Photo by Handiwork NYC on Unsplash
This post ran on August 14, 2017. If you are moving, it may make sense. Hopefully, it will give a chuckle.
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The inspiration for this piece was the arrival of a new couch and the accompanying rearranging of furniture. Since moving households is something almost everyone faces, I thought it would be fun to recap some things we should avoid doing should a move be necessary. I hope you enjoy the list.
10 If you are moving, do not attempt it alone. If you do, at best, it may take longer than expected. At worst, you could get caught under that heavy dresser and be missing for weeks. (Gotta hope the new tenants will figure out where those screams are coming from, hey, Buster?)
9 If you are moving, do not forget to tip the movers. If you do, at best, that last carton will stay on the truck. At worst, the big guy named Tiny, the WWF champ, will be asking questions about the quality of service. (You hope he puts you down gently, right, Buford?)
8 If you are moving, do not think the movers will understand your attachment to grandma’s hand-me-down table. If you do, at best, that scratch can be covered up. At worst, you can start your first fire with what is left. (Seems like you should have mentioned how fragile it was, Boswell)
7 If you are moving, do not pack the boxes yourself. If you do, at best, there will be a few items broken. At worst, that tinkling noise when you pick up the box marked “crystal” will not be a welcome sound. (Looks like the savings on the cost of packing has gone into the red, Boris.)
6 If you are moving, do not mark the boxes with your own code. If you do, at best, you’ll remember most of the code. At worst, in the rush of the move, you will forget what you meant and take a guess as to where things should go. (Nice to have all your pots and pans in the garage, isn’t it, Bosco?)
5 If you are moving, do not leave the old house without checking to see that everything is out. If you do, at best, you’ll leave behind things that don’t matter. At worst, you’ll wonder what happened to the washer and dryer in transit. (Of course, the movers thought they stayed with the house, Basil.)
4 If you are moving, do not forget to change the water, gas, and electric bills. If you do, at best, it might take you a day or two to remember. At worst, you receive a bill that is ten times your usual usage. (The new people decided they like the air conditioning set at 70 degrees and the lawn watered daily. Guess you should have paid attention, Bentley.)
3 If you are moving, do not think your new neighbors need to give you cookies. If you do, at best, you might be disappointed. At worst, as you mention the oversight, you learn your previous residents were running a crack house. (Looks like it might be a couple of years before anyone trusts you, Bubba.)
2 If you are moving, do not think the movers will place everything as you have it labeled. If you do, at best, you may find some things in unusual places. At worst, you realize after they are gone that your master bedroom furniture is on the patio. (And guess what furniture is in the master bedroom, Burt?)
1 If you are moving, do not think you can challenge your partner on the layout of each room. If you do, at best, you are in for a long day. At worst, combined with the stress of moving, your input might be enough to win you an overnight accommodation in the backyard. ( You could have said something when the plans were drawn up, huh, Butch?)
Fiction Favorites 
#4 is always a headache.
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So true. Thanks, Charles.
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Number one for the win (or loss). Good list, John.
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Thanks, Dan.
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LOL! Number three cracks me up. Good list, John!
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I’m glad you got a laugh, Jill.
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Love these, John! Have a good week. Hugs 🤗💕😊
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Thank you, Harmony. I hope your week goes well too. 🤗
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I can’t count how many times I’ve moved, but I must say – I screwed up every time!!
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I’m with you. I moved 22 times and still couldn’t get it right.
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We’re just a couple of 🤪🤪
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Yup.
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At least the bed is on the patio if you have to sleep back there.
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Thank heavens for the cool nights. The scorpions are a bother though.
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🦂
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😁
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I’ve always packed my own boxes, without incident. On the other hand, now that my very best friends are women over 60 and don’t own trucks, I’ve learned to follow #10 and call in the movers for the heavy stuff.
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At my age the key is not to move again. Thanks, Linda.
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Thanks for the laugh. I really like these top ten lists.
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I’m glad, Darcy. Thanks for telling me.
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Of course!
