Photo by Karim MANJRA on Unsplash
This post originally ran on February 22, 2016. I think the advice remains the same today. I hope you enjoy it.
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The inspiration for this list came on a trip to Austin, Texas two weeks ago. Of course, I didn’t do any of these things, but they came to me while unloading the car. Also, I didn’t try to include kids and pets since there is nothing funny about a possible tragedy. I hope you enjoy it.
Top Ten Things Not to Leave in Your Car
10 Do not leave a leftover Big Mac in your car. If you do, at best, you will need to ride with the windows down for a week. At worst, you will have to call Terminix to get rid of your new insect passengers. (Bad deal since it was only there for a week, after all)
9 Do not leave your phone in your car. If you do, at best, the sun will give you a new look to your case. At worst, you will wish you had bought the insurance when you get your blob’s replacement price. (No one told you those things were so delicate, did they?)
8 Do not leave your laundry in your car. If you do, at best, those wrinkles will be permanent. At worst, those plastic bags will become part of your fabric. (You got a lot of compliments on the new look, right?)
7 Do not leave your loaded gun in your car. (Texas, after all) If you do, at best, the temperature will remain below the flash point. At worst, your gun will go off and put a hole in the side of your car and the three others parked in a line parallel to yours. (It was only going to be a quick run into the store, right? That SWAT team looks pretty serious.)
6 Do not leave the twelve red roses in your car. If you do, at best, the recipient will not notice a slight wilt. At worst, you will present someone with twelve stems and try to explain how $70.00 worth of blooms are on the floor of your car. ( Man, the sun gets hot, doesn’t it?)
5 Do not leave the first-grade birthday cupcakes in your car. If you do, at best, you can tell the kids they are still warm from the oven. At worst, you will be trying to sell a new treat called cupcake crumble to gullible youth. (I’ll bet they don’t believe you. What do you think?)
4 Do not leave your keys in your car. If you do, at best, the keyman will only charge $75.00 to open the door. At worst, the local car thieves will be able to open your door for free, but you will never see the car again. (Sure, it was inadvertent but still.)
3 Do not leave your suitcase in the car where it can be seen. If you do, at best, no one will notice it on the backseat. At worst, whoever took out your back window figured you had thirty pounds of gold bars in that case. (Go figure. The window will only be $400.00)
2 Do not leave your half-full coffee cup in the holder. If you do, at best, when you return, the coffee will be stale. At worst, you will take a sip, and your lip will immediately blister from the 180-degree heat. (The melted handle should have been your clue.)
1 Do not leave your valuable vintage CD collection in your car. If you do, at best, they may sound a little warped when you play them next. At worst, you will be the proud owner of the largest stack of fused CDs (You can spend months trying to pry them apart or just call it an avant guarde sculpture.)
Fiction Favorites 
I confess. Years ago, I left my keys in the car. I’m still amazed by the AAA guy opening the door in a couple of seconds. Who knew it was that simple or maybe it’s just my car? 🙄
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No, it is pretty simple. Thanks, Gwen
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Wait. Is 7 possible?
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Very possible. There are even secret places in some car models where a gun can be stored.
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I meant the heat setting off a gun. Thought it would need more than that.
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Oh that. Naw, I made that up.
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LOL! Number six cracked me up, John. Great advice today!
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Thank you, Jill.
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Back before key fobs, our first Irish Setter locked me out of my truck at the gas station. My wife was able to bring her keys over, but not before an angry attendant shared his thoughts before letting me use his phone.
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I mean it was an accident. Oh well some folks have to vent.
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It was one of those moments when I needed some help and the guy decided to be a jerk. I’ve never been back to that station, and I’ve bought an awful lot of gas since then.
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Good for you.
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All good advice that also starts our day off with a smile!
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I’m so glad, GP. Smiles are a great thing. 😁
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I had a few of those CDs in my day.
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Ha ha ha. Do they even sell them anymore?
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I doubt it. Cassettes also melt.
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Please don’t bring up locked keys in the car! The worst time was when the BCAA guy came and opened the door without having to break in. (The keys were in the car, in the ignition, but I had not actually locked the car. Duh. I am still waiting for my Darwin award!) My husband has now bought me a car in which it is impossible to lock the keys inside.
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Good for your husband. An ounce of prevention for sure.
