in awe that you’re able to come up with top ten lists! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I plan to return to first run lists but since I have 7 years worth it might be a while. Repeats are so easy. Thanks, Joan

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I never knew how you did it, John. No way could I come up with a weekly list.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s like laying on a bed of nails. Yu get used to it. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I’ve never heard “drop like flies at a Raid convention.” I really did laugh out loud. Thanks for the great list.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I made that up. Glad you liked it, Lauren. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s perfect

        Liked by 1 person

  12. I laughed at #5. Nothing confuses me more than blogs that arrange comments with the newest first. It seems a sure way to discourage conversation among commenters, and makes the whole concept of a thread meaningles. Grumpgrumpgrump….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think that is for the blogger so that they don’t get confused I like the grumpgrumpgrump. I’m going to add grumpitygrump so we have grumpgrumpgrumpgrumpitygrump

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Good ones, John, particularly #4! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Tim. Glad you liked them.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Lol! You crack me up, John.😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So gald, Jill. Thanks. 😊

      Like

  15. One of the best Top Ten lists ever, John!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jan. Glad to hear.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Definitely with you on the political rhetoric, John. The tolls will get you…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes they will.

      Like

  17. D.L. Finn, Author · · Reply

    Great list for making lists, John 🙂 I do love to make lists!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. D.L. Finn, Author · ·

        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  18. No politics and no serious subject matter? But . . . but Sheriff . . we’re bloggers!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know, I know. Silly me.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. petespringerauthor · · Reply

    I know these top ten lists are often a bit silly, but I think you made one excellent point that others should accept—do not get wrapped up in the series stuff. Top Ten lists are opinion-based, and people that argue about someone’s opinion not “being right” miss the point.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree, Pete. Serious is overrated. Thanks

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Amusing – and accurate. I shall forswear lists!

    Like

    1. Good idea, Alison

      Liked by 1 person

  21. We wouldn’t want #3 to happen, John. Another ingenious list! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Lauren

      Liked by 1 person

  22. lol.. thanks John.. I will bear that in mind… hugsxx

    Liked by 1 person

  23. What an interesting list!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Claire

      Like

  24. This is good advice, especially trying to remember what you have written. Ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Haha 😂 I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing 😊

    Like

    1. I’m glad you liked it. Thanks for letting me know.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Of course! 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  26. I think I made some of these mistakes! Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think we all have. Thanks, Alexandra.

      Liked by 1 person

  27. Top Ten Things To Do While Creating a Top Ten List:

    #1 Make sure you save them so you can recycle them at a later date.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Great advice, Andrew.

      Like

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