Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash
The inspiration for this list is the fact that this week is Thanksgiving here in the US. There have been several Thanksgiving situations that I personally witnessed, and I thought it would be fun to capture them and provide ample warning for your occasion this year. If you have ever done any of these things, it might be a nice change to sit back and let others have center stage this year.
10 On Thanksgiving, do not try to prepare the perfect Turkey. If you do, at best, you’ll have reason to cry. At worst, not only is this year’s turkey not perfect, it is the worst one ever. (Nothing like eating what resembles dry balsa wood, huh, Chandler?)
9 On Thanksgiving, do not invite your cousin Tiny, the WWF wrestling champ, to your house for dinner. If you do, at best, you’ll possibly get by with only a broken dining room chair. At worst, Tiny and your uncle Jim will continue the feud that began last year’s Thanksgiving dinner. (Who is going to clean up what looks like a movie bar fight scene in your living room, Cohen? Not to mention reviving Aunt Helen.)
8 On Thanksgiving, do not try out that experimental stuffing recipe on the family. If you do, at best, you’ll have plenty left over. At worst, the family will feel cheated out of a traditional dinner. (Who started the food fight is not a question that needs an answer right now, Canyon. It is probably more important to get that stuff off the walls before it hardens.)
7 On Thanksgiving, do not think you can deep-fry your Turkey in the kitchen. If you do, at best, your place will smell like an oil derrick for a month. At worst, the fire department will declare what’s left of your house and lot a hazardous waste site. (Who is going to cover the EPA bill for clean-up, Channing?)
6 On Thanksgiving, do not think it is a good idea to start serving mimosas at eleven o’clock. If you do, at best, you’ll run out of Champaign before everyone is blitzed. At worse, all your guests have lost interest in the dinner and are out in the yard trying to work off the Champaign with touch football. (Don’t worry, Cortez. Sooner or later, they will be back for the leftovers.)
5 On Thanksgiving, do not try some unnatural seating configuration, thinking it will liven the conversation. If you do, at best, you won’t seat sworn enemies next to each other. At worst, since you now have strangers all having to talk to strangers, the sound of crickets is deafening. (That magazine suggestion doesn’t seem all that good right now, does it, Cord?)
4 On Thanksgiving, do not think everyone in the world would enjoy a tofu turkey. If you do, at best, the polite ones will give it a try. At worst, you will wonder why all your guests are on the phone ordering Domino’s delivery. (The fact that you were looking out for everyone’s health doesn’t seem worthwhile now, Cable.)
3 On Thanksgiving, do not think because you hate pumpkin pie, everyone else does as well. If you do, at best, your banana creme will be well received. At worst, the traditionalists will find an excuse to leave early so they can pick up a frozen Mrs. Smith’s pumpkin pie. (Hare to believe you only have one guest remaining, isn’t it, Cacey?)
2 On Thanksgiving, do not think sharing leftovers is not expected. If you do, at best, you’ll get some strange looks as people leave. At worst, your loudest relative will ask out loud, What? No leftovers to take home? (Maybe you should have put together some to-go containers, Cadell. Well, there is always next year if any return.)
1 On Thanksgiving, do not think you can turn off the football game. If you do, at best, you’ll have some complaints. At worst, you will discover most of the guests in your bedroom watching the game anyway. (It is shocking that people want to watch a game even if it is the two worst teams playing. Right, Cadell?)
Fiction Favorites 
Teehehee! A timely reminder, John. And it’s a useful one for us folks in the UK for Christmas Day 😉 Have a wonderful week 🤗💕🙂
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Have a wonderful week as well, Harmony. 😁
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Great words of advice! Tofu turkey, Tiny Tim, morning mimosas are all too funny. Not sure where you get your ideas, John, but they are clever and funny. Happy Thanksgiving!
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Thank you, Karen. 😁 The ideas come from 82 years of observation.
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I prefer of people take leftovers. Take as much turkey as possible because I want better food for the rest of the week.
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A very good reason. 😁
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Sound advice for every year.
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Thanks, Craig.
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You know I like # 9 best – good ole Tiny! But when my brother-in-law decided to deep-fry his turkey, I went back in the living room to watch football!!!
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Good place to be. Might be handy to have a fire blanket too. Love the gif.
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Never thought of that. If he does it again, I’ll be prepared!!
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Leftovers are the best part of the Thanksgiving meal, for sure. Any host who doesn’t plan to have plenty of them to send home with guests is bound to become a subject of conversation. And you’re right about the mimosas (Bloody Marys, Bud Lights, etc.)
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Yeah, over served on Thanksgiving is not a pretty picture. Thanks, Linda
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Great advice, John…especially the football!
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Thank you, Jill. 😊
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Thanks for the great list, John. As someone who once “damaged” the turkey in a grill-grease fire, I pay attention to all of these. At least Detroit seems to be playing well this year.
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That is an amazing thing. Since I was ten years old and had some awareness the Lions never had a great team.
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But they love playing on Thanksgiving.
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I know right?
