Last week was a humdinger is the thought as the aroma of a perfect cup of coffee fills the room. A quick sip reminds me that there is an Oscar the Grouch look-alike character living in an urn on the front porch. The temptation to hum the theme from the Good Bad and Ugly is tempered with the need to disarm the security system and have another try at getting rid of the noisy pest.
The tower machine guns are deactivated, the moat screen rolled, the concertina wire retracted, the boiling oil set to standby, the claymore mines detached, The trebuchet reset, the iron gate opened, and the locks and bolts thrown. The front door is open, and yes, the urn is still there.
We all know from reading stories that a rub on a strange urn might produce something. With that learning in mind, my hand quickly rubs a shiny spot on the side of the urn. Like magic, a cloud floats out of the urn, followed by a thing looking similar to Oscar dressed like a genie. He only comes out to the waist and yells, “Okay, you have interrupted my BBQ lunch, so you get three wishes.”
As we have all heard, this wish thing can be tricky, so taking time to think is paramount. After what seems like an hour, the first wish is issued. “I would like this urn to disappear.” There is a sound like “poof,” and it’s gone. The Oscar look-alike is standing on the porch holding a pork chop. “My next wish is to be a New York Times best-selling author for the next twenty years.” The Oscar look-alike nods.”My final wish is that you follow the urn.” The Oscar look-alike holds his hand up. “Hey, governor. If I disappear, that second wish is out of the question.”
Seems to be a fly in the Chardonnay. “So be it. Be gone.” The Oscar look-alike disappears in a cloud; only a fluttering envelope remains. Once landed, it is opened and contains a message from Linda Hill. It reads. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: starts with “hum.” Find a word that starts with “hum” or use the word “hum” itself. Send your bonus points to Dan at https://nofacilities.com/ if you use both. Enjoy! If you want to read how others responded to the prompt, visit Linda’s blog. Here’s the link. https://lindaghill.com/2023/09/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-30-2023/
Hum by John W. Howell © 2023
“Well, you got the bonus points.”
“Yup. I already requested them from Dan Antion.”
“Good. I hope he doesn’t run out.”
“Nah. Dan has a virtual bonus point printer. He’s like the government.”
“Well, that’s good. Not much to say about your story today.”
“Got rid of the character, which makes me happy.”
“I guess that’s all that counts.”
“That urn’s been on my porch for three weeks.”
“What was up with that best-seller wish?”
“Figured it couldn’t hurt.”
“You don’t feel bad about losing it?”
“You can feel bad about losing something you never had.”
“Ah, a philosophical day today.”
“We’ll just call it a realist day.”
“You know what else is real?”
“Have you called Uber?”
He’s right over there. Look.”
Photo courtesy of Dan Antion
“That’s a tractor.”
“Hey, you know your vehicles.”
“How are we going to fit on that?”
“Snugly. Very snugly in the open air.”
Fiction Favorites 
An Uber convertible, excellent!
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The positive view for sure.
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It is!
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😊
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A genie that looks like Oscar and a tractor Uber, haha!
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I’m glad you liked my silliness, Vera. 😁
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Well done, John. I’d never deplete the Bentley fund of another lug nut. Enjoy the ride and be careful not to over do the VooDoos, if you have to call that contraption for a ride home.
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It is a two handed hang item for sure. Thanks, Dan
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You have one humdinger of a story here, John. I look forward to seeing your posts and finding out just how far your imagination might go!!
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Aw. Thank you, GP. 😁
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You’re not blushing, are you?
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Of course.
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That was certainly a humdinger of a story, John. Enjoy the Uber ride!
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Thank you, Linda. 😁
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The theme from Green Acres went through my mind when the Uber showed up.
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Greeeeen Acres is the place to be. Now you have me doing it.
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There is a dangling ploughed joke hanging from the rearview mirror of that tractor. Fortunately it is so low hanging I might hurt my back. So enjoy the voodoo rangers…
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Thank you, John
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At least it isn’t a riding mower. Those are nightmares on the highways down south.
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That is a good thing.
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Well, you got rid of Oscar and the urn, even if you had to face your second wish realistically. Too bad the tractor doesn’t have a trailer. It could be a hayride to the pub. 🙂
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That would be fun. We could pick up some near do wells on the way. 😊
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Oscar the Grouch Genie with a bottle. Sounds like a unique Halloween costume, John. Since he is now gone, is your security system now gone? Or are you waiting for the next thing to wind up on the porch?
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The security system was installed to protect us from the likes of an Oscar type character. It will remain in place and has been reset.
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What a lovely way to ride to your destination! You’d get lots of ‘looks’!
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Especially with the overalls and straw hat.
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Hi John, I know from experience that tractor’s are very uncomfortable. I’d rather walk. I’m glad you sorted out the urn.
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Thank you Robbie. I also know tractors from personal experience.
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😀
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😊
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That looks like the tractor I had when I was a kid except the wheels are bigger. Good one, John! Happy Saturday sung to the tune of Thank God I’m a Country Boy.😉
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Happy Saturday to You, Jill *sung to the tune of Crying by Roy Orbison. 😁
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John Deere just fired off an email to Uber…
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John thinks if a Farmall can be used for transportation surely something that runs like a deer can too.
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I now have a good, bad, and ugly ear worm. Great post!
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Ha ha ha
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This made me smile. Big smiles. 😀
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😁
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Hmm, I think I’d let Oscar the Grouch live on my porch if it meant I could be a NYT best-selling author.
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well there is that
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😀
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Never know when that second wish may come true 🙂
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Next life, maybe. 😁
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Ahh, there’s nothing like a drive with the top down on beautiful day.
Anyway, I would have never guessed Oscar the Grouch would have taken a job as an “Open Sesame” type character.
Well, good riddance to that porch f urn iture!
Now we can finally wonder what will show u next week!
OX OX OX OX
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It took a while but yes the urn is gone. (and Oscar) OX OX OX OX🌹
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🌹OX OX OX OX🌹
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🌹OX OX OX OX🌹🌺
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🌺🌹OX OX OX OX🌹🌺
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You win. 😁X
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