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😊
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LOL We had a move a couple years ago, and I can verify this is all true. 😀 😀
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Thanks, Kymber. 😊
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Considering the number of times hubby and I have moved both sons, we could have written this list, lol. Moving one of them again the end of this month. At least it’s not in July this time.
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I cannot imagine moving in July. You are better than me, Gunga Din.
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This was funny! Marking the boxes in code made me laugh!
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One failure for sure.
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Yes! 😂
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I know 🤕“Tiny”🤕…he is not a nice man and he has bad breath🧌
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Ha ha ha. Thanks for the laugh, Big Tuna.
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Moving is such a nightmare. *shudder*
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I’ll join you. “shudder.”
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🙂
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Loved the new “names” you used. As an experienced Miles Mover I can relate to all these. But I can’t get my brain around 22 moves. OMG.
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I know right? Miles was 12 alone.
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Number 3 made me laugh. Some unadulterated cookies would be welcome! But number 1 was probably the mistake I’ve made more often than not. 🙂 Thank goodness the hubby leaves it up to me (most of the time). A fun list, John.
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Thank you, Diana. I’m glad you liked it.
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We’ve been living in this house 28 years now and even the idea of moving stuff from the house into the garage for the dreaded ‘yard sale’ years ago was headache-inducing. Every one of these is spot on, John.
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Thank you, Lois. Headache indeed.
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All good points, John. I dread moving.
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Me too I want this last one to be the last one.
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I dread the thought of having to move after living in the same house thirty-plus years. All good advice, John.
Number 10 had me laughing.
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Must keep this pasted to forehead at next move. 🙂
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Or taped to that one moving box that never got unpacked. (I wonder what’s in there?)
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So true! I must have had this list in my head when we moved – I had all the boxes labeled with contents and what room they went into and where. We packed ourselves (yes, I know) and were moved out and in again in less than a day.
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Wow you did it right then. Thanks, Noelle.
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My husband says I am anal-retentive.
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Ha ha ha
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Moving is sooo stressful. When I was younger, twas easy to load up the car with all my stuff and move for a new job and apartment. No more. We ALL have far too much stuff. I suppose we should pare down as we get older, but too often, that’s when we cling tightly to our things (perhaps because each of them is a memory we don’t want to forget??)
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I think you hit on why we hod stuff. The memories tend to make them appear mot valuable than in all reality they are.
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Too funny! If we ever move again, we will be getting rid of a lot of stuff and we won’t be doing it ourselves. #6 would trip me up though.
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Thanks, Jo.
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The last time we moved we did get rid of a lot of stuff. Yes coding the boxes has it’s downside for sure. Thanks, Jo.
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Good one, John, with a lot of truth! 🙂 The last time we moved my employer (GM) took care of everything, and the movers were excellent. My thinking is that it will be the last time I move until they put me in the old-folks home.
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Thank you , Tim. I’m with you on the not moving.
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Always tip Tiny . . .
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For sure.
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[…] Top Ten Things Not to Do When Moving […]
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Thanks for sharing my post.
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Oh! How urgent, dear John! I moved alone…😪😪😪oh, these boxes…Thanks God, there were only 14…Thank you for this pretty nostalgy. 🍻🍤🍤🍤
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Yes thanks God there were only 14. That would be a lot if you had to carry them all. 😁
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😱😱😱 Oh, boy! A trip to our international post-office was already a wild adventure. What to say if I had had to carry them.
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I can imagine.
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Number one creeps into non-moving situations as well 😦
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That is true. Thanks, Ankur.
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You get two comments for the price of one. I always save your Top Ten Lists to enjoy them all at one time. This time I screwed up and waited too long. This comment is for your previous list about robbing a bank.
Comment I: :If you are holding up a bank and are successful, do not brag about it on Facebook.” Some geniuses actually do that!
About this list:
Comment II: “If you are moving, do not think you can challenge your partner on the layout of each room.” So true!!!
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Thanks, Andrew. It is always good to get your comments on the Top Ten.
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