Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 396 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”

Link to Keith’s post

https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2023/03/06/kreative-kue-396/

The photo

Customer Care by John W. Howell © 2023

“Good morning. My name is Phonics Philla. Who am I talking to?”

“Uh, my name is John.”

“How may I help you, John?”

“I uh received a package that was damaged.”

“I most certainly can help you with that, John. Do you have an order number?”

“I do. It’s 6747726432963528597312H.”

“Could you repeat that, John? My computer is loading a little slowly today.”

“Ready?”

“Yes, I’m ready.”

“674.”

“Uh-huh. You can give me the rest.”

“7-7-264-329-635-285-973-12H”

“Ah, yes. I see you ordered a greenhouse. You say it was damaged?”

“Yes, the guy just shoved it off the back of the truck.”

“Can you describe the damage?”

“Broken frame and glass.”

“What frame and glass?”

“As far as I can tell, all of them.”

“Hmm. According to the record, you signed for the delivery.”

“Yes, that was before I opened the box.”

“Can you send me a photo of the damage?”

“Can’t you just send me a new one?”

“We have to be sure of the damage, sir.”

“You can’t take my word?”

“Oh, that’s rich, sir. I take your word and send you a new one and then let’s say the old one is still good. So now you have two greenhouses.”

“What on earth would I do with two greenhouses?”

“That’s not for me to say, sir. Can you send a photo?”

“How do you want it?”

“Attach it to an email. Once I get it, I can process your replacement. Oh, wait. That item is out of stock.”

“When will it be back in stock?”

“Hmm. Looks like a twelve-week lead time.”

“I won’t need it in twelve weeks. It will be summer by then. Can I get a refund?”

“I’m sorry, but you bought that item on a close-out special. Unfortunately, there are no refunds.”

“No one told me there were no refunds.”

“You signed the order.”

“I don’t see where it said ‘no refunds.'”

“It’s right on the back. I think you failed to read the terms and conditions.”

“So what can we do?”

“I think you’ll have to wait until the item comes in stock.”

“Do you have a supervisor?”

“I do. Would you like to speak to her?”

“Yes, I would.”

“Please wait while I transfer your call. I’m going to place you on a brief hold.”

“Hello?”

“Yes, hello. Is this the supervisor?”

“No, this is a customer. I want to report a greenhouse damaged in shipment.”

“Wait a minute. I’m on hold with the same problem.”

“Can you issue me a refund?”

“I said I have the same problem.”

“Let me speak to your supervisor.”

 

 

 

 

72 comments

  1. Thanks, John, I enjoyed that. The title says it all. On a personal note, I shan’t be taking part in this for a while – focusing on the screen (especially in the WP editor) is becoming rather difficult, and I think I should give it a rest until after I find out what the eye surgeon can do for me. I have no doubt things will improve once he/she has done his/her stuff. Meantime, Back Paige is preloaded until it reaches its inevitable confusion next January, and its sequel is still in pre-planning whilst I work out how to fill the hole where the plot should be!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for letting me know. I’ll work out another prompt for Tuesday. I certainly hope the surgeon has the answers. All the best to you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. This is priceless, John! It is way too true!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This is both hilarious and completely true, Boss. I’m having flashbacks!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, Marc. I have PCSSD. (Post customer service stress disorder.)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hahaha! That is so good.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Sounds like Amazon.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Or WP or any number of places. Thanks, Charles.

      Like

  4. I had to laugh, because it’s so true. And for the same reason, I feel bad for everyone who’s gone through it. Thanks for the morning smiles, John.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m glad you liked it, Staci. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  5. haha, don’t you just love trying to talk to customer service? The experience is surreal!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. A real example of an oxymoron.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. True, very true.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. There is a lot of reality to this one.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, Craig.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m sure this became more common during the pandemic. Good one, John!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Jill. It is still there.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. And around and around we go… This is sadly true, isn’t it?
    Happy Tuesday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Seems that way.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  9. This one achieves the heights of Monty Python-esque absurdity.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love that comment, Liz. Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, John. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  10. I’ve told folks in customer service positions that I’m very sorry for them–especially after Christmas when there are long lines. Your story is hilarious but oh so true. 😄

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You have to feel sorry for them because most are poorly trained in problem solving and have no real power to act. They are told to follow a script. Thanks, Gwen.

      Like

  11. you have reached the ACME customer service department. would you like to purchase a dream catcher while you wait ?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No, but you could interest me in an ICBM. Please program its target to be your coffee machine.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Caption for the picture “some assembly required.” Regarding customer service, I recently called my cable provider with an issue. As usual I got the “all representatives are busy” recording. This time it had a more accurate ending which was “your call will be ignored in the order in which it was received.”
    Have a great day, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 🤣 I like both. Thanks, Dan

      Like

  13. Ugh! Looks like it’s going to be a painfully long phone call. I’m glad this was just make believe!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes let’s hope it never becomes real. Thanks, Deborah

      Liked by 1 person

  14. In a weird sort of way, we all enjoy reading/hearing of other people’s miserable customer service experiences. Perhaps ours aren’t as dreadful or, if they are, it’s that misery-loves-company syndrome. Nicely done, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree it is fun to hear the customer service rants, Debbie. Thanks.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. John
    A greenhouse ?
    Try a grocery store and a nursery
    Just a thought.
    Good luck with your return. Keep us all posted.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your suggestion would be a shipment from Ikea. Thanks, Tom

      Like

      1. HA HA HA

        Liked by 1 person

  16. “All of it.” 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I loved this. This happens all the time. I feel your pain.
    Thanks for todays chuckle.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for joining me, Michelle.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. D.L. Finn, Author · · Reply

    Good one, John 🙂 I think I’ve been on that call.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sure you have. Thanks, Denise.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Well done, John. It’s hard to dream up a scenario that isn’t possible in the world of customer service (or lack thereof).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think you can choose any one and it won’t be far off. I used to say yu meet the strangest people on hold, like Richard Nixon

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Oh my, this is hilarious and so painful for any of us who’ve been on these phone calls. Thanks for the laughs, John. Lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it, Diana.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. A well-executed commentary on this modern world we’re all struggling to survive.
    Well done once again, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Hook. 😊

      Like

  22. Oh yes, the Telephone Complaints Wheel a never ending cycle of frustration. Been there, done that.

    Like

    1. The telephone companies are notorious. Thanks, Pam

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Perfect John. Who hasn’t been here ( maybe not with a greenhouse 😊). Enjoyed!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it, Holly.

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Accurate view, I think, John of “Customer Lack of Service” with some companies.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Tim

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Yesterday we signed for a storm door delivery without looking in the box. I was wondering what to do if it was damaged! (It’s fine.) Fun read, John.:-)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We had three different shipments of the same mirror. All arrived broken. Had to finally get a refund. Our video system picked up one delivery where the guy dropped the box on the porch. The company was nice about it and kept sending replacements but clearly their packing was not sufficient for the wear and tear of shipment. One funny thing. The box was clearly marked as a glass product and had a “do not lay flat ” warning. There was a footprint right in the middle of the box just under that warning.😁 Glad you enjoyed it Priscilla.

      Liked by 1 person

  26. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Don’t you just love customer service? Great job with the post, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Monika.

      Liked by 1 person

  27. I think the “service” in customer service left a long time ago from most companies, John. Poor packaging certainly doesn’t help the cause,, does it? I always appreciate a company who deals in reality when it comes to packaging and makes it a priority.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So true, Bruce. Thanks

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Well done, John. Who can’t relate to this?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know I can. Thanks, Jennie.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yup! You’re welcome, John.

        Liked by 1 person

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