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Good advice. Happy Thanksgiving, John!
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Thank you, Joan. Happy Thanksgiving to you as well.
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My brother-in-law set the porch on fire trying to fry a turkey. Melted the vinyl siding of the house. Of course, it was a rental house.
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Oh my. That cost a pretty penny I’m sure.
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I’m sure it did.
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😁 Glad it wasn’t me.
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This particular brother-in-law had a penchant for getting himself in trouble.
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Sounds like it.
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Let the wild and crazy festivities begin. It will be nice seeing the Lions as a favorite for the game. Happy Thanksgiving John.
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Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving to whoever you are.
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Tofu turkey? Sounds almost illegal. Have a great Thanksgiving, John. I wish you much laughter and family fun. 😊
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Thank you, Gwen. I wish you the same.
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#6 gave me an idea: Do all the cooking for Thanksgiving on Wednesday and have people over for leftovers the next day. Seriously: cook the dinner and put it in the refrigerator overnight, then when everyone comes, take it out and reheat it.
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Sounds like a good idea for sure. The leftovers taste better anyway.
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Food needs a night in the refrigerator, I think…
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I agree.
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Great tips here! I once invited fairly new friends over for Thanksgiving. I later learned they were worried I would serve a tofu turkey as they knew I was a vegetarian. Despite that, I always make a turkey for hubby and guests and stuffed peppers for me. They enjoyed the turkey and the peppers!
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Ooooh stuffed peppers. I would rather have those. Thanks, Darlene.
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LOL These tips had me rolling, John! I saw a meme that said, “This year, I’m secretly stuffing the turkey with Prozac so we can have a stress free holiday!” lol
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I find that wine does the same thing. Thanks, Kymber.
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Hahahaha. Hilarious, John!
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Thank you, Sue. Glad you liked it.
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Good advice, John. 😀 Happy Thanksgiving! ❤
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Thank you Tim. Happy Thanksgiving to you. 😁
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Great advice, John! Number 4 reminds me of a Thanksgiving dinner we went to where Tofurkey (insert emoji of eye roll) was served because one of the guests was vegetarian. To be polite, I had a taste and that was enough for me. I’ve got nothing against tofu (I’ve eaten plenty in dishes where it belongs), but it’s not meant to replace turkey … no way, no how … lol.
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I so agree, Marie. Doesn’t belong.
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Good list, John. I’m rather partial to watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, as well as the national dog show. Kind of makes cooking more challenging, ha!
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We like the same thing Debbie.
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Ha! Ha! Great list, John. Happy Thanksgiving!
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Thank you, Jan
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Great Thanksgiving suggestions, although we don’t share the leftovers… lol. Happy Thanksgiving, John!
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Thank you, Denise. Happy Thanksgiving to you.
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Great ones! A tofu turkey? I can’t imagine anything works. Of course, you could always have a turducken.
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I guess so. Thanks, Noelle.
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How easily one can get into trouble on Thanksgiving! Must reads for some of us. Good ones to remember, John!
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Thank you, Jo. Happy Thanksgiving.
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So funny, John! #9 Including Aunt Helen made this one of Tiny’s best. I laughed all the way to St. Louis. 😀
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I’m glad, Jennie. 😊
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😀
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Happy Thanksgiving! I’ll add one of mine – Don’t think it’s okay to let the middle sister start drinking wine at 11:00am. At best she’ll be nice to everyone and the apps will be fantastic, at worst she’ll forget to finish cooking and the entire OLine will starve to death and we’ll be off their list for next year. (Happened)
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Oh my gosh. What a story. Thanks for sharing, Audrey.
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Hubby always fries a turkey (soooo good), but not in the kitchen so far!
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Good idea.
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Spot on John, sage advice! Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! Hugs, C
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Thank you, Cheryl. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours as well.
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I’m not sure I like the sound of tofu turkey, John! 🙂 Great list and have a wonderful Thanksgiving! 🦃😁🧡
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You as well, Lauren.
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It so happens that I am reading this on Thanksgiving Day (Thursday 23 Nov). Wish you a Happy Thanksgiving! Also got to hear more about Thanksgiving as my sister, who lives in California and was here these last 2 weeks, just went back in time for it.
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Thank you for the lovely wish for Thanksgiving. A tradition that dates back to the 1600s. I would love to hear her perspective. 😁
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Now that your Thanskgiving dinner is surely over, hopefully none of these occured 😉
Hope you had a lovely one, John.
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Yes, we had a lovely time. Thank you, Dale
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🤗
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I’m a few days late and a couple of dollars short. But I’ll wish you a Happy Thanksgiving for next year.
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Thank you, Andrew. I hope yours was good too.
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Well…o matter I have delayed this year, dear John, Happy Thanksgiving day! I hope the turkey was excellent & guests were happy. 😁🍻🍤🍤🍤
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All went very well. Thanks, Maria
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😉😊
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😊
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Hmmm…Turkey looks like a tough nut to master. Hope you did better, John!
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Turkey is a problem. Ours was terrific. Thanks, Ankur.
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