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I’m probably guilty of most of these, except for leaving the keys in the car. Luckily the newer cars don’t let you do that – with the ringing or buzzing or ping-ping-ping. The cupcakes? Well the frosting had melted and run down the sides!
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Oh my. That sounds like a real mess.
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Some of these items CAN be left in our cars. Coffee popsicle, anyone?
Happy Monday, dear John!
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I think we all have left a coffee. The nuts part is taking a sip of it when returning to the car.
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Blech!!
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Yes. 🤢
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Good one, John! I read articles in our local paper all the time of people reporting the theft of things left in their unlocked car. I can never figure out how people can leave a laptop, phone or purse in their unlocked car.
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Me either. It happens all the time here. Even if you leave something on the seat and the car is locked thieves figure a way in.
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I would add don’t leave your child’s bag of crayons in the car on your way to Louisiana in the summer. There will be tears.
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And a rainbow wax sculpture. 😊
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That one either! We should probably add candles to the list.
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Good idea.
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Oh dear. Great list, John. It certainly points to the differences between one location and another. You might not want to leave ice cream in your car, but we can’t leave hot chocolate (especially in the winter months!)
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Thank you, Debbie. Here coffee would stay nice and hot in the summer. I remember sitting on those frozen car seats after a night of 5 below zero.
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12 red roses I liked the most, because you always have to have them just in case LOL I like the rest of the list as well, not only have I a mental picture but also the smells that come with it
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Thank you for the visit, Milena. 😁 Glad you enjoyed the post.
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So true John! Crayons are something that can leave a huge mess too.
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😁
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Great list, John. Yep, that sounds like a Texas summer. Here’s another for anyone in bear country. Do not leave food of any kind in the car, unless, of course, you want it demolished by marauding bears.
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Yes, good advice. Those hungry bears can make a mess. Thanks, Joan.
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Yeah, it finally got to a point where I realized that my everyday music cds were now vintage, and I probably shouldn’t be leaving them in a hot car! ROFL! That’s a good one!
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Thank you, Willow. 😁
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You always have such good advice, John!!! Thanks for the advice and the chuckles to start the week off on the right foot!
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Thank you, Jill. 😁
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I’ll bet some of my students would’ve eaten the cupcake crumble!🤣 Great Monday read.
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Thank you, Linda. I’m sure most would. 😁
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He’s gotten a little better, but Son #1’s car used to be a disaster. I joked that he could easily live in his car – clothes, drinks, food. It was pretty bad.
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Daughter used to be that way and then one day she had to buy her own car and like magic it has been clean ever since.
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In Texas you shouldn’t leave anything in your car in the summer. Good ones. If you leave anything, make sure you lock the doors at least. Sadly, sometimes children or pets get left in the car in the heat.
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Yeah I don’t even like to think about kids and pets. You are right that nothing should be left in the car in Texas. Thanks, Jo.
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Never leave your Mickey D’s ANYWHERE. What you don’t eat in one sitting becomes refuse almost instantly. And as for the coffee? If it was Starbucks, how could you tell the difference?
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Good point. 😁
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I’ve been around the drive-thru a time or two.
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😁
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I think I ate some of those birthday cupcakes before. They looked positively revolting, yet how do you tell a child you don’t want their cupcakes?🤣
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Have the Imodium standing by.
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Interesting collection, dear John! Nowadays the car thieves are inventive so to leave the engine/accumulator in the car is dangerous as well. 🙂
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🤣 You are so right, Maria. We should put that in the living room for safety
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👍👍👍 Perfect solution, dear John! 🙂
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I keep stubbing my toe on it though. 😁
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During our apartment living days, one time we loaded up the truck with our trash but forgot to take it to the dumpster. “Hey, what’s that smell?” a couple of days later. Uh-oh. Took a day or two after that to air out the offensive odors.
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I can imagine the ripeness of the trash.
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Great list, John! #5 made me smile. Still warm from the oven, good one. 🙂
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Thank you, Lauren.
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#8 made me laugh my head off, and #1 made me cry. Great post, John
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I’m glad you liked it, Jennie.
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😀
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We will need a new number 1 John. Our previous car had a CD player that was not once used in its 12 years with us. New cars don’t even pretend that CDs were popular among humans at some time.
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New cars assume you have all the music you want on your iPhone.
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“… I didn’t do any of these things …”
Of course you didn’t, John. We all believe it.
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Right.
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